Nadya Zima
Copywriter and journalist. Interests: fiction, culture and psychology.
From joy and euphoria to schadenfreude and bitterness, laughter can express the entire range of human emotions. If we try to control manifestations of anger consciously, then a sincere smile usually does not encounter psychological barriers and, appearing spontaneously on the face, becomes a clue to the personality.
The cheerfulness of a person is the most outstanding feature of a person, with legs and arms. It takes a long time to figure out a different character, but the person will laugh very sincerely, and his whole character will suddenly appear in full view. Only with the highest and happiest development can a person know how to have fun sociably, that is, irresistibly and good-naturedly.
F. M. Dostoevsky, “Teenager”
What is a sense of humor and can it be developed?
A sense of humor is a person’s ability to see the funny in stories, surroundings or a situation. It allows you to quickly find a common language with other people, helps reduce the number of quarrels and has a positive effect on health.
Many people ask: “What is humor?” I would say that this is an intellectual ability that allows you to find contradictions in the world around you, notice humorous aspects, and use laughter triggers. That is why a sense of humor is not something that is given or not given from birth and can be developed through simple but regular classes and exercises.
How to learn sarcasm and how does it differ from a simple joke?
How to learn sarcasm? Sarcasm differs from a simple joke or humorous remark in that it is somewhat caustic and harsh. Open sarcasm can put a person “in his place,” rudely point out his shortcomings, or caustically note an action.
These are, of course, extreme expressions. Is it possible to learn sarcasm in a mild form? So that everyone can understand, but not offend anyone? It is possible if you adhere to some general rules.
- Read more. Let it be scientific, popular science, analytical, and fiction. Expand your knowledge and horizons, learn to compare.
- Study the performances of satirists, stand-up comedians, and comic actors. Learn how they notice, how they present the material, what exactly comedians pay attention to and how the audience perceives it.
- Read literature on psychology: it is on this that the sarcastic perception of the world and society is based.
- Practice pronouncing words and phrases: for sarcasm to work, it must be pronounced clearly and sharply. Otherwise, they will be considered just an angry loser.
- Don't overdo it with sarcastic remarks. Let them be rare, but accurate.
How to develop a sense of humor in yourself
You sit in front of a TV or computer screen and watch KVN, “Projector Paris Hilton”, “League of Laughter” or some other program. Has it ever happened that you laughed until your stomach hurt and couldn’t stop? At such moments, you probably asked yourself the questions: “How can they come up with something funny on the fly?”, “Eh, it wouldn’t hurt me to learn how to joke funny,” “Is it possible to develop a sense of humor in yourself?”
Watch the 2021 episode “SpotlightParisHilton” in the video, cheer up and boost your sense of humor a little:
I’m sure you definitely have friends with whom it’s always fun, because they constantly tell jokes or some funny incidents from life. None of them graduated from acting school, so you think: “You can only be a comedian from birth” or “What a simple joke, but everyone laughs until they cry.”
Maybe some joke has already appeared in your head several times, but you were afraid to just say it? At this time, someone else joked the way you wanted. Yes, you again did not dare to make jokes, like Urgant or Pavel Volya, so you need to get rid of fears, love yourself and just learn to joke in any situation.
Now let's look at the reasons for the lack of a sense of humor:
- You never set out to develop a sense of humor and wit. Agree, it is unlikely that you would become a good marketer, businessman, teacher or doctor if you did not study. This is how things are with humor. Do you want to learn how to joke? Practice, practice, practice.
- You are a very smart person. Studies have been conducted that have determined that people with developed creative thinking are more successful jokers. Why? Because a joke is an unexpected combination of words, and not a strict algorithm. But even a very smart person can develop a good sense of humor, the main thing is to practice.
- You are sick. British psychologists have concluded that loss of a sense of humor may be a signal of the onset of Alzheimer's disease. Just don’t rush to go to the doctor, try to improve your sense of humor first.
I would like to note one more important truth: a person with a good sense of humor should not be funny or amusing. The goal is to learn to see the positive in any situation, reduce stress from the crazy pace of modern life and develop your own charisma.
Mismatch theory
The presented theory has its roots in the views of Arthur Schopenhauer, who believed that the cause of laughter always lies in the sudden perception of a discrepancy between ideas about objects and their real images. This discrepancy is the most important factor determining the comedy of a joke: everything that does not meet expectations, everything that seems unusual, peculiar, amazingly absurd, seems funny.
This idea was developed by the British psychologist Hans Eysenck. He believed that the cause of laughter is the sudden intuitive integration of incompatible or contradictory ideas, feelings or attitudes objectively experienced by a person. The idea was also developed by journalist and psychologist Arthur Koestler: he introduced the term bisociation, which occurs when an event, situation or idea is perceived at the same time from two completely logical, but incomparable angles.
It is worth noting the theory of inconsistency resolution by Thomas Schultz. He believed that what allows a joke to be understood is not the incongruity, but its resolution in the joke: it is the moment of the punchline in the joke that generates cognitive incongruity through the introduction of information inconsistent with expectations. For this reason, the listener returns to the beginning of the joke and tries to identify the ambiguity that will resolve the incongruity.
There is also a two-stage theory of understanding humor proposed by psychologist Jerry Suls. In it, the main part of the joke creates an incongruity that causes the listener to assume the likely outcome. The discrepancy between the outcome and expectations causes the listener to be surprised and look for a cognitive rule to restore the cause-and-effect logic, the beginning and the outcome. After finding this rule, the inconsistency can be eliminated, the joke is perceived as funny, and humor becomes the result of eliminating the inconsistency.
The theory is certainly valid, but even this time scientific research (in particular by the German psychologist Kurt Goldstein and his colleagues) showed that incongruity, although necessary, is not the only condition for humor. We must not forget about a person’s psychological mood for humor and his emotional readiness for it. Incongruity theory comes closer to understanding humor, but not to explaining its emotional pleasantness.
Developing a sense of humor: what is the mysterious force that makes people laugh?
The answer to this question will help you understand how to develop a good sense of humor. It's simple: people laugh in surprise. A good comedian predicts this reaction in advance, since in his jokes he first creates the effect of expectation, and then reveals what the audience did not expect to hear.
Now you know about the mysterious power that makes people laugh until they cry. This force mentally leads the audience in one direction (magicians have a similar technique called misdirection), and then comes a surprise or punchline (magicians call this stage reveal).
What makes people laugh
An attentive listener has already imagined a certain picture in his imagination, but as a result he learns about something that he did not even imagine. Surprise or surprise causes laughter.
Do you think magicians are born talented? No, they plan their focus in advance. The same goes for a comedian. He does not have the gift of a sense of humor from birth, but carefully prepares his joke. Both the magician and the comedian create a certain plot in people’s imaginations, which has a beginning, a climax and an ending.
Since you and I are just learning how to develop a sense of humor, we will use photos and examples to visualize certain pictures so that you can understand more clearly how it works.
Here's an example : Imagine a blind person walking with a guide dog.
Everyone imagines an ordinary blind person and an ordinary guide dog, whom they have already seen on the street. Everything goes well.
Developing your imagination: imagine a blind man with a dog
A man walks into a bar and orders, “Rum and Coke, please, and a beer for my guide dog.” Everyone pictures the same scene in their minds.
Develop your imagination: imagine here the same blind man with a guide dog and a bartender behind the bar
Then the bartender says: “Are you saying that this poodle is your guide dog?” Surprise, right? The audience will already laugh at this phrase, but there is still a punchline waiting for them. This is what magicians call the reveal. The blind man says in bewilderment: “They gave me a poodle?”
A joke with an unexpected punchline
Did you laugh? Although I warned you that there would be a real punchline, you still laughed or at least smiled. The thing is that you simply did not expect such a punch. For you, as for others, it was a surprise. I want you to learn this lesson in developing a sense of humor: surprise is what makes anyone laugh until they cry, even with the simplest jokes.
The surprise factor is essential when writing any joke, and coming up with it will help you understand how to develop a sense of humor. Now a small task for you: every time you laugh at something, even if it’s trivial. Ask yourself, “What made me laugh?” The answer will always be the same: “I didn’t expect him to answer that way” or “I didn’t expect such a development in the story.”
How to come up with jokes for a girl, KVN or friends with an unexpected development? You need to know for sure that your listeners are listening to you carefully and that they have encountered similar situations in their lives. In addition, it is important to be sure that the listeners understand all the phrases used. If you use complex and unfamiliar terms, you will ruin the surprise effect and fail to make your audience laugh.
The secret of a good joke
Let's summarize:
- How to develop a sense of humor? Try writing your own jokes, even if you don't like them at first.
- How to write a funny joke? Understand the mechanism that causes laughter and turn on the effect of surprise.
Now you understand that all comedians joke with prepared and rehearsed jokes. I want to assure you that you can joke like that too if you know some methods of misdirection and punchline with the effect of surprise.
You can read useful information in the article: An important condition for a successful joke: misdirection and brevity
Of course, developing a sense of humor in yourself without the help of a teacher is very difficult and time-consuming. I understand this very well, so I conduct free webinars every month and help them write jokes, come up with unexpected punchlines, and simply get rid of the blues with the help of laughter and analysis of jokes from famous comedians.
You can sign up for the free webinar here.
Test your knowledge
If you want to test your knowledge on the topic of this lesson, you can take a short test consisting of several questions. For each question, only 1 option can be correct. After you select one of the options, the system automatically moves on to the next question. The points you receive are affected by the correctness of your answers and the time spent on completion. Please note that the questions are different each time and the options are mixed.
Statistics Full screen
← Types and techniques What you can’t joke about →
How to develop a sense of humor. Exercises
To have a good sense of humor and learn to joke, it is enough to do simple exercises every day.
Exercise 1.
Look at the photo, choose any letter from the alphabet and make a long sentence using words starting with the chosen letter. Try to use at least 10 words, including prepositions/conjunctions starting with the same letter.
Alphabet for performing exercises to develop a sense of humor
Now read the sentence. Try reading with different intonations or at different paces. Don't forget to smile, because you develop a sense of humor and learn to look at familiar things from a new angle.
Exercise 2.
Use acting skills. No, you don't need to be a real actor, just use gestures, facial expressions and intonation when telling funny things or getting into ridiculous situations.
Learning to joke on a trolleybus
For example, someone steps on your foot in the subway or trolleybus. You used to say, “You stepped on my foot.” The man, of course, apologized and removed his leg. BUT! This same situation could be played out comically. You need to say: “You are standing on my foot, let's switch places.” After you have switched places, you step on the person’s foot and smile. Such a joke will defuse a tense situation on crowded public transport and show that you have a good sense of humor.
Exercise 3.
Come up with a new use for a common item. This exercise helps not only to develop a sense of humor, but also imagination.
So, let's take a regular hammer.
Photo of a regular hammer
Do you have any ideas on how it can be used other than for driving nails? I’ll help you a little and give examples:
- The blonde takes the hammer like a telephone receiver.
- A summer resident digs a hole to plant potatoes.
- The musician uses it as a musical instrument.
The hammer can also be used as a bit for a fishing rod, a neck decoration, as a ruler or a toothpick (if you sharpen the handle a little).
Try to sit and come up with 15 options for each subject. Even if the first ones aren’t very funny, by the 10th your brain will be “boiling,” but the last ones will definitely be funny. Make a list of simple items and come up with new uses for them.
Exercise 4.
Let's try to generate jokes and develop a sense of humor and wit through irony. Download cool photos to your computer, for example, a cat wearing a slipper or holding a toothbrush. Try to find at least 15 photos with something unusual. After that, start making captions for them. Try to make 2 or more so that you can choose the funniest one.
Here's an example of a photo of a cat with a toothbrush.
We use a funny photo of a cat to do the exercise.
What comes to mind? “Fresh breath makes it easier to understand...” or “Well, let him chew his Orbit without sugar.” Maybe you came up with something more ingenious?
Remember: everyone can learn to joke in any situation, it’s just that some people are better at it, and others are worse. The main thing to remember is that a sense of humor, if developed, gives everyone many advantages:
- Helps you find a common language with people, get a job, and make deals.
- Allows you to develop your memory (you will have to remember comedians' jokes and anecdotes).
- Eases the reaction to stress and tension (yes, a sense of humor helps get rid of depression).
What books to read to develop a sense of humor
Many jokes are based on wordplay, so the more vocabulary you have, the easier it is to come up with funny things. I recommend reading as much as possible! No, not jokes and public posts on social networks, but books. If you don't like to read, then an audiobook will be your assistant.
In the photo there is a book by I. Ilf and E. Petrov, which has subtle humor
I offer you a list of literature in which subtle humor can be traced:
- "12 chairs". Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov;
- “Three in the boat, not counting the dog.” Jerome Klapka Jerome;
- "Golden calf". Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov;
- "Miracles in a sieve." Arkady Averchenko;
- “Suitcase” Sergey Dovlatov;
- “Evenings on a farm near Dikanka” N.V. Gogol;
- “Heart of a Dog”, “Fatal Eggs” N.V. Bulgakov.
These are just some of the works of great writers who had a unique sense of humor and wit. When reading books or listening to audiobooks, pay attention to the images, the charisma of the characters, the construction of sentences, humor and satire. To improve your vocabulary, you can also read Donald Trump's book "The Art of the Deal." I hope you understand that reading helps improve memory, develop imagination, wit, develop a sense of humor and improves vocabulary.
Yuri Tamberg: How to develop a sense of humor
Separately, I want to talk about Yuri Tamberg’s book “How to Develop a Sense of Humor.” In it you will find useful tips on what and when to laugh at, and when not to laugh. The author gave many examples of jokes, tests, anecdotes that will help you improve your sense of humor, look at the world with a positive attitude and cheer you up.
Who is Yu. Tamberg and why do many people want to buy his audiobooks or read him online? Yuri Tamberg is a member of the TRIZ team. Many people know him as the author of teaching aids and books. Currently he is running a TRIZ school in Novgorod with specializations: pedagogy, TRIZ for engineers, business and management. In addition to the book “How to Develop a Sense of Humor,” Yu. Tamberg wrote the following books:
- “Development of a child’s intellect”;
- "Intellectual games in the intelligent.
If you liked Y. Tamberg’s book “How to Develop a Sense of Humor,” then read other books by this author. Remember that reading any literature expands your vocabulary, which means it will be much easier for you to write funny jokes.
Sense of humor test
Some people laugh at a funny joke, some while watching a comedy or KVN, and some just like that, for no reason. Do you have a sense of humor or is it completely absent and needs to be developed? Take a simple test and find out!
Answer the following questions and count your points:
- Are you holding back your laughter?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Do you get irritated when you stand in line?
Yes –0
No –3
- Do you find a common language with children?
Yes –3
No –0
- Do you often experience blues/depression?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Do you like to fantasize and can you imagine yourself in a situation you have never been in?
Yes – 3 points
No – 0 points
- Does your mood depend on the results you see?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Do you often get irritated?
Yes – 0
No –3
- Do you like nice words addressed to you?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Would you tell a friend that his jokes are “flat”?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Trying to get noticed at a new company?
Yes – 3
No –0
- Do you like risk?
Yes – 3
No – 0
- Can you respond to sarcasm?
Yes – 0
No - 3
- Are you a sociable person?
Yes – 3
No – 0
- Do you condemn psychics?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Do you like to joke?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Do you feel nervous when watching a football match?
Yes – 3
No – 0
- Do you like telling jokes?
Yes – 3
No – 0
- Will you make a comment to a girl/boyfriend about his/her appearance?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- End justifies the means?
Yes – 0
No – 3
- Would you be upset if they told you that you have no sense of humor?
Yes – 0
No – 3
Now count up your points and find out the test results to see if you have a good sense of humor or if you need to improve it.
So:
From 0 to 15 points . A smile on your face is a rare occurrence, but it can be fixed. Yes, you are too serious a person and rarely laugh just like that. BUT, if you do the exercises, read books and come to my webinars, you will quickly develop a sense of humor in yourself.
From 18 to 27 points . A sense of humor is not a distinctive feature of your character, but at the same time, in some situations you can joke quite funny. Don’t take everything that happens in the world too seriously, then many problems will leave you forever.
From 30 to 48 points . Your motto in life is to give people joy, enthusiasm and positive emotions. You easily feel the line when humor is appropriate and when it is not. Even during serious difficulties, you look at the world with optimism, and this greatly helps you in life. Of course, don't stop exercising to improve your sense of humor.
From 51 to 60 points . You 100% have a sense of humor, but sometimes it can play a trick on you. Your friends and acquaintances may not always understand you, because there is a time to joke, and there is a time to be serious. Do you want to learn how to manage your emotions? Sign up for webinars from our comedy school ComedySchool.
Did you like the test? Feel free to share your results in the comments. Remember that a good sense of humor can be developed, and I am ready to help you with this!
I recommend reading the article: How to develop a sense of humor
Advice to parents: how to develop a sense of humor in a child
Dear parents, today it is simply necessary to develop a sense of humor in children from a very early age. Statistics show that in the 21st century, the rate of increase in depression in children has increased to 21% per year, and already about 4% of preschool children use antidepressants. Don't want your child to be diagnosed with clinical depression? Teach him to look at the world positively, take many things as a joke and smile more often.
Develop a sense of humor in children and protect them from stress
What will help develop a sense of humor in children?
- Create a relaxed atmosphere in your family by occasionally making fun of each other.
- Read humorous stories to your child if he doesn’t yet know how to read.
- Laugh if your child misbehaves or says something out of place.
- Protect children from evil humor and indecent jokes.
- Teach your child to laugh at his shortcomings and mistakes.
- Send him for training to an online humor school.
Remember that a person with a good sense of humor is more successful in life, so your task is to teach your child an amazing ability to joke and be witty.
Why is it important to develop a sense of humor for a man?
A man without a sense of humor is not a man. Are you offended? If yes, then you have no sense of humor. I recommend developing a good sense of humor for guys and men, as it depends on:
- your attractiveness;
- your life success;
- your mood;
- your position in society;
- your social circle.
Guys, develop your sense of humor
Funny videos, programs and films will help you develop your humorous abilities. Yes, watch KVN, “Spotlight Paris Hilton”, “Make the Comedian Laugh”, don’t forget about my channel on Youtube Comedy School and free webinars. Don't forget to explore your sense of humor: what makes you laugh, what was funny, what situations lift your spirits. This way you will understand the nature of humor and learn to write your own jokes from scratch.
In the meantime, I suggest watching the video: Jokes about people
How to develop a good sense of humor for a girl
How would you characterize yourself: am I cheerful and cheerful or am I sad and depressed? Of course, you want to classify yourself as the first type of girl, so you'll have to learn how to develop a sense of humor. This is a unique ability that helps you easily endure grievances, get rid of complexes, shyness and fear of being the center of attention.
I offer you 5 simple steps that will help you understand what a sense of humor is and whether you have one in just a week or a month:
Step 1 . Keep a mood calendar. If you notice that there are more gray days than colorful ones, start watching funny videos about people and animals or humorous programs.
Step 2 . Learn to laugh at your shortcomings. Write down your shortcomings (you can't see well and wear glasses, you're overweight, you have crooked teeth, etc.). Now think about how you can laugh at these shortcomings.
Step 3 . Laugh more. A person with a good sense of humor is not a comedian who constantly makes people laugh. Your goal is to learn to laugh at life situations and look at everything on the positive side.
Step 4 . Learn a few jokes by heart. For example: I sleep like the dead. They even wanted to circle me with chalk several times.
Step 5. Read books, listen to audiobooks for free. It has been observed that educated people have a better sense of humor, so it is important for you to expand your vocabulary and develop your memory.
Of course, I am ready to help girls and women develop a sense of humor through practical activities. Register for the free webinar and stay up to date with the latest news from Comedy School.
Quotes about a sense of humor
Do you want to develop your speech and learn to speak beautifully and with humor? Then get inspired by quotes from famous people about a sense of humor:
“Humor is her way of overcoming pain. I have already met such people. There is usually some kind of emotional trauma buried in their past, which they mask with humor or sarcasm. It helps them take their mind off things.” Charles Martin
“Imagination is given to man to console him for what he does not have, and a sense of humor to console him for what he does have.” O. Wilde
“...there are things in life that only I laugh at.” Francoise Sagan
“Self-irony and humor are very important for relieving aggression. A person who does not have a sense of humor is dangerous to others.” S. Enikolopov
“Women have become too witty. Nothing hinders love more than a woman’s sense of humor and a man’s lack of it.” O. Wilde
“If you want to make someone laugh at your jokes, tell them they have a sense of humor.” Herbert Procnow
