When the analysis of past relationships begins or nostalgia overwhelms you and you want to remember how it all began. Often a person comes to the conclusion that past experiences are somewhat similar. All events seem to develop in a circle and always go through the same stages of relationships. This is a natural process for healthy relationships, which must go through all periods of relationship development in order to become even stronger.
Why do relationships go through stages of development?
The harmonious development of a couple must go through different stages of building a relationship. It is impossible to always be content with sweets and bouquets, long walks under the moon and always relationships and meetings several times a week. Of course, this is a convenient format, but it is impossible to build long and lasting relationships on it.
Attachment is formed at the stage of falling in love, hormones are overflowing, it seems as if the world stops without a loved one. Gradually, passions fade, wild sex is replaced by marital duty, children appear and everything becomes ordinary and gray. From the outside it may seem that the couple is stuck at one stage of development and nothing further happens. The transformation of a couple’s relationship takes place according to its own scenario, with its own speed and characteristics, despite the fact that the stages of development are the same for everyone.
It’s hard to deny that everyone changes with age, demands become greater, complaints appear, and at this moment you need to grow and develop along with the relationship. If you neglect to work on the union, you can stop at the first stages forever. It is quite logical that then a break will occur and the relationship will cease to exist.
Every couple should know what stages of relationship building there are, what makes them special and how to get through them in order to maintain a harmonious relationship.
Candy-bouquet period
This is exactly what I talked about at the beginning of the article. At first, a spark runs between you, you are in the clouds, there is real romance around the two of you, and this continues for an average of 1.5 years! Yes, it’s stupid to run to the registry office during this period and swear eternal love. Hormones are raging in your body, which is why you see the world in bright pink colors! It seems to you that you know your partner very well, everything that he does seems amazing and beautiful to you. You seem to be in some kind of intoxication. Don't rush into life-changing decisions. Sooner or later your rose-colored glasses will fall off and you will be faced with reality. Unfortunately, most often it is not as rosy as it seemed.
First stage3
Relationships begin from this stage, and sometimes end there. The easiest stage is when lovers see only advantages in each other, the partner seems like a fairy-tale hero, a real prince or princess, about whom everyone had dreams. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest, your cheeks are burning, your eyes are sparkling, you want to take each other’s hand and walk for a long time, not to separate even for a few minutes. At this time, even a small sweet SMS delights you and time slows down when there is not a single news from your loved one on your phone.
Guys behave like courageous knights and are ready to do anything to win the heart of their beloved lady. Girls tend to idealize the image of their lover. It's quite normal. When you don’t really know a person, haven’t seen him in everyday life, or in conflict situations, it’s easier to come up with an airy image and endow him with the desired qualities.
Every date is perceived as the most important meeting, for which they spend hours preparing. The state of being in love is inspiring, you want to shout to the whole world about love, write poetry, admire an ideal relationship and a wonderful person nearby. No one can fill the emotional hunger from lack of communication with a loved one. If the relationship is interrupted at this stage, then it will forever remain in memory as the best relationship in which everything was perfect.
Respect.
When people have gone through a number of tests together, get to know each other well, and have learned to accept their partners as they are, the fifth stage of the relationship begins.
It is characterized by a tight platonic attachment, the formation of a reserve of gratitude and trust. Partners easily share thoughts or feelings and understand each other’s needs.
What to do:
Now much less energy is spent on relationships. Having spiritual independence and respect for your partner, you can delve deeper into self-development. It is important to put the resources you have into action, avoiding despondency. It is advisable for everyone to have their own outlet.
Take the jealousy test
Second stage4
The onset of the second stage with satiety is inevitable. Communication brings the same pleasure, you no longer need to spend every minute together. At the second stage of the relationship, you no longer need to go everywhere together and visiting friends and events separately becomes normal. Leisure is becoming less romantic; evenings can now be spent lying together on the couch watching your favorite movie or TV series. Gradually, passions subside, and every minute of anticipation of intimacy is not perceived as a disaster.
Relations have become more harmonious, calm, everything is going smoothly. Partners reveal themselves and show their strengths and weaknesses. The veil of love gradually subsides, small flaws and character flaws become noticeable.
Everyone begins to behave more naturally; there is no longer a need to praise the partner for every joke or action. Communication remains just as warm, surprises excite and pleasantly delight. Emotions have become more stable, relationships are developing smoothly and nothing threatens to break up. Development at this stage resembles a hungry traveler who has already eaten his fill of the first fruits and becomes calm and balanced, well-fed and satisfied.
Third stage5
An important and crisis period that all couples who have been dating for several years or young spouses come to. There comes a turning point in the relationship and all problems become impossible to hide. Every movement, an incorrectly spoken word, an inappropriate joke could previously touch you, but now they cause an instant explosion of emotions and a stream of reproaches with a response. A loved one and close person causes negative emotions, he becomes imperfect, behaves in a way that he did not allow before. The romance has gone, perhaps children have appeared, and it has become impossible to see the same face in front of you every day.
The duration of the period depends on the duration of the relationship, the temperament of the partners, their wisdom and ability to evaluate everything critically from the outside and understand that this is a normal stage. You don't have to act like your partner. Getting irritated in response to actions and starting to scream heart-rendingly for every crumb on the table is not the best option. Most couples break down at this stage. Thoughts come that the partner cannot satisfy all the needs and the choice in his favor was wrong. Everything happens due to the lack of nourishing, intoxicating emotions that previously delighted the brain.
Refusing the alliance and breaking off the relationship is the easiest way. The new partner will delight you just as much and then everything will happen again. If you don’t want to constantly break off relationships and spend your whole life finding new partners, you need to learn to go through the third stage and move on to the next stage of development.
Fourth stage6
Overcoming the crisis stage is behind us. Problems become less noticeable, wisdom and understanding gradually comes that you can come to an agreement with your loved one and find a solution to any problems. Understanding comes to someone who is more mature, mature, morally prepared and mature for relationships. You need to share and understand that at this stage you need not to endure and think that everything will change, everyone has endured and I can do it, but to resolve conflicts wisely and be able to turn a blind eye to not minor irritating factors.
The big problem is to look at the world with negativity and constantly convince yourself that others are to blame for your problems. There must be a realization that half of the blame for problems and quarrels in partnerships lies with both partners. Previously, it seemed that the relationship had reached a dead end, and not a day went by without quarrels and problems. Now quarrels have become different, rare and associated more with external stimuli. Problems at work, women's menstrual cycle, sudden car breakdown and other irritants provoke quarrels. It's more like taking out your emotions on your partner to make it feel better.
Patience and wisdom, like threads, sew relationships together in those places where they are constantly torn. Just don’t confuse patience with bullying, beatings, moral violence in the family and patience with minor shortcomings. In the first case, you need to call the police, and not hope that your partner will suddenly have an epiphany and understand what he is doing wrong. You need to work on your ego, be able to overestimate changes in your partner, his needs and desires. Let there be no more romantic aura, no one greets you from work at the office door with a bouquet of flowers. There is a reliable partner nearby who has been tested in many situations and wisely resolves minor conflicts without showering you with hundreds of caustic words. At this stage, a person truly opens up and the success of the transition to the fifth stage depends on how he is perceived and accepted.
Service
A wonderful stage in which the participants in the relationship begin to enjoy the free gift of their love. Concessions are not a burden to them, and they have learned to accept manifestations of their partner’s shortcomings calmly or even with humor. The couple knows how to get away from conflict and how to prevent it in the bud.
At this level, love becomes stronger, calmness and tranquility reign at home. People simply live for each other and watch how their relationships develop. They give care and do not think about whether they will receive an equal amount of it in return. Although this will inevitably happen.
Truly adult individuals who have grown spiritually to find a real family - the way it should be - can reach this stage. Mutual assistance and service to each other is a kind of motto of such relations.
Fifth stage7
Learning to realize the uniqueness of a partner, his needs, desires, and feeling a duty to him are the first steps towards true Love in its highest manifestation. Love is already on the threshold and waiting to be let into the house. There comes a clear awareness of the fact that the spouse is not an ethereal being, which is woven from clouds and tenderness. A living person with problems, worries, thoughts, claims and, on understanding the duty to him, the success of the relationship in the future depends.
He is imperfect, but he loves me, tolerates me, understands me. Acting the same way towards your spouse is a duty and a primary responsibility. I no longer want to scream over little things, there are no scandals due to the lack of candles and romance. It becomes clear that in order to receive benefits you need to put in your own efforts, and not rely on your partner and expect actions from him.
At this stage, one realizes the duty to the family and children. Maintaining an undying family hearth, a delicious dinner, the wisdom and understanding of a partner, time together, the desire to develop and find answers to all questions are the key to success at the fifth stage. Trainings, consultations with a psychologist, books will help you find answers to all your questions. You need to constantly work not only on relationships, but also on personal development. Maintaining interest in yourself and being a harmonious complement to your partner is something without which it will not be possible to maintain a relationship for many decades.
Introduction: what is love
Every girl from her youth dreams of a prince, then of a popular singer, of a Hollywood actor. We are brought up on books and films that glorify romance and tender feelings. But often in real life we encounter completely different pictures - discontent, mutual claims, disappointed expectations, and jealousy appear. But you can’t give up, because real strong relationships need to be built and protected.
Initially, any connection is formed by two individualists, egoists - everyone wants to receive, but has not yet learned to give and find compromises. Initially, both the guy and the girl are not equipped to understand the values of an outsider, and only respect, friendship or passion keeps them together.
There is nothing wrong with this; you need to understand that a person is, first of all, a biological being, which means that he is also driven by instincts, one of which is reproduction. Sexual attraction, interest in a partner at the level of smell (the body emits pheromones) can develop into something more over time if people are suitable for each other on an intellectual and cultural level, and also have a need for spiritual intimacy.
Remember that you cannot force your lover to change, he will feel pressure and instinctively begins to resist it. But over time, as we go through the stages of development of relations between a man and a woman, everyone begins to transform, first of all, his feelings and needs develop, and his values also improve, and his psychological state stabilizes. Thus, people who learn to find compromises during quarrels and controversial situations begin to understand that their opinions coincide, as do their interests and views. Thus, stronger feelings than falling in love arise.
Sixth stage8
The penultimate stage of a relationship, in which partners become not just lovers, parents, but true friends. There comes a time when another unwashed cup no longer causes an explosion of emotions, sex is not so bright, but emotional intimacy covers everything in full. These are two truly close people who steadfastly withstood all the hardships and difficulties, found the secrets of understanding, fulfilled their duty to their children, went through all the temptations and stayed together. This is where the desired fairy tale comes in, in which “they lived happily ever after” best describes the state of things.
Although a person has been known for a long time, there are new traits and virtues for which one can respect, admire, glorify and be proud. Love has not yet reached the stage of highest meaning, but is already very close to it. Two people talk cheerfully and openly, ready to spend time together. Relationships are built on dedication, boundless trust and defense of common interests.
Seventh stage9
Absolute love. The highest point of development of a couple to which one should strive. What is called love at the first stage is not love at all. At the beginning of a relationship, it is love, passion, a desire to physically possess a person, supported by a cocktail of hormones.
It is impossible to arrive at the seventh stage immediately after falling in love. It takes years for a seed to grow into a beautiful flower that will delight you with its beauty and perfection for a long time. The same thing happens with relationships. One comes to higher love through trials, insults, quarrels, and misunderstandings. You shouldn’t be afraid of trials and constantly look back and think that the most beautiful and pure emotions remained in the first stages of a relationship. Now it is clear that the most important, most important, spiritual unification comes as a reward for all the hardships.
It is not difficult to meet and fall in love with a beautiful image in which everything is perfect and seems so perfect and perfect. The most difficult thing is to try to develop relationships, look for the causes of quarrels and ways to resolve conflicts. All relationships are similar to each other and go through the path of transformation from infatuation to absolute love. This is the most difficult work that takes great spiritual strength and requires endurance and perseverance. It would be appropriate to compare the development of relationships and their development with a tree, which at first emerges as a small sprout and only after many decades begins to delight with its lush crown and beauty, is securely anchored by its roots in the ground and no natural element can destroy it.
How to win a man
If you follow simple rules, then winning a man will not be difficult for you.
- Take care of yourself, take care of your hair, face and hands;
- Makeup should not be too bright. Emphasize eyebrows, eyes, slightly moisturize lips;
- Be neat, natural, friendly. Smile more often, give positivity to others;
- Find common ground with a man - common topics, common acquaintances, hobbies.
Your main advantage is confidence in yourself and your attractiveness.
