How to let go of the person you love: 3 steps

After parting with your loved one, it seems like the end of the world has come. A person feels inner emptiness, the meaning of existence is lost. Joys and landmarks disappear. Simple internal and external changes will help you begin to enjoy freedom and love yourself again.

How to let a person go from the soul, life - what does this mean?

Letting a person go from your life does not mean taking and forgetting the person once and for all. Let's look at what it means to let someone go:

letting go means becoming free from it;
be able to forgive;
say thank you for everything, because there were also good moments that you experienced;
you should not control his life, monitor what he does, track his life on social networks;
start enjoying life;
open up to new people, because there will be a person who will love you and you will love him all your life.

Letting go means becoming free

Is it possible to let go of a loved one easily?

At first glance, it seems that letting go of a loved one is very easy, you just need to break the connection, but no, it is much more difficult. To break a connection with a person, you must first understand how you feel about him and why he has sunk into your soul.

If a person did something bad to you, or hurt you, then you will involuntarily feel a sense of resentment. This feeling destroys a person; it is difficult to live with this burden on the soul and needs to be gotten rid of. The first thing you should do to easily let go of your loved one is to forgive him , at first it will not be easy, but time heals, and in the near future it will become easier.
Very often, when people start dating, they attribute qualities to each other that they do not possess. Against this background, expectations begin to form that may not always be met. In such a situation, you fall in love and get used not to the person himself, but to the created image. There is no need to create illusions, you need to accept a person as he is, and everyone has shortcomings.
There are often people who are owners who believe: if it’s mine, then it’s mine. But people are not things that can only belong to one person, people belong to themselves, and have the right to do as they want. If a person decides to leave you, then he has the right to do so , accept his choice and continue to live for yourself .
Another reason why separation is difficult for a person is that he tries in every possible way to keep or return his loved one. In this situation, you do not open up to other people, meetings, you live in the past. Do not do this. There are several sayings about this: “You can’t be nice by force.” “If you endure it, you will fall in love.” Rave. Now, if, for example, you are forcibly offered something to do something that you do not want, or to eat something that you do not like, you will not love it even by force. Trying to keep someone by force will just make you look pathetic, become depressed, lose interest in life and finally waste valuable time . You should only get the person back if you are sure that he is also suffering from the breakup.
Thank your loved one for the happy moments you had. It is very important .

It is for these reasons that it is difficult to forget the feelings you had for a person, hopes for the future and the person himself. After going through a breakup, people gain an experience that will last a lifetime. Even if this experience is painful, you don’t need to look for blame in space or fate, you just need to stop getting attached to people and learn to build other relationships.

If you want to understand what is truly yours, let go of everything, and what is yours will remain with you

Why is it so hard to let go?

Why hold on to anything at all? To feel stable when you are not sure of yours.

Have you seen a baby who is about to take his first steps? He already walks well, holding on to his parent’s hand, wall or sofa, but has not yet decided to tear himself away from the support. If at this moment you give him a piece of paper and grab it, he will calmly step on his own (at such a young age, the child is able to focus on only one thing, and in this case it is the tactile sensation of an object that he can hold onto The baby is not yet able to see the illusory nature of the circumstances as a whole).

We adults also desperately need a feeling of support. And even if the support turns out to be imaginary (which you don’t want to realize), it will be scary to let go of it.

We are tied to our chosen one by our own expectations, that this particular person will satisfy all our needs, and that it is with him that happiness is possible.

When starting a relationship, we, willingly or unwillingly, draw pictures of a future together. And if the partner suddenly leaves, this supposed future collapses before our eyes, and the certainty that they managed to cling to is again replaced by the unknown - and this is scary.

When fleeing from anxiety, there is a great temptation (which often happens) to grab onto the last thread - hope, which is then extremely difficult to get rid of. On it you can swing the pendulum of your experiences for a long time and painfully: from fantasies and attempts to return your loved one to disappointment and resentment.

How to let a person go from your thoughts, heart: tips

To free consciousness, a person needs to let go of the past correctly. To do this, you should let the person go from your thoughts, but first you need to go through several stages:

The first and most important thing is emotions. You need to let them out, not keep them inside. You can get angry, cry, scream. This will be the first step to letting the person go from your thoughts;
Sincerely wish your ex happiness. Mentally say thank you to this person for everything, and move on with your life;
There is no need to look for the guilty, or delve into yourself, you just need to calm down;
Many girls, having gone through a breakup, decide to radically change their appearance: dye and cut their hair, change their wardrobe, and lifestyle. You can start going to the gym, this will give you self-confidence;
We need to delete the past, in the truest sense of the word. Change your number so as not to wait for a call from your ex, put it away or even throw away all the gifts, photos together and not get carried away with sad films; on the contrary, watch light films, comedies only with a good ending;
Write your desires in a notebook or on a piece of paper and start making them come true;
If you feel better when you eat cake or ice cream, eat it;
Start traveling. New experiences are the best way to let someone go.
Dream of true love with someone new.

If you let go of the past, you will get the future
. Learn to enjoy life and see happiness in the little things. If you follow all these steps, you will definitely feel better. The whole process may take some time, the sooner you start, the faster you will free yourself from this burden. A relationship should be a joy for both.

How to let a person go: advice from a psychologist

When a person is unable to cope independently from thoughts, from the pain caused by a relationship, when he has reached a dead end, it is better to turn to a qualified psychologist. It is the psychologist who will be able to help.

You need to tell the specialist as much information as possible so that he can provide you with more complete assistance—help, not support. There is no need to hide anything from him, be open with him. It is very important to go through all the stages of breaking up a relationship with a person so that in the future your emotions do not get the better of you.

Attachment is negative energy

Psychologist's advice:

Most often, psychologists advise starting to devote more time to loved ones and relatives, because your loved one took up most of your time, and there was no time left for others. Go visit your relatives, spend the weekend with them, go out of town.
Invite your girlfriend to the cinema, sit with her in a cafe, spend time and money on shopping, go to an amusement park and ride a carousel, you need new emotions, a complete reboot. The next important advice that psychologists give is to find a hobby, a new hobby, maybe even open a business, become a volunteer or care for homeless pets, help orphans. Psychologists say that feelings of resentment will crowd out true love for a cause or others.
Meditation. This method of psychotherapy is one of the most common ways to clear your mind of everything unnecessary, because after a breakup, a person, and mostly girls, begin to think that they will never be able to truly love again, because they are afraid to experience pain again, a feeling of loss , inseparability. But without love, life becomes gray and not very interesting.
There is no need to engage in self-flagellation, you need to start therapy with the help of meditation, the methods of which we will discuss in more detail a little below. Based on all the advice, in conclusion, psychologists advise finding harmony. In order to protect yourself in the future from relationships that destroy your life, you need to learn to live in harmony with yourself. You can meet a real, worthy person only if you accept and love yourself.

Only by loving yourself will you find harmony

Career instead of relationships

There are girls who plunge headlong into their careers. They think that they don’t need relationships, that work comes first, but in fact, in this way they are trying to “close themselves off” from failures in their personal lives.

So what happens then? They immerse themselves in projects for a long time, achieving professional heights and career growth. And only after a few years they notice that everything is just fine in their career!

In my career, but not in relationships with men. I don't recommend doing this. This doesn’t mean that it’s bad to be passionate about something or your favorite job, no. But it is very important not to lie to yourself and honestly answer the question: “What motivates me?”

It is important not to ignore your negative feelings, hiding behind the desire for self-realization. They need to be worked through. Only then will you be able to consciously choose what to do next. For example, to build the same career - but not in order to prove something to someone or to forget, but with healthier, more meaningful feelings.

How to let a person go: rules of meditation, exercises

There are two effective ways of meditation, let's look at them. The first method is aimed at yourself:

First you need to find a quiet, secluded place so that no one can disturb you.
Take a comfortable position and dim the lights. Psychologists advise using scented candles with soothing scents, such as orange, cedar, lavender, ylang-ylang, bergamot, mint, incense.
Close your eyes and concentrate. Focus on your breathing, it should be rhythmic, inhale and exhale, and inhale and exhale again. This breathing exercise will be pleasant for your body.
Your thoughts will most likely distract you. This is normal. But still try to concentrate and feel yourself. You must find in which part of the body the feeling is hidden - love. When you find it, radiate warmth from there and try to give it to a loved one or animal.
Having completed all the steps correctly, you will feel warmth in the part of the body in which you found love. You will want to do something good for the person or animal to whom you have directed the light of your love.

The best remedy for resentment is forgiveness.
The second method is aimed at breaking the connection between people.

Sit comfortably in a quiet place, calm down and concentrate.
Closing your eyes, imagine that you are at the top of the mountain, and your offender is at the foot.
Concentrate on it, imagine it in front of you in flesh, down to the smallest detail.
Try to feel everything you feel for him.
Feel what connects you, a thin thread or a thick rope, what part of the body this thread connects.
Try to analyze what this person lacks, like character traits, core, courage.
Imagine another person in front of you who has all the qualities. How did you feel? Joy? Warm? You felt pleasant and cozy.
Stay focused, lift your head up and look at the sky. Turn to the Lord with a request to give you a person with those qualities that the previous person did not possess.
Ask someone like this stranger who made you smile in your subconscious.
Then look at the man at the foot of the mountain, he no longer seems to you like God, whom you exalted above everyone, he is now just a gray mouse.
If you want, you can talk to him, he gave you any experience. You can ask him for forgiveness, even if he himself is to blame, and forgive him.
Now you will feel the connection between you breaking, cut it or cut it with scissors, exhale, now you are free.

Do this exercise every day, and then you will feel that love has crowded out resentment from your heart and thoughts. No matter how much we love a person, sometimes there are times when we need to let him go. There is no need to resist it, do not be afraid of the new. It's better to just let it go.

Useful practice

Most likely, you think that when the person leaves, you will lose the ability to love (“he broke my heart,” “he tore it out and took it with him”). It is important to realize that this is not the case. Love is a wonderful feeling that will always be with you . To get back to a healthy feeling of love and happiness, try the following exercise:

When left alone, sit comfortably in a chair (there should be no extraneous noise or bright light).
Close your eyes and concentrate. Where is your feeling, your ability to love?
Find this place and then fix your attention.
Now imagine that a glow is emanating from this point. Point it at a cat or dog, a child, a wall, or a plant.
What do you want to do?

Surely you will feel the desire to clean up the house, please your child with sweets, or walk the dog (depending on where the “light” was directed). Do the practice daily, and soon the painful feeling of resentment will replace real, joyful love for others.