Is there friendship between a man and a woman? This is probably a question that should be classified as rhetorical. Someone will always argue that this is impossible, someone will always prove that this is the case, but there will never be any definitive confirmation of the position of one side or another. In this article, unfortunately, we also cannot give an unambiguous answer to the question of the existence of friendship between a man and a woman, but we will try to consider it in detail from both poles.
Is there friendship between a man and a woman: psychology
According to psychologists, such friendship is possible only in two cases:
- If the man is homosexual. In this case, he does not perceive the girl as a sexual partner. And the girl does not look at the guy as a lover or sexual partner. Such men perform well during friendship with a woman. Most often, girls who suffer from narcissism and cannot stomach competition are friends with homosexual men. They don’t want to communicate with girls, friends, because they consider them competitors in the heart of a certain man. A gay man can tell a girl what dress to wear from a male point of view. Give me some advice regarding hairstyles. Moreover, they have no interest and no competition between each other.
- The second case in which psychologists consider friendship between a man and a woman possible is ex-spouses or cohabitants who lived together for a long period of time. These people know each other's habits, but their relationship is over. They treat each other well and are considered like relatives. Therefore, friendship between such people is absolutely possible. They no longer perceive each other as sexual partners, lovers or spouses.
In all other cases, the usual instinct will take place, that is, the satisfaction of sexual needs between a man and a woman. Therefore, very often during various get-togethers with alcohol, one of the participants in the friendship crosses the line towards intimacy. It is at this stage that friendships between a man and a woman end and flow into love.
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Tips for "application"
How can you avoid falling into this terrible and painful “zone”. This is exactly how it is characterized by the sufferers who emerged from it. Here are some tips.
1. Don't get friend-zoned
The most important and most important rule. Avoid getting into the "friend zone". In the first stages of dating, do not make a cult out of a person and do not pay too much attention to him, this is annoying. Try not to show that you are capable of anything in order for the object of your adoration to spend time with you. And there is certainly no need to be intrusive, since the object of adoration should have a feeling of lack of attention and meetings.
2. Do something extraordinary
Arrange an unusual surprise that will be appreciated or simply pleasantly surprise your partner by inviting him to a delicious dinner you have prepared. Let the person know that you are not indifferent to him, since often understatement and misunderstanding act as a catalyst for the friend zone.
3. Don't be a whiner
Nobody likes pessimistic and always whining people. You shouldn’t “dump” all your problems and worries onto a person. Remember, everyone wants to have easy-going and positive people around them. The main thing is that your positivity does not seem too intrusive and feigned.
4. Be decisive
The simplest and most effective means is to confess your sympathy. Remember, love and sympathy are very different things. Try to choose the right and non-burdensome words that won’t scare you away.
There is also the possibility of such ambiguous relationships arising between people in a relationship on both sides. This is explained by the fact that people feel sympathy, but do not want to change their “halves” for what seems to them to be objective reasons.
Remember, love and sympathy are very different things.
How does friendship manifest between a man and a woman?
Friends spend a lot of time together. This can be either lunch or gatherings in a cafe. In addition, a variety of parties are possible. A man can ask a woman to help with choosing a gift for his beloved or organizing some kind of holiday. But most often you can notice other signs that do not exactly indicate friendship. This is a sign of caring.
A man wants to take care of the woman he likes in every possible way and whom he perceives as a sexual partner or a possible life partner. Therefore, he can fly in in the middle of the night if something happens to his girlfriend. In addition, a man often talks about his failures to a woman and tries to share his pain with her. Also, a man can show intimate attention in every possible way. These can be vulgar jokes, and even direct conversations about sex.
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Why friendship between a man and a woman does not exist, it is impossible: an explanation
If your friend is not a gay man or an ex-spouse, then the concept of friendship is very questionable. The fact is that many psychologists consider sexual desire to be a priority, that is, the basic instinct is in the foreground. A man, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, may perceive a friend’s woman as a potential sexual partner. For a woman, everything is much more complicated.
The fact is that by nature a woman is monogamous and very often tells and shares incidents with her friend. Women most often cannot give all of themselves to several men. Therefore, if your spouse has a friend, think about whether you are not providing something in terms of communication.
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Chance meeting
You met, for example, through the Internet. And somehow it immediately became clear that you were very comfortable together. You can discuss everything in the world, understand each other’s humor, find many common interests, and so on. But there is no trace of an erotic spark - you perceive a man solely as a person, and not as an object of desire, and he does the same for you. You can have a wonderful time, listen to each other’s experiences, help in difficult situations, sleep in the same bed after a certain number of cocktails - and continue to be friends. Because it is your communication and mutual understanding that is important to you. Love doesn't always mean sex. As well as vice versa.
Friendship or love happens between a man and a woman: a psychologist’s opinion
Many psychologists believe that friendship between family partners is not entirely sincere. Because the partners of friends will be jealous of each other and constantly create scandals on this basis. Because friends will want to spend some part of their time with each other. In turn, this can significantly upset and anger partners. Therefore, sooner or later there will be a choice between a friend or a lover.
Psychologists also believe that male and female friends tell each other a lot of different mysteries and secrets. Therefore, they are very close spiritually. Which can be quite difficult to achieve with life partners, as well as lovers. Therefore, if there is no understanding in a marriage, then most likely a woman or man can go to his girlfriend or friend; in such relationships there are always points of contact in the spiritual sense.
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Why a man agrees to be friends with a woman: psychology
Most psychologists believe that friendly relations between a man and a woman are veiled love. In this relationship, one partner wants more. Moreover, he may hide it quite carefully and not show it in any way, for fear of completely ruining the existing relationship. If a man is rejected by a woman, then any relationship, including friendships, will be lost.
This guides partners when they do not tell each other about their feelings. If this is friendship from a very young age, then with puberty the relationships of friends change towards each other. In this case, they may perceive each other as intimate partners. At this stage, people decide whether they want something more or remain friends. But quite often such relationships are simply broken off as soon as one of the friends finds a soul mate.
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According to psychologists, friendships between a man and a woman are disguised love or desire for sex. Actually, a man can agree to be friends with a woman for several reasons:
- They already had some kind of relationship or were married. This is one of the good ways to maintain normal relationships and communicate with each other.
- If the man is of non-traditional sexual orientation. Friendship with a woman gives him the opportunity to have a good time, and also learn a lot about how to put himself in order, share secrets and secrets.
- If a man is okay with his sexual orientation, then friendship with a woman is a veiled desire to become a sexual partner. Perhaps the man himself does not realize this.
- If a man likes a woman for a long time and he is afraid to tell her about it, friendship is an excellent opportunity to be as close to the woman as possible.
- The opportunity to share emotions and experiences with a woman that are difficult to share with men. A man is afraid that he will be laughed at or that he will seem soft. Women are more emotional and understanding. Therefore, you can discuss even sensitive issues with them.
- Hope for future relationships, the possibility of creating a loving couple.
- Some men may pretend to be friends with a woman in order to get her friend or to be as close to her as possible. This is an insidious option that most men are not capable of, due to its straightforwardness and simplicity.
Friendship between a man and a woman
Maybe it's just a disguised attraction
Yes, this option is certainly possible. But you shouldn’t spoil relationships because of simple speculation, when you can find out exactly what lies behind friendly conversations. Clear signs of sexual desire may include:
- Excessive attention and the need to always be together.
- Frequent gifts.
- The desire to spend time only alone, and not in common companies.
- Too frequent tactile contacts.
- Jealousy of your friends and partners.
In fact, it is not difficult to understand what feelings your friend has for you. It’s just that some of us don’t want to notice the obvious and lose a loved one.
Where is the boundary of friendship between a man and a woman: description
Most psychologists consider friendship between two free people to be veiled love or latent love, which sooner or later will develop into real feelings. It all depends on the points of contact. The reason for the breakdown of relationships, that is, friendship between a man and a woman, is alcohol. Because in this case, one of the partners begins to pester the other with a desire for sex or intimacy. There are two scenarios for the development of events: the partners either become lovers, or their relationship is severed.
The line between friendship and love between a man and a woman is quite thin and easily destroyed, because in most cases a decent amount of alcohol is enough for a man or woman to cross the line of friendship and enter into an intimate relationship.
There are several ways to suspect that you are being scammed. A few examples of a man wanting to be more than a friend:
- At your first call he comes to you. And even if nothing serious happened. Friends are usually not willing to spend so much personal time solving other people's problems.
- A man gives expensive gifts and borrows money without return. This suggests that the man is ready to spend money on you. Usually this is not done with friends.
- The man is ready to spend a lot of time with you. Moreover, it is useless for him, such as shopping and purchasing some new things and clothes.
- Discussion of failed relationships. A man who wants to be more than a friend tries to be by your side in difficult times. Very often he is a vest in which you can cry. He becomes some kind of joy and often after such sessions of communication with a friend, he becomes more than a friend. He turns into a loved one, because he was able to support him in difficult times.
Relationship
Why is it dangerous?
The consequences of a friendly relationship will be sad for both parties. Broken hearts, conflict, and most importantly, the cessation of communication with the closest person.
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It is simply impossible to build a trusting relationship when one of the partners hides something, and the other allows him to do it. After all, it has already been said that friendship is the absolute affection and devotion of two people.
If you notice problems, talk about them directly. Only in this case can you get by with “little bloodshed,” although no one can guarantee whether it will be possible to maintain the same connection.
Is friendship possible between a married man and a married woman, between colleagues?
Psychologists say that friendship between married partners is impossible, because family members will constantly be jealous of their friends. Experts also advise the husband of a woman who has a friend to pay attention to such communication. Most likely, her partner is not giving her something, since she is looking for a male friend. The same goes for girls. Because a man cannot tell some secrets and mysteries to his beloved. So he tells his friend.
It is believed that such friendship is one of the most dangerous, because sooner or later it leads to a break between spouses. Possible betrayal, clashes due to constant jealousy. Sooner or later, such a friendship will simply be severed due to constant squabbles with family.
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Cases of friendship between a man and a woman in literature: a brief description
In world literature there are not many examples of friendship between individuals of the opposite sex. More often than not, such relationships grew into something more or ended completely. An example would be:
- In Hemingway's story "Fiesta", the hero Jake and the girl are friends with each other.
- Also, a description of a strong friendship between a man and a woman can be found in the work of The Gadfly, Lilian Voynich.
- An example of friendship between a man and a woman in literature is Chernyshevsky’s work “What to do.” Although in this work friendship develops into love.
- It is also impossible not to note the friendship between Mark Twain and Helen Keller. Their friendship began when Helen was 14 and Mark was over 50. The friendship was based on the fact that Helen very much reminded Mark of his own daughter, so they were friends and spent a lot of time together.
Friendship in literature
