Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman - 6 rules for a happy relationship

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is a vast topic that can be discussed endlessly and never come to a common denominator. As a psychologist, I studied the theory of relationships for several years, and then in practice, working with clients who are in problematic relationships or on the verge of breaking up, I identified several of the most important rules of relationships that can be easily applied in practice to achieve mutual understanding and long happy lives. years of marriage.

In this article, I will tell you what you should never do in a relationship. You will learn three forbidden tricks, as well as six rules of what you need to do if you dream of building a healthy, harmonious relationship. What men and women want, what they fear, and what they dream about in relationships – you will find out in this article.

So, the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman.

The needs of a man and a woman in a relationship

Both men and women need to understand each other’s needs and strive to satisfy them. A woman should understand what a man needs and try to give it to him, and a man should try to satisfy the woman’s needs. In some cases this is not easy to do, but it is necessary to strive for it. That is, this should not happen when everyone owes each other and no one owes anything to anyone, when everyone lives for themselves and does not think about their partner. And even more so, it shouldn’t happen when a man and a woman try to impose a lot of obligations on each other and insist on fulfilling them. If a man and a woman decide to parasitize each other, they will not be able to have any normal relationship. But there will be plenty of scandals, quarrels and mutual accusations. So you shouldn’t even try to build something with this approach to relationships. You either change and stop being selfish, selfish, or be content with those relationships in which you simply cannot live comfortably. So, take a close look at your partner's goals and desires to understand what he or she wants from you and what you should expect from him or her. It is quite possible that in addition to basic needs, your man or your woman needs a lot more from you. And think carefully about your goals and desires so as not to demand too much from your partner, but try to get from him only what you really need. Now I’m not talking about the desires and dreams of a man and a woman, which we need to try to satisfy, because people have an infinite number of desires, and it is impossible to satisfy them all. But be sure to think about each other’s normal, natural needs - think about how to satisfy them. Let not all your expectations from the relationship be met, but if you are a smart person - a smart woman or a smart man, you will not make excessive demands on your partner. But I repeat once again - the minimum needs of people must be satisfied! Otherwise, there is little point in having a serious relationship. A serious relationship is a responsibility, and not everyone is ready to take on it. And if people do not want to take responsibility for each other and do not plan to do something for each other, then their relationships will be fragile, unstable, and generally meaningless. Why build a relationship with a person if you are not going to do anything for him, and if you expect from him what he or she cannot give you? In this case, you can do without a serious relationship. To satisfy the same need for sex, a relationship is, in principle, optional. Well, as for other needs, to satisfy which men and women build relationships with each other, they will be discussed below.

Top 5 men with whom it is better not to start.

No matter how a woman tries to build a serious relationship, she must understand that not everything depends on her. There are men who are not ready for this, at least not yet.

Macho.

A gaze, perfume with pheromones, a characteristic gait. He is generous with treats and compliments. The only drawback is that he needs a girl for one night. Or for a month, but then two.

Prince.

He is romantic and generous. Considers it his duty to patronize and care for a woman. But the likelihood is too great that over time such a man will turn into a jealous person and a despot.

Simpleton.

Such a man is not ready to become a wall and take the place of a defender, because he himself is looking for such a wall. He is well-mannered and responsive, and will most likely want to create a mother-son relationship.

Free guy.

He is not used to reporting what he will do in the evening, and tomorrow, and in general. Communication with such a guy is full of adventures and bright moments. But he will be the first to leave. Ego comes first.

Communication

One of the basic human needs is the need for communication. Therefore, be sure to pay attention to communication with each other when you build a relationship with the opposite sex. Without communication, a person is not a person. Communication between a man and a woman should be frequent and deep, and it should exist at all. Very often, people simply do not notice each other from the moment they begin to live together, not to mention any intense communication with the help of which a man and a woman maintain interest in each other. Understand the main thing - communication is necessary for a person. And it’s better if your woman or your man communicates with you and not with other people. Communication will bring you closer, and its absence will distance you from each other. Even if you have different interests and different views on life in some ways, it’s okay, you should still find something in common that is interesting for both of you, and communicate on this topic. I recommend that women yield to a man in this matter, find something interesting for themselves in his interests, and communicate with him on this topic as often as possible. So communication is like sex - if it is there, and it is normal, then everything will be fine with the relationship, but if it is not there, expect problems.

What can ruin warm, friendly and loving relationships?

Anything can be destroyed very easily. For example, any behavior that causes mistrust, some kind of deception, some kind of reticence/understatement, ignoring. If a woman needs affection and attention, but her needs are not met, she is sulky/offended, then these are already the first stages of destruction. If a man needs attention, support and belittle him as he is, and a woman demands something from him (to change, for example), does not understand, throws a lot of hysterics, is always dissatisfied, and he needs peace, then again, all these nuances ( unsatisfactory needs of partners) lead to a lack of warmth and to the destruction of relationships, no matter whether they are friendly or romantic.

Partnership between a man and a woman

This is a very important point that not all people pay attention to. And to you, dear readers, I recommend that you pay attention to it. We are talking about partnerships between a man and a woman. Whatever relationship you build with the opposite sex, if you want it to be serious, strong and long-lasting, it must include a partnership between you and your man or woman. Many people, I repeat, do not attach importance to this relationship, but I believe, based on my experience, that a man and a woman, especially if they are husband and wife, must be partners, in addition to everything else. They are one team that must have common goals and agreed upon ways to achieve those goals. Therefore, a man and a woman should be a support for each other, they should be at the same time, they should support each other and help each other in difficult situations. So there must be a common cause, there must be common goals, so that people - men and women - have the most in common, so that they are interested in each other and are useful to each other on many issues. A man and a woman must understand that together they are strong, and they need to use this strength as a bonding agent in the foundation of their relationship. In general, a man and a woman should have a common life, and not so that one lives his life and achieves his goals, and the other, the other, his own. Common interests, common goals, common views on many things, maybe not all, but many - this is what makes relationships strong and lasting.

Useful video

From this video you will learn what a serious relationship is and how to build one?

Any, the most stormy and passionate romance one day subsides, and it depends only on two people whether there will be anything left after the hurricane of feelings.

When it is almost impossible to imagine your life without a certain person, when you want to share any joy and sadness with your other half, and instead of “I”, “we” is increasingly pronounced - mature and conscious relationships come.

Mental and emotional closeness, care and concern for a loved one become a solid foundation on which you can build a serious relationship.

Sex

Well, what can I say - sex is sex, without it it is difficult to imagine a full-fledged relationship between a man and a woman, unless we are talking about friendly relationships that do not involve developing into a more serious relationship. But friendship between a man and a woman, you know, is a rare phenomenon in life, and not because this friendship itself is somehow wrong, but because people of different sexes are not always perfect for such friendship. So whatever you say, sex is our everything! Therefore, there should not be a shortage of sex; one of the basic human needs must be satisfied constantly. And this need must be satisfied beautifully, efficiently, and interestingly. But I don’t recommend doing any stupid things. There are women who blackmail their husbands with sex. These, friends, are very stupid women who themselves do not understand what they are doing. With these rash actions they destroy the foundation of family relationships - undermining self-confidence, showing disrespect for a man for whom a woman’s refusal to have sex is a great insult, and sowing hostility in their own home. No blackmail, be it sex or divorce, is acceptable for a normal relationship! If you don't want to live in a constant state of war with your partner, eliminate all blackmail from your life. Otherwise, do not rely on an unhappy fate when you find yourself at the “broken trough” to which you will lead yourself. Normal, regular sexual relations between a man and a woman are a prerequisite for a normal and lasting relationship between them. There is no need to idealize sex, as people with sexual disorders do; sex is not the main thing, it is one of the main conditions for normal relationships. Therefore, take into account each other’s desires to the extent you can, and try to satisfy them in a timely manner. No matter what anyone says, in most cases, problems with sex inevitably turn into problems in the relationship between a man and a woman, no matter how developed and advanced people they are. Consider this fact in your life.

What a man gets from a harmonious relationship5

• A beautiful, smart, economical woman next to a man is his reflection, status, a reason for pride. A woman reflects a man’s success; if she is amazing and all her colleagues and friends are biting their elbows with envy, then he is not so simple, there is something special in him that keeps his amazing partner close. And where there is an increase in status, there is an increase in self-esteem.
• Comfort in everyday life. Without a housewife, you will have to keep the house clean or hire a cleaning company. And so everything is always on the shelves, neatly, tidied up, decorations and decorative elements, flowers are placed.
• Everything that used to lie in dirty heaps in the middle of the room is now automatically put into the washing machine and skillfully sorted by color. There is no longer any need to waste time solving everyday issues and looking for something tasty, everything is ready and on the table.
• Emotional comfort. Despite the stinginess of emotions and external coldness at work, at home there is someone to talk to, watch a TV series, discuss common goals, problems, or just talk about nothing.
• Care, attention, understanding, tenderness, love - a woman gives everything to the one she loves. Even a stern and brutal man will be pleased to return to where he is most desired and always loved, no matter what.

• Constant sex. High-quality and permanent, without wasting time looking for girls outside of work and home.
• Awareness of the value and importance of his contribution to the development of the family. A wise woman will not miss the chance to show a man how important tone is, that the family rests on it, that he is the breadwinner and the head. Thus, he feels needed and important.
• Love and children. This point is already clear. The highest emotions and the most valuable thing - procreation is given only by a woman.
• Reliable rear and loyal friend. A physically and morally faithful woman is admired at all times. Awareness of the fact that there is always a place where you want to return gives a feeling of stability. With a good friend in life, you are not afraid to go either to the mountains, or to the desert, or to space.
• Inspiration for new achievements. For the sake of women they built and destroyed, burned cities and started wars, wrote the greatest books and paintings. A woman who knows how to inspire and inspire will help you build a career, believe in yourself, achieve success in all matters and be there not because it is profitable, but because you believe.

If there is a right and dear person nearby, who, instead of escalating the situation, cares and helps relieve stress, it is easy and simple to communicate with him, be constantly nearby and understand the significance and importance of building a life together, then the question: what meaning in the relationship will never arise.

And if it arises in your head more and more often, and you already have a partner nearby, then you should reconsider all of the above and evaluate your existing experience in a new way, so as not to waste time.

But you can find out what is most important in a relationship by reading our article below.

Scandals

Scandals must be avoided at all costs! And to do this, you need to stop enjoying them. What, you want to say that you don’t get any pleasure from scandals, that they happen on their own, due to various objective reasons? Don't deceive yourself, and especially not me. I am an experienced person, I know that a scandal requires not a reason, but a reason. It’s just that some people do not always realize that they themselves provoke quarrels and scandals in relationships because they want them to happen, because thanks to these scandals and quarrels, people feed on negative energy and throw out the aggression that overwhelms them on their partner, instead of pacifying it . People who are not burdened with moral and cultural education, as well as intellectual development, need to express aggression. Man is an aggressive creature, so if he is, let’s say, not entirely reasonable, not intelligent enough, he needs to vent his aggression somewhere, somehow. Let's assume that you are one of these people and it is difficult for you to catch up, it is difficult for you to become less aggressive and more patient with other people. So be it, it’s not a problem, to hell with this upbringing and intelligence - at least try not to throw out your aggression on those people who are truly dear to you. And as I understand it, your beloved man or your beloved woman is still a person dear to you, who clearly does not deserve to be growled at him or her. Close people should become saints for you! There is no need to make scandals with those with whom you are in the same boat. There are such absurd situations in which people argue with each other for no reason, and having understood these situations a little, you understand that the problem is not worth a damn, and there is so much anger, so much hatred, so many negative emotions and aggression around it, as if it were about the opposition of the worst enemies to each other, and not about people who should actually love each other. In general, dear readers, please note that it is not problems in relationships that provoke scandals, but scandals that create problems in relationships between a man and a woman. As soon as you begin to approach the issue of scandals from this position, and not from the position of who is right and who is wrong, you will reduce their number in your life many times over. But don’t forget that scandals cannot be completely avoided, so don’t strive for a non-existent ideal. A pinch of pepper should be present in any relationship - it gives them flavor.

Main stages of relationship development

I will highlight 3 main periods in building relationships between the sexes.

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Love

Approximately – the first three years of communication. At this time, the sore spot is occupied by the idealization of the partner, the desire to always be together.

Signs characteristic of men at this stage

• Excessive courage. The lover wants to show his chosen one what he is ready to do for her. Or prove that behind him she will be like behind a stone wall.
• Attentiveness. More than ever, he bestows his beloved with care, affection, attention, and always finds time to meet.
• Focus on your appearance. He takes care of himself, goes to the gym, and keeps his body in good shape.
• Declarations of love. Only during the period of falling in love can a representative of the stronger half, without hesitation, talk about what he feels.
• Romance. The lover strives to surprise the lady of his heart, giving her unforgettable emotions.
• Sparkles in the eyes. The eyes of the person who has fallen in love literally glow with inspiration and energy.

Signs of a woman

• Increased activity. She seems to be constantly on an emotional high, in a good mood and is able to do a lot of things quickly and easily.
• Softness. Even those whose character is called difficult become more friendly and compliant.
• The desire to create comfort around oneself. The keeper of the hearth awakens in a girl in love.
• Critical attitude towards appearance. Representatives of the fair sex tend to hide imperfections as much as possible and experiment with makeup, hairstyle and clothing style. She pays special attention to everything related to external data.

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman after falling in love - what comes next

1. Stage of unjustified expectations.

As a rule, after 3 years the couple discovers difficulties. Ideal ideas about the other half are replaced by awareness of the partner’s shortcomings and disappointment to one degree or another. At this time, the most important thing is to look for compromises. Not everyone copes successfully with this period. But those who find the strength to continue building relationships move to a new level.

2. Acceptance.

Having gone through the test of harsh reality, lovers come to the point that they accept the other with all the pros and cons, learn to adapt and appreciate who they are together, and not separately.

3 Harmony.

Few reach this stage. Harmonious relationships can be characterized by the fact that no one seeks to remake anyone according to their own patterns. Compromise solutions have been found in most issues. Along with synergy in joint activities, there is also personal freedom for everyone.

Male dominance

Perhaps for some, my opinion, gained through years of working with people, will seem old-fashioned, but I believe that the leadership of a man in the family should not be disputed, it should be welcomed and supported in every possible way. A man should be the main one in any serious relationship with a woman, and the woman will only get better from this male dominance! But provided that we are talking about a normal man who wants and is ready to take responsibility for his decisions, who is not so selfish as to think only about himself and for whom a relationship with a woman is a value, and not just an opportunity to satisfy some of his needs and desires.

Equality is equality, but in relationships between a man and a woman, someone must be more important in order to be responsible for the direction of these relationships, not allowing them to develop spontaneously. In my opinion, a man is better suited for this role because he is more practical and his brain is sharpened to constantly solve problems. Of course, under the same condition that the man is normal, smart, and not some kind of idiot. And a woman already adapts to such a man’s dominance and acts more like an adviser, whose wise instructions and attention to detail allow a man to better analyze his decisions in certain situations. So the point is not that a woman should submit to a man in everything and not have the right to vote, and generally be a thing for him. No way. You can’t build anything serious on someone’s oppression of someone else. It’s just that a man is most often better suited to the role of head of the family! There are exceptions, including forced ones, but they are exceptions. And not because a man should be in charge because I want it that way or because all men want it to be that way, but because nature also intended it that way. In it, every man from birth is a leader, warrior, hunter. Education, of course, can seriously distort these natural inclinations, but the main thing is that they exist and they can and should be cultivated in a person, in this case in a man. And if a woman wants to have a normal man next to her, with whom it is beneficial to maintain a close relationship, on whom you can rely, she should help him be who he is according to his destiny, and not turn him into a weakling with her aggression and dominion. Even without this, most men have been deformed since childhood and have always been deformed, mainly at work, when they are forced to meekly submit to their superiors, who are always right in everything. Hierarchical laws break the psyche of many people who are forced to suppress their leadership qualities, love of freedom, and self-esteem in order to adapt to society and the team. Parents also often harm their children when their attitude towards them turns them into people completely unadapted to life. Often, improperly raised men are not able to build a relationship with a woman at all, and for them this is a big problem, because of which they suffer. Such people, of course, cannot be trusted with power in the family, and even in not very serious relationships they cannot be leaders because they are too morally weak. But I think it’s necessary to give a man a chance to be a man. A mentally broken man in the house is like furniture, there seems to be some benefit, but no independence.

So, if it so happens that a man is not a “lion” in the big world, then let him at least be one in his own family. But no frills. If he cannot cope with this role, then, of course, there is no point in idolizing him. But then the relationship takes on a very unsightly form when a woman has to become the man in the relationship, taking on leadership responsibilities. Therefore, addressing women, I want to say that there is no need to push a man under your thumb if he has leadership potential. Don't make it into something that will make you sick. If a man adapts to a woman, if he is afraid of losing her, if he tries to please her in everything, not paying attention to her attitude towards himself, then he will cease to be a man and most likely will lose his woman over time. Well, what a woman will get from such a relationship in which she, and not her man, will dominate can be understood from numerous examples from life when relationships between people do not develop in the best way and the man in such a family often causes severe irritation in the woman. A man must feel like a leader, or even better be one, in order to function normally, so to speak. Otherwise, it is of little use. So, taking out the trash and replacing the faucet in the kitchen will do.

What does a woman get in a harmonious relationship?

Relationships are akin to a contract, where everyone receives their share of benefits and pleasant bonuses:

• Increased self-esteem. Without a good man who will complement a woman, she becomes sad and lonely. All around are friends with guys, and she is beautiful, not stupid, but lonely. A long period of soul-searching and self-destruction begins. The appearance of a reliable and worthy partner in life guarantees an increase in status in the eyes of friends and relatives, and, consequently, self-esteem.

• The woman is getting better. Physical fitness is constantly adjusted in the gym. Outwardly, she blossoms, glows with happiness, strives to show the best in her, is actively involved in hobbies and charity work, and becomes more emotionally stable. A man, positively assessing the changes, gives her confidence and new strength in the struggle for perfection.
• There is no emotional hunger. In the absence of a long-term relationship, it becomes urgently necessary to feel care, understanding, support, and simply talk with someone about love and feelings, to share experiences. The appearance of a man brings a rich emotional component, joint goals and aspirations appear, and there is someone to tell about painful issues.
• Psychological comfort from the knowledge that there is a couple. These are no longer two different people, but a new group, a small team. A woman feels more comfortable from childhood under the care of her parents, and then her husband. And the status of an unfree woman brings the psyche into a state of peace and gives a feeling of satisfaction and peace.
• Having children only strengthens a stable relationship. A woman begins to fully feel like a mother, she has a new role, new instincts are activated, accumulating strength for a further breakthrough to the goal.
• Motherhood and raising children together gives stable hormonal levels and a stable psyche, and develops an adequate response to stimuli.
• The security and stability guaranteed by a reliable partner cannot be replaced by anyone. She always feels comfortable with a reliable person. In any situation, she knows that she will be protected and will not be allowed to offend her family and children.
• High-quality and regular sex is also important for health and fullness of life.

Relationships in which two individuals complement and saturate each other with emotions bring only benefits. They don’t make you tired, they don’t make you stressed, it’s comfortable and convenient, it’s easy, as if it’s always been this way. A woman with a good partner feels comfortable, reliable, has someone to talk and dream with, someone to support and listen to about the hardships of life.

Taking care of each other

When a person truly values ​​something or someone, he cares about it. We take care of what is dear to us! And we don’t feel sorry for losing only what we don’t need or what we have a lot of in our lives. Therefore, if we need a person for a serious relationship, we cannot help but take care of him. When a man forces a woman to work from morning to night, when he doesn’t take care of her at all, he doesn’t care about her! He doesn't appreciate her! With such an attitude towards a person, it is simply impossible to talk about any kind of serious relationship, even if he gives her flowers from time to time and buys her expensive trinkets. And the situation is exactly the same with a woman who forces her husband to work more and more, not paying attention to his health, as long as he brings home a lot of money, which she spends mainly on herself. Such a woman doesn’t care about her man, she doesn’t value him! Often, women don’t even care that their man is an alcoholic, as long as he works. Well, is this a normal relationship? Yes, this is not a relationship at all - this is parasitism. If you don’t care about your woman or your man, don’t count on any kind of normal relationship with this woman or man. Such a house of cards will definitely collapse.

Psychology of relationships: women's secrets

Don't betray each other. It is imperative to be faithful in the family. If you are not satisfied with your sexual relationship, be sure to talk to your partner and tell him what you would like.

Psychology of relationships, women's secrets:

• Respect your partner, even if his hobby is not suitable for you, or you consider it too extreme. In any case, you must respect your partner.
• Be sure to trust your lover. Under no circumstances should you be equal to other partners or acquaintances. Never compare your man with others, don’t say: “But my friend Alena has a husband who is economical, helps her, but you don’t help me.” Everyone has their own relationship, and such jokes only worsen mutual understanding between partners.
• Support a person, even when he feels bad , if some misfortune has happened. People should be together not only in happiness, but also in sorrow. Give your man a kind word and a hug. Be sure to try to see the good in the bad. They say that the situation cannot be changed, but you can change your attitude towards it. This is the opinion of psychologists.
• Very often scandals arise about a partner's untidiness. Men love to leave behind mugs in the kitchen or scattered socks. Now think about whether you are impeccable and always behave correctly. Most likely not, perhaps the man is simply turning a blind eye to your shortcomings.

Love
Teach to listen to each other. You need to let your partner talk. This is more difficult for men than for women, so you must be able to listen to your lover. Try to constantly nourish the relationship. Emotional recharging is needed, as a joy, a gift or a surprise. Try to arrange surprises for your man, such as a family dinner or a romantic trip.

Love

And finally, Her Majesty love! You know, dear readers, I could tell you a lot more about the relationship between a man and a woman, but let’s finish the discussion of this topic within the framework of this article, after all, with the most important thing - love. If she is love, there is, then all of the above and much more, on which the relationship between a man and a woman depends, will be in perfect order. If you love a person, you will try to do everything for him! And if not, then no advice will help you. No psychologist can help, much less make you fall in love with a person; love starts in your heart and then reaches your mind. Therefore, you must not only feel, but also understand whether you love a person or not. If you love, then this is good, it means that you will do everything for your relationship with him, the best that you are capable of. As for him or her, let them decide for themselves how and with what to respond to your love. You won’t be nice by force, so don’t demand that people love you in return. And in general, listen to the advice of one wise man who once told me that the main thing is not that you love, but that you are loved! If they love you, then you will love someone who sincerely loves you - with bright and pure love, provided that you love not only with your heart, but also with your mind. And also provided that you are generally capable of loving someone other than yourself. For true love, friends, you need to grow up. After all, an immature, essentially childish mind is selfish, while a mature and developed mind is capable of thinking not only about itself, but also about others. We are too selfish beings, so when we are not developed enough intellectually, it is unusual for us to think about other people, we think only about ourselves. Relationships based on this selfishness will not be strong, they will lack true love - sacrificial love. But when you appreciate with your heart and mind the feelings of another person for you and are able to love him because he loves you, then you will have real, great love, which will allow you to create strong and lasting relationships. Isn't this happiness, friends?

I sincerely wish you just such a relationship, based on pure and bright love, but not without natural flaws! I understand that these relationships will never be perfect, because both men and women, as was already said at the very beginning of this article, are different. Each person has his own shortcomings, which will inevitably determine his attitude towards other people. And in each specific case, the relationship between a man and a woman will have its own characteristics. However, by adhering to the advice I have given you in this article, you, dear readers, will be able to avoid many unnecessary mistakes, neither for you nor for your relationship, because of which these relationships may suffer. A man and a woman are different parts of a single whole. And when they live together, they should complement each other, not fight each other for dominance, for the opportunity to ride on the other’s neck, but rather complement each other, when one puts one thing into the relationship, and the other another. Then such relationships will be strong and durable.

What indicates readiness for them?

The main factor of any union is a strong and tender feeling . No couple can have a long and happy relationship experience without feelings of love, tenderness and respect.

Important! But distinguishing love from infatuation, especially at the very beginning of a relationship, is quite difficult.

Answering the following questions will help you understand your emotions::

• Do you feel protected and safe around your partner?
• Do you have a desire to share your experiences and emotions?
• Do you feel like you “speak the same language” and your views on life coincide?
• can you imagine your union after 1, 5, 10 years of marriage?
• Are you ready to sacrifice something important for the sake of a common future?
• Do you agree to support your partner during financial difficulties or health problems?

If all questions are given a confident positive answer, then the relationship has every chance of developing into a long-term serious relationship . If it is difficult to give a definite answer to some questions, or if there are a large number of “no” answers, the relationship cannot be called serious.

Any relationship is a “tango for two.” Both partners must have the desire and desire for common long-term plans for life .

For your information! There is a metaphor that love is a distance of 20 steps with a barrier in the middle, and everyone in a couple must walk their 10 steps.

Where does happiness go?

It is difficult to imagine a happier event than a wedding. Sweet bride, elegant groom, gifts, flowers, joyful faces of guests, sentimental tears of parents.

Looking at loving young couples, I can’t even believe that statistics predict a sad ending for half of them. Why?

When starting a family, people expect to create a paradise for themselves and their loved ones. They become isolated, withdrawn, isolated from society, the energy of which each of the spouses fed before the wedding.

People begin to see that they can be happy in isolation from society. This is a harmful stereotype for a married couple, giving rise to behavioral characteristics that are aimed only at two spouses. For modern married couples, boredom is one of the destructive factors. A person has a constant need to receive information from the outside.

Spending a lot of time alone, the quality of their communication decreases among spouses, in return for which dissatisfaction increases. Attempts to solve family problems without turning to society end in failure. Many psychologists argue that the family should live for society and become an integral part of it.

Parable about ideal people

One day, an ideal young man went in search of a woman worthy of himself. He spent many years searching, traveled to many countries and returned to his native land with nothing. He was met by friends who managed to have families and children during this time.

They had one question for the already middle-aged man: “Is it really that that worthy ideal woman has not been found in the whole world?” The man replied that there was such a woman that they even talked, but after talking, she went in search of the ideal man.

We treat our partners with a consumerism, as we expect an ideal match from them. But it would be more productive to look at yourself, identify your shortcomings and try to change yourself for the better. Then it will become easier to learn to understand and forgive your partner.

To preserve your feelings, you need to make efforts on yourself during difficult periods. Every forgiveness, understanding, concession, condescension and even sacrifice is what is called love. Yes, this is work, but one that can be done through joint efforts.