7 habits that will turn any introvert into a master communicator

“How to become more sociable as an introvert,” I Googled in desperation.

Heck, if you're reading this, you've probably done the same thing.

According to Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward ,

The average person exhibits about 32% of the characteristics associated with social awkwardness.

Therefore, if you've ever felt awkward in public, you're not alone. Millions of people around the world feel the same way.

However, you don't have to just live with something that is holding you back or preventing you from living life to the fullest. Instead, you can and should change.

So how do you get rid of it?

Introvert and extrovert: what is the difference

We are strikingly similar to snowflakes. You ask me why? Because they all look the same, but in nature there are no two completely similar snowflakes. Likewise, people can be similar in profession, hobbies, personality type, but have their own special traits that set them apart from others.

Each of us belongs to a certain psychological personality type. We know from school that there are two opposites: extrovert and introvert. But there is also an ambivert - someone who combines these two extremes. For many years now I have not been able to define myself as a specific type. Therefore, I am more inclined to believe that two extremes are combined in me. A little taken from each of them.

What is the difference between an extrovert and an introvert? Let's put it this way: people belonging to the first type draw energy from communicating with people. They simply need society; it gives them a boost of strength. But introverts are more focused on themselves. They do not avoid society, but they need time alone.

The word “introvert” means inward-facing (from Latin intro “inward” + vertere “to turn”).

Extroverts are kind of small motors. They are in constant motion, always trying to be noticed, looking for contact with people and get upset if they do not have the opportunity to communicate with them for a long time. By the way, people of this type make up the majority of society.

In simple words, an introvert is a person who does not like publicity. He is immersed in his inner world, fueled by energy from loneliness and loses it when he gets involved in various social events. Introverts are few in number, about 20 percent. These are more creative individuals who like to be alone and reflect on their lives. They are observers rather than participants in the process.

What is very important is that these are extremely punctual and responsible people. They will arrive an hour before the appointed time, just so as not to be late, and they will approach every task with the utmost seriousness. Therefore, they are highly valued at work as employees.

One of these extremes is given to a person from birth, and it is impossible to change it. You can never change from an introvert to an extrovert.

Don't try to pretend to be an extrovert

Don't think that people won't like you just because you're an introvert. And that you definitely need to be more sociable or open in order for your friends to like you. There is nothing wrong with laconicism and restraint. And it's completely normal to not want to socialize every night.

Remember that your goal is to become a better version of yourself, not a completely different person.

By imitating the behavior of extroverts, you will simply get tired and not enjoy the interaction. Appreciate your own qualities and use them. Be sincere - this will truly endear you to people.

Tests to find out your psychotype

I found 3 tests for you:

  1. Determination of character type according to Jung. Answer 20 questions, where you choose one of two options. If your scores are in the middle, and this is 35–65 points, then you still fall into 35% of people with traits of extroversion and introversion.
  2. Test to determine Eysenck's temperament type. This test has 60 questions that will help you determine your temperament type, extroversion or introversion. Travel time is approximately 5 minutes.
  3. Test “Who are you: extrovert, ambivert or introvert.” You need to answer 8 questions. I took this test and found out that I am an ambivert. A very convenient and quick test, a kind of express diagnostics.

Final Thoughts

If you are an extrovert, you may encounter certain difficulties communicating with an introvert. However, it can also be a rewarding experience for you. You will be able to get to know other people better and expand your circle of acquaintances. After all, there are so many brilliant, creative and talented individuals hiding behind their “introverted walls.” Therefore, learn to communicate with all people, and have fun expanding your horizons and making new friends.

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Want to know how to achieve your life goal? This blog will help you learn how to apply psychology to your relationships, health and well-being. My goal is to teach my readers how to maximize their effectiveness in life.

Characteristics of an introvert

Most people have a misconception about this personality type. They see introverts as withdrawn and hateful towards society. Everything is completely wrong. If you have not yet decided whether you are an introvert or not, then you should read these signs that will help you with your choice. So, here are 10 signs that characterize an introvert:

  1. You are not eager to meet new people. Many people think that introverts avoid people in general. No, they just have enough of the social circle that they already have. Someone constantly expands it and easily finds a common language with unfamiliar people. And you simply don't need it.
  2. You don't like to take part in discussions. You can be a brilliant speaker, but at the same time silent. How is this possible? You gave a presentation, said everything clearly and to the point, but you don’t always want to join in further discussion and answer questions.
  3. You have extroverted friends. It is a well-known fact that opposites attract. So in our case, people who are completely different can easily come together. However, you will limit the presence of extroverts in your life and spend more time alone.
  4. You avoid crowds. Being in the center of events, for example, at a concert, is a huge torment for you. A large number of people around you makes you feel uncomfortable and want to get out of there as quickly as possible.
  5. You don't like interviews. Such communication requires instantly adapting to the interlocutor, establishing contact with him, and you do not have such a desire, as I said above. You will prefer electronic communication to a regular conversation.
  6. You are a devoted friend. You have wonderful traits that other people value: honesty and loyalty to your friends. You are not looking for any benefit, but simply value the relationship.
  7. You get along with people for a long time. In your close circle there are only friends who have been proven over the years.
  8. You don't like telephone conversations. Your loved ones are already accustomed to the fact that it is better to communicate with you via messages.
  9. You are polite. It’s easy to offend and injure you even with a not very caustic phrase. And that is why you are doubly wary of others. Knowing what a word thrown in the heat of the moment can feel like, you avoid such behavior. Watch your manners and etiquette; ill-mannered people irritate you.
  10. You plan your life. If extroverts are spontaneous people who are ready to give up everything and rush to the ends of the world, then you take life much more seriously and strictly. Every day is scheduled, and every trip is planned for a certain period.

I could go on for a long time, but I have outlined the main, most striking manifestations of introversion. Think carefully about each point, perhaps you will recognize yourself in it.

Introverts: sad beeches or individuals with a mysterious twist?

All people are different. Some feel comfortable in unfamiliar company, quickly adapt and adapt to the situation. Such people are open and cheerful, and their name is extroverts. Other individuals do not like the change of situation and environment; they take a long time to get used to the new team and, at first glance, do not want to communicate at all. They are called introverts.

The founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, coined these two terms, conditionally dividing all people into extroverts and introverts. Humanity is divided into two types because each individual interacts with life energy differently. Extroverts, both men and women, give it outwardly, while introverts accumulate it within themselves.

Extroverts are like solar panels. They move around in society, receiving a piece of attention from everyone, even a smile, even a kind word, and they are charged with this, not forgetting to give attention in return. But introverts are not very friendly and at first glance sometimes seem aggressive or sad.

How to determine from a work team which employees are introverts and which are extroverts? Inspect your colleagues' workstations. Various decorations, unusual stationery, a couple of extra chairs nearby indicate that a sociable extrovert is sitting here. Minimalism, lack of accessories, a mug without patterns characterizes an introvert.

This division of people into two camps should not scare you. Both of these types can perform remarkably well in all aspects of life. But if you can easily and quickly find a common language with extroverts, then the question of how to communicate with an introvert worries many people. Introverted women and men in relationships and friendships show themselves to be reserved and cold, which sometimes seems like they simply don’t care who they communicate with.

Introverts live in a world of reflection, they think through their every step, every phrase, so you won’t expect a quick reaction to what’s happening from them. Introverted men and women show themselves coldly in love, but their devotion and dedication simply knows no bounds. If our beech finds out that his chosen one or chosen one is in trouble, then, without hesitation, he will rush to save them, regardless of the inconvenience and any dangers. However, the main problem for an introvert is how to find a girlfriend or boyfriend? After all, friendliness and the ability to charm an interlocutor are not their strong point.

Of course, it is much easier for an introvert to understand an introvert, because they have perfect compatibility. But what should those who want to find a common language with a closed person, but who themselves have a different character, do? If you're wondering how to communicate with introverted men and women, check out the information below.

Introvert Behavior

It is not always possible to identify such a person immediately. Many people try to appear very sociable in public and support any conversation. But there is something that gives them away. A potential introvert almost always avoids talking about himself. Everything that concerns introverts themselves is not subject to discussion; personal remains their personal. They will easily carry on a conversation on unrelated topics, but speaking their minds or talking about personal things is not their style.

This type of person has few friends, but they are real, although they also do not know all the details of their friend’s life. Introverts will not call everyone they meet friend.

It is difficult for such people to stay in society for a long time. For one hour of communication, they need a couple of hours of rest alone. These are people who like to delve into themselves, reflect on their lives, analyze every situation and draw some conclusions.

These are unemotional people, all their feelings are hidden. Introverts almost always seem balanced and calm, even in the most critical situations. Making them laugh heartily is also not easy. In companies they prefer to remain silent, listen and observe. Yes, these are great listeners who will really dive into what others are saying and relate to their problems. Before speaking, an introvert will think several times so that it is appropriate and does not offend others.

How to behave in a big company

It is impossible to avoid the company of other people all your life. Therefore, you should know how to communicate in a company so as not to create an unpleasant atmosphere for yourself.

  • It is better to conduct any conversations while sitting, if possible.
  • To avoid direct eye contact, which can be tiring, sit to the side of the person you are talking to.
  • Find something to do, for example, offer to photograph the event. This way you can relieve tension and avoid too intrusive conversations.
  • If you feel tired and need peace at home, just leave. You don’t need to think that you can offend someone with this, you shouldn’t overpower and force yourself.

Types of introverts

Not long ago, it was a surprise for me to learn that introverts are also different from each other. For some reason, even in the subject of psychology, we were not told such significant details, but one of the scientific programs gave me such valuable knowledge. It’s time to share the information received with you; perhaps some of you do not yet know the types of introversion.

Sensory introvert

Such a person prefers clarity and clear answers to his questions. He does not think about tomorrow and does not remember the mistakes of the past; for him there is only today, only the present.

This type of person always follows directions and fulfills requirements, strictly following the instructions. If a sensory introvert takes up a task, he will see it through to the end.

He is not satisfied with chaos at home or at work; every thing has its own place where it must be. When something is wrong, it causes internal disturbances.

Another important feature is that sensory introverts are able to easily focus on the smallest details, but it is not so easy for them to imagine the full picture.

Intuitive introvert

A person of this type takes on everything that comes to hand and easily switches his attention from one thing to another. Without fear, he tries himself in different areas until he finds something he likes.

Such people do not like to focus their attention on details; for them it is of little significance. They live for tomorrow, completely forgetting about the life that is currently passing by them.

Ethical-sensory introvert

These people attach special importance to beauty. Therefore, they always dress stylishly, look neat and well-groomed. Their relationship with nature is at a high level.

They will always support the conversation and listen to the interlocutor. They are pleasant to talk to, but do not strive to open up and do not want to be leaders.

Such people prefer clarity in the tasks given to them and do not perceive conflicting tasks. They can work fruitfully only in a calm environment.

They take betrayal and criticism very hard.

Ethical-intuitive introvert

People who are ruled by emotions. All their decisions are based on what they feel and are not subject to common reason. They have many hobbies and are versatile people.

A person of this type is very pleasant to talk to, puts people at ease and deftly uses humor. However, he is characterized by sudden changes in mood and an urgent need to be alone with himself.

Sensory-logical introvert

As you already understand, these are people with developed logical thinking. A practical man. Such people strive to stand out and become leaders, so they often quickly climb the career ladder. Promotion is very significant for them.

Sensory-logical introverts are adherents of order. It should be in everything and everywhere. Every thing is in its place, and the apartment seems like a cozy family “nest.”

They always treat their interlocutor with respect, but are constantly tense and feel distrustful of people they don’t know well.

Logical-intuitive introvert

This is a practitioner. He constantly analyzes what happened, reflects on his mistakes and tries to avoid them in the future. Many ideas come into his head, which he is able to bring to perfection, but cannot bring to life. Has an objective approach to situations.

These are people who always come to the aid of others. They are too naive and gullible.

The work must be to their liking, otherwise it will be impossible to achieve a good result. Such people like a cozy and comfortable environment, which they themselves are not able to create. They need a companion who will charge them with positivity.

Emotionally intuitive introvert

A very gentle person who is overly concerned about the feelings of others. An emotional introvert will not find peace until the person who has offended him forgives him. If he had to upset someone, he will not be able to take this situation lightly, and for some time he will be fixated on it.

Such people are committed to comfort and harmony, especially in relation to their loved ones.

They are constantly in thought and in their inner world.


Reluctance to contact someone often leads to disastrous consequences.
For example, intros rarely turn to doctors, sometimes delaying the development of the disease to a critical state. The very fact of the need for such treatment contradicts the internal foundations of these people. A closed and silent character often gives rise to unpleasant consequences. The same disadvantages include carefully protecting your comfort zone and personal space. Letting someone get as close as any extrovert does is difficult. It will take a long time for this to happen. In most cases, a person (if he is not the same intro) simply does not have the patience to wait, as a result, communication fades away before it even begins. Negative aspects Introversion has a rather serious negative impact on a person’s life. In a world where, from childhood, people are taught to work in a team, make friends, and develop communication skills in every possible way, it is very difficult for those who avoid all this. And the problems start from school.

Teenage children are cruel people. Quiet and calm classmates, as a rule, are hurt and bullied in every possible way. Only with a strong character and strong nerves is it possible to graduate from school without receiving moral trauma. The university is a fairly calm place, most people don’t care about each other, no one will intrude or bother you, the attitude towards any type is quite normal.

Already at work, a team of extroverts demands (unspoken, of course) that each employee be an equal part of all unofficial events. Those who refuse evening gatherings at the bar or corporate events are looked at askance. People like this are discussed and tried to be put under pressure. And this does not contribute to comfort at all.

How to get along with an introvert

If there is a person in your circle who belongs to this psychological personality type, then it is worth learning how to communicate with him. The situation is more complicated if you live under the same roof. Such people need a special approach and careful attitude.

  • When talking with them, try to avoid unnecessary details that are not important. Keep your story to the essence so as not to irritate the listener with unnecessary details.
  • Give them time to be alone with themselves. Introverts get tired of constant communication.
  • Avoid quarrels. These people are non-confrontational, and if you want to find out something, do it in a calm conversation. When attacked, a person of this type of personality withdraws into himself and isolates himself from the situation. With constant disputes, the relationship will noticeably deteriorate.
  • Watch your words. They are easily offended, and a common phrase from you may hurt his feelings. Offensive situations leave a mark on an introvert’s soul for a long time and gradually distance you from him; over time, he will simply stop opening up to you.
  • Introverts often choose the complete opposite of themselves as a partner. They praise their significant other and are charged with positivity from her. However, they are very jealous of their partner when he tries to please others.
  • Introverts are very sensitive to loved ones and value them. If you take a significant place in the life of such a person, then rest assured that, of his own free will, he will never replace you with anyone else.
  • They have a good sense of humor, but they only show it in their close circle of friends. And they never tolerate ridicule directed at themselves or their loved ones.
  • They always care about the happiness of their loved ones and do everything to please their partner. Learn to appreciate it and give back.
  • An introvert will never break up a relationship at will. If the situation escalates, he will withdraw into himself. If your behavior pushes this person to break up, then he will never return. Take care of your happiness!

To learn how to get along with people, you can undergo special training.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” is suitable for:

  1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
  2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
  3. To everyone who is involved in raising children.
  4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev, an expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

You will learn:

  1. Communicate with closed people.
  2. Coping with daily problems involving other people.
  3. Influence your environment and much more.

The course lasts 1 month and contains 33 video lectures, 26 exercises, 6 tests + webinars with emotional intelligence experts.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

  1. Emotions. Basics.
  2. Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
  3. Social efficiency.
  4. Building harmonious relationships.

How it goes:

  1. You are watching video lectures.
  2. Then you complete independent tasks to reinforce the material.
  3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues.
  4. Take tests on the material you have studied.
  5. You complete the intensive course and receive a certificate.

The cost of completing it independently is 1,040 rubles, with a curator – 2,370 rubles.

They will refund your money if you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you.

Make a deal with extroverts

This should be done if introverts have to spend a lot of time with extroverts. This could be marriage or friendships. It is difficult for people with different characters to understand each other. An extrovert wants to go to a club all night. And the introvert should stay at home and, wrapped in a blanket, watch a soulful film. It is useless to argue here, since everyone has different interests and desires. It is better to draw up an action plan and agree in advance.

For example, an introvert and an extrovert can write a schedule for spending time together. Let's say you should go to a party one weekend. The second should be devoted to joint leisure.

To avoid misunderstandings, an introvert should discuss such situations in advance with family and friends who are extroverts. This will help protect yourself from conflicts and resentments.

What kind of job is suitable for such people?

Choosing a profession is, in principle, very difficult. And when you need to adapt to your psychological personality type, complete confusion sets in.

As I said above, introverts get very tired from too much interaction with people. But they are extremely collected and responsible, distinguished by logical thinking. With such skills, it is not difficult to choose a profession to your liking, which will not tire you and bring you pleasure.

  • work from home;
  • copywriting, writing activities;
  • working with databases;
  • accounting;
  • analytics;
  • design;
  • IT sphere;
  • laboratory;
  • the science;
  • creation.

These areas to some extent provide an opportunity to demonstrate inner qualities. Some of the above require extreme concentration, while others allow you to work in a calm, familiar and comfortable environment. If you noticed, all of the above has practically nothing to do with people. An introvert will not need to force himself to constantly communicate with unfamiliar clients. He will do his job without any stress.

The connection between introversion and social anxiety

A necessary clarification: introversion does not equal social anxiety. However, there is a connection between them. Some scientists believe that "...Introversion is a major component of social phobia, and this observation may have both etiological and therapeutic implications." For example, this study shows that among social phobics, 93.7% are introverts. And in this study, a moderate positive correlation was proven between social anxiety and the presence of introversion.

Know how to find compromises

It often happens that two different types of people decide to create a couple. In this case, frequent misunderstandings and, as a result, resentment may arise. Simply because the needs are different. You need to be able to find a compromise and an optimal solution in everything that concerns these differences. For example, spend your free time in different ways: some weekends at home with a movie, others - outdoors with a bunch of friends. This way you can meet each other's needs without causing yourself too much discomfort.

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