Arrogant behavior: what it is formed from and how it manifests itself

When others demonstrate their superiority, the only thing you can do is not play their game! Arrogance creates distance between people when a person acts as if he is more important or knows more than others. Unlike healthy pride in one's achievements, it pushes people away.

What is the difference between pride and arrogance? After communicating with an arrogant person, you feel uneasy. You feel that he may harm you in order to maintain his perceived superiority, from spreading gossip to outright violence.

Nobody likes arrogant people. These tips will help you maintain your self-esteem.

Learn to distinguish when a person is powerful and when he is just trying to persuade

When someone presents reasonable facts and arguments that show that something should be done in a certain way, but the power of choice and decision remains with you, this is simply an attempt at persuasion. It may or may not work well, but it is legal and believable, so it should not be seen as dominating you. On the other hand, if someone tries to deceive, manipulate and make a tragedy out of everything, this is already an attempt to exert psychological pressure.

If someone tries to sway you in their favor by saying something like: “You must do as I say, you must help me, everyone must listen to me,” etc. - this should be clear to you a signal that an unacceptable method of persuasion is being used. This is more like the emotional manipulation of a powerful person.

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Arrogance Test

There are 12 signs of arrogance that may indicate that you may have arrogance:

  1. Reluctance to ask questions
    . An arrogant person believes that he knows everything he needs, and he is a priori smarter than others.
  2. Also a sign of arrogance is the reluctance to ask questions about the Path that a person is following
    . An arrogant person believes that he already knows how he will be better.
  3. Non-acceptance of criticism
    . An arrogant person considers himself perfect and perceives any criticism as unfounded.
  4. In a conversation, an arrogant person always speaks and listens only to himself
    . He is not interested in the point of view of his interlocutor, because the interlocutor is already, by default, mistaken.
  5. Constantly trying to lecture someone
    is also a sign of arrogance. A person believes that only he is right, and everyone around him is mistaken and it is urgent to “set them on the right path.”
  6. Love of praise
    . An arrogant person loves to be praised. After all, it is always deserved.
  7. Failure to perceive inconvenient truths
    . If an arrogant person is told a truth that harms his interests, he will reject any arguments.
  8. An arrogant person thinks he is smarter than others
    . He thinks that everyone around him makes mistakes. Everyone except himself.
  9. Thirst for power and getting pleasure from control
    , and more often - from humiliation and domination over others.
  10. Oddly enough, sycophancy
    is one of the signs of arrogance. A person, wanting to create comfortable conditions for himself, strives to please his superiors in order to gain even more power and influence.
  11. Constantly talking about the shortcomings of others
    . And constant humiliation and insults of other people on this basis.
  12. Not admitting your own mistakes
    . Inability to apologize and repent.

Their behavior is dictated by good intentions

When you recognize someone with dominant tendencies, it will be hard not to notice how this person pokes their nose around and generally behaves obnoxiously. You will feel that their behavior of interfering in someone's work down to the smallest detail is not liked by anyone. At the same time, try to identify his positive traits and realize that at least he has a strong work ethic. This will likely help you treat his words and actions in the right way.

In reality, a dominant person is not intentionally behaving in ways that deliberately irritate you or make your job more difficult. If this is so, then this is a completely different story - fanaticism or obsessive behavior. Most likely, he is simply passionate about his work and wants it to be done professionally - even if it means that his approach to work will be perceived by others as annoying. At the very least, you have to recognize the value of this person and the fact that he is passionate about what he does and going in the right direction. At the same time, this does not give him the right to dictate what you do down to the smallest detail.

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The price of pride.

You have to pay for everything, and pride also has its price.

If a person does not work on himself to overcome pride, then there will be consequences. Unfortunately, many people realize this too late and have to pay a high price for their carelessness. What is the price of pride? In family. Pride has no place in a loving family. Pride in the family manifests itself in the unwillingness to give in and take into account the opinion of others. Also, a proud spouse can generally make decisions without even informing his companion. The pride of one spouse encourages them to think only about their own needs, for example, physical, emotional or sexual. Children who have adopted the proud behavior of their parents then behave the same way in their families and are often not grateful to their parents. Thus, the price of pride is quite high for those who wanted to have a strong family in the full sense of the word. Such families are not truly happy and this is visible to the naked eye. In society.

Pride is often the cause of even world clashes and conflicts. Reluctance to help, give in and value natural resources provokes wars, which only aggravate the situation. However, even on a mini-scale there is a different price list of pride. For example, a proud person may not have real friends. Pride can generally prevent a person from calmly communicating with others. At work, it is difficult for a proud person to listen to the leadership of his boss and therefore interpersonal conflicts are inevitable. Health. Pride makes a person irritable, constantly dissatisfied with something, and this negatively affects his physical health. The nervous system becomes shaken and very sensitive to the slightest irritants. The digestive system can malfunction under stress. The endocrine glands (thyroid, pancreas, adrenal glands) suffer from stress and this aggravates their already difficult work. The cardiovascular system also suffers from stress and frequent conflicts. Often such people become hypertensive. Agree, how high the price of pride is! Therefore, it is worth thinking about whether there is inappropriate pride in your character and how to overcome pride? But it is possible to overcome pride!!!

Don't try to control them

Sometimes it can be very tempting to try to put a powerful person in his place and repay him in kind. But it won't do you any good. Moreover, this may provoke further negative attitudes towards you, which will only lead to a worsening of the problem and will in no way solve it.

In the book “Mental Freedom: Free yourself from negative feelings and change your life,” American psychiatrist Judith Orloff advises how to behave in such a situation: “Be assertive, not domineering. Keep yourself at a safe distance and don't accept the role of the victim. The most important thing is to be consistent in your actions. And then you are guaranteed to achieve your goal.”

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Reasons for the development of pride

Unfortunately, normal and useful pride can develop into arrogance - groundless and exaggerated pride and a number of other immoral qualities. But pride and such an arrogant attitude towards the world do not necessarily follow from adequate pride.

  • The roots can go to a person’s insecurity, resentment, anger, complexes. Then pride is a variant of overcompensation.
  • Another possible reason: a person despises others because of his social status, moreover, coming from the family (the parents achieved it, but the proud person himself did nothing at all, but inflated his Ego).

Don't be afraid to speak your mind

We all know that powerful people tend to believe that the methods and tactics they use are the best. But this does not mean that you do not have the right to independence and independence. If you completely disagree with the ways they have chosen to solve problems, do not hesitate to defend your point of view and speak your mind without fear. If the person in authority is your work colleague and is at the same level of authority as you, this should not be a problem for you. Explain to him and other employees why you decided to act in your own way, and not as dictated to you. There is no need to justify your choice.

On the other hand, if that person is in a higher position than you, it may seem a little harder to stand up and speak your mind. However, even in this case, try to maintain your independence and find an opportunity to clearly state your position. Justify your opinion, and your boss may understand that it is correct and will help achieve the desired result. Then it will be much more difficult for him to insist on his point of view.

Proverbs about arrogance

The harmfulness of arrogance is widely reflected in popular proverbs and sayings:

  • It’s not worth a penny, but it looks like a ruble;
  • don’t turn your nose up, otherwise you’ll fall;
  • flew high and landed in a chicken coop;
  • high in opinions, but low in deeds;
  • flies high, but lands somewhere;
  • sits on a sheepskin and talks about sable;
  • every woodlice wants to fly like a bird.

The problem of arrogance is the scourge of our time

In our society, the problem of an arrogant attitude towards others is highly developed. And all this most often comes from childhood. Parents allow two extremes in raising a child. First: the child is taught that he is special, chosen, not like everyone else, that he is better than others, that all around are losers and plebeians. Second: the child is told that he is insignificant, incapable of anything, a loser, lazy and, in general, does not have any talents or good qualities. And both of these extremes in upbringing lead to arrogance in adulthood.

It is clear that if a child is raised like a prince (in the bad context of this concept), then even in adulthood he will believe that everyone owes him. However, if you go to the other extreme and constantly convince a child that he is insignificant, then the defense mechanism of the psyche will work and the child himself will begin to convince himself that his parents are wrong and in fact he is the most talented and successful. And only finding a golden mean in the matter of education can give a worthy result and raise a person who will neither humiliate himself nor elevate himself.

It is sometimes very difficult to find a middle ground. In various educational methods there is such a concept that until the age of five, a child should be “raised like a god,” that is, he is allowed everything and is not limited in anything. This allows you to avoid the appearance of various complexes and fears in the psyche. And after five years, the child, on the contrary, is placed in ascetic (within reasonable limits) conditions so that he understands certain boundaries that cannot be crossed. But at the same time, he must act not out of fear, but with an understanding of why it is impossible to act one way or another.

This, of course, is just a version and one of the methods of education, and how relevant and safe it is - the question remains open, but the method is very interesting. In any case, any excessive suppression of a child, as well as permissiveness, lead to disastrous results. Therefore, it remains to recommend sticking to the golden mean, not going to extremes and maintaining common sense.

Know how to tell them “no”

You must be able to not only express your opinion, but learn to refuse powerful people and not submit to their demands so that they leave you alone. You must understand that although they are dedicated and passionate about their work, they carefully try to hide what is really going on in their heads. If you don't agree with their demands, they tend to react very emotionally.

But even in this situation, it is important that you do not settle for pleasing them just because it is the easiest way. Learn to say “no” to them more often. Remember that you don't have to make excuses for this. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, even if someone makes you feel guilty for not doing it. Be decisive in your interactions with them, articulate your thoughts clearly, and don't hesitate to practice your refusal in advance so that you sound more confident when meeting them.

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Ask them questions and try to have a meaningful conversation

Dominant people like to give instructions, distribute roles and functions. Your reaction is often to either ignore them, try to somehow accommodate them, or resist them. To stop this usual routine that probably isn't producing positive results, try another tactic: try to start an interesting conversation with him about the topic you're currently working on.

You can do this in response to his demands and instructions. Try to ask questions that clarify intentions and force meaningful responses. Let's say you're writing an important report, and this person casually remarks to you: “You're doing it wrong!” Instead of muttering something under your breath, arguing with him, or just giving in and doing it his way, try explaining to him like this: “My approach has always brought positive results, but I would like to hear the benefits that your solution will bring Problems". In this case, he will have no choice but to try to explain his position to you.

Don't hesitate to seek outside help

If you feel like your relationship with a controlling person is completely out of control and you can't agree on your responsibilities, don't hesitate to seek outside help. This means that you need to approach some authority. This could be an older person who works in your organization, or a close relative whom you consider objective and capable of establishing a dialogue between you.

This may be similar to the behavior of a child that you try to avoid as much as possible. But if you haven't been able to make any progress with this person lately and have tried everything, this step may help. Make an appointment with the person you have chosen to mediate and ask for their input to resolve some of the issues you disagree with.

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