How to become indifferent to a man psychology. When and why does a woman become indifferent to a man?

Pushkin’s phrase has long become a catchphrase: “The less we love a woman, the easier it is for her to like us.” Indeed, we are often drawn to those who treat us with indifference or disdain. True, women deliberately use such tactics more often, say psychologists from the University of Western Sydney and the Singapore Management University.

Most people don't value what they get without effort. Therefore, if we immediately open our arms to meet a person, he may quickly lose interest in us. On the contrary, if we are capricious, our partner gets hooked. After all, the one who reciprocates the feelings of the first person he meets, apparently, does not have too much choice. And the lack of interest indicates that there is a choice, and in order to be “the one,” you will have to tinker a lot... And winning the Snow Queen is much more interesting than Cinderella...

The study, which involved over one and a half thousand people, analyzed various flirting and courtship strategies used by both sexes. It turned out that the participants used as many as 58 thoughtful tactics related to ostentatious indifference towards a potential partner, and they were used more often by the fair sex.

The most popular methods of winning over a partner were considered to be demonstrating increased self-esteem, flirting with other members of the opposite sex, and refusing sex.

Imagine watching a movie

Try not to attach much importance to the events happening around you. Consider that all these processes are part of the script of some feature film. Imagine that your whole life is a movie. If you can look at the world in this way, you will free yourself from emotions and see the bigger picture of what is happening. At the same time, you can observe the emergence of various emotions in you that push you to take part in this film. However, you will only observe and not manifest them.

The problem of people's indifference is arguments. Recommendations.

Go the distance. But the trick here is to withstand it. Artificially show lack of interest. Do not write, do not call, do not follow your betrothed. Those who can withstand at least a couple of days are already able to achieve success.
Distance yourself.
The problem of human indifference, the arguments are very extensive. The main thing is not to show emotions.
Observe but do nothing.
Use the epistolary genre to describe your own state. Subsequently, it is worth sending your emotions to him, the only one to whom they were intended. If there is no reaction, then you need to forget the man of your dreams.
Master various sexual techniques, including wumbling, and actively apply this in practice.
Develop your femininity. Read an article on this topic at the link ''Woman's femininity. “A man seeks his pleasure in a woman” (I.M. Sechenov). Protecting men." https://chudo-udo.com/poleznye-sovety/item/2832-zhenstvennost-zhenshchiny-muzhchina-ishchet-v-zhenshchine-svojo-naslazhdenie-im-sechenov-zashchita-muzhchin
Lose weight to the extent that you personally feel your inner self-confidence. A few extra pounds are not good for anyone. An enlarged face shape does not give us women self-confidence.
Get active in fitness.
Walk only in heels. They help you feel confident. And any confidence will be reflected in your inner state.
Always be in great shape. Take active care of yourself.
Think positively.
Tell jokes. Be witty and cheerful, not stressful, easy.
Don't accumulate resentment. Don't remember. Live ''here and now''.
Pamper yourself.
Don't worry, but worry.
The woman who acts with affection always wins, against indifference and indifference .
Try to liberate yourself enough to be the person he dreams of.
Achieve certain results in your own career growth. To ensure that you are proud of yourself, and he is proud of you automatically.
Look at him furtively.
Change your behavior tactics.
Constantly be different from a quiet sheep, to funny or bitchy.
Improve your appearance with the help of beauty salons.
Dress stylishly.
Cook delicious dishes.
Don't strain.
Try to cope with difficulties on your own, without involving him again or teasing him.
Give the opportunity to rest.
Master massage techniques.
Organize a joint trip to another country.
Change the situation.
Come unexpectedly when he is not expecting. You can show up for work and be disarmed by your appearance.
Tempt.
Have a child from him. After all, the best gift that a woman can give to a man is his heir.
Seek harmony in nature. Be creative. Create. Dream. Comprehend the basics of the universe.

Try to understand your true feelings for this man. What's this? Love? Addiction? Fear of loneliness? Hysterics? Or do you have a special need for this particular person? Understand the course of your thoughts and desires.

Stay rational

Try to hide your pride, beliefs and vulnerabilities. Your reaction to events happening around you should be limited to interest. Anger, defensiveness, resentment and other manifestations should remain aside. For most people, such actions may seem extremely difficult. For example, if someone attacks a person’s belief system, there is a natural desire to defend them and defend their point of view. To remain indifferent, you need to be as open as possible and allow for the possibility of any development in any situation. If someone doesn't agree with you, tell them it's their choice and you respect them, but you stand your ground.

Chatting like a stranger

If you want to show your indifference to a specific person, communicate with him as with a stranger. Don't elevate him above others, don't give him more attention than others. You can still talk to him, but when the conversation ends, forget about the person as a stranger. This conversation is especially effective if you are seeing a person who you hate and who hates you. A detached and indifferent conversation in this case is a more powerful weapon than the manifestation of any reactions. The person will expect the usual reactions from you, and will not know what to do when you leave.

Source: www.kakprosto.ru

Imagine watching a movie

Wedding or runaway groom

And so, at one fine moment, the woman lifts the veil of her mystery and feigned indifference, and allows the traveler she meets, who has been hanging around her royal palace for many days now, to look into her heart. And what is happening?!

In the first case, the so-called prince will come to visit, see what’s going on, take advantage of the hospitality, and come to the conclusion - oh, why do I need it?! And carefully, in reverse and unnoticed, he will leave the royal chambers, leaving the chosen bride in bewilderment and sadness.

She will never understand at first what it was - a blow of wind or someone really entering her mansion. And only the persistent courtship and fiery speeches of a gentleman from the past will bring a sad smile on her face, and the thought will creep far into her subconscious: “I knew it”...

The second option is more optimistic. True, here it is worth taking into account the restrained behavior of a woman who is going to allow a “knight on a white horse” to approach her. Restraint, accuracy and self-control can play into the hands of both men and women in such cases.

Often, people rush into the whirlpool of passions, without controlling the further flow of events and letting everything take its course. This is where many problems occur that do not lead the couple to anything good. And you just need to learn to control yourself and your emotions. And then, even after many years of living together, the woman will remain a mystery for the man, which he will not tire of solving.

Stay rational

Chatting like a stranger

Source: www.kakprosto.ru

How does a man’s indifference and coldness manifest in a relationship?

— He is not interested in how his wife is doing, how her day went, what difficulties she encountered;

- He does not offer his help if his wife is tired;

- He doesn’t worry about her health, emotional state, mood;

- He does not solve the problems that the woman tells him about;

— He ignores her requests;

- He doesn't care about her well-being;

- He doesn’t show any feelings towards her;

“He doesn’t tell her that he loves her;

- He does not want physical intimacy, citing fatigue;

— He doesn’t make any signs of attention, doesn’t give gifts or flowers.

If these points are present in the relationship between a man and a woman, it means, one way or another, the man is indifferent to his beloved.

Let's figure out why a man may show indifference in a relationship with a woman?

Since childhood, a man has been ingrained with incorrect attitudes towards women;
A man has no understanding of feminine nature, he does not know what his wife really needs;
He burns out emotionally at work and simply has no energy left for his relationship with his wife;
The man experiences dissatisfaction of his needs, which is why he is not going to satisfy his wife’s needs;
For a man, his own comfort zone is more important;
The woman believes that she is not worthy of this, and the man is just mirroring her;
A man doesn't love a woman.

As you can see, there can be many reasons for a man’s indifference, so it’s too early to say right away that he doesn’t love his wife. Now let's go through each point in more detail:

Since childhood, men have been ingrained with incorrect attitudes towards women. What does it mean? This means that it was different in his family. For example, his father was a military man: taciturn, cold and did not help his mother around the house. Housework is women's work, this was an unshakable rule. And so the boy grew up, absorbing it as dogma. It is this model of relationship between a man and a woman that is the norm for him, and when he gets married, he automatically recreates what he has seen for years.

Here you have a husband who does not help his wife, who does not talk about love and generally behaves coldly. And this does not mean at all that he does not love her!

What to do? Talk to him, say that it hurts you that he behaves this way. Talk about your family, where there was a different model of relationships. Ask to behave differently. But this should be said not in an accusatory form, but in a soft, “I-message.” What are “I-messages”?

“You are to blame for my pain”, “You ruined my whole life” - these are “You-messages”.

“It hurts me when you do this”, “I get offended by you” - “I-messages”.

As soon as you start a conversation with “You-messages”, the man will immediately think that you are accusing him and will rear up. And the best defense, as you know, is attack.

A man has no understanding of feminine nature; he does not know what his wife really needs. His mother may have acted as a victim, did not allow herself anything, did not demand anything from his father. That’s why she didn’t teach her son what is really important to a woman.

Very often, men do not give flowers or do not give compliments simply because they do not know that their woman wants it. That she needs it. In general, many men tend to think that throwing around words or showing romanticism is somehow unmanly. These are real actions - yes. And they are silent like partisans, they don’t give gifts, they don’t make surprises.

What to do? Again, talk to your husband about your needs, desires, dreams. Say, for example, like this: “I would be even happier if you at least sometimes gave me flowers.” And don't blame. Not with anything!

He burns out emotionally at work and simply has no energy left for his relationship with his wife. If this is the reason for a man’s indifference, then, firstly, this indifference was not always there, and secondly, it will not always be. There are men who let all the problems at work pass through themselves, burn out emotionally, and give their all without reserve. But in any case, it is unrealistic to work at this pace all the time. There are periods of decline in activity, and, finally, moon cycles.

What to do? Help him, give him a relaxing massage in the evening, cook a delicious dinner. In a word, try to restore his strength after a hard day at work. And support him, encourage him, believe in his success.

The man experiences dissatisfaction of his needs, which is why he is not going to satisfy his wife’s needs. This means that the snowball has already been started by the wife and is gradually growing and growing. Perhaps the man is not satisfied with something in sex or is offended by the behavior of his wife... The point is that he harbors a grudge, and therefore shows indifference and coldness. And, by the way, it’s not always the wife’s fault, it could just be a misunderstanding. Therefore, we need to talk to each other, talk and talk again.

What to do? See above.

For a man, his own comfort zone is more important. This is about those cases when a woman asks her husband to take out the trash or work with the children, and he lies and watches TV. Or plays tanks. Or goes out for a beer with friends. In a word, he does what he wants. He loves his wife, but he loves himself more.

What to do? Look for the reasons for his such behavior in yourself. Oddly enough, men who lie on the couch, being married to some, turn into better knights by marrying others. Do you inspire your man to do great things? Or perhaps you saw for any occasion? This is where you need to think.

The woman believes that she is not worthy of this, and the man is just mirroring her. A man always reflects the inner state of a woman. He is her mirror. Therefore, it is quite possible that she herself considers herself unworthy of a man helping her, loving her, pampering her and talking about his love. The man reads her message at the energy level and behaves accordingly - he shows indifference and coldness. What she felt she deserved.

What to do? Work on yourself, raise your self-esteem, learn to love and respect yourself. A woman, of course.

We don’t consider the last point, because why then endure a man’s indifference and coldness if he doesn’t love?

Source: www.twiy.ru

Why men are attracted to women's indifference

Men, as simple-minded creatures, often do not distinguish between in which cases a woman is playing and in which cases it is really not worth trying to start a relationship. By his nature, a real man is a male, in whose subconscious purposefulness occupies one of the first places.

And it doesn’t matter what the goal is in front of him. As they say: “I see the goal, I see no obstacles.” This is one of a number of reasons why women's indifference attracts men. In such cases, representatives of the fairer sex are simply a goal for them, which they are obliged to reach sooner or later. And often, it doesn’t matter how a woman feels in such cases. This type of man is not particularly interested in what a lady has in her soul - hidden love, indifference or disgust.

Falling in love is another important reason why a man will be drawn to a woman who ignores him. If these are really high feelings, the force of attraction in this case doubles.

Male interest increases, he becomes more decisive - “How is it that I fell in love, and she ignores me?!” Male curiosity in such cases knows no bounds and can be embodied in the most unexpected actions. And all just so that the lady of his heart would come down from her throne and pay attention to him.

How to become indifferent to a person

Lapel (c) by “NLP Proffi”

Technique for destroying love

Second edition, corrected and expanded

(Why is this relationship valuable to you? How is this person valuable to you?)

At this stage, we collect information about whom the client wants to stop loving, and about the relationship with him - the object of love. Is the client ready for this step, what motivates him, what will freedom from falling in love give him, will he lose anything important (write down as secondary benefits)? Moreover, in “advanced” cases of strong love with unsuccessful attempts to fall out of love on their own, most likely, the client will be motivated negatively; you should not bother him too much. Ask the client what these relationships give (what are valuable) to the client, what is important about them, what is valuable about this person (Second. Write out the benefits!).

Ask the client what can make him stop loving a person? Why doesn't he like people (of the opposite sex)? In advanced cases, you can collect more information about what he really dislikes in people in general. (If the operator is ready, you can even

even talking about hatred, this will help swing the pendulum in the other direction, only after step 6 you will need to swing the “love-hate” pendulum to a neutral position, making a reframing like: “Now you can allow yourself to think of this person as neutral, as you once created his ideal, so you recently hated him - now you don’t really know what he is like, he can be both this and that - he is a living person with his own merits and demerits")

We make a list SP1 of anti-values/negative behavior. We install the I-anchor on the experience of these anti-values.

Holding the I- anchor, we send the client from the present to the past on the time line and ask him to remember at least three events that accurately confirm that the object is the same as what is on the SP1 list. We mark them on the LV. Then the client, moving from the past to the present along the LP, experiences these situations in association. The anchor is held constantly.

Here it is important to “shake up” the situation, since falling in love is an attractor with a powerful attraction, associated living and, as a result, a decrease in value is necessary for the next step.

We ask the client to remember the image of the object. Then we ask him to make the following change in submodalities: make the picture black and white, add movement (i.e. turn it into an analog (smooth) film), move it away from himself (“into the past”), make it clear (and color), expand the focus of attention onto the background surrounding the object, equate the object and the background.

We do this several times, faster each time, and at the end of each change we clear the “screen” (“swing pattern”). Set I+ to the change made.

In principle, this sequence is not the only one; often a simpler one works - make the picture moving, move it to the line of the past, lower the brightness, add detailed clarity - i.e. make it like ordinary “memories” from the past and bring the submodalities of the object (brightness, clarity, contrast) into line with the submodalities of the background (if there is no background, add it).

If it doesn’t help - either they were weakly “swinged” at step 3, or the client has a more individual sequence of submodalities of falling out of love - you can look for a critical one, which is guaranteed to irrevocably “displace” the object and start from there.

As an option, find where the “submodal warehouse of lovers/people you broke up with” is located on the line of the past and drag the object there.

Make a reframing like: “At a distance from this person, it will be easier for you to assess the situation and relationship with him. You can understand the meaning of this time by moving away from this person.”

Here you can develop this theme by saying that “big things are seen from a distance,” a person can allow himself to let go of events and people in order to be able to realize their meaning, significance, etc. Obtain the client's congruent consent.

We create an image of the client’s ideal state in the future (free from falling in love), send him to the future, ask him from the future to give recommendations to his present self on how to achieve this state, return him to the present, he “listens” to his recommendations and “lives” them, going from the present to the future. Possible several times.

Ask the client: “How can you, having freedom/ideal state, realize secondary benefits from point 1.”

While holding I+, we ask the client to tell about planned/probable at least three meetings with the object. It is advisable that the background be neutral, or not at all, so that other anchors do not interfere.

Indifference is the easiest way to turn men's heads

Have you noticed that women who treat men
with disdain and arrogance are often the target of persistent persecution?
Do you remember how the man you were indifferent
to came back to you again and again?

He behaved this way because you did not “smother” him with crazy love.

You occasionally gave him your attention, perhaps out of pity. They slightly encouraged his desire to see you, give you gifts, take you to restaurants.

It is much more difficult to show restraint when you are in love. You will have to show great self-control not to throw yourself on the neck of the man you think is Mr. What's Right. Pull yourself together if you don't want to scare him away.

Sometimes strictly fulfilling the requirements of the described “strategy of love” seems even more difficult than strictly following a diet. If you're tempted to do something wrong—like using a good excuse to call your crush—talk to a friend who's willing to give you moral support instead.

Use your female friends whenever you feel like making a losing move with the man you're interested in. The phone is always at hand. The number of your chosen one constantly sounds in your head. Pull yourself together! One extra call or inappropriate gift can

destroy everything you have worked so hard to create.

Breaking old habits is not easy, but it must be done if they are having a detrimental effect on your personal life. When a woman faces problems in a love relationship, the ability to refrain from excessive and premature dedication is the key to future success.

When is complete dedication acceptable?

If he gives you his whole soul, you can give him the same back. If you have consciously committed yourself to mutual obligations and exclusive relationships, you have the right to give love with the greatest generosity of which you are capable.

No matter how much love you give to your chosen one, some part of your soul will always belong to you alone. You are obligated to keep it under any circumstances. Perhaps it will be only ten percent, but this value will allow you to remain a sovereign and integral person. Treasure yourself.

How to become indifferent to a man?

The author of books on family life, Svetlana Ermakova, answers the question of the same name about indifference to a former boyfriend, voiced in a letter from a young woman. We think that her answer will be useful to any woman who wants to become indifferent to a man, ex-husband or lover.

ANNA asks : Svetlana, hello! I broke up with MCH almost a year ago (I forgot for a long time and it was difficult, there was withdrawal), I still haven’t completely let go. I don’t know how to become indifferent to a man.

I used your advice, re-read your articles and answers here. It's constantly getting easier and easier. There are no strong ties anymore. But thoughts about him still arise sometimes. I am very grateful to you for all your articles, books, advice.

I now have the following question - I, of course, deleted the former MCH from my friends on social media. networks. But I still have his friend as a friend. I know that my friend loves him very much, adores him, although my former MCH is not a very worthy person. We don’t have any communication with his friend (we talked a little, but everything stopped after breaking up with my man), although I really like this man’s friend (as a person), I treat him well.

From time to time, some information about the ex (either a photo from their parties, or a like) appears on his friend’s page, my heart skips a beat and shrinks almost always - when reminded of my ex-MC. Today I unsubscribed from notifications from a friend altogether so as not to see his news in my feed. And now I’m thinking: Should I remove my friend of the former MCH from my friends list or let it be for now?

I don’t want the former MCH to think that I’m still not indifferent to him and therefore I’m deleting his friend (so that nothing reminds me of him). (The former MCH, by the way, still writes to me, I don’t answer). (

Women's indifference to a man as a lack of feelings

Often, the meeting of opposite sexes does not contribute to the appearance of the necessary spark, which should subsequently develop into a flame of passion. There can be many reasons for this:

external unattractiveness;
woman's fear of new relationships;
disappointment in men;
and just plain lack of interest.

It is possible to make attempts to win a woman in such cases, but you should not hope for a favorable outcome. In some cases, this will simply anger and disappoint the woman even more.

Perhaps a woman will allow you to indulge in a short period of courtship in order to stroke her pride, but later it is unlikely that anything will come of it. As they say: “If there is a spark, you cannot hide it, and if there is not, you cannot invent it.” Sometimes men go against the nature of feelings and conquer a woman who experiences absolutely nothing. And in the end they get an unloving wife in marriage, who will turn his family life into a nightmare.