Relationships between people are built on communication. It doesn't matter whether you are talking in person or by correspondence. Communication with your close circle occurs at the everyday level, if we are talking about household members and friends. Professional topics are discussed at work, and sometimes personal interests are also touched upon. But there are situations when it is necessary to find out more about a person than the framework of communication allows, and it is not entirely correct to conduct an interrogation or arrange an interview. Correctly selected psychological questions come to the rescue.
The art of asking the right questions comes with experience. It is equally important to listen and hear the answers and give them the correct interpretation. Many years of experience by specialists allow us to formulate psychological questions in such a way as to get to know a person better, identify his hidden capabilities and reveal his potential. This knowledge will help you build further relationships and make the communication process easy and enjoyable.
What is your most vivid memory from childhood?
And this is the first psychological question to get to know a person. He will make both a young girl and a respectable veteran smile. For many of us, these are the warmest memories that we want to talk about with humor and a smile on our faces. About trips with the whole family, children's dreams, dashing adventures, children's companions, happy holidays.
Memories of childhood bring people closer together - you will understand how much you had in common then, even if you did not know each other at that time.
Worldview
Each of us has ideas about what is good and what is bad, what to do in a given situation. This is a worldview. When two people have different principles, views on life, and attitudes towards current events, it is difficult for them to find a common language and understand each other, so be sure to discuss this topic with your boyfriend.
- Religion
Religious views influence human culture and behavior. For example, Muslims treat women completely differently than Christian men. Ask the guy:
- Are you a religious person? If yes, what religion do you profess?
- How do you feel about other religions?
- Have you ever made decisions based on religion?
- Is another person's religion important to you?
Talk about religion carefully, do not express a negative opinion about one direction or another, so as not to offend a person.
- Political Views
This topic is relevant at any age, so it needs to be discussed immediately so that there are no conflicts later. Any relationship is built on communication, and if you support the forces that your boyfriend criticizes, nothing good will come of it. There will always be a stumbling block between you. At the first meeting, ask:
- Are you interested in politics?
- What political forces do you support and why?
- How do you feel about the current government?
- How do you see the future of our country?
- What would you like to change in the politics of our state?
If your political views differ with your guy, but at the same time he is ready to listen to your position and accept it, you can safely start building a relationship.
- Moral and spiritual values
Each person's norms of behavior are different. It will be difficult for a kind, sympathetic, hardworking girl to understand a young man who deceives, earns money dishonestly, and does not know what nobility is. In order not to be disappointed in the guy later, find out what moral and spiritual values are the norm for him. The following questions will help you find out the information you need:
- Could you cheat on your loved one?
- What action were you most ashamed of?
- What qualities do you value in people?
- Can you sleep with a girl without feelings?
- What memorable things have you done?
When you first meet, don't be interested in the guy's financial situation. Questions on this topic always repel men. Try to find out everything you need not directly, but by asking more tricky questions that will not cause a negative reaction.
- Life guidelines
Family, material wealth, self-realization in one area or another - these are life guidelines. If you want to become a financially independent person and achieve great heights in your career, and a young man has long dreamed of a family and a cozy home, then you will definitely not be able to have a strong union with him. What questions should you prepare for the guy to get to know him better in this regard?
- What is your dream home?
- What do you get the most satisfaction from?
- Is social status and position in society important to you?
- How much money do you need to be completely happy?
If communication with a guy upsets you, you can't relax with him, he's not even close to you.
- Idols
An idol is an object of admiration, an example to follow. If you know who a guy's idol is, you can easily determine his interests, hobbies and views. Ask your new friend these questions:
- Who do you admire?
- Who is your ideal person and why?
- Who was your childhood idol?
- Which famous person would you like to be like?
After you ask the guy something, develop the topic, ask leading questions, express your opinion about the situation, but politely.
How did you meet...
With your husband or wife, your best friend or girlfriend, with one of your mutual friends. The narrative of an acquaintance that spans a person's entire life opens him up. And it allows him to relive the joyful emotions of years gone by.
This is a very useful psychological question to get to know a person. And above all - for the one who asks it. You get acquainted with real-life experience of how to maintain a friendship or relationship for many years, how to overcome quarrels and difficulties together.
Social position
A person’s behavior largely depends on his social position. If it is active, we are interested in current events, try to change something for the better, and experiment. People with a passive social position are indifferent to everything. By nature, they are pessimists, incapable of taking decisive steps. It is much more difficult to find a common language with them. Find out immediately what position the young man occupies in society. This will make it easier for you to determine whether it is right for you or not.
- Personal qualities of people
Each of us wears masks to improve relationships, improve our situation at work, etc. Once you find out what personal qualities are characteristic of a young man, you will understand what he really is like.
5 questions to ask a guy:
- Do you like to walk around the house naked?
- Do you have a wristwatch? If so, how often do you wear them?
- How do you feel about tattoos on your body?
- Do you draw while talking on the phone?
- Do you like to eat on the go?
The habit of snacking on the go indicates that a man is impetuous and impatient. Quite emotional people draw during telephone conversations. A passion for tattoos is a sign that the guy is unoriginal, but he is active and friendly. The habit of constantly wearing a wristwatch indicates excessive punctuality and pedantry. Only a confident person can walk around the house without clothes.
- Family values
Family values are the foundation on which a person’s life is built. Find out what your new friend's personality is like to understand how compatible you are. Ask:
- Will you be able to forgive the girl who offended you?
- Do you take into account the opinions of loved ones?
- How do you feel about men who live in two families?
- Will you give your last money to someone who really needs it?
- Are there any traditions in your family? How do you feel about them?
- What will you do if your girlfriend is in a bad mood?
If the family values of a guy and a girl do not coincide, they will not feel spiritual closeness, and interest in each other will quickly disappear.
- Attitude towards friendship
A person who does not know what true friendship is is unlikely to be a reliable support in life. To understand whether your new acquaintance knows how to be friends, ask him the following questions:
- Will you support your friend even if you know he is wrong?
- Would you tell a friend that his girlfriend is cheating on him?
- Can you tell your friend directly about his shortcomings?
- How long have you been talking to your best friend?
- Can you keep your friend's secrets?
- How do you feel about friendly banter? Is this normal?
If a young man changes friends like gloves, he is unreliable. The likelihood of betrayal on his part is very high.
- Priority Behaviors
Questions regarding the priority model of behavior will help you understand what a guy will do in a given situation. What to ask?
- How would you react if you found out that your girlfriend looked at your messages without permission?
- What will you do if your parents refuse to accept your chosen one?
- Can you tell a girl that you cheated on her, even if you did it unconsciously?
- What will you do if you find out that your girlfriend has betrayed you?
- What will you do if you find yourself on a desert island?
Even if you disagree with a young man on something, do not criticize his position, try to understand and be a kind of “comrade in arms.”
What kind of music do you like?
If you need 10 questions to get to know a person, don't forget to include this one in your honor roll. Favorite music reflects a person’s character and temperament, speaks of his dreams and hopes. After all, what a person listens to resonates with his soul.
Therefore, musical preferences will tell you what your friend is like deep down. And they can often surprise you. Outwardly calm people sometimes prefer heavy rock music. Severe and unemotional people put love romances first. By sharing your musical preferences, you can tell a lot more about yourself than words can express.
This game will help you find out the true character of any person.
Finding a common language with a stranger is not always possible. And it's not about your lack of communication skills. Questions on psychology will help you find out a person’s character. But in what format should you ask these questions, and will you be able to interpret the answers correctly? Let's turn to a specialist, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin. He will give practical advice on how to get to know the characteristics of your interlocutor in a playful way. Interesting questions on psychology and videos with recommendations can be viewed by following the link.
Another way shows what human psychology is and how to get to know a person without asking him a single question: spend some time in the role of a super agent. Observe the newcomer and draw up his portrait for yourself. Notice the details: what he eats, how he dresses, how he behaves when crossing a zebra crossing. Do you communicate with all colleagues at the same level? Acts spontaneously or analyzes everything. How he perceives the shortcomings of others. Where do his boundaries of goodness end? Sincere - at what stage will he begin to lie; incorruptible - up to what amount of money? Having made a detailed analysis, you can draw conclusions about how a given person will behave in a certain situation and whether you can trust him.
What 5 things would you take to a desert island/space flight?
This is a question about a person that will make him think hard. The things to which we are most attached clearly characterize us. What a person chooses is most dear to him. Why? He must answer this question for himself.
What are the selected items? Are these material goods or things that hold dear memories? Are these objects of art or modern gadgets? As you can see, the question allows you to find out what exactly your interlocutor puts forward in the first place.
Questions about the past
The past creates us in the present, which is why it is so important. Yes, people change, but not as quickly as we would like. Therefore, the one who betrayed once will repeat it again. Questions about the past will help you understand your friend and trace the connection between his present and past.
Childhood
- Have you ever kept a diary?
- Did you like going to kindergarten? What did you dislike the most?
- Was it easy to study at school?
- What changed you as a teenager?
- Who was your first love?
- Do you communicate with your classmates and school friends?
- Do you have Brother or sister? Are you a good communicator?
- If you were asked to change something about your childhood, what would you choose?
- What did you dream of becoming as a child?
- What were your hobbies, what sections and clubs did you attend?
Biography
- What was the best period in your life?
- What was the worst period in your life?
- Have you ever lost someone close to you?
- When did you feel the biggest adrenaline rush?
- Which of your parents are you closer to and why?
- What are you most grateful for?
- What did your last relationship teach you?
- What is your biggest regret in life?
Which first teacher is more dear to you than others?
Experts consider this one of the important psychological issues. To get to know a person from the perspective of his attitude to knowledge and self-knowledge, ask him about his first teacher. After all, it is this teacher who instills a love of knowledge in general, helps to reveal the child’s creative potential and aspirations in the field of knowledge.
If a person has negative memories of his first teacher, this may also explain some of his real problems. Perhaps he is busy with something he doesn’t like because once upon a time he was not helped to decide on a field of activity that was more suitable for him than others.
Questions for friends
Find out how close a friend is. Perhaps he is just pretending and using you for his own purposes? Even in a same-sex friendship, you cannot be sure that your friend is not in love with you, and when the friend is a man, the risk of hidden love is even higher.
Funny Questions
- Has this ever happened to you: you come up with something new, an idea arises, and then you find out that someone is already making money from it and promoting the invention to the masses?
- If you were an electrical appliance, what kind would it be?
- If you could never eat or never sleep, which would you choose?
Personal questions
- When did you have your first experience of intimacy with the opposite sex?
- What's your biggest lie?
- Do you have a secret that is weighing you down and you have no one to share it with?
- Are you afraid of old age? Of death?
- Is there something (someone) that everyone is crazy about, but it pisses you off?
Questions for a friend
- What do you think about best friends of the opposite sex?
- Do you see me as just a friend or more?
- Do you believe in friendship between a man and a woman?
- Who is smarter: a man or a woman?
- What's the nicest thing your friends have ever done for you?
- Have you ever cheated on a friend?
- Did you find girlfriends through the Internet, did you meet later?
- Are you jealous of others?
- Why do you need a girlfriend?
Questions for a friend
- Do you believe in female friendship?
- Would you tell me if you liked my boyfriend/husband?
- Do you have strange habits?
- What's the nicest gift your friend ever gave you?
- How do you feel about the close relationship between two women?
- Do you mind being friends with a group, or do you prefer to communicate alone?
- If I were a man, would you be interested in me?
- Have you ever had to forgive a friend? Did you regret it later?
What will be written on your tombstone?
Psychologists also give this question to a person in order to get to know him better. But remember that for many it is very personal and unacceptable, so it is worth asking it to those whose reaction will be adequate.
What will the answer give you? You will understand what a person strives for, what he wants to leave behind. What he wants to be remembered by his loved ones, what is his life’s work.
What are 36 questions?
All questions are divided into three groups, and each subsequent stage “digs” deeper into a person’s consciousness so that you can understand and recognize his motives and emotions. The last stage is silence between the interlocutors for 4 minutes, when each of them evaluates the person opposite him and comes to a final conclusion.
It is worth noting that many questions at first glance seem banal and funny, but sometimes it is in such little things that a person and his real personality are hidden. For example, the very first question of a unique questionnaire, “Who would you invite to dinner?” strongly resembles questions from children's questionnaires from distant childhood. However, such simple, fantastic information can tell something about a partner that he himself is not aware of.
When the technique was first developed, scientists decided to test its effect in reality. A focus group was assembled, and the result surprised the most prominent psychologists. After the experiment, half of the couples successfully got married and turned into happy families. The main conditions of the experiment were honesty towards the partner and preliminary agreement. That is, the participants themselves chose with whom to conduct the survey and gave honest answers to all questions. So hidden in 36 questions is the answer to how to find your soulmate in one interview.
What radically changed your life?
This is not just a question to get to know the person better. This is a way to take communication to a new level of trust.
In everyone’s life, at least one situation has happened, because of which the attitude towards familiar things has changed, a person looked at his surroundings with different eyes. He began to cherish something with all his heart, but something forever lost its value for him.
Such revaluation is preceded by a lot of psychological and emotional work on oneself. And these are always very personal experiences. If your interlocutor shares them with you from the bottom of his heart, it means that he completely trusts you.
Tell us about yourself - the most common personal question
When asked to tell about yourself, it is better to tell about your professional experience and your skills in the area where you plan to work. A long life story or stories about your turbulent youth are inappropriate here. Also, you should not list all your past employment and skills that are not related to your future job, as some HR managers may be sincerely convinced that you cannot be a professional in everything. In general, your motto is “Brief and to the point.” And only then, if the employer wants to clarify the state of other areas of your life, you can also succinctly clarify your marital status, plans for the future, various areas of activity where you have tried yourself.
What is your greatest strength?
A question, the answer to which can either significantly improve you in the eyes of the employer or ruin your impression. The best way to answer is to name a specific character trait of yours and give a small example of how it has significantly helped you in your professional activities.
- I always get things done: at my last job, no one believed that we could finish the project by the deadline, but I did.
- I love learning new things: in a couple of weeks I figured out new software.
- I quickly find a common language with people: I have significantly increased the level of sales by establishing friendly connections with clients.
If you have good recommendations from past employers, now is the time to show them, supporting your words with documents.
What is your biggest flaw?
Tricky question. Usually no one expects a frank answer to it. It is best to answer it by naming your positive side, which, with a slight stretch, can also be called negative. “I love my profession too much, so I can’t maintain the right balance between work and personal life,” “I’m used to keeping everything under control,” “I’m meticulous about the little things.” Such answers will help to simultaneously show your criticality of yourself and your ability to impress your interlocutor, which can be important for many employers.
Let us remind you once again that questions of a personal nature are intended to form the interlocutor’s understanding of your level of stress resistance. If you behave aggressively, the employer will be able to draw the necessary conclusions.
What do you do in your free time?
This question serves as an organic addition to the previous one. Creates a holistic picture of how your interlocutor organized his own life.
Interests, hobbies, favorite pastimes are great topics to get closer to your friend. More than likely, you'll find something you like equally as much. Hobbies tell a lot about a person’s character, his temperament, and preferred lifestyle.
What would you spend your big lottery winnings on?
Often we cannot realize our dreams just because it is financially difficult or practically impossible. This way you will find out where the money issue limits your friend.
Big money is also a serious test for each of us. Even if we manage them only in our thoughts. By telling what he would do with a big win, a person expresses his attitude towards money and reveals his true life goals. Would he quit his job or use the money to help those in need? Would you make your dream come true or put it off for the future? Or maybe your interlocutor would completely refuse a big win?
Lifestyle questions
Now that you've gotten over the awkwardness of the first meeting, you can try asking them a little more about their lifestyle.
You can start with their hobbies and interests, moving on to more serious topics such as stress management and even finances.
- What is your work/study schedule?
- Do you smoke?
- Can you cook?
- What do you like best? Live in an apartment in the center or in your own house, but outside the city?
- What do you usually eat for breakfast?
- At what age did you buy your first car?
- Do you participate in lotteries?
- Have you ever thought about starting your own business?
- …What type of business do you have in mind?
- What do you like best? Stay at home or walk outside?
- Sushi or pizza?
- Dogs or cats?
- Do you have a pet at home?
- Do you like trips out of town and walks in nature?
- Do you drink alcohol?
- Have you ever invested in stocks or do you prefer to keep your savings in the bank?
- What's the most expensive purchase you've made?
- Do you love shopping online?
- When was the last time you were hospitalized?
- Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- Do you like to buy branded items?
- Have you ever been on a diet?
- Do you like going to nightclubs/bars?
- Do you like swimming/going to the beach?
- Do you do any sports?
Do you have any favorite books? Which?
The love of reading itself tells a lot about a person. It is equally important what genres of books, what authors and literary heroes he likes. Why did he remember them, what was attractive in their words and thoughts? Why did this or that book become a reference book for this person?
When talking about their favorite books, people find something in common with each other, an inexhaustible topic for debate and reasoning.
What is love to you?
A question to ask the person you like. After all, the basis of all quarrels and omissions between lovers is that people can understand love in completely different ways. For some, these are romantic feelings, for others - bright emotions, for others, the word is associated only with serious relationships and family ties.
You will learn how a person expresses his love, what he expects in return from his loved ones. Which makes him feel loved.
What's your ideal day? What is the most awkward moment in life? How old do you feel? What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? What would you change as president? There is a whole sea of psychological questions to get to know a person better. Or rediscover a friend you've known for a long time.
Questions to get to know a person better
You've probably had situations when you wanted to get to know a person better, but didn't know what questions to ask him so as not to seem rude or incorrect. This ultimately led to awkwardness and missed opportunities. We've all been there: when we're interested in someone, it's not always clear how to break the ice. If you really want to get to know someone, you need to learn to ask the right questions. Regardless of whether it's a date or getting to know a work colleague, it's useful to have a few preparations ready.
Experienced communicators know that the right question at the right time can work wonders. It will help you start a conversation, get to know a person better, and achieve your goals. Asking questions is an important key to many effective communication techniques.
The questions collected below are quite powerful on their own. But how can you make the best use of this list? Here are some important tips that will help you not only start a conversation, but also successfully continue the conversation.
Adviсe
Don't ask one question after another . Let the conversation develop. Give your interlocutor enough time to answer the question. The point of the conversation is not how many questions you have time to ask.
Don't switch from one topic to another . Remind yourself that this is not an interview where you quickly switch between topics of conversation. Let the topic unfold naturally.
Show real interest . If you are truly interested in a given topic, your interlocutor will notice this.
Ask consistent questions . You can avoid moving on to other topics if you engage the other person with a question that flows smoothly from the other person's previous answer.
Emphasize . Don't talk about everything you know. The message you are trying to convey or the question you are trying to ask must be precise and concise.
Here are some good questions that will help you spark interesting conversations and allow you to form deep connections with those around you.
Questions
If you had a card that would get you out of court for a crime, what would it be?
This deep question will introduce you to the darker side of the other person. Interestingly, there is almost no person who will simply tell you that he will not use this card. When the interlocutor answers this question, there is an opportunity to talk about this topic for quite a long time. For example, why did he choose this particular crime?
What book or movie has influenced you the most?
Everyone has a book or movie that has significantly influenced them. By using this question you will get some very interesting insights into the personality of the person you are talking to. You will not only find out which genres he likes most, but also which work he distinguishes from the rest, which can already provide many topics for further conversation.
What would you give your life for?
Of course, you shouldn’t approach a stranger with this question, and certainly don’t ask it right away - he’s not particularly light-hearted. When using it, you should understand that you can either get a lot of interesting information about your interlocutor or alienate him by being branded an eccentric.
If you could be a character in a book or movie, what would it be?
This particular question will make your discussion partner think twice. And let's be honest, isn't it unpleasant to imagine that you could live in the imaginary world of your favorite book or movie?
At the same time, the answer to this question will tell you a lot about the personality of this person. In almost all cases, he will choose a character that is very similar to him - a person with whom he identifies.
If you could travel back in time, where would you go?
Admittedly, this is a very tricky question to ask whether a person has an interest in history. In this case, even a superficial answer can be developed.
If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be?
Talking about the past gets everyone hooked. Of course, there is a chance that the person will say that they wouldn’t want to change anything, but even in this case, you can use humor and ask something like: “What, would you even like to change your hairdresser?”
If you had a superpower, what would it be?
The question is not as stupid as it might seem. As a rule, people name such a superpower that they really lack in life. That is, the question has a very strong subtext.
The answer will help you draw a conclusion about the personality of the interlocutor. After all, is he going to use his power solely for selfish purposes, or is there something social in his desire?
Who was your hero growing up?
By asking this question you can learn a lot about a person's personality. Don't forget to ask a counter question about what his current hero is like.
What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?
There are people who would hide, and there are those who would fight. This simple question will help you move on to more informal communication and get to know your interlocutor. The chain of reasoning in this case can show how ready a person is for difficult non-standard tasks, how he thinks.
If you could live anywhere, what kind of place would it be?
There is a risk of running into banal answers (desert island, New York). But it is quite possible that you will receive a comprehensive answer. For example, you will understand that a person has wanted to move for a long time, but he can’t do it. This is an interesting topic for discussion.
Which comedy that you have watched do you think is the best?
Not only will this question help you get some good recommendations for your movie list, but it can also provide some great conversation starters and tell you whether or not the other person has a sense of humor.
Would you buy a one-way ticket to Mars?
Many people are interested in Mars and Musk today. Some say that all this is pointless, others argue that this is the most interesting and amazing adventure in the history of mankind.
If you had the chance, would you choose a different profession?
Asking a person where he works is boring. It is always much more interesting to talk about the topic “If…”. Half of the previous questions are based on this. People love speculation, especially about a better life.
Most likely, the person has a dream about a new profession, which he will talk about. And then you can ask other questions on the same topic.
What makes you truly happy?
Asking this question is a great way to make friends and other acquaintances. People usually talk about the little things first. They will tell you that listening to music or going out with their friends is what makes them happy. But once you start going deeper, you will find a lot of interesting things.
We wish you good luck!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- The best blog content in 2021: psychology
- Rudyard Kipling's Questions
- Black rhetoric. Part nine. About the types of questions
- How to be interesting and find contact with any person: advice from a practitioner
- Why ask questions?
- How to understand how a person feels
- Conversation Techniques
- The art of conversation
- Technique of asking questions
- Wait, what did you say?
Key words:1Profiling