How to calm a person: examples of psychological assistance

How to calm someone down

Every person in life faces certain difficulties that are not easy to overcome, and therefore his behavior changes dramatically. Some become more aggressive, while others, on the contrary, fall into a stupor. Both need to be reassured and supported so that they do not go through their difficulties alone.

Algorithm of actions

What kind of psychological help can be:

  1. You must try to remove the audience present and try to draw attention to yourself. The hysterical reaction will end the faster the fewer spectators watch it.
  2. In the absence of the possibility of removing viewers, it is important to become the most attentive listener, provide support, listen, nod, assent.
  3. You should talk less yourself. And if this is required, then it is necessary to speak, calling the person by name, using short phrases. If you exclude provoking phrases that fuel hysteria, then it will subside within 15 minutes.
  4. After the hysteria ends, a loss of strength is observed. It is important at this moment to give him the opportunity to rest well.

Knowledge of psychology will help here.

How to calm a person in hysterics is now clear.

Causes of hysterics

Despite the deep, personal problems of a person, the causes of a seizure lie on the surface.

The basis of all hysterics is the discrepancy between the desired result and the actual one. However, the driving forces that provoke an emotional explosion are different:

  • Constant lack of sleep;
  • Increased fatigue;
  • Hunger;
  • Chronic diseases;
  • Frequent conflicts;
  • Features of the nervous system;
  • Childhood psychological trauma.

What actions should you avoid?

However, you should refrain from the following actions:

  1. You should not make unexpected movements (should not shake, pour water on, or slap).
  2. It is necessary to refrain from active dialogues and disputes about his statements until the state of hysteria passes.
  3. One should not assume that a person is deliberately hysterical, trying to attract attention to himself.
  4. It should be remembered that hysterical reactions are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances.
  5. You should not use template phrases to encourage you to pull yourself together, collect yourself, or calm down.

We will learn further how to calm people down when they are aggressive.

Signs of hysteria

Hysterical attacks are accompanied by increased emotionality. At the same time, human behavior is uncontrollable. It is accompanied by the following symptoms:

  • Increased tone, reaching the point of screaming;
  • Tears;
  • Crying alternating with laughter;
  • Rapid breathing and heart rate;
  • Facial redness;
  • Tremor of limbs, convulsions;
  • Incoherent, not always understandable speech, stuttering;
  • Increased gesticulation.

The essence of a hysterical attack is to attract attention to yourself and your problems.

Help with aggression

Anger or aggressive reaction, anger can be of several types: non-verbal (when a person acts aggressively) and verbal (when he makes verbal threats).

Any of us, in the event of a sudden and significant disruption to our usual way of life, has the right to express irritation, anger, anger. In such situations, it is necessary to provide psychological assistance. It is necessary for a person to be able to cope with his own anger and a flurry of emotions.

Anger is an even more contagious emotional reaction than hysteria. If it is not stopped in time, it can become widespread. Very often, people who experienced this state later reported that they were surprised by such a reaction on their part.

In order to support a friend, it is important to accept his right to be angry and understand that the reaction is aimed at the circumstances, and not at a specific person.

So, how to calm an angry person:

  1. You should talk to him calmly, gradually reducing the volume and pace of your speech.
  2. It is important to speak more slowly, more quietly, than a person experiencing anger.
  3. You need to address him by name, asking him questions that can help you understand and formulate his requirements for the situation that has arisen.

Preventive measures

The best way to deal with stressful situations for adults and children is to prevent them. Of course, we cannot influence events that are beyond our control. For example, difficulties at work, accidents or the loss of a loved one. But many nervous conditions can be avoided by discussing problems in a timely manner. Don’t wait for them to accumulate and explode, but speak out and show emotions towards them. Throw out everything that is unpleasant to the soul. If necessary, contact specialists in a timely manner. Or use the psychological methods that I told you about today.

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Helping someone experiencing apathy

Apathy is a decrease in a person’s intellectual, behavioral, and emotional activity.

Very often, when a person finds himself in an emergency situation, he experiences such difficult experiences that he is unable to immediately comprehend what has happened. The state of apathy in such cases is a form of psychological anesthesia.

Helping a person in a state of apathy:

  1. If there is such a possibility, then it is necessary to give the apathy reaction the opportunity to take place and provide the victim with rest and comfortable conditions.
  2. In the absence of such an opportunity, it is important to help him get out of the current state gently.
  3. Moderate physical activity (simple exercises, walking together), drinking tea together will be effective.
  4. You should talk to him, ask him simple questions that show that you are concerned about his well-being.
  5. Make it clear that the state of apathy that he is experiencing is a normal reaction to the circumstances that have arisen.
  6. If the apathy reaction is allowed to take place, a person will be able to understand what happened in a mode that is comfortable for him.

The following actions should be avoided:

  1. You cannot call for calm and encourage him to pull himself together using moral standards as arguments.
  2. You should not stop the state of apathy unless absolutely necessary, pull him out of such a state.

Everyone should know how to comfort a person.

Resentment in psychology

Resentment is a negatively colored reaction to what is happening or has already happened, closely intertwined with a sense of justice.

Researchers do not classify resentment as an innate emotion, unlike anger, which is inherent even in infants. The age of first grievances occurs in the period from 2 to 5 years, when the child learns to imitate.

Resentment arises as a result of the following thought processes:

  1. Building expectations/forming desires/assumptions.
  2. Observing an unsatisfactory present.
  3. Comparison with what was expected.
  4. Reaction: conscious with taking responsibility on oneself or unconscious with shifting responsibility to others.

What is fear?

Fear is an emotion that protects us from dangerous and risky actions. Everyone experiences it from time to time.

Fear becomes dangerous when it is unjustified and expressed so strongly that it can deprive a person of the ability to act and think. The emergence of strong fear is also a normal reaction of the psyche to current abnormal situations. Once fear arises, it can settle in the soul for a long time. In this case, it begins to interfere with a normal life, forcing you to give up relationships, actions, and any actions.

The more time a person spends with his fear, the more difficult it is to overcome it. That is why the faster the victim copes with it, the less likely it is that it will develop into a problem that will bother you for many years. How to calm a person in an extreme situation?

What to do when you are very touchy and vulnerable? TOP 5 ways to cope with resentment

Awareness of the problem is the first step towards healing . This is a sure sign of your willingness to work on yourself. If you understand that you quarrel with people even in situations where they did not intend to offend you, then it is time to change.

The following tips will help you cope with such difficult feelings as resentment.

  1. Keep a journal to record your emotions. Write down how your mood changes throughout the day and note what influences the changes. When someone or something offends you, record this fact on the same day, describing in detail why exactly you were annoyed. Over time, you will be able to identify the main sources of irritation and separate fictitious grievances from real ones.
  2. Realize that this affects your health. Scientists from Stanford University in the USA conducted a social study and found that people who healed old traumas and grievances (either on their own or with the help of a psychotherapist) also got rid of migraines, back pain and insomnia.
  3. Plan your day ahead. If you are constantly busy with your favorite job, hobby and communicating with pleasant people, then there is simply no time left for grudges. Remove all “windows” from your schedule during which you can remember old grievances and become sad. But this does not mean that you do not need to rest. If you want to watch an interesting series over a cup of coffee in the evening, fit it into your schedule.
  4. In a healthy body healthy mind. Get physically active! It has been proven that sport is an excellent stress reliever and releases accumulated negative energy. This could be yoga, fitness or a morning run. Try it and you will see - being in a cheerful mood, you will not experience such strong emotional stress.
  5. Review your social circle. List on one sheet of paper all those people with whom you enjoy and feel comfortable communicating, who listen to you and support you. On the other, those who cause irritation, embarrassment and are constantly trying to hurt you. Reduce communication with people from the second list to an acceptable minimum. If you think that this leaves you with too few social contacts, then think about where you can find friends with similar interests.

Help with fear

  1. It is important not to leave the victim alone, as this will make it harder for him to bear this feeling.
  2. If the power of fear is so great that it can paralyze, you need to ask him to do a few simple actions: hold his breath for as long as possible, and then try to focus on slow, calm breathing.
  3. The next technique is based on the idea that fear is also an emotion, and any emotion can be weakened by engaging in mental activity. That is, you can try to offer a person simple intellectual actions, for example, subtracting from 100 by 6.
  4. When fear subsides, you should talk to him about what scared him. It is important not to stir up emotions, but to give the opportunity to speak out. It is necessary to make it clear that fear in the current situation is a normal reaction.

How to support a woman

Women are very emotional by nature. Any of their grief, as a rule, is accompanied by rivers of tears. And this is good - negative emotions that find a way out do not destroy the body.

Get ready to be a vest for your wife, girlfriend or girlfriend for some time. Let her talk it out and have a good cry. Don't interrupt or be distracted, make it clear that you care about her grief.

Representatives of the fair sex need tactile contact more than men. Friendly hugs sometimes work better than any words. You can take the girl by the hand, pat her on the head, offer your shoulder. Just watch the response. If she pulls away, maintain a comfortable distance.

One medicine always works for all girls - shopping. But only if the scale of the problem is not too large. If, for example, someone close to her died, she found out that she has cancer and is in the hospital before surgery, then there is no time for shopping.

If you want to better understand male and female psychology and relationships between the sexes, read our selection of books on relationship psychology.

Help with severe anxiety

Anxiety differs from a state of fear in that in the first case a person is afraid of certain things (accidents, a child’s illness, trips on the subway, etc.), and in the second, he cannot formulate what exactly causes him such a state. Thus, an anxious state is in some sense emotionally more severe than a feeling of fear.

Very often its source is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of information, which is typical for almost every emergency situation.

An anxious state can last for quite a long time, depriving one of energy and strength, paralyzing the ability to act, and taking away the opportunity for rest.

Help for a person experiencing anxiety includes the following:

  1. If such a reaction occurs, it is important to try to distract him and get him talking, trying to understand what exactly causes this condition. In this case, there is a chance that he will understand the source of the anxiety, after which it will develop into fear, which is much easier to cope with.
  2. Anxiety often arises if the victim does not receive sufficient information about the event that is occurring. In this case, you can analyze what information is required, where, how and when it can be obtained.

Unacceptable actions:

  1. A person should not be left alone.
  2. It is forbidden to convince him that the anxiety is unfounded.
  3. You cannot hide information, even if it may be negative for him.

Help in difficult life situations can be irreplaceable.

If a child is hysterical

For infants, loud crying is a signal of discomfort, pain, or unmet need. For older children, crying and hysterics are often a way of manipulating parents to get what they want. And, as a rule, it is very difficult for parents to calm a raging child. No matter how they persuade, exhort or threaten, nothing works. Over time, such manipulations become a habitual pattern of behavior.

The task of mothers and fathers is to accustom their child to the fact that not all his wishes can come true. How to stop the child's violent protests? 1. Parents should master themselves first. There is no point in explaining to the child the reasons for refusal, shouting at him and attacking him. Moreover, there is no need to punish! If this is difficult, move away from him. But without emotional outbursts and comments, calmly. 2. If you see that your child is scared by his own reaction and “crazy,” then hug him and provide support. Explain, if he does not show irritation, that this happens and it will pass. The baby should not worry about this. 3. Next, distract the child with a game, an interesting cartoon, or a snack. And don't focus on what happened. 4. Unfortunately, most often children begin to behave uncontrollably in stores, clinics, and on the street. In this case, you need to go to a place where there are fewer people and turn away from the crying child. Deprived of spectators, he will quickly stop making noise.

In addition to the fact that the main task is not to be provoked, parents must understand why their little one does this. Perhaps this is the only way to express your desires when parents are overly authoritarian. Then you should reconsider your attitude towards your child and become more democratic. Or she does this because she doesn’t know how to show her emotions. In this case, you need to teach it. For example, talk about the emotions that the child experiences. “Now you are irritated, but this is temporary”, “I see that you are angry now”, etc.

Physical anti-stress barrier

Water treatments

They are able to normalize the tone of the nervous system due to temperature and reflex mechanical effects. Even at home today it is quite possible to take advantage of a relaxing bath, hydromassage or contrast shower. It is traditionally believed that a bath relaxes, and a shower tones the nervous system.

  • In everyday life, baths with a water temperature of 35-37 degrees Celsius are shown. It makes sense to add solutions or decoctions of herbal sedatives (valerian, motherwort) to the water. The duration of the bath is from 15 minutes to half an hour.
  • Among the physiotherapeutic variations of baths, pearl ones are known (with hydromassage, creating the effect of many bubbles). The massage effect can be achieved through the flow of water or air, which allows you to eliminate muscle tightness and not worry about trifles.
  • For depressed states, chronic fatigue syndrome and a tendency to depressive disorders, starting with the French neurologist Charcot, contrast showers are used in different versions. Its purpose is to stimulate and relax certain areas of the skin with a water jet of different temperatures, training blood vessels and nerves to adequately respond to stressful needs.


This is not just an antediluvian variation of temperature stimulation of the skin, but also an entire ritual that allows a person to tune in to cleansing the soul and body and getting rid of everyday negative emotions (see the benefits and harms of baths and saunas). Combines physiotherapy and meditation.


This is a stressful variant of temperature exposure. Trains the body to respond adequately to cold stress. mobilizing all possibilities. With long-term practice, it leads to a paradoxical vascular response: instead of spasm, the vessels respond to cold by expanding their lumen. You need to start hardening yourself gradually, first by giving up indoor shoes. Gradually moving on to dousing with cool water and doing gymnastics in the fresh air. Terminal hardening options: dousing with ice water in the cold, swimming in an ice hole and walking barefoot in the snow.

Why am I tense?

The reasons why you experience constant tension and fatigue can be very diverse. The most common of them are:

  • overload at work;
  • conflict situations on the street and at home;
  • financial difficulties and unforeseen situations;
  • stress from unpleasant news;
  • nervous tension due to constant noise;
  • frequent negative thoughts.

As a result, a lot of negative energy accumulates inside you. It puts pressure not only psychologically. Instinctively, your body tries to protect itself from the influence of negativity. As a result, you get tight muscles, poor sleep and frequent pain in different parts of the body.

Residents of megacities are more often exposed to stressful situations. This is due to the increased speed of life, which is why it is so important to be able to relax quickly without wasting precious time. Otherwise, your body will not be able to cope even with everyday activities.

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