How to find your love at 30 - 40 years old? 5 working methods

Love, mutual understanding, a strong family - this is what most people dream of. But how to find your soulmate? It can be difficult. Often people just sit and wait for love to find them. Take the initiative into your own hands - and happiness will not keep you waiting!

If you don't know where to find love, then a dating site is the most obvious answer to this question. Find your love...

Communication on online dating services helps to gain self-confidence and improve communication skills. Start communication...

Dating via the Internet is a great way out for shy people, because it is much easier to start communicating online than in person. Get acquainted with the online dating service...

Creating an interesting profile on a dating site will help attract the attention of other users, as well as significantly increase the chance of finding a person with similar interests and tastes. Create a profile...

A well-thought-out auto-search system on online dating services allows you to select a match for each user based on common interests, profession, religion, nationality and other important parameters. Pick a pair...

Dating via the Internet is the most accessible and easiest way to find a soul mate. Start dating...

The Internet significantly expands the boundaries of dating. It's easy to find someone to talk to even from a different time zone. Find someone to talk to...

For business people, dating sites are one of the ways to expand their social circle and meet interesting people, and perhaps find love. Find a couple by profession...

If you don't know where to find love, then a dating site is the most obvious answer to this question. Find your love...

Love. What it is?

Love can be different: for parents, for children, for work, for hobbies, for God, etc. But love between a man and a woman becomes a separate important part in our lives.

Such love has three important components:

  1. Passion is the attraction of two bodies and sexual desire;
  2. Intimacy is the closeness of two souls and friendship;
  3. Responsibility is a manifestation of caring for a loved one.

In a harmonious relationship, all three components of love are present.

As a rule, most relationships begin with passion. A person is attractive in appearance, the desire for intimacy takes over, and this becomes the motivation for entering into a relationship. If sex does not happen between partners soon, then passion will gradually give way to interest in the person’s personality. Friendship, trust and respect will arise, and, under favorable circumstances, a desire to take responsibility for each other.

Male psychology

Every girl probably asked herself the question of whether there is one love for a lifetime, given the natural practicality and down-to-earthness of men who are not always able to express feelings.

In fact, a man can love one woman his entire life. The only question is to find a person who is looking for love and is able to maintain consistency.

Male psychology in love and relationships differs from female psychology in that a representative of the stronger sex is able to withdraw into himself in the event of a quarrel. Therefore, it is important for a woman to be able to find an approach to her partner without pushing him away.

A feature of the male psyche also includes the ability to switch to the appearance of a pretty girl, her form, but this is only a temporary phenomenon that does not cancel true feelings. If he used physical force against a woman, you should not believe all his persuasion: such a man will repeat the humiliating action more than once.

A lover will emphasize the advantages and disadvantages of his other half, while a “flawed” one will only look for shortcomings in her and her relatives, while understanding that there are no ideal people. A loving person will do everything to share responsibilities, take part in any events in his partner’s life, and will not avoid activities that are not entirely familiar to him.

Even if a man is silent, on a subconscious level he compares and draws up a holistic picture about his partner: how she endures conflicts, how she spends time with him. The outlook and values ​​of his beloved should not remain familiar to him. For a relationship to last, a man needs to feel admiration and interest in his woman.

Who do you usually like?

Many people, trying to find the love of their life, begin to wonder why some are loved, but not me. Sometimes a beautiful, smart girl is lonely, and her ugly friend is married to a loving man who carries her in his arms and generously gives her gifts. Why is that?

Of course, appearance and self-improvement are important, but they still love those people who are able to remain themselves, be sincere, show weakness and open their souls to another person. As a rule, such people know and accept their shortcomings, and therefore are more lenient towards their partner’s shortcomings.

How to become an attractive and feminine girl for men

How to find your soulmate - advice from professionals

More actions

“Love will come unexpectedly”, “yours will come to you”, “the right people will come into your life” and blah blah blah. It’s so comfortable to live when you believe in a caring fate and don’t do a damn thing.

Pepper Schwartz is a relationship expert and professor of sociology at the University of Washington. And she does not share such an irresponsible approach to her own personal life. “There is a well-known statement that you will find a job when you least expect it. Well, this really happens. But very rarely. Most people who believe this end up unemployed. In my opinion, this is a convenient excuse for fear of leaving the house and making efforts to achieve a goal. Yes, anything can happen. But this strategy is by no means the best,” Pepper gives her verdict.

Stop waiting for gifts from fate. Take action. But let's do without desperation and fierce attempts to start a relationship with the first one who comes to hand.

Why doesn't love come?

There may be many reasons why you are still single. Perhaps your time just hasn't come yet. But more often the reasons are much more prosaic:

  • Many people come up with some image of an ideal partner and stubbornly wait for such a person to knock on their door. All candidates who differ in any way from the portrait drawn up are immediately rejected and not even considered;
  • Excessive amorousness. A person falls in love very often and sees in almost any member of the opposite sex attractive qualities and a partner who can give happiness for life;
  • Self-dislike;
  • Sullenness and despondency;
  • Homebody;
  • Sad experience of the past.

One way or another, only you can honestly answer the question of why you are still single.

Read: How to attract a man's attention

What does compatibility depend on?

The duration of a successful relationship depends on compatibility, which concerns both the individual inclinations of each person and the ability to find harmony in difficulties.

Maintaining interest and admiration for a person at the proper level depends on the extent to which the partner’s needs are understood and alternative ways of interacting with him are found, which is protection against betrayal.

Zodiac compatibility plays an important role in whether partners stay together. But it would be a mistake to look for justifications for one’s behavior in astrological characteristics, because a person comes into the world to improve himself.

How to find true love?

We learned what love is, but how to find your love? Lonely hearts often ask this question.

  1. Get rid of the past . If you are not reading this article with the goal of learning how to find your first love, then you have probably already been in a relationship that ended in separation and still reminds you of it. Don’t live in the past, try to work through the grievances you’ve received as much as possible, if necessary, consult a psychologist, or at least don’t scroll through pictures from your past relationships in your head. Read: How to forget your ex and start a new life
  2. Love yourself and believe that you are worthy of love . If you don’t love yourself and don’t believe that there is something to love you for, then how will a stranger love you? Read: How to become a confident woman
  3. Focus less on finding love . Tension and an always “hungry” searching gaze will scare away anyone. Try to relax and be as natural as possible.
  4. Watch your appearance . Yes, a beautiful soul is wonderful, but the first thing we pay attention to is appearance, and if it is not neat, unkempt and unattractive, then it is unlikely that further acquaintance will take place. In addition, it is very important that you like the reflection in the mirror, and that your body is fit and healthy. Read: How to become an ideal girlfriend and wife
  5. Keep a positive attitude . Laugh more, smile and enjoy life. Sunny, friendly people are much more attractive than gray masses.
  6. Go out more often and expand your social circle . Whenever possible, leave the house, attend interesting events, travel, meet and communicate with like-minded people. Sitting at home within four walls, you are unlikely to meet your love.
  7. Make a detailed portrait of your lover . Describe what qualities he should have, what hobbies and interests he has, how much he earns, etc. Avoid excessive details such as height, weight and eye color.
  8. Try to develop in yourself the qualities that you want to see in your partner . Like attracts like, so if you want to meet a positive, generous person, cultivate cheerfulness and generosity.
  9. Be picky . Don’t throw your arms around the first person you meet, and certainly don’t go to bed with him.
  10. Don't reject people . This is the main mistake of many singles! Try to be tolerant of the shortcomings of others, go on dates with many people you know, let people open up and get to know you better. You may not like your person at first sight.
  11. Don't rush things. Everything has its time . Rushing in a relationship only brings disappointment.
  12. Take a closer look at your surroundings . Maybe your childhood friend has had his eye on you for a long time.
  13. Connect with like-minded people . Common interests are an integral part of a happy relationship.
  14. Stop communicating with married people . You can build a happy relationship with a person only when he has already left a previous relationship. Otherwise, everything will end badly for all participants.
  15. Expand your range of interests . Learn and develop, master new hobbies. As your interests expand, your circle of acquaintances will also grow.
  16. Avoid romance at work . Having affairs in the workplace interferes with both work and relationships. Both partners always feel tense and cannot disconnect from work, continuing to discuss work issues even at home. Such relationships very often fall apart.
  17. Register on a dating site . A dating site has long become a common way to meet people and find your other half. Many people meet through social networks. These are good ways to evaluate a candidate’s appearance from a photo, find out his interests and communicate in virtual reality before meeting in person. However, it is very important to be careful on the Internet, because the risk of bumping into a frivolous candidate craving carnal pleasures is very high.

Several opinions about feelings

Everyone will probably answer in their own way about whether love lasts a lifetime, taking into account their own experience. According to one version, a person has not just one soul mate, but several who accompany us at various stages of life in order to teach us something and provide the necessary experience for development. According to people who have experienced such meetings, communication with “their person” is unforgettable and filled with strong emotions.

Not everyone distinguishes between passion, infatuation and love, which is why they tend to think that love is short-lived. And since people are fixated on the primitive and accessible form of love - passion, the attraction of opposites - its other, higher forms are not revealed to them. Whether love will last a lifetime depends on how seriously both partners work on their relationship.

Or maybe the whole point is to be able to manage your feelings, which are revealed after the perfect choice in favor of this or that person? After all, everyone can create a fairy tale out of relationships. The lack of emotions is initially compensated by skillfully directed attention, and then, with the advent of complete mutual understanding, feelings also mature.

Where to find love?

You can meet love anywhere: in a subway car, on the street, in line at the cash register, at a social event.

Of course, you can meet a girl or guy in a nightclub or bar. Today you can increasingly hear stories of fateful meetings in these very places, although 20 years ago this seemed absurd.

It’s better for girls to go somewhere alone more often, without friends. In this case, the likelihood that a man who likes you will approach you doubles. Young people are very vulnerable and afraid of being rejected, so the presence of a girlfriend can scare them away. Smile at men to show your friendliness.

Men are advised to be bolder, actively show their sense of humor, ingenuity and resourcefulness - girls love this.

Don’t forget that the other half can also be found on the Internet.

Advice for women

Finally, some practical advice from psychologists:

  • In order for a man to feel important and needed, it is necessary to allow him to feel responsible for his beloved. Ask him for all kinds of help: moral, material, friendly.
  • At first, with the appropriate behavior of a woman, fear of losing her, and then respect, fulfill their important function: a man strives for his partner, and he does not have time to look around, searching for “new prey.” In marriage, it is important to learn to maintain this delicate balance between partners.
  • Men's actions mean more than words. Therefore, women should build a relationship strategy based on facts, not what is said.
  • A man needs warmth and affection no less than a woman. You just need to observe moderation in giving pleasant emotions.
  • To understand the truth of a man’s feelings, you should pay attention to his manner of sorting things out. If he is afraid to break them, this means that he values ​​his woman. Meeting his friends and parents, on the initiative of a man, will confirm this.
  • You should not compete with a man, since due to his natural instincts, he has a desire for leadership. And the intention to surpass it will give rise to a spirit of competition.

Opposites are dangerous8

Opposites attract. But the relationship between these opposites can be very complex and debilitating.

“People who have a lot in common have an easier time building healthy, strong relationships,” says Dr. Gail Seiltz, a psychiatrist in New York City. The easier it is for you to communicate with each other, the less likely conflicts will arise.

Personal time6

“After a divorce or separation, it's important to spend some time alone,” says Nicole Baras Feuer, divorce specialist and coach at Start Over Smart in Westport, Connecticut.

“You will be in great shape, you just need to give yourself time to heal from a painful breakup. Reflect on what went wrong. You also need time to rediscover yourself. Otherwise, there is a high risk of repeating past mistakes,” warns Nicole.


“You can have fun with anyone as long as you take precautions and practice safe sex. But remember that every person you let into your life, into your home and into your wallet, brings with them some baggage,” reminds Tessina.

At the initial stage of a relationship, we try to look better than we really are. The real picture begins to emerge a little later. Remember this. Take off your rose-colored glasses before things go too far.

Look around3

Cool guys and girls pass by you every day, but you don't even notice it. You've got your eyes fixed on your smartphone! Bela Gandhi is the founder of the Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. And she is simply amazed by the illogical behavior of the guys and girls who approach her. They complain about loneliness and the inability to find their soul mate, but at the same time they spend most of their time with their heads buried in their devices.

Doing this at a party where you might meet someone is not at all forgivable! Look around. Hold your gaze on the person you like and smile. This is a kind of signal that you are ready to meet.

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