What to do if there is no boyfriend: 10 reasons and their solutions

Romantic dates, admiring glances, declarations of love. Isn't this what every girl dreams of? He waits, hopes for a happy meeting, but fate decides otherwise. Why are some representatives of the female half of humanity surrounded by the attention of the stronger sex since childhood, while others entertain themselves with vain hopes and yearn in loneliness? So it was, is and will be. It is impossible to determine one single reason for such injustice. What to do if you don't have a boyfriend? Definitely don’t sit idly by, waiting for mercy from nature. We must try to deceive fate - the villain. To do this, you need to engage in self-criticism, honestly admit the shortcomings and weaknesses that prevent you from finding a partner and starting to improve yourself.

Not ready for a relationship

First of all, think carefully about whether you really want to get into a relationship. Perhaps, at this moment in time, you do not have a true desire to get into a serious relationship. And obsessive thoughts about a lover manifest themselves as a herd instinct. After all, everyone is around with guys, I want it too. Envy and self-doubt appear. But in reality, relationships are not so important to you, because of this reason the guy does not appear in your destiny. Agree, usually, if there is a true desire, then it comes true. It’s not for nothing that there is a phrase: you just have to really want it.


To get rid of loneliness, they use various methods, including performing magical rituals. First you need to understand the reason for the absence of your loved one:

  1. Analyze your behavior and attitude towards the problem.
  2. Make an adequate reference to your former partners.
  3. Reconsider life values; perhaps the image of the ideal man has already changed.
  4. Take steps towards your destiny: appear in crowded places, and not just go to work and visit old friends.

Magic love spells help speed up your meeting with your loved one. They perform rituals independently or turn to fortune tellers.

The heart is already taken

You have decided that you want a relationship, a young man has appeared who you like very much. Now let's speculate. You have a young man, you have feelings for him, and you are waiting for him to take the initiative to develop a relationship. Maybe it’s better to look around and chat with the guys around you? It is possible that at the moment, while you are fixated on one guy, another young man is also pining for you and does not dare to have closer communication, because he knows that your heart is occupied by someone else. This situation occurs very often, therefore, if your heart is busy, then you may not wait for a new relationship.

A simple psychology test for a girl

“Am I ready for a relationship?”

To understand whether a girl needs a young man right now, American psychologists created a simple test “Am I ready for a relationship.” By answering 5 simple questions and counting the points, the girl will be able to understand whether he is ready to meet a guy, or whether the time has not yet come.


  • Do you agree with the statement “Without love, life is meaningless”?

A) Yes

B) No

B) Partly

  • Where can you meet the man of your dreams?

A) On the Internet

B) At a disco, in a nightclub

B) Almost everywhere

  • What attracts you most in men?

A) Appearance

B) Material well-being

B) His personality and lifestyle

  • Imagine your first date, what it will be like:

A) Going to a cafe or restaurant

B) Meeting in the city, visiting an entertainment center

B) I don’t know, we’ll come to an agreement ourselves. (I'll let the man choose)

  • Why do you need a relationship with a man?

A) Everyone has..., this is the norm

B) Bored alone, no one to go out with?

C) It's time to build a serious relationship and start a family.

So, for each answer (A) 1 point is awarded, for answer (B) 2 points, and for answer (C) 3 points.

If you scored from 5 to 7 points:

You do not have a clear idea of ​​why you need a relationship; you are not yet ready for a mature relationship of cooperation and love. If you want to meet a man, then only because of the example of your friends and relatives. Don't rush, your time to fall in love has not yet come. Don't worry, everything is ahead of you.

From 7 to 10 points:

For you, having a relationship means status, prestige. You should not consider a man as property and protection from all adversity. In a harmonious relationship there should be both support and care from the woman. Your selfishness prevents you from building long-lasting relationships. Most likely, you meet men, but the relationship is too short-lived. Learn not only to take, but also to give.

From 10 to 15 points:

Are you not married yet? Strangely, usually women with this position in life are completely ready for a relationship and are happy in marriage or long-term relationships. If you are still single, don’t despair, you are completely ready for a relationship.

Small social circle

The question often arises, why don't you have a boyfriend? Perhaps you don't notice it? There are a lot of guys around, but you don’t want to see the right one. And the reason for it all is that you only communicate with 2-3 girlfriends, and that’s where your communication ends. What's the problem? The point is that you simply need to expand your social circle, resume communication with old acquaintances, start meeting people on the street, attend public events, and so on... By following this advice and meeting new people, you will have a better chance of meeting your potential partner.

There is no guy at 15-16 years old, how to answer the question?

At the age of 15–16, every second girl experiences the feeling of falling in love for the first time. It is at this age that the first love relationships appear. But, unfortunately, first love rarely develops into real feelings. Dating a boy at this age is the norm. But why is there no guy at 15, 16 years old? Young people at this age have already gone through a period when a girl should be a friend and like-minded person. Here they choose primarily based on external features, that is, the brighter the bird’s plumage, the faster it will be noticed.

Psychologists surveyed 100 young people aged 15 to 16 years old and found out which girl they would not like to date.

So, boys don't like:

  • Ungroomed girls, in dirty clothes, sloppy.
  • Moody, whiny and annoying.
  • Smoking, drinking.
  • Angry, envious and bilious.
  • Promiscuous in relationships with the opposite sex.

So, to understand why there is no boyfriend at 15-16 years old, you need to dig a little into yourself; if 2-3 years ago young people needed a smart girlfriend, now they need a beautiful picture. If a girl understands that she really looks bad, then hard work on herself is required. Even if at this age you cannot find a guy, then with a good figure and well-groomed appearance it will be easier to do this in the future.

So, when planning to meet a guy, every girl would do well to:

  • Get rid of extra pounds, if you have them.
  • Visit the dentist, get your teeth treated and achieve a perfect smile.
  • Visit a hairdresser-stylist and choose a hairstyle that emphasizes the girl’s advantages.
  • Look through fashion magazines, get acquainted with fashion trends. If possible, visit a stylist.
  • Understand that bad habits do not make a girl beautiful. You shouldn't even start smoking or drinking. It is better to engage in sports - aerobics, sports dancing or jogging. These activities will have a beneficial effect on your figure, health and well-being.

Thus, by the age of 15 or 16, a girl, having worked on her appearance, has a better chance of finding a guy. But don’t forget about the “content”. A dumb beauty is less likely to find a guy than a smart girl with average looks.

You also need to understand that the reason for the absence of a boyfriend lies not only in the girl herself; many young people of this age are simply afraid to start a relationship.

Even if relationships with the opposite sex do not work out, do not despair, you can meet your love at any age. The most important thing is to learn to understand what we expect from relationships and why they are needed.

Picking the Wrong Guy

You are not fixated on a particular young man and you have a large number of acquaintances of the opposite sex who may well be suitable for a relationship. Only with closer communication they turned out to be not so good. A cheerful and sociable boy may turn out to be a great friend, but in a relationship he can greatly disappoint you. Then you will fall in love with the bad guy. Of course, everyone gets a kind of pleasure from experiencing some kind of danger and feeling it from a person, but its excessiveness has a very bad effect on relationships. Why do I advise you to reconsider your views on men, if whomever you choose turns out to be womanizers, assholes, assholes, and so on...

I'm beautiful, but there's no guy next to me, does that mean I'm Scary?

Am I not worthy of Love?

Beautiful doesn't mean happy. A girl may be unattractive, but at the same time she is happy in her relationship. Every woman is worthy of love, but for this it is necessary to acquire adequate self-esteem, know your strengths and weaknesses and understand that every woman is worthy of love.

To accept yourself, there is one psychological exercise - it is tough, but effective. To be loved by others, you need to learn to love yourself. Every day for 20 days it is necessary to perform exercises to increase women's self-esteem and understand the aspect that any woman is worthy of love.

This requires:

  • Every morning in front of the mirror, give yourself 3 compliments, from the heart. Not just “I’m cute,” “I have beautiful, expressive eyes,” “I’m an interesting conversationalist,” “I’m worthy of the love of a wealthy man.” Praise yourself and wish yourself to meet a good man.
  • Write your main advantages on a piece of paper, then re-read them, and after each repeat “I am worthy of love.” For example, “I have a rank in chess, I am worthy of love,” “I quit smoking last month, I am worthy of love.”
  • Regularly practice the “mirror smile” - take out your pocket mirror every two hours and sincerely smile at your image.

20 days of this training work wonders; more than 80% of women who completed it were able to let love into their lives and find a man.

Perception like a tomboy

Why isn't there a guy? You get along great with guys and they see you as a friend, not a girlfriend. I began to notice that your communication with male friends is becoming more “brotherly”. From time to time it is worth reminding them that you are still a girl. Show off your femininity and use girlish tricks. Never forget that the strongest and most favorable relationships arise after true friendship, which has grown into strong love.

Main conclusions

To be happy and loved, remember simple rules:

  • always and everywhere be well-groomed and tidy;
  • respect others;
  • smile sincerely at passers-by;
  • enjoy every day;
  • be calm and patient;
  • learn to manage emotions;
  • engage in self-education, self-education;
  • don't look back to the past;
  • Taking into account your own mistakes and mistakes, move forward.

Some girls, tired of loneliness, are content with short-term relationships. Relationships will be frivolous and romances will be short if:

  1. There is no sense of self-esteem. The willingness to tolerate any male representative around is contemptible. If a woman loses her self-esteem, you can forget about a serious relationship with a man. Guys don't like girls who don't like themselves.
  2. A friend is easily accessible. The romance develops rapidly: a short period of courtship gives way to intimacy, which is inevitably followed by a breakup. Permissiveness is good for frivolous relationships. Look for true love - know how to pause, keep your distance.
  3. Excessive unavailability will also negatively affect the duration of a romantic relationship. A categorical refusal of any physical intimacy or kisses causes bewilderment and disappointment among the stronger sex, accustomed to winning lightning victories. Anyone who plans a long life together in marriage is able to patiently wait for favor.
  4. There is no unity of views, interests, and moral principles. The character of a guy you like externally may turn out to be completely different from what your imagination draws. If a girl is planning a serious relationship, counting on respect, support, attention, and the guy wants to have fun, the relationship will end as soon as it begins. The goals of the partners must be in tune.

“Why do all my friends around have boyfriends, but I don’t,” thinks an attractive girl, once again experiencing a breakup with her chosen one. The answer is obvious. The young lady forgets about the mistakes she has made, stepping on the same rake again and again.

Complex nature

It was previously said that a young man can act as a good friend, but be a terrible partner in a relationship. The same may apply to you. Guys speak well of you as a friend, perceive you as a charming, sweet girl, but as you get closer to each other, something begins to push them away. Perhaps you are being rude or overbearing and they don't like it. Analyze negative character traits and rework them. After getting rid of them, you will not be kept waiting for the attention of guys.

How to understand that a guy likes you?

Psychologists pay attention to several proven signs of sympathy on the part of a young guy for a girl:

  • Periodically casts an awkward, shy glance. In the presence of a girl he likes, he becomes visibly embarrassed and blushes.
  • He tries to touch you with words, to make you laugh.
  • Performs “surveillance” on social networks. Sends emoticons, messages, likes posts, photos.
  • Tries to attract attention in company with loud conversations, jokes, and stories.
  • Invites to meet. This could be going to the movies or going to a mutual friend's birthday.
  • More and more often he gives compliments and not only about his appearance. He begins to trust more, tells his secrets, shares his innermost thoughts.
  • He tries to casually touch, take by the hand, hug.

Excessive requirements

Every person in childhood listened to fairy tales and watched cartoons with the fairy-tale lives of the main characters. High expectations begin to emerge in childhood. As we grow older, we never stop expecting a beautiful life and an ideal life partner. This is the advantage of fairy tales: they distract from real life, which is full of problems and disappointments. In real life, people have not only positive sides, but also a lot of disadvantages. Because of this, excessive demands do not make it possible to adequately perceive the guys around us, and at the same time, presenting us not as the most desirable princesses, but as grumpy old grandmothers.

What to do if you like a guy?

  • Act like a guerrilla. First, collect as much information as possible about him. Everything is subject to study: clothing style, interests, hobbies, social circle, etc. There can be no trifles in this matter.
  • Casting bait. It’s good if the guy you like is your classmate, colleague, neighbor, or you attend the same sports section together. Then you can simply ask for help or support.
  • All in. You can start dating first. This could be an SMS, a call, or just come up and directly confess your feelings. But in this case you need to be prepared for refusal. You can write the letter by hand. Now this is very rare.
  • The image is a magnet. Contact has been established. The guy began to persistently show interest and signs of attention, he should pay attention to his appearance. Manicure, pedicure, well-groomed hair, alluring gaze, “delicious” aroma of perfume. Change jeans and sneakers to dresses and skirts.

Heightened self-esteem

In some cases, increased demands on the opposite sex cause inflated self-esteem. Self-love is a very important skill and vital, beware of elevating yourself above others. Narcissistic girls put guys on guard and, in most cases, push them away. Popular wisdom says: “The juiciest and most delicious apples do not always grow on the crowns of trees.” Now remember what happens to those fruits that are not picked from the tree? They remain on the branches and begin to overripe and eventually spoil.

If a guy ignores, what should I do?

The reasons for ignoring can be different. Psychologists give some advice. First you need to analyze your behavior, maybe something has become unsatisfactory for him in the relationship. The young man decided to step back for a while and think.

You should not call and try to find out why he is avoiding meetings. If a guy doesn’t want to make contact, you should leave him alone and go about your daily business. You need to let him be alone for a few days or spend it with friends.

If a girl is dear to him, then he will try to restore the relationship. Every relationship experiences periods of estrangement and uncertainty. If the pause is somewhat prolonged, then you can have a frank conversation and find out what you are not happy with.

If a guy decides to end the relationship, then life does not end. As they say, you won’t be nice by force. You need to be able to let go and give another person the right to choose.


Not only high self-esteem can ruin the emergence of a serious relationship, but also low self-esteem. If a girl underestimates herself, she develops complexes and becomes embarrassed. Can't speak, smile, look into the eyes. But it is thanks to these signs that a man determines whether he is interesting to you or not, before taking the initiative to meet you. This means you need to learn to love yourself and avoid embarrassment in front of the opposite sex.

What to do if you love a guy, but he doesn’t love you: behavior during non-reciprocal love

At what age is it difficult to find a boyfriend or a man?

Girls, if you are asking this question, then understand that even at 70 years old you can find a man. The main thing is to understand that you are worthy of love, you are capable of giving your love to a man, you want to be happy and make a man happy with yourself.

There is a misconception that after 35 years it is almost impossible to find a man, but look how many women there are around who have found a couple after 35, even after 50 and 60 years.

Age is not a criterion. It's important to understand what a relationship is for and what you can bring to it. If a woman is always ready to support, inspire and love a man, then building a harmonious relationship is not a problem for her at any age.

Take care of yourself

Do you think that the previous points have no connection with you, but the guy still doesn’t exist? Therefore, the problem is not in your internal state, but in your appearance. Guys are more likely to pay attention to a well-groomed, beautiful girl than to an unkempt, ugly girl. A lot depends on the ability to present yourself correctly. To do this, you need to emphasize your strengths and hide your shortcomings, be cheerful and charismatic, and you will definitely not be left without attention. Of course, everyone wants to be appreciated for our inner peace and kind heart. But the reality is that they are greeted by their clothes, but escorted by their minds!

If you don't have a boyfriend, what do you think you should do? Share your thoughts in the comments.

What prevents you from being happy

Let's look at specific situations.

There's no free space in my heart

The person you like is distant and unavailable. Relationships don't work out, and feelings don't go away. Miracles, of course, happen in real life, but much less often than in fairy tales.

There is a place in the soul for one loved one. It could be:

  • a former lover with whom the relationship ended, but hope remained;
  • the ideal image of a father, brother, relative;
  • Close relationships with mother and sister are sometimes also an obstacle to happiness. The place in the heart is occupied.

If your efforts are wasted, don't waste your time. It’s better to look around carefully, stop thinking about the past, and let in new feelings.

Limited social circle

Habit is second nature and hard to break. If you communicate with the same people every day: neighbors, work colleagues, relatives, girlfriends, your “betrothed” will not appear. Established stereotypes are difficult to change. For some you are just a pleasant neighbor, for others you are an interesting conversationalist, for others you are a valuable employee. There are no romantic relationships and there cannot be.

To break the usual circle of familiar faces, you need to change your habits. Swap a meeting with friends for a visit to a fitness club. Instead of discussing a new project after finishing a working day, go to an exhibition, a museum or a cinema. On the weekend, go not to your parents’ dacha, but on a boat excursion.

Incorrect choice

“Why do all my friends have boyfriends, but I don’t,” the girl thinks, starting to hastily look for a couple. Dreaming of surpassing her friends, she chooses cheerful, pretty, sociable ones. And he forgets about the main thing: respect, sincerity and decency. As a result, like the old woman from the famous fairy tale by A.S. Pushkin, she finds herself with nothing.

If you want a deep relationship, take your time with the choice, change your tastes and preferences regarding men.

Little femininity

Perhaps there are a lot of young people around you with whom you can have a good time, go on a picnic, or ride a motorcycle. Amazing. However, we should not forget about the feminine essence. And from time to time show weakness and defenselessness so that your friends look with different eyes and see in front of them not only a reliable friend, but also a wonderful girl.

Sometimes love is born from friendship. Such relationships will be strong and reliable, because they are time-tested.

Personal qualities

Often, pretty, slender girls painfully search for the answer to the question: “Why don’t I still have a boyfriend?” To find the answer, analyze unsuccessful attempts to build relationships. If the acquaintance ends after the first meeting, and the situation repeats itself, engage in introspection. Pay attention to the qualities that repel men:

irritability over trifles;

  • hysteria;
  • vulgar appearance;
  • rudeness in conversation;
  • commercialism and greed;
  • obsessive talkativeness;
  • arrogance;
  • shyness and reticence.

It is difficult, but possible, to objectively assess your own strengths and weaknesses. Be extremely frank and self-critical, otherwise a happy meeting will remain an unfulfilled dream.

Excessive demands on the chosen one

As a child, every girl dreams of becoming a princess, dreams of finding a fairy-tale prince. Growing up, he became interested in romantic stories and read romance novels. Ideas about an ideal partner are at odds with reality. I want someone nearby who is handsome, rich, kind, loving... The advantages can be listed endlessly, but I don’t want to put up with the shortcomings. Forgetting that there are no ideal people, you risk wasting your life on a useless search and being left alone.

What to do if there is no boyfriend? It is possible to simply lower the bar of requirements for the future satellite.

Biased self-esteem

Self-esteem is one of the most important human qualities, which affects career growth, internal harmony, and personal life.

Inflated self-esteem prevents you from adequately assessing your own personality. The girl becomes a narcissistic egoist. A contemptuous look, a mocking smile, and speeches of praise to one’s beloved are not conducive to communication. The highest step on the pedestal is designed for one. Therefore, considering yourself a standard, you risk being left in splendid isolation.

The problem begins in childhood. The only child in the family becomes the object of universal adoration. Permissiveness and increased attention make the girl a narcissistic egoist who considers others unworthy of attention.

When a girl overcomes selfishness and egocentrism, she will see how many good people there are around. And he will definitely find his one and only.

Low self-esteem is the other side of the same coin. Only now others become role models. The girl is overcome by complexes and doubts. Shyness makes you shy away from guys, makes it difficult to get to know each other, look them in the eye, or carry on a conversation. The result is loneliness, melancholy, depression.

Self-esteem is the result of upbringing. If your parents made a mistake, educate yourself.

Disregard for appearance

Thinking that a rich inner world completely compensates for shortcomings in appearance, sloppiness, and indifference to appearance, you can be left without a partner for a long time. Of course, appearances can be deceiving. However, to get to know a person’s soul, to evaluate intelligence, character, and habits, it takes time. To start communicating, you need to attract attention, get to know each other, and be able to keep them close.

Therefore, be guided by the principle: “Everything in a person (and especially in a woman) should be beautiful.” The hero of Turgenev’s novel said very correctly: “You can be a efficient person and think about the beauty of your nails.”

Intelligence, kindness, and moral principles cannot interfere with taking care of your appearance.

Negative childhood experiences

Parents' relationships influence the formation of the child's personality. If a girl grows up in a single-parent family and sees constant scandals and quarrels, male representatives become enemies. Resentment towards the father is subconsciously transferred to the surrounding guys. The fear of repeating the fate of the mother makes one avoid making acquaintances and avoid young people.

To solve the problem, you need to stop projecting the negative experiences of your parents onto your own destiny. Remember examples of happy marriages and believe in luck.

Bitter experience

It happens that the betrayal of a loved one inflicts a deep mental wound, which gives rise to complexes and deprives one of confidence. The girl looks for a reason in her own behavior, isolates herself from new acquaintances, preferring to be alone.

Only by getting rid of painful memories can you move on.

Fear of intimacy

Perhaps the girl subconsciously avoids close relationships, avoids guys, because she has already experienced psychological trauma and disappointment. Fearing that it will hurt again, he does not make new acquaintances. Thus, he tries to create a safe personal space.

Sometimes a girl doesn’t want to leave her comfort zone and coziness. Lives by the principle: “Better a bird in the hand than a pie in the sky.” The uncertainty that accompanies meeting a man frightens a girl accustomed to loneliness.

Harmful installations

If a person wants to believe in something, he will look for and find confirmation of his beliefs (even erroneous ones). If a girl thinks:

  • decent men are busy;
  • there are only women around;
  • marriage will make you unhappy;
  • external data is far from perfect;
  • It’s better to live, live for yourself, your beloved,

it will act accordingly:

  • seeing ideal guys in love with girlfriends;
  • notice only women when meeting;
  • focus on unhappy marriages;
  • consider your own weaknesses as unforgivable vices;
  • find pleasure in spending time alone.

Once you stop feeding false attitudes with examples, they will disappear. Real life will turn out to be much more attractive than far-fetched myths.

What to give a guy for his birthday

Birthday gifts are selected for each person based on his needs, taking into account his personal preferences. It can be:

  • Emotions and impressions. A gift in the form of entertainment: a game of bowling, flying on a wind tube, jumping on a trampoline, a subscription to the gym or swimming pool.
  • New experience and the opportunity to gain knowledge. This could be a master class depending on the guy’s interests: extreme or horse riding lessons, acting or boxing.
  • Romance. Offer an unforgettable romantic dinner by candlelight with good wine, a role-playing game or a walk along the rooftops of the city at night (such excursions are practiced in St. Petersburg). It will be unexpected and will cause not only excitement, but also a storm of exciting emotions.

Some people prefer to give practical and useful things:

  • For lovers of nature and hiking - a tent or thermal underwear;
  • For an athlete - a fitness bracelet;
  • For a coffee lover - an exclusive coffee maker or coffee pot with a pack of expensive gourmet coffee;
  • For fisherman - spinning;
  • The photographer needs a professional camera.

In fact, it doesn’t matter what the gift is, the main thing is, as historian Thomas Fuller said, “A gift given with a smile is doubly valuable.”

DIY gift for boyfriend. Original gift

The best gift is the one that is made with your own hands, because everyone understands that time was spent on its creation and a piece of soul was invested in it.

Top 10 gifts that you can make with your own hands:

  • Sweet gift: homemade cake or original cookies.
  • An album with photographs of a love story and short stories to accompany them will preserve romance for many years.
  • Coffee mug. You can take an ordinary mug and cover it with coffee beans, then varnish it.
  • A picture drawn or made by hand.
  • From an old toy - a new stand for a mobile phone.
  • Place love notes in balloons and give the guy the opportunity to pop them and receive pleasant words from his beloved.
  • Master the patchwork technique and invent an original postcard.

How to kiss a guy correctly

In the art of kissing, it's not how you do it, but who you do it with. How to make your first kiss unforgettable? First of all, lips should be fragrant and tender. This requires constant lip care. Before a date, you need to brush your teeth thoroughly to avoid bad breath.

When kissing, you should pay attention to the movements of your hands. This could include touching the face, stroking the back or neck.

The main thing when having a first kiss is to create a romantic atmosphere. This should be a secluded place where no one will disturb you. A cozy atmosphere, dim lighting and candles will add solemnity and mystery to an intimate moment.

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