There are moments and situations in life that are quite painful to remember. Sometimes years pass after events, and unpleasant thoughts do not leave a person alone. In this article you will learn how to forget painful memories of unpleasant situations, erase negativity, clear your memory of junk and unnecessary information.
We have prepared some useful tips and methods to help you leave the heavy burden of the past and take a new step into a clean future. You must realize that these changes are entirely up to you . How to control your subconscious and make your memory work for you? Read below.
Forget all the details associated with memories
To get rid of bad memories, forget about the details, people, and emotions associated with them. Details may include smells, sounds or images associated with an event you do not want to remember. For example, if you don't want to think about a traumatic event, remove the details associated with it from your mind. It could be the song playing in the background or the faces that were looking at you at the time.
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Contact a professional: free yourself from negativity with the help of a specialist
Elena Kalachikova is a professional memory development trainer, head of the Shaleniy Ravlik school, a teacher of the highest category with sixteen years of experience. Elena works with children from 5 years old, schoolchildren, students, adults, foreigners and people of retirement age. The trainer claims that he knows everything about memory and can easily teach not only to remember the necessary information, but also to forget negative experiences.
Elena guarantees forgetting negative information using the image of water, rubber band or fire, and also uses the method of repeatedly speaking out an unpleasant situation. We will be glad to see you at the Shaleniy Ravlik school. There is strength in everyone!
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Do this daily
Suppressing unpleasant memories is difficult. Any thought that is suppressed tends to ricochet. For example, if you want to block the emotions associated with a car accident, your brain looks for any thought about it to block it. This makes it, so to speak, more accessible. That is, when you don’t block it, the thought rushes back and again haunts you. Thus, you need to block memories on a daily basis. You need to regularly push them out of your consciousness.
How to forget an unpleasant event?
When thinking about how to forget something forever, you should resort to the following method. You will be required to relive the negative event without changing the plot. It is important that you feel emotionally what happened in the past. Remember all the little things you can.
Then imagine that all this happened not to you, but to someone else. What advice would you give to this person? Surely you would see the situation from a different angle. Put yourself in the shoes of the people who participated in it. What emotions are you feeling now? Most likely, you will not be so offended by everything that happened. After this, imagine how the picture fades and then disappears from your field of vision. You can even mentally drown her in sulfuric acid. She is no more, she has disappeared, she has died, which means you can let everything go. Understand that the past is dead and will never come back. Once you understand this, the pain will go away.
Our article will help you erase negative events from your life - How to forget the past.
Don't focus too much on blocking thoughts
Blocked thoughts tend to come to life faster and more strongly when you give them too much meaning and attention. Recognize the fact that suppressing thoughts is very difficult, but you must continue to work at it, while trying not to overdo it.
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How can you forget something terrible?
You can erase a terrible event from your memory by switching your brain to something completely different. This could be work, a new hobby, dating. Also, you shouldn’t be alone, otherwise thoughts about what happened will simply haunt you. It’s better to spend some time with friends and relatives. Of course, from time to time, memories of a negative event will pop up in your memory, but every day it will hurt you less and less.
Some people have nightmares in which they return to that terrible reality and relive it. In this case, you need to think only about good things before going to bed. For example, thank your Higher Power for the positive things that happened over the past day. It could be:
- meeting with an old friend;
- your baby's smile or first words;
- a pleasant memory - a cute kitten or puppy, a beautiful butterfly.
You can also watch a comedy, a concert of your favorite artist, or listen to a new album before going to bed. It is important that you take your mind off what is weighing you down. As a result, you will go to bed in high spirits, which means you will only have pleasant dreams.
Become aware of the memory
Another theory suggests that becoming fully aware of the memory and the negative emotions associated with it will help you cope with painful emotions. Feel angry, sad, or hurt. Squeal, scream, cry. Let go of your emotions to reduce their power over you.
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Why do housewives break dishes?
How to forget a person who offended you or caused you pain? Generally speaking, it is better not to forget such a person. The brain will try to retain such memories in order to recognize a similar situation in advance and prevent it from happening again.
But it is possible and necessary to make such a memory less painful. First of all, for this you need to clearly and clearly understand what mistake you made in your relationship with this person? What exactly was the cause of your problem? What can you do next time to prevent the situation from happening again? This will help the brain finish analyzing the situation and send the memory of it to long-term memory.
And the next step is to free the memory of the offender from the emotional charge.
One of the easiest ways to forget an offender and at the same time relieve stress was invented by our grandmothers - breaking dishes. You take a plate, mentally draw the face of the offender on it, name it with a name you hate and - with all your might, hit the wall! You can also use a hammer. The main thing is that children and small animals do not get caught in the hail of shrapnel.
By the way, in Japan, where they started fighting stress earlier than in Europe and achieved some success, there is a chain of cafes where you can break dishes. They say that quarreling married couples often come there, have dinner, break dishes and make up. So don't be shy - go for it.
If it helps, very good. If not, then to consolidate the effect, you can use the following simple and effective method.
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Use a release ritual to erase your memory
This is a mental exercise, a kind of ritual to free yourself from negative emotions or memories that have settled in your mind. Write down every detail of the memory that you want to forget. Allow yourself to write openly, knowing that no one will read it. Then you need to burn the sheet of paper. When you see that the paper is on fire, you mentally release the memory. Alternatively, you can also tear or shred the paper into small pieces, this also helps a lot.
Come up with the end of the movie
The effect can be further enhanced by changing the ending.
For the brain there is no difference between imagination and reality. Therefore, if in your imagination you replace the ending from a negative one to a positive one, the brain will easily believe it, and the memory will immediately lose its former significance for it, since it will no longer be associated with safety.
How to change the ending of an unpleasant memory? The easiest way to do this is through humor, especially black humor. For example, if you were watching a story on an imaginary screen, then next time try adding a couple of funny details to your movie.
Now your offender says those very words that you can’t get out of your memory, and at that moment his pants suddenly fall down, and you see that a pig’s tail is growing from behind him.
If you wrote the story down on paper (imaginary or real), you can crumple the paper and burn it. And while it burns, imagine the images that you want to get rid of.
For example, the face of the person you want to erase from your memory, his figure, voice, smell. Imagine in detail how it burns, how it is distorted, how it chars and turns into ashes.
Take the ashes that are left from your burnt letter and flush it down the toilet. You can at the same time imagine how this person is drowning, how he is choking, how he is pulling his hands out of the toilet, how he is screaming: save, help...
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And you are his brush! With a brush!
This procedure needs to be repeated several times, each time trying to bring it to the absurdity of plots from children's horror stories. Now your enemy is burning, and his hand has come off and crawled to the side. And you use her poker - you're a bastard! And they threw it back into the fire...
Come up with a sitcom or a comedy of manners. Make a vaudeville or parody out of your story.
And, most importantly, do not forget to completely and finally kill the negative hero. Not necessarily physically. Possibly morally. But your victory over him must be complete, absolute, final and preferably funny.
The sooner you can turn drama into comedy in your imagination, the less and less often you will be bothered by memories of the original event. With a good imagination, this method can get rid of an unpleasant memory in a few sessions.
And when you take on the next one, it will be easier for you. Letha techniques have an interesting property - the more you use them, the better they work. Gradually you will learn to forget what you want to forget without the slightest effort.
Practice mindfulness
Learn to focus on the present moment instead of thinking and worrying about your past, which cannot be changed or predicted in the future. Don't go through your day on autopilot. Notice and pay attention to small details, sights, smells and sounds. Regular meditation practice will help you to be mindful and appreciate every moment of life.
Why the past won't let you go
Family psychologist and coach Tatyana Brain identifies several reasons:
Resentment. Hidden grievances do not allow us to live peacefully here and now. The words and actions of our offenders constantly come to mind. Mentally we are trying to prove something to them, explain something, and conduct dialogues. We continue to reopen old wounds that take away a lot of our strength and joy from living in the present.
To overcome resentment you need to get rid of its four components:
- A hurt sense of justice.
- Self-pity.
- Anger towards the offender.
- Unjustified expectations.
Guilt. We constantly remember our mistakes for which we are responsible or burn with shame for the past. But self-flagellation is the road to nowhere. Consider mistakes made or missed opportunities as good life experiences that taught you a lot. If you have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness from those who have suffered misfortune, ask.
Pity for yourself or other people. Being in a state of victim, a person constantly whines, complains about an unhappy life and injustice. The victim's position is to attract attention to oneself or to shift responsibility for one's misfortunes onto others.
Fear of an unknown future. A person is scared that in the future he will need to adapt to something new, change his habits, his life. Therefore, he lives in the memories of the past, where everything is known and familiar.
Automate familiar actions
Try to accustom yourself to automaticity in performing current tasks and responsibilities. Then you won't have to remember them and will complete them when needed. For example, get into the habit of paying your household bills online. Or enter all the birthdays into your smartphone so that it reminds you of them at least a week before the event. Plan a week in advance for dinners with friends, clothes, necessary housework, etc. The more clearly everything is planned, the less stress you will have to feel.
The destructive habit of saving: consequences for the hero
Why shouldn't you solve other people's problems? This is disastrous for the saving party. You simply risk living someone else's life, full of sorrows and hardships. Have you noticed that people who are inclined to help everyone are often, by an unimaginable coincidence, attracted to the unfortunate and suffering? These can be not only those closest to you, but also those whom, from the point of view of common sense, it is not necessary to help. And all because the “helpers” willingly hang problematic relatives, friends, and other people in need. Hyper-responsible people, due to the specifics of their thinking, simply cannot refuse. It is very difficult to stop this process. Over time, it becomes a common habit for others to shift problems onto other people’s shoulders. Initiative, as we know, is punishable, therefore, everything happens according to the scenario of a wise everyday saying:
“If you helped once, they will thank you, if you helped twice, they will take you for granted, and if you refuse the third request, they will hate you.”
What is the danger of hyper-responsibility to your detriment?
- You accept a moral burden that you obviously cannot bear;
- Someone else's responsibility shifted to you creates a state of chronic stress;
- Your life passes by, and unresolved problems give rise to new, more complex ones.
In the end, such people cease to feel reality, since the squirrel's route along the wheel does not imply constructivism. In severe cases, when stress develops into depression, you cannot do without the help of a good psychotherapist.
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Content
- Where do memories come from?
- Emotionality
- One frank conversation
Hello, dear readers! Our whole life is a series of events. Some are forgotten instantly, while others can cause pain for a considerable time. They spoil your mood, cause negative feelings and complicate the future.
Today we will talk about how to forget unpleasant memories. You will learn how they are formed, how they actually affect your life, why you concentrate on them and how to get rid of the burdens of your previous life once and for all.
