20 Golden Rules of Communication that will lead you to success in communication (+Bonus)

Communication with people is a multilateral communication process in which data or various types of messages are transmitted using speech or gestures. The psychology of communication with people is considered by science as a set of techniques and methods that make it possible to achieve comfortable and effective interaction between interested (or not so interested) parties, and significantly improve the results of negotiations or conversations.

Basic rules of communication

Rule #1

Allow other people to be who they are, and do not try to remake someone according to your standards.

  • Firstly, it is completely useless, people do not change.
  • And secondly, all attempts by outside influence are perceived extremely negatively by people and spoil relationships.

Rule #2

Speak only good things about people, otherwise just keep your mouth tightly shut.
Support and approval are the most powerful catalysts for good relationships.

Rule #3

Don't allow yourself to be arrogant towards other people.
A note of superiority in a voice can cause irreparable damage to the best relationships. If you want to maintain good relationships with others, their actions or words cannot be ridiculed. People do not forgive humiliation either.

Rule #4

Show sincere interest in the life and feelings of the other person, then you will not have problems finding a topic for conversation.
And there are plenty of reasons for praise. By the way, praise and flattery are radically opposite concepts; they should not be confused.

Rule #5

Try to look for positive traits in each person and focus maximum attention on them.
Each of us has shortcomings, the secret of good relationships lies in the ability not to notice them.

Rule #6

Once and for all, give up criticism of other people, try to recognize their right to make mistakes.
Remember that every action can be viewed from two opposing points of view, and it is not yet known which of them is correct.

Rule #7

Every person makes a lot of effort to increase his own importance in the eyes of other people.
You should give up your sense of self-importance and allow other people to feel important.

Rule #8

Watch your own words and actions.
If you have done something inappropriate, apologize immediately and do not allow yourself to offend other people.

Rule #9

Never give orders to anyone. If you want your words and advice to be listened to, do not impose them, wait until you are asked for advice.

Rule #10

Never respond with irritation to the irritation of the person living next to you.
Take his irritation as a request for help, support and sympathy.

Rule #11

When communicating with people, try to talk less and listen more.
By the way, by listening to other people's problems, you get to know the person better, and therefore strengthen your friendship with him.

Rule #12

If you come up with a good idea, try to pretend that the idea came from your interlocutor.

Rule #13

If your interlocutor expresses thoughts that, in your opinion, are wrong, do not interrupt him or try to prove your point of view.

Rule #14

Give up any disputes once and for all.
By the way, the fastest way to end an argument is to admit that your interlocutor is right.

Rule #15

Give gifts to your loved ones without waiting for a special occasion.

Rule #16

If you feel irritation in the depths of your soul, do not show it openly.
Instead of demonstrating your feelings, try to find the true reasons for this state and eliminate them.

Rule #17

Turn the vector of interest towards other people, turning it away from yourself.

Rule #18

When you talk to a person, look him in the face and address him by his first and patronymic.
Treating people with courtesy and respect strengthens the bonds between people.

Rule #19

If the conversation drags on for too long and you are forced to interrupt it, try to do it on a positive note so that your interlocutor retains the most pleasant memories and a good mood.

Rule #20

Learn to forgive. We must forgive everything and everyone:

  • Firstly, you need to forgive yourself not only for mistakes and wrong actions, but even for negative thoughts.
  • Secondly, you should forgive all the insults that others cause to you. You should not accumulate negative emotions in your soul.

The most tender communication in the world occurs between those who are not interested in communication. Marcel Proust

Psychological characteristics of men and women

The psychology of communication between a man and a woman presupposes an understanding of each other, our differences in the perception of life, reactions, and special rules of the female and male world.

Psychological characteristics of a woman:

  • perceives the world at the level of feelings, emotions, lives by experiences, is completely immersed in love;
  • has a need to discuss their problems, questions, share with friends, loved ones;
  • love to give advice and help with their knowledge;
  • needs care, understanding, as a manifestation of love;
  • feels the need for hugs, expressions of tenderness, affectionate words;
  • It is important for a woman to be the only one, to be loved, for a person to be devoted;
  • A woman’s confidence is often determined by a man’s attitude, he maintains the status of “beloved, desired, most beautiful”;
  • a woman loves more when she feels cared for, and behaves in the same way when she is in love - she shows care, attention, affection.

Psychological characteristics of a man:

  • men are focused on business, action, less susceptible to emotional outbursts;
  • rarely discuss their problems, try to solve them themselves or with close friends;
  • give advice when asked;
  • need trust, the woman he loves must trust him;
  • they don’t like being remade and taught how to live;
  • need admiration, recognition of merit;
  • approval of actions, praise are necessary for them, like air;
  • encouragement of good deeds, gratitude for help stimulate new aspirations;
  • a man expresses love through specific deeds (helping his beloved), helping to solve complex problems, through intimate relationships;
  • men are inspired to perform exploits, feeling that their woman needs them.

Thus, the psychology of communication between a man and a woman is built on mutual understanding, respect, recognition of the presence of special reactions in the opposite sex to life, emotions, manifestations of feelings; understanding this issue has a positive effect on establishing effective interaction and creating a strong family.

An example of communication psychology from the school curriculum

Read the tips below, which ones will you use when communicating with friends?

  1. Be friendly and friendly.
  2. Live in peace with each other.
  3. Conquer evil with good.
  4. Do good and do not be afraid of anyone.
  5. Speak boldly about a good deed.
  6. Love your neighbor as yourself.
  7. Win hearts with love, not fear.
  8. Don't be afraid of the knife, but of the tongue.
  9. Think, think about it, and say it.
  10. Be patient with everyone for a long time.

Determine the type of sentences based on the purpose of the statement. Why are sentences of this type used here?


Sentences No. 1, 2, 6, 9, 10 are motivating, they teach and advise.

Stages of a relationship between a guy and a girl: psychology

There are several stages of the relationship between a guy and a girl, the psychology of which has been revealed. There are rules to make relationships easier and simpler. After all, it is precisely because of small omissions, details and little things that people quarrel completely, breaking off relationships. To prevent this from happening, you must adhere to several rules. The very first stage is attraction. To attract attention, you need to be cunning and give what men love.

What men love:

  • Delicious food. Many will say that this is not the main thing, and it will not be possible to buy a man with tasty food. There is some truth in this, but you can’t live without delicious home-cooked food. Therefore, please your lover more often with new, interesting dishes, as well as your favorite food.
  • Smile more. This is due to the fact that a man mainly remembers pleasant emotions, so try to give them.
  • Try not to be annoying . Don’t call or pester your loved one with constant SMS. What is the optimal number of messages? Psychologists note that the maximum number is 7. That is, on average, 3-7 messages are enough to express your emotions and not interfere with your work. After all, long correspondence can annoy your lover, causing dissatisfaction, as well as a lack of time to do the main job. This is especially annoying if the young man has a busy day and a large number of tasks.


Bonus: 10 more golden rules of communication [UPD]

How to benefit from communicating with people and share the best with others?
Regardless of who you are: a psychologist, a businessman, or just an attentive spouse or friend, the rules of good communication are the same for everyone. Good conversation involves two things: listening and speaking. And for each of them there are 5 golden rules. It sounds simple enough, but many people forget that good communication involves not only talking, but also listening.

Moreover, it's safe to say that listening is a more important component: how can you know what to talk about if you don't first understand what the audience wants to hear?

Living together means less freedom

If you start living together, this is primarily a disadvantage.

All the shortcomings

What disadvantages can be identified if you started living together:

  1. This is especially a disadvantage if a serious relationship between young people occurs for the first time. You start looking for an apartment, find and arrange your things and begin to get used to each other.
  2. Everyone is used to different things and their own order . This can be such a painful process. Girls, as a rule, are more tidy, and men begin to scatter their things somewhere. Some kind of confrontation may begin here.
  3. First of all, this is the aspect of freedom . It will inevitably seem to both of you that somehow there is less living space. Especially if you lived alone before, there will be a clear problem of personal space. If it’s completely unbearable, then this can become a stumbling block for both of you.

Literally from the first days the question may arise: To live or not to live further?

But behind such a veil of love, everyone can forget about it , when in the first months of a relationship most of the time is spent in bed.

What rules of communication do you try to use in your life?

Psychologists recommend the following set of communication rules for every day:

  1. Show genuine interest in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that for a person, the sound of his name is the sweetest and most important sound of human speech.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to tell you about themselves.
  5. Talk about what interests your interlocutor.
  6. Make people feel important to you and do it sincerely. This rule is the most important!

What rules of communication between people do you know, and which do you try to use in your life?
Please share in the comments. Yabrova Ksenia Apr 12, 2019

Limiting Personal Preferences

The first explanation is because in this situation the girl believes she has the right to limit her boyfriend in his personal preferences. And if he does not change his position, the relationship will end. The second explanation lies in the key point of this situation: for her, everyday monotony is stability, and for him, it is routine. Plus there is intolerance to the choice of a partner. If they fail to come to an agreement and do not learn to give in, a similar outcome awaits them in the next relationship. The conclusion is simple - it is necessary to make a mutual compromise.

Resentment and tears if the grandiose plan to deceive failed5

Young ladies are accustomed to manipulating their parents even in childhood, releasing rivers of tears. This habit has continued with them into adulthood, so if your significant other cries after you refuse her something, then this is just a trick. Don't be fooled. She will cry theatrically for a while, but will soon calm down, but she will still be offended and perhaps even boycott you. Keep in mind that all this will pass after a short time and she will calm down.

Many men mistakenly believe that girls cry only because they are defenseless and weak, and too vulnerable. Perhaps there are some, but most of them are trying to manipulate and get what they want, just so that this show ends. Or, perhaps, they are counting on the fact that you will feel guilty and want to make it up to her right away, and for this to happen, you will have to do what she so strongly asked for. It's that simple.

Don't ask 9

It’s definitely not worth asking your female significant other for anything, as it’s simply not accepted. Even if these requests are basic, like “love me a little more, have sex with me more often, or ask my opinion.” Even women should definitely not ask them from you. When she deems it necessary, she will give you everything and even more than you could ask for. This is an important rule, as she herself will feel what you really need. Just let her realize it and understand it on her own, otherwise there will be no point.

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