How NOT to THINK about a MAN

When women are faced with love addiction, most of all they want to know how to stop thinking about a man. Thoughts about your lover deprive you of sleep, vitality and motivation to do anything. Finding spiritual harmony requires a lot of strength and patience. The main thing is that you should not delay the “treatment” of a love illness.

Codependency

Love addiction is a dangerous emotional fixation that not only poisons life, but also harms health. Despite the fact that doctors do not consider codependency a pathology, such addiction can lead to obsessive states. To get rid of a depressing illness, it is necessary to diagnose its presence in time. Only after realizing the problem will you be able to effectively use information on how not to think about the man you love.

The more you think, the less you think

A paradoxical way to get rid of thoughts is to force yourself to think about a man more and more, just screw yourself up with thoughts so that images only about him come out of all the cracks. You need to get over it, get enough of it.

This is the example of my sister, who as a child loved strawberries very much, and at the age of 15 she ate a lot of them, to the point of nausea. Since then she has been indifferent to strawberries. Here the meaning is the same, we just need to let our psyche get over it, experience it, and re-realize all the thought processes aimed at a man.

But don’t think badly of a man; there is no need to attribute something that is not in him. The goal should simply be thought stronger and more consciously, and not overshadowed by bad thoughts about it. This way you will harm yourself even more, but we love ourselves, so let’s treat ourselves the same way.

✅Guide to changing yourself .pdf

Why you can’t forget your ex: a psychologist’s answer

Psychologists give several reasons why the ex-partner is not forgotten, even though enough time has passed since the breakup. Even the endless spy visits to his pages on social networks are quite understandable.

It is interesting that not a single reason has anything to do with feelings.

The Unreacted Need of Fritz Perls. This is when the future with her beloved has already formed in a woman’s head into a beautiful picture with a house, children and a dog. Psychologist's advice: precisely formulate your need and discard it. Then replace it with a realistic desire. You cannot run ahead of the locomotive and demand from a man what he does not agree to.
For a woman, the relationship with her lover is the center of the universe. Parting for her is the collapse of their little world. It will seem to her that resuming the relationship is her only way to become happy. Psychologist's advice: do not put a man first. Harmony is achieved only if the partners are equal.
Unfinished gestalt. When the final point is not made, there is a moment of understatement, unresolved contradictions. Psychologist's advice: if possible, talk and find out everything that is tormenting you. If this is not possible, then try writing unsendable letters to your ex-partner, just to talk it out, at least on paper.
Comfort zone. It’s very difficult to give up an established life and mutual friends. There is a constant desire to return to the usual stability. Psychologist's advice: get out of your comfort zone. Only beyond its borders is it possible to develop relationships. Perhaps the people who were once close to them have ceased to be so.
Emotional dependence. This is not love, although it is often confused. An addict will never be ready to let go of his partner; he will do ugly things to keep him. Psychologist's advice: incorrect relationships with parents are projected onto a man. You can get rid of them by recognizing the childhood problem.
Difficulties with a new partner. When there is no confidence in a new lover or not everything is good in this relationship, they always remember their exes. Psychologist's advice: look for problems in the present, not the former man.

Main danger

How old are you? Do you want to live longer and younger, full of energy in your body? You need to learn how to quickly change your thinking from negative to positive. Negative thoughts pump all the juices out of us and the stronger the negativity, the faster we become empty. I used to envy people who were not susceptible to negativity, I considered this a genetic feature of a person.

But delving into myself, I realized that negative thoughts are just our life experience, the environment taught us to think this way. Parents, relatives, the media, we absorbed all this since childhood. It’s good that there are tools to clear your negative emotions forever and acquire positive emotional states in their place, which will bring happiness and love into your life.

Exercise

Sit more comfortably or lie down on the bed, the main thing is not to fall asleep, relax all parts of the body in turn, just thinking about them and imagining how they relax from your attention. Relax your head, face, tongue. You should be completely relaxed, like a bag, but your head collected and clear.

Read more: How to start enjoying life?

Start imagining the man you are thinking about, just imagine, let your thoughts themselves lead you wherever they want, they will show everything that is important to know. Just watch what is happening like on TV, don’t make any efforts to direct the process, there’s no point.

Speak deep into yourself - “I take full responsibility for my thoughts, words and actions.” Strengthen your thought process, start thinking harder, eat it like my sister did with strawberries to the point of nausea, as described above. And I repeat once again, the more you think, the less you want.

Repeat this exercise as much as possible, if you are not a lazy person, then 2-3 days will be enough to extinguish the emotions in your heart and find peace and comfort in your soul.

Reasons why you need to forget a man

It's not easy to forget about your ex-partner. It’s best to start by understanding the reasons why relationships or communication are not worth your time:

READ

How to support a friend who broke up with her boyfriend: methods and nuances

Unrequited feelings.
Constant quarrels. If you can’t build a harmonious, comfortable connection, it may be a dead end. But the emotional swing is addictive. Both sides are plunged into depressing introspection. Without such psychological shocks, it becomes unusual, empty and even boring. Thanks to pop culture's romanticization of aggressive couples communicating, many people take this model for granted. One day, partners get tired of instability. There is a feeling of wasted years.
Partner's nagging, especially regular complaints about skills in bed and appearance. Bullying is not a concern. If a guy enjoys his own criticism, it is better to think about breaking up.
Sexual pressure. Only selfish people torture their partners with unpleasant sexual practices to please themselves. It is better to part with a young man who threatens to break up in this situation.
Cooled down feelings. It is important that attempts to save the union do not take years.
Treason. If there was more than one, then betrayals will be regular. You can accept it or leave to look for your person.
Abuse. The chosen one manipulates, devalues his partner’s emotions, and deliberately confuses her. He belittles the girl’s dignity, sets conditions, threatens or begs for forgiveness with empty promises. Moral discomfort and complexes are unacceptable in love. All of the above is called “psychological violence.”
Physical violence (including beatings, rape). It is important to take into account the technique that most rapists use: declarations of love, beautiful gestures, pleas for forgiveness after the crime. Many crimes were committed in this way. You need to go to the police.

Rarely does one reason dominate. There are positive and repulsive sides that are difficult to understand. You can make lists of pros and cons, but this does not apply to violence. Psychological violence is often devalued, because it can be pleasant to be with an abuser.

It should be taken into account: if you are planning a family, then the children will feel the same persecution. The psychology of the rapist is based on complexes, immaturity, and the desire to assert himself. There are almost no cases when such partners changed.

Why do you need it?

There is an old proven method: take a sheet of paper and write in a column the positive and negative qualities of a man. Describe everything honestly, how a judge at a meeting cannot decide according to his heart, he needs evidence and proof, so you too be honest with yourself.

What happens is that if there are more minuses, then everything is obvious and your psyche will soon decide to give up thoughts about a man and go over to the side of “Good”, doing everything good for you.

If there are more advantages, then try to think, do other people have all these qualities? Is it possible to meet an even better person with the same characteristics? I understand perfectly well that you cannot order your heart, but you can re-realize all this and make a decision in favor of your emotional peace.

Why you should wait to get into a new relationship

An erudite and cheerful girl will find a match. It is better to allow yourself temporary loneliness, calling it a “relationship with yourself.” You need to be carried away by yourself, get to know yourself, listen as if you were a dearly beloved creature. Your “I” will one day appreciate the care. Improvement and relaxation will have a positive effect on your appearance and health. Unexpected goals will appear, life will become an adventure.

Women who tried to fill the void with a new man returned to their ex after years, and sometimes decades, again disappointed and convinced that they separated justifiably. Pain takes time.

It is necessary to release the pain, rest, and be moderately active. The main mistake is to hide suffering, to try to drown it out with a new guy.