Scientific answer: Why does love happen between girls?

Why do women love women? Love between women has become a fairly common phenomenon and no longer causes much condemnation, although it still makes many people think about such a choice. The phenomenon of lesbianism cannot be considered a tribute to fashion, since it has always existed, now the veil of mystery and censure is only falling away. In the same way, attitudes towards women have changed, starting from gaining the right to significant career growth. All this influences and transforms interpersonal and intimate relationships, in which men increasingly take a driven and passive position. It starts with the active desire of women to get married, but that is not the goal. Every woman wants and seeks love and understanding, and if she cannot get it using the usual standard method, then her search takes on new horizons. The search for tenderness and romance can contribute to this. After all, it is much easier to build a relationship with a person who wants such a pastime than to constantly nag a man and be offended by rudeness or lack of understanding of the candles and roses on the table.

There is also the concept of innate homosexuality and now it is no longer condemned, and accordingly, many women, instead of suppressing their true desires and doomed life with a man, can afford to be in a comfortable relationship with a woman. In many ways, this is a balanced decision aimed at revealing one’s personal nature, as well as caring for other people. In this aspect, an established married couple is no different from a heterosexual one, since what is important for building relationships is not gender and the combination of gender characteristics, but the ability of people to hear the other and build relationships. But there are cases when women choose women after numerous traumas received in relationships with men. With such a development of events, negative consequences, ruined destinies and retraumatization are likely, since the choice of female relationships is not a continuation of the personality itself, but rather an escape from reality. Unhealed traumas will always surface in new interactions, no matter who is involved.

Choosing any orientation is not a deviation or violation, unless the behavior is a consequence of a traumatic experience. Initially, all people are bisexual and each personality contains both feminine and masculine traits that require implementation to the same extent.

Is it possible to determine if a girl is in love?

Falling in love is a positive feeling or set of feelings towards a certain person, which arises uncontrollably and unconsciously. Many psychologists claim that the stages of falling in love in young girls and boys are similar to the symptoms of addiction. At first, interest develops into a habit, which later becomes an addiction.

If men know how to hide their emotions, female nature is designed in such a way that all emotions lie on the surface. You can determine if a girl is in love by the following signs:

  • behavior and manner of speech;
  • sight;
  • changes in appearance;
  • change of mood.

Note! Different zodiac signs show feelings in their own way.
Aries, Scorpios and Cancers fall in love easily and calmly, and do not show all their emotions at once. Virgos, Aquarius and Pisces tend to be calm in life and in relationships. Capricorns, Sagittarius and Scorpios behave secretly and fall in love cautiously. Taurus, Leo and Gemini fall in love abruptly, their behavior completely betrays them.

Positive aspects of same-sex relationships

The advantages of love between women include the following:

  1. Understanding. Girls always understand each other better because their psychology is the same. In this, men are far behind, since their views on a given situation can differ greatly from women’s.
  2. Support. A woman knows how to support like no other. After all, representatives of the fair sex are more sensitive, they know how to show compassion and give practical advice in any situation, which cannot be said about guys.
  3. Common interests. If girls have common hobbies, then this attracts them even more to each other. Young ladies are more likely to find a like-minded woman among the same sex. But men's and women's interests do not always coincide.
  4. Confidence. This is the most important thing in a relationship. Women are more focused on being faithful, because they are not polygamous like men.
  5. Intimate Girls know what exactly can bring them the highest pleasure in sex, so it is easier to achieve mutual satisfaction.

There are quite a lot of positive aspects, but not all women decide to open their same-sex relationships to the world.

Behavior of a girl in love

How to understand that a man likes you - looks, gestures and other signs

The human brain is conventionally divided into parts, each of which has its own purpose. Among them is the amygdala segment, which is responsible for the production of emotions. In women it is larger, which means they are more emotional beings. The behavior of a girl in love changes, the feeling of joy gives way to melancholy and vice versa.

Pensive girl

How a girl in love behaves, features:

  • Within an hour, the mood changes from good to bad. Changes are considered normal; the mood can be lifted by thoughts about the object of sympathy, after visual and verbal contact. It can also easily deteriorate if the object does not make contact;
  • When communicating with a man she likes or mentioning him, a woman’s speech becomes indecisive, emotions and words are confused. The girl may be embarrassed, trying unsuccessfully to hide her emotions;
  • If the awkwardness can be overcome, she will listen carefully to the young man’s stories, clarify, and show her interest. She will react positively to any joke, even a not very successful one;
  • Trying to show concern. Every woman has maternal instincts at a subconscious level. When there is an object of sympathy, the fair sex unconsciously tries to show concern, suggest and help;
  • Shows signs of attention. She may want to treat her man to baked goods or give him a gift without any particular reason;
  • Having fallen in love, the opposite sex easily fights bad habits and changes themselves. A girl can start playing sports and lose weight for the sake of a man’s attention;
  • Begins to be jealous for no reason, even if he is not in a relationship. A girl in love is jealous not only of the opposite sex, but also of the guy’s friends if he spends more free time with them;
  • From jealousy comes a sense of ownership. The fair sex is afraid that a man might switch to another person and tries with all his might to “tie” him to himself, to “fill” all his free time with himself.

Note! The opposite sex should not be allowed to use a woman’s kindness and manipulate.
If the relationship is not mutual, the girl’s desire to help may go beyond the bounds of reason. For example, a young girl while studying is ready to share notes and help on an exam just so that a guy will pay attention to her. If a young man takes advantage of this, only takes and gives nothing, the relationship is doomed to failure.


Kissing has many social functions, but from a technical and biological perspective, humans use kissing as a way to quickly weed out unsuitable partners. In almost 66% of cases, women stop experiencing attraction after the first kiss.

Women prefer the smells of partners whose major histocompatibility complex (immune system) genes are different from their own. So they unconsciously test partners to find a partner who can produce offspring with the strongest immune system. Although lesbians cannot yet produce genetic offspring, there is no reason to believe that they are not testing the genetic compatibility of their partners through kissing and smelling.


How a man who truly loves behaves - the psychology of falling in love

Not every girl in love will be able to approach the guy she likes and directly say about her feelings, but she will hint and give signals in every possible way. A look is the main signal that will say more than words. The eyes do not deceive you; it is difficult to hide your interest in them.

Loving look

The look of a woman in love is easy to recognize, how to check:

  • A woman will look at a man she likes for at least 6 seconds in a row without looking away;
  • the girl will “follow” the object of sympathy with her gaze, try to catch every movement;
  • when a girl meets the eyes of a guy she likes, she looks away and hides her interest in every possible way;
  • dilated pupils, at this moment adrenaline is produced in the blood, which causes the pupils to involuntarily dilate;
  • the loving gaze of a young girl can be intrusive, it is difficult for her to control her emotions, she may simply not notice how intently she is looking at the young man.


What has been broadcast recently on TV, as well as in various online communities, is nothing more than indirect propaganda of lesbian relationships. Show business celebrities openly demonstrate their sexual orientation, showing how fashionable and modern it is, and in some countries rallies of LGBT activists are held.

Provocations of this kind have no effect on the seasoned minds of mature, established individuals. Mostly young girls and teenagers with fragile psyches fall under the influence of propaganda. Then a woman’s love for another woman develops under the influence of external suggestion, and it is dominated to a greater extent by playing for the public. Freshman and high school girls are often not aware of their actions; this kind of relationship ends at a more mature age - before the age of 20.

Changes in appearance

Emotional burnout - what it is and how it is related to stress, signs

If a woman is in love, her image changes, she tries to look better - these are the main signs. The appearance of a girl in love changes due to internal changes: a sparkle appears in the eyes, a pleasant smile, facial features become softer. A woman in love often has her head in the clouds, her muscles relax, and her face becomes friendly.

A girl can change her clothing style and wear dresses more often, even if she previously preferred jeans. Suddenly you may have a desire to change your hairstyle or hair color, or do makeup. All this in order to win the attention of the object of sympathy.

Girl putting on makeup

In the presence of a man, the fair sex wants to look perfect, sometimes this goes beyond the bounds of reason. She can go overboard with cosmetics and jewelry, and wear high-heeled shoes where this is not appropriate.

Note! Often girls in love attract the attention of not only the object of their affection, but also other men. The lover radiates warmth, her movements become light, one gets the impression that she loves everything around her. It is this state that attracts the opposite sex; another man may like her.

Man's Desire

Passion, a woman's love for a woman, can be caused by the desire of the husband/regular male sexual partner to try a threesome. It has been proven that some men are especially turned on by lesbian play, and many of them would like to make such fantasies a reality. It is worth noting that women easily agree to such experiments, without resisting such strange dreams. They are motivated mainly by the fear of losing their lover, jealousy, curiosity and the desire to satisfy their partner. However, such a one-time relationship can develop into a new relationship, where the man becomes the third wheel.

Other nonverbal cues

It is unusual for the fair sex to express their emotions in direct text; they are more likely to use the language of gestures and hints. A girl does not confess her love before a man because she is afraid of being rejected.

In addition to looks, appearance and speech, there are other signs of a girl’s love:

  • Access to personal space. The fair sex keeps a distance from an unfamiliar or unpleasant person and will not let them get close. If a lady does not mind intrusion into her personal zone, she is attracted to the young man. A girl in love allows you to touch her hands, hair, reciprocates hugs;
  • Attempts to touch. Women themselves will look for an opportunity to touch the object of sympathy, hold his hand, and will sit next to him everywhere. During a conversation, they can put their hand on his shoulder, straighten his hair or his shirt collar;
  • Coquetry and flirting. They manifest themselves not only in words, but also in movements. A woman may involuntarily begin to straighten her hair, twirl a curl around her finger, or move her leg. Facial expressions become more animated, a smile and a flirtatious glance appear;
  • Attempts to copy behavior. In childhood, a child copies the behavior and manner of speech of his favorite cartoon characters; this habit takes root and persists into a conscious age. A girl may not notice how she repeats the gestures, manner of speech and facial expressions of the man with whom she is in love;
  • Interest in social networks. In the age of computer technology, you can maintain contact with anyone around the clock. The girl will take advantage of this opportunity, will always look for a reason to write to him, will quickly respond to messages, and will appreciate all his photos.

It is worth paying attention to how the girl sits in company. The torso will be turned towards the person she likes. If a girl crosses her legs, the toe will be directed towards the object of her sympathy.


Same-sex relationships among beautiful ladies can develop on their own, regardless of the person’s age and previous sexual orientation. There are cases when, before meeting a new partner, a girl had a fairly strong love relationship with a man, but after that she preferred love between women.

In addition to the most inexplicable emergence of passion for a person of the same sex, the construction of such relationships can be provoked by social factors, upbringing, environment, LGBT propaganda, as well as negative experiences with a member of the opposite sex.

Stages of falling in love in girls

The feeling of sympathy arises unexpectedly; it is impossible to plan it, just as it is impossible to plan sincere joy and sadness. Chemistry, magic, instinct - all this speaks of the feeling of falling in love. The stages of this feeling in women and girls can be divided into 3 stages:

  1. Flash. The sudden feeling is still incomprehensible and causes many emotions that contradict each other;
  2. Awareness. The girl begins to understand her feelings and shows sympathy;
  3. Euphoria in the event of a response, developing into addiction. I want to devote all my free time to my chosen one. If the feelings are not reciprocated, depression and loss of energy may develop.

Couple in love

Falling in love does not pass without a trace; it is one of the components of a relationship. There are 7 stages of their development:

  1. Love. At this stage, the fair sex is fascinated by attention and time spent together. The stage is dangerous because the ability to think rationally is lost. A woman has a desire to see only the good in her chosen one; she does not want to understand his shortcomings. Psychologists say that lovers do not really know each other, they see the one they want;
  2. Becoming. Romance turns into everyday life, prudence returns, and the girl begins to evaluate her partner. At this stage, many couples become oversaturated with each other's attention and break up. Those whose relationships survive form a couple;
  3. Negation. A testing stage that not all couples go through. The advantages are no longer so noticeable, the girl begins to learn about the shortcomings of her chosen one. She tries to change his behavior and habits, but in response she receives resistance. You can’t do without quarrels and scandals;
  4. Humility and calmness. The realization comes that the person next to you is a separate person with his own character;
  5. Interaction and service. If at the previous stages the goal was to please oneself, now the couple is ready to interact and change for each other;
  6. The girl's friendly attitude towards her chosen one. She behaves not like a woman in love, but like a loyal friend;
  7. A love that will not fade. Emotions no longer boil over, relationships are perceived calmly and measuredly.

Heydar - what is it?

Of course, lesbians fall in love with heterosexual women, but the former also have some amazing ability to find representatives of non-traditional sexual orientation in their environment. Gaydar (from the English gaydar) is a term combining the two words “gay” and “radar”, which is used to refer to the ability of a gay person to identify and attract similar people.

Thus, in a 2014 study conducted by Northeastern University, 67 heterosexual women and 43 lesbians were given the following task: to determine which of the nine women represented were representatives of traditional and non-traditional sexual orientations. As a result, lesbians performed better than heterosexual women in identifying other lesbians, which is of great importance in terms of partner identification.

Married woman falling in love

Impulsive couples may get married in the initial stages of a relationship and make a serious decision based only on emotions. Most couples enter into marriage consciously, agreeing to connect their lives with the chosen one. Falling in love quickly passes, before true love you need to go through addiction, discontent and quarrels.

Woman is worried

How to understand that a woman loves you:

  • She shows concern directly or covertly. If she is worried about what her chosen one ate, how he slept, whether he dressed warmly, this is a concern;
  • She shows interest in his work, hobbies, and sincerely wants to know how he is doing;
  • She tries to spend time together, plans joint leisure activities;
  • She wants to please you with something - a delicious dinner or a small gift.

When there is not enough love in a marriage, a woman may fall in love with another person. For her, this situation is a shock; her friends and relatives begin to blame her, without trying to understand the reasons. Why is this happening:

  • The woman is in a state of emotional freedom. Everyone in a marriage lives their own life, goes about their own business, they are united by a common home, a child, and the habit of living together;
  • The relationship began to cool down a long time ago. She tried to support them, but her husband did not take the initiative;
  • Feelings weakened as a result of numerous quarrels and scandals. Both are mentally exhausted, anyone can try to find an outlet.

Sometimes a woman is prone to outbursts of emotion and may mistakenly think that she has fallen in love, especially if she had previously quarreled with her husband. A married woman has fallen in love if the following signs are observed:

  • she is in a good mood, despite conflicts in the family;
  • she has distracted attention, a dreamy look and a smile on her face;
  • she becomes secretive, always takes her phone with her, closes pages on social networks;
  • She began to pay more attention to her appearance and reacts with restraint to her husband’s compliments.

The signs that any woman is in love are almost the same. Each is looking for someone who will appreciate her merits, to whom she can give her care. Those who have experience in other relationships and those who fell in love for the first time behave the same way; they are given away by their gaze, facial expressions and behavior.

Smell matters2

The brain plays perhaps the most important role in the formation of attachment or attraction. For example, the orbitofrontal cortex, an area located just above the eyes, is involved in decision making and emotional processing. In 2006, a research team from the Stockholm Brain Institute used positron emission tomography (PET scans) to test how the brain processes sex pheromones, chemicals released by the body to attract sexual partners.

The study found that lesbians and heterosexual men showed greater blood flow in the brain after inhaling a pheromone-like chemical. Interestingly, this resulted in activation of their anterior hypothalamus, whereas the brain's piriform cortex and amygdala are typically activated during odor processing. The hypothalamus is believed to be associated with sexual arousal. Lesbian love is explained by the reaction of a woman's brain to the smell of another woman, which causes a storm of electrical activity in her brain and stimulates her body.

How to recognize true love?

Dr. Ray Short, in an effort to help lovers explore their feelings, offers some important advice:

  • understand what attracts you most in a person. If these are physical characteristics, then most likely you are simply passionate, but if you are interested in him as a person, then this is love;
  • if you truly love, then you like absolutely everything about your chosen one, even his shortcomings seem sweet and pleasant, and when you only like a sexy figure or a beautiful face, then this feeling is fleeting, and love is not real;
  • the quick start of a love story is almost always infatuation; true love manifests itself slowly, but thoroughly;
  • if the feeling either fades or flares up with renewed vigor, this is most likely passion, and constant tender and warm feelings indicate true love;
  • when love is real, you strive to become better, superficial infatuation does not give rise to a desire for improvement;
  • with real feelings, separation only increases the significance of the object of love; in other cases, even a short separation can cool feelings;
  • true love is selfless and aimed at providing joy to its soul mate, and love implicated in material wealth is very fragile and will fall apart at the first sign of financial troubles.


The lack of sex life, as well as dissatisfaction with it, can provoke same-sex love: 2 women will be united by the desire to receive as many positive emotions as possible from intercourse. Recently, many different articles have appeared that say that ladies know better what they themselves need, therefore the love of a woman for a woman can only bring positivity and a positive energy charge. Of course, after reading information of this kind, a girl, dissatisfied with heterosexual relationships and disappointed in love, will risk trying the forbidden fruit. Often this ends in a long-term union or a bad experience.

Dissatisfaction can be provoked by male egoism, the desire to please himself more than his partner. Therefore, the female subconscious erects a kind of wall in front of relationships with representatives of the stronger sex, which forces the individual to radically change his sexual orientation.

Female friendship

Girls share their first naive secrets among themselves in early childhood. Playing together with dolls, sitting in the sandbox, then at school at the same desk. As you grow older, trusting relationships do not go away, but are reinforced by discussions of cosmetics and outfits.

“Even though I don’t have a sister by blood, I consider you my sister” is what expresses the essence of the girls’ friendship since childhood. Bosom girlfriends have several points that unite them:

  • envy in relationships; This quality is generally characteristic of humans, but in the friendship of girls and women, it manifests itself more clearly. Such friends must be kept at a distance, because at any moment you can expect a stab in the back or betrayal from them;
  • a gossip is no less dangerous than an envious woman; Having shared your most intimate things with such a friend, you may be disappointed to discover that your secret has become public and is being savored with pleasure by those around you.

In the modern world, the opinion is firmly rooted that female friendship does not exist at all. But life itself constantly casts doubt on this statement with numerous examples of sincere, lasting and long-term friendly female relationships. One interesting observation is that in women’s groups, in a work environment, cases of friendships arising are very rare. Common interests and conversations are limited to office and professional activities.

Daughters - mothers

Often these are very complex relationships, the closest and dearest people sometimes seem to speak different languages ​​or even from opposite worlds. In a mother-daughter union, psychologists identify several models of relationships:

  • girlfriends; the mother sees in her daughter, first of all, an independent person, respects her individuality, and, as an older friend, unobtrusively strives to help if any problems arise; In this case, the daughter finds in her mother an object worthy of imitation and wants to be like her;
  • rivals; There is an elderly woman and nearby a blooming youth, the first, realizing the decline, directs her irritation against her daughter. Headship can belong to both mother and daughter. The tension in such a relationship is destructive and does not bode well until the eldest woman shows wisdom and proves by deed that she is not an enemy to her child.
  • Cold War; Here the selfishness of the daughter, who does not even accept the very possibility of her mother having her own personal life, collides with the mother’s sacrifice, who devotes herself entirely only to the family. As a rule, this situation is typical in single-parent families.
( 1 rating, average 4 out of 5 )
Did you like the article? Share with friends:
For any suggestions regarding the site: [email protected]
Для любых предложений по сайту: [email protected]