Imagine watching a movie
Try not to attach much importance to the events happening around you. Consider that all these processes are part of the script of some feature film. Imagine that your whole life is a movie. If you can look at the world in this way, you will free yourself from emotions and see the bigger picture of what is happening. At the same time, you can observe the emergence of various emotions in you that push you to take part in this film. However, you will only observe and not manifest them.
Don't be indifferent
Emergency stop of a Tu-154M aircraft on the landing strip in the village of Izhma on September 7, 2010.
Here is an absolutely amazing case. On September 7, 2010, a Tu-154 plane flying from Yakutia to Moscow experienced a breakdown: the power supply system completely failed, and the plane began to rapidly descend. It seemed possible to save people only by landing in the very near future. But how to do this in places not suitable for planting? Suddenly, a free, clear runway appeared in front of the pilots. The plane was able to land safely. The pilots were then honored a lot. But few people know that this helicopter airfield in the village of Izhma, on the landing strip of which they managed to land, was closed long ago, and only one person, Sergei Sotnikov, walked and kept the runway clean and tidy for twelve years. They said to him: “Are you crazy?” In other places, abandoned airfields were turned into garbage dumps and filled with warehouses. And he, the former head of the helipad, walked around, maintained order, cut down the sprouting willows, did not allow the territory to be littered, and twelve years later the clean runway awaited its plane. This is how it was possible to save the lives of many people thanks to the fact that one person did not show indifference.
A different incident occurred in a family close to us. My son went to the garage this afternoon to repair the car. For some reason I was late in the evening. The parents, worried, began to get dressed to go and make sure that no trouble had happened to him. The daughter began to dissuade them: “Come on, he went to his friend. Why are you going to walk?” Apparently, the parents’ hearts felt something was wrong, but they gave in to the advice. And in the morning, having clearly realized the trouble, they hurried to the garage. The son was lying not far from the door. When he was repairing the car, at some point he turned on the engine. Carbon monoxide poisoned him. Moreover, he was about to leave and put on a scarf. If the parents had come in the evening, they would have saved their son.
Let's not mention how everyone repented - fruitlessly and hopelessly - after the tragedy. But let’s think about whether it has happened to us to treat our neighbor carelessly, to brush him off, to refuse him, not to help, to rely on chance: “It will work out on its own.”
From time to time, the media contains information about people’s suicides, about how a person reached such a degree of despair and disappointment in life that sometimes he not only killed himself, but before that even his own small child. All these people believed that there was no way out of the current impasse in life, that instead of a mournful, desperate existence, it was best to interrupt life itself, as if to throw off this extra, unnecessary and painful burden, and at the same time free their child from a joyless, full of deprivation existence. The reason for the catastrophe in life is that these people felt completely isolated from society, they felt like they were beyond the line, and an insurmountably strong wall was erected between them and the surrounding society in their own souls. And really, how can you live among people in whose humanity you have lost faith and belief?
The commandment “Thou shalt not kill” prohibits killing not only directly, but also indirectly: do not kill someone else’s hope, faith in goodness
This is the fault of each of us, because we are all harsh, cold and callous towards others. When we hear the sixth commandment “Thou shalt not kill,” it is important to understand that God forbids us to kill not only directly, but also indirectly, that is, not to kill someone else’s hope, faith in goodness, beautiful impulses in the soul of a person - not to kill with your indifference, laziness , indifference. This sin is committed when we deprive another person of the joy of being, we do not even want to enter into his situation in the slightest.
Usually we justify ourselves by saying that we ourselves have many problems - how can we also participate in the troubles of another person? If we think from a spiritual perspective, then by avoiding the problems of our neighbors, we are preparing new troubles for ourselves. The Monk Paisius the Svyatogorets said: “Those who are afraid to sacrifice their physical health and comfort for the love of Christ cannot find spiritual peace either in this life or in the future.” Why won’t the indifferent person find peace of mind?
Indifference comes from withdrawing into oneself and not wanting to disturb oneself in any way. Such a person seems to be hidden in a capsule from which he looks coldly and distantly. His heart is in some kind of oblivion, frozen and therefore does not give birth to any living feelings. But in the end, he himself experiences emptiness and loneliness. Indifference to others certainly results in self-isolation and inner devastation. An indifferent person cannot be happy. This is the deprivation of true life, a step towards the death of the soul. And indeed, when we are indifferent to our neighbors, we become like the dead, because in the cemetery the dead do not notice each other. Life is activity, it is expressed in action. And therefore, indifference can only be overcome by actively doing good.
Walking past a suffering neighbor and hastily reading a prayer are phenomena of the same order.
The prayer of an indifferent person is weak and does not reach God. After all, such a person is completely turned towards himself, he is not used to going out to meet anyone, including God. Therefore, the prayers of indifferent people are, as a rule, very formal and dry. Without feeling someone’s pain, without involving his soul in the troubles of those who are nearby, the indifferent person turns out to be turned off from compassion, sympathy, empathy, that is, he is deprived of internal connections with anyone, loses heartfelt sensitivity, which undermines his spiritual life as a whole and immobilizes prayer. Therefore, it seems that two different actions that are in no way connected with each other: passing by a suffering neighbor and hastily, without feeling, reading a prayer - are actually phenomena of the same order. Coldness towards one's neighbor entails coldness towards God. And vice versa - sensitivity to others contributes to stronger and more lively prayer. Therefore, the golden rule is this: if you want God to hear you in your troubles, try to hear your neighbors in their troubles.
From the ancient Patericon we learn how the brethren asked Saint Anthony: “If anyone says: I will not take anything from the brethren, and I myself will not give them anything, what is enough for me is enough for me; is it good?" Saint Anthony replied: “My children! whoever is like that is hard-hearted, and his soul is the soul of a lion. He must be considered alienated from the community of all good people.” But not only is the indifferent person alienated from the community of good people, he is alienated from Christ, and, by and large, everything that was said by the Lord about the condemnation of sinners at the Last Judgment is connected in one way or another with their indifference to their neighbors: “I was hungry, and you are not they gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me no drink; I was a stranger, and they did not accept Me; I was naked, and they did not clothe Me; sick and in prison, and you did not visit Me... Because you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me” (Matthew 25: 42–43, 45).
In the Gospel, in the Lord's Discourse on the Mount, so amazing in its depth, the basic moral truths of Christianity are expressed in the simplest words. It says in particular: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). The good deeds of a Christian are called a light that should enlighten our dark life. But how to show this light?
A psychologist I know, Victor, once saw an extremely distressed elderly man on the street, walking and noticing almost nothing in front of him. Everyone, naturally, passed by. Victor approached him. “So, I see that you have some kind of grief. Tell me right now what happened to you,” he said kindly but decisively. It turned out that the scammers deprived the elderly man of his property: having trusted him, he signed a document against himself. But our psychologist also turned out to be difficult - he works in very high structures, but he has not lost his sympathetic heart, he immediately called a prosecutor he knew, discussed the situation, arranged a meeting and left contacts. After spending two hours supporting the injured person, at home Victor listened to his wife’s reproaches: “Where are you going?” But his soul was at ease.
The secret of happiness turns out to be very simple. To be happy yourself, you need to be able to make others happy. And only those who know how to give a part of themselves - their time, attention, care - can make their neighbor happy. Taking part in the sorrows of our neighbors, we cease to notice our own troubles and sorrows; it is as if they no longer exist for us. By making our troubles secondary, and putting love for our neighbors first, we really take the path of personal happiness.
When you see a stranger upset, why not pray to God for him?
You can create good in small things, without, so to speak, making any extraordinary efforts. For example, when you see a sad, distressed person you don’t know, why not pray to God for him from your heart? Having met a person who has experienced grief, why not support him with at least a kind and warm word? A Christian is called not to put on a cap from under which he looks at the world with hostility, but to transform the world with a good example and an active manifestation of love.
Often, looking at their past, people begin to understand that it was possible to treat others more humanely, not by defending their principles or ruthlessly following all sorts of formal laws and restrictions - official, social, age, etc., but by showing warmth, attention and care. Positions and powers go away, over time the futility of many of our worries and searches will be revealed, but the inner content of a person will remain. Good must be done in a timely manner. And we must hurry to do good.
As long as our neighbors exist, as long as there are people with their needs and sorrows, we have a wonderful opportunity to save our souls - through mercy, compassion, kindness and love!
Stay rational
Try to hide your pride, beliefs and vulnerabilities. Your reaction to events happening around you should be limited to interest. Anger, defensiveness, resentment and other manifestations should remain aside. For most people, such actions may seem extremely difficult. For example, if someone attacks a person’s belief system, there is a natural desire to defend them and defend their point of view. To remain indifferent, you need to be as open as possible and allow for the possibility of any development in any situation. If someone doesn't agree with you, tell them it's their choice and you respect them, but you stand your ground.
Composure and indifference are special character traits
Another similar quality is indifference. While an emotional person becomes hysterical or depressed, an indifferent person enjoys a carefree life and believes that there is no point in wasting feelings on mere trifles. And in this case, reason prevails over prejudice.
We all sometimes face difficult situations for one reason or another, because of which we cannot always control ourselves. Even the calmest and most balanced person can be enraged . Therefore, it is very important to be able to restrain your emotions and be calm. A person is capable of experiencing both positive and negative feelings. If good emotions bring us great joy, then negativity in the same volume fills life with anxiety, fear and irritability. Sometimes you can’t cope with them, they unsettle you. And it’s worth thinking about how to avoid the consequences of all these negative feelings.
Fear is the biggest reason for lack of control over bad emotions. From a young age, this feeling lives in us, grows with us, develops. Sometimes it seems to us that it is not there, but it is always in service; it is in our minds , guides us, sends signals (stimuli) and often, instead of common sense, the instinct of self-preservation is triggered in us. It sinks its roots into the nervous system and destroys it; a person becomes a victim of stress, nervous breakdowns and subsequently chronic diseases.
Composure and indifference are the enemies of fear . Thanks to these qualities, a person dominates fear and controls feelings, which affects relationships with others, the result of one’s own undertakings, mood and harmony of the soul.
Chatting like a stranger
If you want to show your indifference to a specific person, communicate with him as with a stranger. Don't elevate him above others, don't give him more attention than others. You can still talk to him, but when the conversation ends, forget about the person as a stranger. This conversation is especially effective if you are seeing a person who you hate and who hates you. A detached and indifferent conversation in this case is a more powerful weapon than the manifestation of any reactions. The person will expect the usual reactions from you, and will not know what to do when you leave.
