How to get someone out of your head
One eastern parable tells about a young man who asked Khoja Nasreddin how to find out the future and become immortal. The sage replied: “It’s simple: don’t think about white monkeys!” "Only?" — the young man was delighted. But from then on he could think of nothing else but white monkeys.
Having given free rein to such thoughts, it is easy to “think of” obsessive-compulsive neurosis, when the help of a psychotherapist is required. Therefore, it is better to try to get rid of them at the initial stage, before they are yet entrenched in our head. But first you need to understand:
Stronger emotions
When you like a person, he becomes an object of admiration, thoughts about him take a lot of time, most emotional experiences are associated with the person of interest.
Stronger emotions can help get rid of all this. They may be related to building a new relationship, a new job, a vacation in an expensive hotel, or even a permanent move to another city. Anyone can find something like this without much difficulty.
New, stronger emotions will significantly speed up the process of “recovery” from an unhappy crush.
Ways to Overcome the Victim Mentality
You have driven yourself into a corner, you feel like a victim, poor and unhappy, you think a lot about him and believe that only he can solve all your issues and heal your emotional wounds.
Look in the mirror what these thoughts have turned you into, realize the enormous power that is inside and is capable of working miracles - just wish to be happy without him and everything will come true.
If it is difficult for someone to speak out, then you can start a personal diary where you can write down all your secret thoughts. Sometimes, in this way, much more can be said than in reality. And over time, you will re-read what is sore and will be able to draw objective conclusions.
You can practice meditation, sign up for yoga classes in order to collect your thoughts, free yourself mentally and physically, and take the path of truth. Forgive him for all the insults, if there are any, and let him go in peace, this will make you feel much better.
Pray, strengthen your connection with the Lord, put him first, look for ways to be a spiritually developed person, and do not worship people. This is to some extent even sinful.
Maintain social connections, communicate, don’t isolate yourself, love life in all its manifestations, give joy to each other and everything will be fine. Don't get stuck on a certain period of time in life and be happy!
Full load - stop thinking about your loved one
A great way to forget another person is to have a rhythm of life in which there is simply no time to think about an extraneous (not related to the pile of thoughts) subject. Most people will have the prospect of realizing their own plans and making previously unrealized dreams come true.
Editor's choice: How to become happy and loved
For example, take foreign language courses, join a gym, take a part-time job and save money for a trip or make this trip.
The best option in this case would be to choose actions that require the maximum level of concentration. An example of such activities would be extreme sports or dancing.
If you load yourself up so much that there is no time left for worries and abstract reasoning, then very soon there will simply be no place for the object of your sympathy in your life. Even when such a thought visits a restless head, these thoughts will no longer worry so much.
Chatting with friends also helps to get rid of unnecessary thoughts. The main thing is not to lose your temper and start discussing a nice person. Communicate, have fun and don’t think about those with whom you are not on the same path.
What really helps
Time
No matter how sad it may sound, but by nature you will have to live with this feeling for a certain period of time. You will still come up with incredible stories that “might” happen to you and your lover, you will wake up in joyful anticipation of a new day, you will dream of new love dreams. Well, God be with him, let this be. All the same, you cannot escape the crazy energy imparted by love.
Simply by encountering irresponsibility and coldness , your impulse will gradually begin to subside. This always happens: when moving to another city, when a loved one dies, when there is betrayal, etc. When the mind understands that nothing can be changed, it suppresses emotions drop by drop.
Of course, this can be called an axiom - and it is clear that time will heal deep wounds. The question is how to speed up this process, because sometimes it can take several years. In our case, there is only one answer - get rid of hope .
Deep down in your soul, you still want , you are still coming up with different options for developing relationships. Maybe this happens on a subconscious level, but nevertheless, the brain clings to this last thread. It is she who holds on to the remnants of feelings and creates mood swings; it is she who prevents one from freeing oneself from attachment. If you break it, then it will be much easier to forget the guy or girl, because, as we have already found out, the mind will not see prospects and will cool emotions. [adsense1] What exactly needs to be done to get rid of hope?
- First, we need to stop making up stories.
They only fan the fire of love and strengthen affection. Yes, we allowed them to be, but only because a complete ban causes temptation. Try not to think about the polar bear for 1 minute - that’s all you’ll think about (See the Wegner effect on Wikipedia). - Secondly, you should perceive a person as... a person. He's just an acquaintance with whom you had a surge of hormones. Then life went out of its usual direction, and now it’s time for it to return to its place.
- Thirdly, you need to stop following your loved one for now. We will talk about this in more detail below.
Let's stop a little and record the result. So, the first thing we need is to throw all the “life jackets” off the relationship ship. This way the process will go faster and it will become easier not to think about your lover.
Good but not enough. What else helps not in words, but in deeds?
Destroying reminders
There is nothing surprising in the fact that you constantly monitor a person. You just need a new dose: you want to see, touch, hear a voice, etc. This arouses passion and gives energy, which cannot but please the body. It turns out to be a kind of emotional dependence .
You need to get rid of emotional addiction like any other. There is nothing good in it - you only tickle your nerves and intensify obsessive thoughts. And from here comes melancholy and a depressed state. [adsense1] Therefore, you need to minimize tempting factors , such as photographs, correspondence, contacts and “random” meetings. Why do you need films about love, sloppy music, conversations with girlfriends or friends? Why would you hold on to the past and miss it? A new period of life opens before you, in which there is no place for distracting feelings.
Nobody, of course, says that closing oneself from the past will be easy. You will have to endure, you will have to use willpower. But I can personally say from experience that it brings results. You give oxygen to your thinking, distracting it from “pink” thoughts, which allows you to focus on more important things. You gradually switch and wean yourself from the mental presence of a person. And the less a person is in your thoughts, the easier it is to get rid of attachment.
Once you use this method sufficiently, you will reach a new level of relationship. You will awaken coldness, confidence and most importantly...
Pride
Why should I depend on the mood of another, why am I so weak that I signed up as a fan? These are the questions you will ask yourself after a certain period of time. You will have an inner core, your own mood, regardless of the person’s disposition. You will understand that by constant peeping you were only wasting your time, which could have gone to useful work.
Why not speed up awareness of these important things? Try to think about this with a sober mind . Put all your feelings aside and be angry with yourself first. I understand that not everyone will be able to do this now, but this way of thinking helps to quickly discard interfering emotions. If you can’t, don’t, it means that the attachment is still strong enough. However, remember that it is only a matter of time before your self-sufficiency increases .
“Correct” thoughts about a person
Those thoughts about a person who evokes sympathy also mean a lot. You can try to look at it objectively. Psychology claims that when we fall in love, we tend to endow the person we like with exclusively positive qualities, while all people also have negative qualities.
Editor's choice: How to live beautifully and happily - how to achieve such a combination in your life
To get rid of rose-colored glasses, you need to impartially evaluate both the pros and cons of your object of adoration.
You can also listen to this advice: imagine a real future with this person. Thoughts about the future should not be in a romantic direction, but about everyday life: work, everyday life, a car, going to the store. Dreams may be intangible, but their mandatory condition is the absence of romance.
Why do you think about a man, and why is it stressful?
I'm looking for 5 girls, addicted to a man, who want to dot the I's and let go of the relationship
Are you worried about your relationship...
All your thoughts are only about a man and you can’t even sleep...
Are you tired of all this and want to move on...
If you recognize yourself, sign up for a diagnostic consultation with a psychologist
