How to understand that you love a person: we understand our feelings. Do you love a person or not: advice

Relationships bring both partners a whole storm of vivid emotions: a kind of madness, euphoria, passion, sexual attraction, tenderness, tenderness, regret, sadness. Habits, affection, compassion, and care arise, which are very difficult to distinguish from sincere love. When you feel sympathy or love, you are probably pursuing some goals, and when you fall in love, you are ready to sacrifice and give. Both specially developed methods and testing will allow you to understand that you truly and deeply love a person. If understanding your feelings on your own turns out to be a difficult task, you can contact me by signing up for my consultation, and I will help you systematize your thoughts, emotions, experiences and give answers to many questions.

How to understand the truth of your feelings

What is love? It can't just come out of nowhere. There is a phrase: “Falling in love at first sight”, this is not true. In fact, to understand whether you need a person, whether I love him, it’s not so easy to understand. Perhaps it’s just sympathy, or maybe it’s a feeling of falling in love; it will be possible to determine exactly after a certain time. My personal opinion is that you can understand the sincerity of your feelings only if you listen to your heart and soul... no matter how crazy it may sound.

Nonverbal signs in girls

Signs of love in women are completely different. As you know, female logic is the absence of any logic, therefore the signs of her love can sometimes be very contradictory, but clear. These signs in women appear as follows:

• playing with eyes;
• attracting attention;
• excessive care and guardianship;
• modesty and shyness;
• glow from within or extreme absent-mindedness;
• showing attention to the affairs of your man;
• increased attention to your appearance and wardrobe;
• mysterious behavior;
• smoothness and femininity of movements;
• manifestation of sexuality.

Love or affection? How to determine

Very dire consequences can arise if we do not determine in time what is happening to us. Do we love a person, or are we still attached to him because of our habit. Over time, we get used to our partner. We begin to miss him, we remember ridiculous moments with each other, we remember his smell, the timbre of his voice, his wishes before going to bed. Underneath all this, we may not be able to grasp what feeling really overcame us: love or infatuation.

The danger is that if you marry such a person, you are taking a very big risk. You risk dooming yourself to an unhappy life, and all because over time you will begin to misunderstand each other, you will begin to be more and more disappointed in your partner. The problem will be your attachment, because attachment very thinly borders on such an understanding as dependence. Agree, addiction already sounds alarming. For us, a person really becomes like a drug. And we need constant nourishment of his presence in our lives. It looks unhealthy. If you understand your true feelings in time, you can make the right decision. And avoid the bitterness of fate.

Attachment is dangerous because it is difficult to distinguish it from love. It is expressed in support, care, compassion and empathy for the person for whom we have feelings. Unfortunately, when we fall in love, we are guided not by our sincere desires, but most often by fears of losing our object of adoration. If a girl is attached to a guy, all her actions will be tense, she will be more withdrawn, holding back her emotions and trying to please her partner in everything. And all this will happen because of the fear of losing a loved one.

And now the question. During real love and sincere feelings, is it worth pretending? Is there a reason to hide your emotions, desires, control your every step..? NO... Love is a sincere feeling in which you are ready to share your emotions, every piece of your life with him for free. You don't even think about what you will get in response. You are glad that you show him your attention and see your boyfriend’s sincere smile and his loving eyes in response.

Love, first of all, is sincerity and relaxation towards the person for whom you have feelings. You can check your feelings for your chosen one by answering just one question, but you need to answer honestly. You shouldn't lie to yourself. What exactly makes you have feelings for him? If this is affection, then these will be values ​​that represent wealth, status, everything that is not related to love:

• Material values.
• A sense of responsibility for your partner. Responsibility is implied not as a girl's boyfriend or vice versa, but as a “parent” - “child”.
• Loneliness. One of our biggest fears as women. We are afraid to remain unwanted, and then we are afraid to get used to another partner.
• Comfort zone. We get used to our partner, the environment, our attitude towards ourselves. And we are not ready to change all this.
• Feeling of gratitude. We believe that we are obliged to a person and try to answer him in kind.
• Guilt. Often we believe that the guy helped us get out of our apathy, not noticing how we ended up in a new one, only with addiction.

When it's love, you don't care about his well-being, don't care about his social status and where he lives. Love is a selfless feeling that provides the opportunity to drown in your feelings for your partner while being next to him.

Is the root of the problem your childhood?

No one can accidentally become a woman who loves too much. There are predictable patterns that made them what they are. The following characteristics are typical of women who love too much. This is what your childhood was most likely like:

• Typically, you grew up in a dysfunctional family where your emotional needs were not met (physical abuse of a spouse and/or children, inappropriate sexual behavior of one parent towards a child, ranging from corruption to incest; constant arguments and tension; excessively harsh requirements for income, religious education, work, daily routine, blind passion for sex, television, housework, sports, politics, etc.)
• Having received little real warmth and affection in childhood, you try to satisfy your need indirectly, becoming overly tender and caring - especially towards men who seem to need it.
• Since you were never able to change your parents and get warmth and affection from them, you react sharply to the type of emotionally unavailable man you know. You are again trying to change him with your love .
• Fearing his departure, you are ready to do anything to save the relationship from falling apart.
• Your self-esteem is at a critically low level . Internally, you don't believe that you deserve happiness; rather, you believe that you must earn the right to enjoy life.
• You may be emotionally and sometimes biochemically predisposed to addiction to drugs, alcohol and/or certain foods, especially sweets.
• When you get close to people whose problems need solving, or when you find yourself in chaotic, uncertain, and emotionally distressing situations, you avoid thinking about taking responsibility for your personal life .
• You may be prone to periods of depression , which you try to prevent with the help of nervous excitement that occurs in unstable relationships.
• You are not attracted to kind, reliable, stable men who are interested in you . You find these "nice guys" boring.

How to understand that your loved one loves you

After all, only mutual love can be happy, and everyone wants to be sure that their sympathy does not go unanswered. And even when, it seems, your relationship is developing quite normally, sometimes doubts about reciprocal feelings continue to gnaw at your soul. After all, you want to be sure that they love you, and not just spend time with you or, even worse, use your love for some unknown purposes of their own. So is there any way to really understand your partner's feelings?

Infatuation and love. So similar and so different

Even if you suddenly notice that your partner is beginning to grow cold towards you. You should not rush to accuse him of deceiving you. The fact is that it is quite possible that what you took for love on his part was just a short-term infatuation with falling in love. And at the same time, he himself could be quite sure that he really loves you. But some time passed, the first sensations dulled, and this feeling gradually faded away. Yes, unfortunately, this happens quite often. However, this can happen to you too. This is why it is so important to distinguish between these two feelings, which are so similar at the first stage, in order to really understand that you are loved. What is the difference between them?

If you notice that your partner is trying to idealize you and endow you with all sorts of virtues that you may not possess, then you should be wary. This is certainly pleasant, but this is not love, but just falling in love. And then, when the first veil falls from your eyes, your partner may be very disappointed, sad as it may be. Therefore, don’t try to seem better than you really are; you still won’t be able to deceive yourself and others for long.

But true love, it does not come as quickly as falling in love, but at the same time you can be sure that the person evaluates you quite soberly, well understanding all your shortcomings, along with your merits, and accepting you at the same time. This feeling may not seem as joyful and easy to you as falling in love, but you can be 100 percent confident in your partner, as well as in the fact that they will not suddenly leave you when circumstances change.

Does your partner care about you?

Perhaps this is the best way to be sure of your partner’s love. How to understand that you are loved? Yes, very simple. A loving partner will care about how you feel, whether you are cold, whether you had time to have lunch. He will try to present you with pleasant surprises and not only on your Birthday or New Year, but just like that, so that your mood is lifted. And even if it is just a small plush bunny, this gift will contain all the love and tenderness that your partner feels for you.

Does your partner share his thoughts and desires with you?

Another great indicator that you're loved isn't your partner asking you what you want, although that certainly does that too. But a much more important sign is that he initiates you into his dreams, plans and desires. If you are allowed into your worries and worries, then this is an obvious sign that your partner completely trusts you, and, therefore, you can not doubt his sincere feelings.

Relationship with a man

For all ladies without exception, romance is important and mandatory. They need to hear, feel, see every day that they are loved and dear. Some representatives of the stronger sex consider this unnecessary. Why say once again: “I love you,” if it’s already clear. Such men prove their intentions with their actions. While some sing serenades under the windows of their sick beloved, others, without warning, bring a bag of medicine. And it is not known which of these is better.

Therefore, those in love, sensitive and romantic natures should not forget that some partners find it extremely difficult to show touching emotions. There is no need to pester them with questions and complaints about lack of attention. It's better to hear a sincere "I want to be with you" about something than empty compliments every few minutes.

What feelings should alert you?

What signs of love can mislead you?

There are also rather dubious signs of love. They need to be treated with caution and assessed in the context of your other feelings and events that happen in life:

1. The best thing that happened to you during the day was meeting your partner. We can talk about love only if, in general, everything in your life is very good, and meeting a partner is a pleasant bonus. If he is your only outlet, then believe me, this is not love.
2. You have begun to think very seriously about your partner's needs. This is great if you don’t sacrifice yourself or destroy yourself. Giving yourself completely to a person without reserve, leaving nothing for yourself, is the path to the abyss. A loving person, by the way, will never accept such sacrifices.

If you are an adult and sensible person, then you will definitely analyze your feelings. Understand first of all that this is your life, and you should not give its moments to someone who is not destined for you.

Nonverbal signs in men

Next, let's look at the nonverbal signs of love that are unique to guys and exclusively to women. If a man is inflamed with passion for a girl, the following external manifestations of his interest become very important to him:

• touch - physical contact with their beloved is simply necessary for them;
• being in the field of view of your subject;
• demonstrative indifference;
• offering his help in some manly task - bringing it up, moving it, nailing it, lifting it, and so on;
• showing interest in various questions about the beloved to her and the people who know her;
• desire for physical contact - hugs, kisses, cuddling, touching with feet, hands and other types of contact, including sex;
• unlimited trust in the woman you love, even to the point of denying obvious facts.

How to understand whether you love or not: signs of sympathy

Signs of sympathy can be different

Falling in love is a very similar feeling to love. Finding the difference between these feelings is very difficult. It’s not for nothing that there is so much debate among scientists. On the Internet you can find a huge number of books and publications on this topic. I read some and picked out a few simple signs of attraction rather than love. Focusing on them, you will be able to determine for yourself whether you love the one who is next to you now or not.

You think your partner is different from everyone else

Yes, you may be dating an interesting person. This person is most likely an object of admiration not only for you, but also for a wider audience. This does not mean at all that love has settled in your heart. You fell in love, you were enchanted. But imagine if all this “scum” of popularity disappeared from him in an instant. Would you be as excited?

You admire more than just his appearance

You are interested in his achievements, thoughts, plans. I also watch some bloggers because I am interested in them as people, but not because I have love for them. Think about what exactly attracts you to this person. If this is not a desire to be like him, but sincere feelings, then your relationship has very great potential.

Do you sincerely want this person to be happy?

We should wish happiness to everyone - even our enemies. I think that you would definitely want your family to be happy. If you, at your core, are not such a person, and your partner is an exception to the rule, there is a high probability that you are in love.

With this person you are ready to try something that you have not done before

Congratulations! A faithful friend and a good friend is next to you. Perhaps he is your soulmate. It’s just not a fact that you are in love. This can only be verified by time and the trials of fate.

If you now have such feelings in a relationship, this suggests that with a high degree of probability love can happen, but everything will depend only on your personal qualities, behavior and turns of fate. Just don't rush to conclusions.

False Signs of Love

Surely, you once asked the question: “How do you know whether you love or not?” This happens to someone who has been in a relationship for a long time, who needs to make a decision whether to throw in their lot with their partner or give it up. I had such a situation in my life. I want to tell you about it right away.

How to find out if a man loves you: 20 main signs

An example from life of how to distinguish true feelings

While still at school, I met a guy who turned my head at first sight. He was very handsome, smart, charming. We saw each other every day because we studied together, only he was a year older. How happy I was that he paid attention to me and decided to hit me!

At first everything was fine. I fell head over heels in love and thought that it would be for the rest of my life, that I was so lucky to meet my man at a young age. Doubts began to overcome me already when he went to study at the university. We began to see each other rarely, he stopped writing and calling as often as before, and when he came, he went for a walk with friends and did not spend time with me.

I realized that he clearly didn’t have love, and I wondered what kind of feelings I had inside then? I was eaten up by resentment inside, jealousy, I was angry and could not forgive. Soon I found out that he already had another girlfriend in another city, and then all the feelings evaporated.

Moreover, soon after that I met my current husband and fully felt the difference between love and being in love. Now I want to share my findings with you.

As soon as you start to experience something like this, which will be discussed further, run away from this person.

Please note: if your mother, friend, teacher or someone else tells you that this partner of yours is ideal, he is so kind, smart and handsome, this does not mean that you should love him. Yes, for these qualities he is worthy of love, but sincere, and not imposed by someone.

What can true love be confused with?

Until now, not a single sage or scientist has been able to accurately, briefly and clearly define what love is. If you ask this question to different people, it turns out that everyone has their own concept of love. However, both thinkers and psychologists agree that love is not. Unconscious people mistake the feelings and emotions listed below for love. But in fact, these are just different forms of expression of selfishness, psychological trauma, internal conflicts and problems.

Falling in love can have a calming effect on the body and mind, and also helps restore the nervous system and improve the memory of the lover.

So, what can love be easily confused with:

• Passion . We begin to experience an irresistible craving for a person, a strong physical attraction. Many people begin to feel like they are head over heels in love. In fact, passion is a consequence of sexual attraction, or simply put, it is ordinary lust. Blinded by our desires, we begin to endow a person with non-existent qualities and are disappointed when we later discover that the object of passion is far from our fantasies.
• Sympathy . It arises against the background of physical and psychological attractiveness. We often experience this feeling towards people in whom we see friends who are close to us in spirit and worldview. Sympathy often develops into true love, but still it is not love in itself.
• Falling in love . Quite strong emotional feelings that mix passion, sympathy, and attraction. Falling in love gives real euphoria, but can make you suffer a lot if the feelings are not mutual. In fact, such strong and vivid experiences are caused by hormones that begin to be actively produced in a state of love. But, as a rule, such a chemical reaction in the body lasts only a few months. When it stabilizes, people’s “rose-colored glasses come off” and we begin to notice things we haven’t seen in our partner before. At this stage, problems and disagreements may begin in the relationship. If people do not overcome the moment of crisis, it means that there was no trace of love there. Just body chemistry.
• Addiction . If one of the partners begins to feel that he can no longer live without his “other half,” there are psychological problems. Dependence is experienced by psychologically immature people or individuals with serious psychological trauma. Usually such injuries occur in virginity. For example, a mother does not teach her daughter independence, making her completely dependent on herself and justifying such manipulation with her love. Although in fact, behind everything is the mother’s fear of losing her daughter and being left alone. The situation is often observed in families where the mother raises the child alone. A person grows up who does not know what self-sufficiency is and is capable of building only a dependent model of relationships. She replaces dependence on her mother with dependence on a man, considering it love.
• Habit . It happens that people stay nearby for a long time (colleagues, classmates, neighbors, members of some club), and when one of them leaves the common area, strange feelings of melancholy, cravings, and worries come. It may seem to one or both that they have loved each other all this time, which is why they are so hard to bear separation. But in fact, this is a common habit, perhaps built on sympathy. In such a situation, there is a chance that feelings will develop into true love.
• Jealousy . Many people think that if a partner is jealous, it means they love you. And this is how jealous people themselves justify their painful emotions. In fact, behind jealousy there are also psychological traumas and unawareness. A self-sufficient person, self-confident and self-loving, will never torment another with jealousy. People with low self-esteem, insecure, immature people who have fears inside them are jealous.

How can you understand that you love a person? To begin with, it is enough to make sure that you are not guided by the feelings and emotions listed above. The main thing is to be honest with yourself and not be afraid to admit to yourself what you are really experiencing. And to make sure that the feelings are true, let’s try to define true love.

What to do if you don't like each other anymore

Falling in love flares up quickly, like a match, and love develops in small steps and only grows every day. However, she leaves using the same method. It is impossible to stop loving a person in one day. Passion, attraction, and then emotions gradually disappear. But even if there is a strong resentment, it will not be possible to stop loving or ignore thoughts about your soul mate.

Personality develops throughout life, during which its hobbies and worldviews change. This causes misunderstandings and leads to separation. You can alternately accept heightened emotions, their decline, periods of happiness and disagreement. However, if the relationship does not bring satisfaction, as in the first months, you need to talk with your chosen one, and do not be afraid to be sincere. Perhaps he has not been in love for a long time, but does not want to take responsibility for breaking the union. Don't delay - dislike breeds disrespect and loss of interest. This is hardly a short-term disorder and it makes sense to experience each new crisis again. It is better to let each other go, look at your shortcomings and find your true happiness.

True love - how to understand it

It is hardly possible to say about love better than what is written in the Bible:

“Love is long-suffering, it is kind, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The phrase “does not seek its own” means that true love is completely devoid of selfishness. But it is egoism that gives rise to a sense of ownership, a desire to possess, control, and try to change a person.

Let's find out what psychologists say about healthy, self-sufficient, true love. In their opinion, signs of true, real feelings of love are:

• Confidence . A person does not try to convict his partner of anything, does not look for reasons for quarrels, does not suspect him of cheating and lying.
• Friendship . A couple in which everything is based on sexual relationships and violent passions will never last long. Friendships always form between truly loving people. They freely share their secrets with each other, have conversations, are interested in all aspects of each other’s lives, consult with each other, and support each other.
• Full unconditional acceptance. A loving person accepts his other half as he is and does not try to change him. He will never put forward conditions for his love.
• Mutual desire to work on oneself. If you love truly, you will not try to change your partner, but will begin to work on yourself. Psychologically mature couples understand that relationships are not built on their own; sometimes they need to work on themselves in order to come to an agreement or compromise.
• Sacrifice . True love is always ready to sacrifice itself. This does not mean that a person should rush headlong under a train to prove his feelings. Here we are talking about the ability and willingness to sometimes give up one’s interests for the sake of a significant other.
• The desire to give, not to take. A loving person always strives to give the object of his adoration the best that he has. At the same time, he does not think about profit and does everything selflessly.
• Consistency . When you truly love a person, you do not lose interest in him over time. No one else will be able to influence these feelings.

It is not always easy to distinguish true feelings from false, selfish ones. How can you understand that you love a person, except by understanding the criteria of love?

A person who has a real feeling in his heart feels only positive emotions. Love is characterized by such manifestations as:

• Joy from every meeting.
• The desire to please a loved one.
• The desire to be better yourself, to change yourself for the better.
• Waiting for meetings, boredom.
• The ability to take into account not only your own, but also your partner’s interests.
• No offense or complaints if the feelings are not mutual.
• Calmness, comfort and peace next to your loved one.
• The desire to share your happiness with the whole world.
• The desire to do good.
• The desire to inspire a partner.

It is hardly possible to agree that you truly love if inside you there are such feelings as:

• Dissatisfaction with some character traits of the partner and a desire to change them.
• A sense of ownership, you believe that the person now belongs to you and does not have the right to complete freedom.
• Intense jealousy. You don't trust your significant other and are constantly suspicious of her.
• You are trying to manipulate your chosen one for your own benefit.
• You are tormented by mental pain and suffering.
• You have doubts about your choices or your future together.
• You are tormented by fears that your partner will leave you, betray you, and the like.

Interesting facts about love:

Fact 1

From a biological point of view, the desire to love is considered to be as primitive as eating food.

Fact 2

Romance does not last more than a year, since the brain is unable to remain in such a state for a long time.

Fact 3

During a breakup with your loved one, you need to exercise. At the same time, the level of dopamine will drop, the despair of separation will no longer depress you

Actions characteristic of love

Love can be confused with passion or strong sympathy. But there are actions that distinguish it from other human emotions. How to understand that a person really loves you:

1. He keeps his word. Empty chatter does not fit in with love. If you are really dear to a person, then he will be afraid to lose you without keeping his promise. Check on your chosen one or your chosen one, ask them to come to the appointed place at an extremely inconvenient time. Or order yourself as a gift something that is very difficult to find in the city. If the conditions are met, then most likely they love you.
2. He will always come to the rescue. How to understand that a friend or girlfriend is in love with you? Both women and men are ready to do a lot for the sake of their love. A person who is loved will never be left alone in trouble. Think back to recent difficult situations in your life. The one who was with you at this moment undoubtedly experiences deep affection.
3. He appreciates your advantages and does not notice your shortcomings. Love implies complete acceptance of a person with all his pros and cons. Any disputes and proof of your rightness at first are completely inappropriate. After all, being in love, we usually only admire the intelligence and intelligence of the chosen one.
4. He supports your aspirations and develops with you. Usually, if a loved one moves forward, reaches new heights in any field, then we ourselves are bursting with pride. Therefore, pay attention to whether your chosen one or chosen one rejoices at your successes? Is it also evolving to meet all the criteria of a good party? If the answer is yes, then there is definitely love.

Actions are very important in distinguishing love from simple flirting or sexual attraction. A person who doesn't take you seriously is unlikely to do anything important for you.

Tips on how to determine if love is real

Some practical advice from psychologists will help you figure out whether your feelings are real or fake.

1. Remember how your relationship began. If very quickly and with physical intimacy, then love is clearly in question. Compare whether your relationship has improved or worsened since then. If they have become better, perhaps passion is developing into true feelings.
2. Analyze what attracts you to a person. To do this, it is better to take a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the qualities. If it turns out that the list contains more qualities such as appearance, good manners and other attributes of upbringing, then perhaps you are passionate about the “wrapper”. A loving person is attracted by the essence of the chosen one; even his disadvantages seem sweet and attractive.
3. Think about how stable your feelings are. If after every argument you are quite ready to go on a date with another person and allow the beginning of a new relationship, you are not truly in love.
4. How lonely do you feel without your significant other? Do you know how to have a good time without him/her? If yes, then your feelings are self-sufficient, otherwise it is addiction.
5. If there are traits in your partner that you don’t like, are you ready to put up with them and never blame the person for this? If you still hope that he/she will change, this is not love.
6. Imagine your couple in different situations, in poverty and wealth. Will you also love your chosen one if your social status changes? Maybe you are simply attracted to a person’s success?
7. Do you have something that you can and want to give to your other half? If you view your partner as an object for solving your problems and needs, there is no smell of love here.
8. Imagine in your mind a situation where you need to let go of your lover for his/her good. Can you do this in peace and without offense, with good wishes? If not, then you do not truly love the person, but are indulging your ego.

These are the most effective methods on how to understand that you really love a person.

Osho (sage, mystic, enlightened master) said: “Love has nothing to do with relationships, love is a state.” And it seems he was right. Only the one who, regardless of the relationship, feels love in his heart every day is truly capable of love. He sees love in life itself, in every manifestation of it, in everything that surrounds him. He finds love within himself, and has a strong desire to share it with everyone he meets along the way. Nothing can take away this love or extinguish it.

Interesting to know!

A brain that loves and a brain that is simply lustful are two different things. Erotic photos activate the hypothalamus (which controls hunger and thirst) and the amygdala (which controls arousal). Love activates areas of the brain that contain high amounts of dopamine, which is associated with euphoria, attraction and drug addiction.

The main criterion of true feeling is unconditionality. But in relationships we are often so unconscious that we begin to put forward various conditions, such as: I will love you only if you love me; if I love you, then you must adapt to me; if you love me, you will change for me.

All this is nothing more than a manifestation of the ego and attempts to fill internal needs or solve internal problems with the help of another person. This is psychological immaturity.

The best way to understand that you love a person is to think whether you can maintain bright, kind and better feelings, even if your chosen one does not accept them. If yes, then you can be congratulated - you are among the enlightened, highly conscious people who have revealed their true essence.

Nonverbal gestures of lovers

How can you tell if a guy is in love with you? How to notice a girl's sincere affection? If you are careful, you can find the answer to this exciting question by assessing nonverbal gestures. Which indicates a serious feeling:

1. Tracking reactions. If we are in love, then we subconsciously want to understand our potential soulmate: to study their personality and reaction to what is happening. If you notice that in a company a representative of the opposite sex regularly glances at you after someone’s joke or big news, then he probably feels something serious about you.
2. An attempt to touch. This gesture should be considered in conjunction with other manifestations of love, since alone it can only speak of sexual attraction. A person in love often does not control his impulses to touch, stroke, or hurt the owner or mistress of his heart. Fleetingly and furtively, after a while more and more insistently, he will pat you on the shoulder, hug you, remove specks and push you.
3. Smile. A person who is truly in love will hardly be able to hold back a smile when you appear. Please note that real emotions are accompanied by wrinkles around the eyes. They don't appear with a fake smile.

Nonverbal gestures will not always help you find the answer to an exciting question about the love of a particular person. Firstly, many people successfully control themselves, and secondly, if you love yourself, then it’s easy to see what is not there.

Psychologists' opinions on feelings of love and affection

There are many stereotypes in society. For example, from childhood, girls are instilled with the idea that a man should seek her hand and heart, like a fairy-tale knight. And many guys expect unquestioning obedience from girls in relationships - for the stronger sex this is often proof of love.

How to understand that a person really loves you? Psychologists say that all people are different, and the manifestation of feelings is purely individual. A notorious egoist and a compassionate altruist with experience cannot love equally. Character traits leave a serious imprint on manifestations of affection.

So how can you tell if a particular person loves you? Psychologists recommend paying attention to the following points in your partner’s behavior:

1. Plans are being made for the future with your participation. Simply sympathy does not give reasons to think about trips, weddings and children. If they regularly make it clear to you that they are looking forward to a future together, then the person is clearly serious. This is love, right?
2. Attention and care are shown not only in words. How to understand that you are not being deceived, but truly loved? When a person constantly inquires about your affairs and health, it seems that he is thereby showing serious feelings. Is it really? Of course, everyone appreciates the attention. But is it complemented by real actions? If you are sick, then a loving person will not only ask about your well-being, but will also come with medicine even at one in the morning and cook you chicken broth.
3. Respect and loyalty are common signs of love. If they love you, they not only try to get attention at any cost, but also show respect. Your opinion is valued and taken into account, not insulted and sometimes tolerated. Loyalty is an integral part of deep feeling. Otherwise, why do you need love at all, when you can switch to someone else at any moment?

Each person has his own idea of ​​love. How do you understand that someone has fallen in love with you? Pay attention to your actions and caring attitude, and listen to your heart. The superficial tinsel of compliments, gifts and loud words is a wrapper. Your job is to discern the essence of a person and his true intentions.

When love is born

To understand and understand that you really love a person very much, you need to be patient. True feelings appear after a long period of time. The transformation of affection into true love occurs gradually. Hot passion does not always turn into feelings, and this is not scary. Many people can experience love only once in their life, while others never know it.

It is impossible to say exactly at what point infatuation will degenerate into love. For this to happen, partners need to get to know each other. Having made sure that your beloved person is reliable, your life goals coincide, we can say that a true feeling has arisen. As a rule, this happens after 2-3 years. You should talk about love no earlier than a year after the formation of a couple.

We have considered all possible aspects regarding how to understand whether you really love a person or whether this is attachment. Before deciding to enter into a serious relationship, you need to listen to your inner voice. This is the only way to find out the exact answer to this question and get rid of doubts.

Advice from psychologists

Experts generally do not advise asking the question whether a particular person loves you or not. Such thoughts are quite understandable, as long as they don’t drag on too long. Sometimes, especially at a young age, we begin to become fixated on one person and look for signs of reciprocity in his every step. Feelings for him gradually turn into mania, and this is already a disease.

If this is your first time asking such a question, then there is nothing wrong with it. After all, you probably feel interested in yourself and want to know the depth of feelings directed in your direction. But, if you have been watching your dream object for a long time, day after day, looking for signals of love, stop. This is a wake-up call that could mean the following:

1. You have low self-esteem. You work yourself up and fall in love with any more or less attractive person, immediately looking for return. You really want to be someone's love, although first of all you should love yourself.
2. Your life is boring. Your brain is tired of everyday life and craves bright emotions. It is the subconscious that pushes you to search for a potential partner. Impatience makes you look for the answer to the question: “Does he/she love me?”
3. You are in a dysfunctional relationship. If you, being in a couple, are not sure about the feelings of your other half, then everything is clearly not going smoothly between you. Here you need to strengthen the relationship in order to get the long-awaited confidence, and not guess whether your partner still loves you or not.

You can't escape fate. Love will definitely find you when you don't even expect it. Press yourself less and enjoy life.

Love doesn't like victims

Sometimes, in order to please a guy, girls decide to make serious changes. They change their habits, their image, their interests and priorities. But love is not a feeling that requires sacrifice, because they love not for anything, but love for no reason. Of course, the desire to become more attractive has never bothered anyone, and improving your physical shape will always benefit you, but radically changing your appearance, character, and outlook on life is wrong. You are either loved with your character, appearance and all your shortcomings and advantages - or not.

Natalya Vladimirovna, psychologist

All about love Why love is so difficult How to choose a guy How to keep a guy

Several effective ways: how to find out whether you love a person or not

To identify ordinary interest, affection, sympathy or love, you need to analyze certain parameters. Several different techniques will help with this.

Method 1: Test

Answer a series of questions. Write down the number of “yes” and “no” answers on a piece of paper:

• Do you think about your chosen one before going to bed, do you want to wish him good night or hug him?
• Do you strive to do nice things for him every day?
• Do you feel comfortable and calm in his presence?
• When you think about him, butterflies begin to fly in your stomach, your cheeks become red, and your heart beats faster?
• Are you shifting from foot to foot, waiting for an evening meeting, and want the day to go faster?
• Do you think he is the best man you have ever met?
• You know his disadvantages, which sometimes confuse and even irritate him, but you continue to be his half?
• Are you worried about long separations, business trips, departures?

If you answered yes to most of the questions, most likely your feelings are sincere. However, keep in mind that the test must be carried out in complete calm, not after a quarrel. Give answers objectively, analyzing the entire period of communication.

Method 2: Pros and cons

Another common and yet truthful method to find out that you really love a person is to take a piece of paper and a pen. In two columns you need to write down all the pros and cons of the chosen one. What can you say about your loved one? Is he all faults other than good looks or kindness? Or maybe, on the contrary, his passion for computer games is overshadowed by care, attention, tenderness, and rationality. The predominance of “+” is another proof of your love.

Method 3: “He’s no longer there”

Imagine (just don’t get carried away or get hung up on such thoughts) that your chosen one is not there. You didn’t meet at all, he left, or you broke up. How comfortable will you be? Perhaps you will find the long-awaited freedom, you will be able to realize yourself, and do what you love. Or such thoughts bring you pain, discomfort, sadness. Usually, we only manage to understand how dear our significant other or thing is after we lose it. To quickly understand your emotions, you just need to imagine yourself without a companion. This will answer many questions.

Method 4. Meditation

Another method for determining whether you love a person or not is psychological visualization. To focus on your own breathing, you need to sit down on a soft, pleasant carpet or a comfortable chair, and eliminate anything that might distract or irritate you. Having completely calmed down and relaxed in an atmosphere of silence, think about your lover. Do you want to hug him, hold him close, kiss him? Pay attention to your feelings that arise when the image of your companion appears. If at the moment of peace you feel disgust or a desire to leave, it is better not to delay this in reality.

Sources:

• https://Plachu.net/pro-lyubov/kak-ponyat-chto-lyubish-cheloveka
• https://www.astromeridian.ru/psy/tebja_ljubjat_ponastojashhemu.html
• https://dnevnyk-uspeha.com/otnosheniya/kak-ponjat-ljubish-ili-net.html
• https://net-nevroza.ru/nastojashhaja-ljubov-kak-ee-otlichit-ot-drugih-chuvstv/
• https://LoveTrue.ru/sovety/kak-ponyat-chto-v-tebya-deystvitelno-vlyubilis-raskryvaem-taynye-priznaki-glubokogo-chuvstva.html
• https://damienmilay.com/basis/kak-ponyat-chto-ty-dejstvitelno-lyubish-cheloveka-sposoby-kotorye-pomogut-opredelit/

They love not for something, but in spite of everything

Attachment always follows the path of jealousy. You hesitate because of the fear of losing your boyfriend, you become more nervous and start to go crazy because of your own and groundless mistrust of him. If this happens, then you no longer love him. Love is built on complete trust and confidence in the fidelity of your partner.

One of the ways to understand whether it is love or not is intimacy. If your desire to lie down with your partner comes to you less and less often, this is a reason to think about it. Otherwise, sex only becomes more sensitive, more varied, you become more and more hungry for each other in the desire to feel your partner.

During the time of sincere feelings of love, you do not think about how you could live with another partner. You won't even have a thought. You are completely absorbed in what is happening to you and your current loved one. You can openly communicate with your significant other on any topic without fear of condemnation or misunderstanding on his part. This is true love!

It is important to understand that attachment is not always a bad thing. This is an integral part of our life, which can develop into a wonderful feeling. But also don’t get hung up on it if this doesn’t happen. Sooner or later you will have to understand this when you meet sincere love, and at that moment parting will bring enormous mental pain...

Meditation

In this method, everything is much more complicated than in the past, but it doesn’t matter, and you can definitely handle it! Try to get comfortable, lie down on the bed or sit in a chair and dive deeply, deeply into your consciousness and the essence of yourself, beyond the general perception of the world, and after reaching this state, just try to figure out whether you did the right thing by letting this person go into your heart. “He is no more”—imagine that. Yes, this is a very cruel and strong method, but it will help you figure out as best as possible whether you really need this particular person. To test using this technique, just close your eyes and for a few minutes try to imagine the world without this person, your love. Did you feel worse after this experiment? If yes, then you are definitely doing everything right, follow the same path and you will definitely achieve success!

She has attacks of aggression!4

A guy lives for himself, meets a girl. He has a great job, high income and even has two days off a week. She quits her boring sales job and decides to engage in self-development and look for something creative that suits her multifaceted personality better than putting T-shirts on shelves and helping in fitting rooms.

And then the passion is replaced. Incomprehensible complaints, screams about scattered things and an innocent hobby in the form of a computer game, checking phones, wild attacks of jealousy. People say that she is bored, she needs a child, or a job, or more household responsibilities. Depends on who is advising. She complains that sincerity and feelings have disappeared.

In fact, nothing appeared, but only from the woman’s side. She was simply looking for stability, found it, began looking for more information about “happiness and self-development,” and came across happy Instagram families, where the husband is the embodiment of everything she would like. Implicitly, the girl understands that her partner is not the hero of the novel, and there are no feelings. But in fact, she really doesn’t want to become a salesman and look for love, so she tries to control herself, but it doesn’t work out well.

How to stop loving your husband

Midlife crisis in women - what time does it start, how to survive it

It is more difficult to break off a relationship if the couple is not just dating, but they are married. A certain way of life is already being formed, habits are becoming stronger. It is especially difficult for a woman who has a child to leave. There is not just a fear of the unknown, but also a fear of not being able to provide for your baby on your own. Therefore, many wives are ready to endure disdainful attitude from their husbands, just so as not to leave the child without a father. How to stop loving a man with whom you have children together?

Important! Mom forgets that children see the relationship between their parents and build their families according to their model of behavior. The one in which the husband does not love his wife, she suffers with him, is not the best example to follow.

A woman suffers because of a man

In the case when a man stops loving his wife, there is only one way out - to let go. To decide on such an act, a woman must focus on the behavior of her husband with the child, on what contribution he makes to the family. It’s worth finding a hobby so that your family doesn’t take up all your time, this will make it easier to accept the fact that the man has become indifferent. Often women completely dissolve in household chores, forgetting about themselves, so it’s worth expanding your social circle, changing the environment, then she won’t have time to suffer.