How to become uninhibited and uninhibited is a question many girls ask, especially against the backdrop of bright friends or colleagues in the team. However, excessive brightness and looseness do not bring anything good. The so-called “star” needs more control; she is unlikely to be forgiven for minor mistakes. Sometimes excessive looseness is just an appearance; often women overact and go too far, which becomes too noticeable for both men and her friends.
In addition, they may be misunderstood and misunderstood. Men are generally reluctant to treat such women. Understand girls, looseness and vulgarity are two different things. No one has canceled internal freedom. After all, it is with her that the liberation that girls need begins.
The main reasons for shyness
In modern society there is a stereotype that liberated young ladies always go to nightclubs, meet all the men in a row and generally behave like ladies of easy virtue. But that's not true. You can be a modest and moderately shy girl and at the same time pleasantly surprise others with self-love.
Glossy magazines and intrusive commercials urge you to give up your complexes, love yourself and become more confident! Compliance with all these principles guarantees success in any field - from matters of the heart to the professional sphere. But in fact, following all these recommendations is quite difficult.
The thing is that girls who behave this way have a psychological barrier. This obstacle is extremely noticeable, as it acts as a kind of block of consciousness. It does not allow you to take any adequate actions in terms of meeting guys/men or making friends.
The degree of modesty also plays an important role. Some girls begin to experience difficulties during dates when there are no topics to talk about. And some representatives of the fair sex even find it difficult to say “hello” to their old friend or smile at the guy they like.
There are many reasons for shyness. Here are the main factors that hinder normal social life:
- lack of confidence in your own appearance: acne, thinning hair, bad teeth, excess weight - all this can hinder self-confidence;
- negative experience of taking initiative in communication (many girls stop communicating when one day they receive a refusal or an opposite reaction from men);
- experienced childhood trauma (toxic parents often instill in their children, especially girls, unhealthy communication habits, as a result they become “downtrodden” and are afraid to talk to strangers);
- belonging to a certain psychological type of personality (people are different, conditionally we can all be divided into certain psychological types - active and passive, positive and negative, it also happens that passive behavior is the norm for a girl, and she just wants peace and quiet).
These are not all the reasons that create obstacles to normal social life, but they are basic.
Self-discipline
Self-discipline is also very important in life. Yoga or any other physical exercise will help develop it. Sport helps us by giving us the opportunity to relax spiritually, it improves our attitude towards ourselves, but only if it is not perceived as another tool to combat shortcomings.
Play sports for yourself and choose what you like. There is no need to run for scales and a measuring tape after every workout. Because looking after your body and wanting only the best for it is one thing, but fanatically torturing yourself for self-improvement is quite another. Grueling workouts have never made anyone happy, and an unhappy person cannot have self-confidence.
How to become more relaxed when communicating with people?
You can communicate with people confidently by following a few simple principles:
- Self-discipline. To develop it, you need to do yoga as often as possible and perform a set of simple physical exercises. After all, sport allows you to relax spiritually and physically. The main thing is to do it in moderation, avoiding grueling workouts. It’s not for nothing that they say that “a healthy mind in a healthy body.”
- Dancing. Dance classes will help you get rid of major tensions and gain a lot of freedom. This approach will bring maximum pleasure to life, as will lessons in theater and public speaking, which will allow you to correctly select intonation and timbre for a specific situation.
- Correct thoughts. You don't have to worry about what people think of you or what you look like. The main thing is to tune in to receive positive emotions from the communication process. You just need to smile more often and regularly repeat the name of your interlocutor.
- Useful experiments. You need to “sort out” different behavior patterns with different people and companies. You should make new acquaintances for the sake of interest and see what comes of them. This will make you understand that each person is unique and interesting in their own way.
- Facial expressions and gestures. You need to try to use mirror behavior towards your interlocutor. You can repeat his gestures, facial actions, and some words. This will help you be on the same page with him and feel comfortable.
- Soulful communication with yourself. To do this, you need to sit near the mirror and communicate with your own soul. Maintaining a positive attitude and monitoring changes in feelings is important.
- Ability to be an interesting conversationalist. It is not necessary to listen and remain silent all the time. You can ask leading questions, make clarifications, and talk about yourself. You can even set the tone and topic for the conversation, the main thing is that it is interesting to everyone. Expanding your horizons and improving your vocabulary will help with this.
- Observing other people. This gesture will make you understand that no one is perfect. Other people can also be modest, vulnerable, have complexes and face difficulties.
- Finding flaws in yourself. You need to find those moments that you would like to correct in yourself. Think about what you are not happy with and what you would like to change. The main thing is not to criticize yourself “from head to toe,” but to find adequate shortcomings and ways to eliminate them.
- Understanding your essence. There is no need to try to play other people's roles and put on masks. It is important not to be ashamed to be your true self, which will allow you to become an interesting person and gain attention in conversations with other people, attracting them like a magnet.
Important! You don’t need to immediately strive from being a loner to become the life of the party. You need to act gradually: first communicate with new interlocutors one-on-one, then involve new people in the dialogue. It is advisable that these are familiar people who also know how to maintain communication.
Motivation: the benefits of sociable and relaxed people
Having discovered your lack of communication skills, it is important to correctly identify motivating factors. Project a future in which you peacefully communicate with a stranger on abstract topics. Imagine how life will change if you achieve the desired result. Cherished goals are unrealized dreams, so it is difficult to generalize and systematize such thoughts. However, common motivation options traditionally include the following aspects:
- Gaining self-confidence, accompanied by respect from society. A person who knows how to structure a conversation constructively and control the course of his own thoughts is highly valued by generally accepted social standards.
- Career growth directly related to a person’s ability to find contact and common themes of contact with an unfamiliar interlocutor. This phenomenon extends to intimate conversations with your immediate superior and to the development of skills in persuading a potential client. People who are distinguished by their eloquence occupy predominantly high-ranking and status positions, achieving success in life.
- Attention from the opposite sex, due to your talents for maintaining a conversation and interestingly expressing your own thoughts. It is pleasant to spend time with an educated and relaxed interlocutor, because the words he speaks inspire confidence.
- The ability to “painlessly” get out of a conflict situation while maintaining self-esteem. Wise people who know how to persuade and inspire confidence do not bring a quarrel to a peak. Changing the course of events by redirecting the thoughts of your interlocutor in the right direction is a talent that most people dream of.
- The emergence of new acquaintances, which over time can rightfully be called useful. People tend to help each other out in unpleasant and emergency situations, selflessly solving the problems of a loved one. If your number is on speed dial in the phone book of an influential person in society, then finding a way out of the stalemate series of events will be much easier.
By correctly defining self-goals, you can stock up on a positive attitude, which is important in solving personal problems. Improving your genetic skills is a way to become a better person, so think of this challenge as a workout, not a cure for an illness. Don't forget that communication skills can be developed by practicing communicating with strangers and maintaining a conversation on topics that are unfamiliar to you.
When projecting the future, remember the materiality of thoughts - imagine a positive outcome of events, preventing the appearance of negative emotions in your mind. Looseness and sociability cannot coexist with a pessimistic mood
How to become more relaxed when communicating with men?
There are ladies who communicate with members of the opposite sex easily and freely. They know how to interest and delight with their rich inner world. But not everyone has such abilities. On the contrary, most women do not have them.
The most important secret to easy communication with men is no modesty. Of course, some part of it should be present, but only the smallest. There is no need to behave excessively timidly; men are not attracted to, but, on the contrary, repelled by such women. The reason is simple: after communicating with such a young lady, any normal man will think that she is not interested in him and will stop trying to communicate, finding a more interested interlocutor.
Some girls withdraw into themselves due to complexes. If a young lady grew up in a family where there were only women, and made friends exclusively with girls, there is a high probability that as an adult she will not be able to fully contact men. In this case, there is a way out: you just need to stop looking at the guy as a potential partner, communicating with him as a friend. In this case, looseness will be beneficial and, perhaps, simple friendship will develop into sincere love.
Another reason for constrained behavior may be that the girl is in an unfamiliar environment. Therefore, you need to go on a date to places where you can relax and not worry that something will go wrong.
Some representatives of the fair sex are convinced that the best way to combat excessive modesty is to drink alcohol. If you drink alcohol at every meeting, the young man may get the impression that the lady has bad habits. No self-respecting man would consider such a woman for a long-term serious relationship.
Another common reason for excessive constraint is the lack of any information about the guy’s character. A lady, not knowing who she is dealing with, can become tense, confused and behave as if she had completely “swallowed her tongue.” To avoid such awkward situations, it is worth finding out as much information as possible about the potential gentleman, which will allow you to build a full-fledged dialogue.
Tip #7: Brainstorm_7
You can try to make a list of all your worries and worries - what causes embarrassment and uncertainty? Having listed all the factors, you need to think about how they can be eliminated.
To avoid feeling helpless, you should also make a list of all your positive qualities that inspire confidence. They should serve as a kind of reminder.
How to become more relaxed in bed?
To do this, you should adhere to the following rules:
- Rule #1 is to love your own body. To do this as quickly as possible, you should look at it in the mirror as often as possible. Even if your legs don’t grow from your ears, and there are no model parameters, you need to love and accept yourself in your existing image. After all, men often look not at a lady’s appearance, but at her attitude towards herself.
- Rule #2 – self-care. It is important to buy beautiful sexy lingerie that hides imperfections and highlights positive aspects. A pleasant smell will be a good addition to the image. Therefore, you should regularly use aromatic lotions, special balms, and perfumes.
- Rule #3 – no excessive effort. You don't have to go out of your way to become relaxed in bed. After all, if there is a loved one nearby, the girl will be able to relax automatically, she will feel free and desired.
- Rule #4 – open conversations. It is important not to be afraid and regularly ask your loved one what he would like. You need to tell him about your own preferences. If there is a spiritual connection between people, such sincere dialogue will make it stronger.
Don't advertise your shyness
You should not concentrate your and other people's attention on the fact that you have problems with communication. This is how you label yourself and subconsciously reinforce the attitude that shyness is your permanent trait.
Even if others notice your embarrassment, pretend that it is an accident, talk about it frivolously, and not as a serious problem. Are you starting to blush? Say that this is a feature of your body, and not a reaction to stress. And never describe yourself to strangers as a shy person. Let them form their own opinion and notice your other, more interesting features.
Do you know other ways to stop being shy? Tell us about them in the comments.
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Cautions for all occasions
I’ll immediately warn you by telling you what often happens in the initial stages of any activity, and especially those that entail changes in life and require certain efforts.
You begin to work on yourself, at first with enthusiasm and great diligence. After a few days of such work (5-7 depending on the inner will), the mind begins to throw up provocations in the form of such thoughts: “Today there is absolutely no time, but tomorrow...”, “Yes, maybe, come on,” “Nothing in one day.” happens, you can skip it,” etc. Attention is scattered, concentration drops, the routine drags on - and the firm decision to liberate the body and open its zones, releasing plasticity and grace (and therefore change your life), fades into oblivion. And a failed attempt leaves only regrets and inner uncertainty from an unfulfilled promise given to oneself. How many of these promises do we accumulate in our lives? Therefore, it is important to see the process of changing yourself as a single cycle. Understand that each stage is a natural consequence of the previous one and a step towards your dream.
And there are seven .
1. Formation of intention - you have a desire, intention, impulse to change your life, and you decide to begin this process by changing your body and its movements.
2. The beginning of the process is coming to a master or searching for exercises on your own.
3. The first results are enthusiasm, zeal, and a surge of energy.
4. The emergence of internal resistance - provocations of the mind, or “One hundred reasons to justify the fact that today I will not do anything.” (And this is good news, since you are approaching the border of your current reality, which means changes. And any change requires strength and energy, which means tension increases).
5. Overcoming resistance - you make an effort on yourself and, without slowing down, continue your classes.
6. Transition to a new level - increased skill, visible changes in the body, internal state and surrounding life.
7. Consolidation at a new level - mastery, transition to the next stage of mastery and change. A new round, new tasks and a new path to new heights.
Explain to your child that mistakes are normal.
Children are often embarrassed to do something because they are afraid of making a mistake. The root of the problem is inflated expectations and demands on the part of parents.
“Shy children, as a rule, rate themselves quite highly, but are sure that others are constantly dissatisfied with them,” explains Inna Alexandrovna. “They constantly expect positive evaluation of their actions from others in order to become more self-confident. Within himself, the child forms an assessment of the critical attitude of the adult. This paralyzes the baby’s activity and kills his initiative.
And if in early preschool age a child claims that he will not succeed, by the age of 6 he silently acknowledges his defeat. Stops turning to parents for help and withdraws into himself. Such a child prepares himself for failure in advance. His position in life is “I won’t even try, it won’t work anyway.”
Explain to your child that a mistake is not a failure. This is not a reason to give up and withdraw into yourself and give up what you started. The one who does nothing makes no mistakes. When a child learns not to perceive his mistakes as the end of the world, he will become bolder and more confident in his own abilities. Start small: do not scold or punish your child for accidental mistakes - a cup that is too developed, things that get dirty during a walk.
Fear number six: getting sick
Syphilis, chlamydia and HIV are things you can easily catch through unprotected sex. But can a condom provide 100% protection, or are some diseases immune to latex walls?
What the guys say
Nikita: “I heard that ninjas in Japan lubricated their swords with saliva: like there are so many bacteria in it that they kill no worse than poison. I don’t know how poisonous our saliva is, but I know that some diseases can be contracted by kissing. What then can you catch during sex?”
Photo: pixabay.com
Ilya: “If everything is more or less clear with classic sex, then what about anal sex? What about oral sex? An acquaintance said that blowjobs should also be done with a condom, but immediately all the buzz disappears, sensitivity drops three times. So there’s a dilemma: you seem to want to have fun, but you don’t really want to hook up with some kind of sifak.”
Ways to solve the problem
If you want to enjoy your intimate life, learn to feel yourself and your partner, then you should act immediately. Advice will help you, thanks to which you will relax in bed and stop being shy, you will notice how you begin to enjoy a full act of love.
We create an environment that helps you not be shy in bed
You should prepare for a love event. In order not to be shy with your loved one in bed, you need to create comfort for yourself, which consists of three components:
- Convenience. Prepare a romantic place: fresh linen, a wide bed, a clean room, towels, and protective equipment at hand. You can use various romantic things - candles, aromatherapy.
- Privacy. To create the appropriate atmosphere, nothing should disturb you: neither parents nor children sleeping outside the door. To be calm and give yourself 100% to the caresses, you need to be sure that you are alone.
- Mood. To have relaxed sex, you should feel your partner and be in a good mood. If you are haunted by bad thoughts or events of the past day, then you cannot start sex in this mood.
READ How to tell if a man hasn't had sex for a long time
Admit that he likes you
Psychologists say that a man will communicate with a woman only when she is sexually attracted to him. When he finds himself in your bed, understand that he is not just attracted to you, but sexually attracted to you.
A man perceives a woman as a whole, along with all her shortcomings and body features. If he started a relationship with you, then he definitely examined the size of your breasts and waist size, he is satisfied with everything. When there is a naked girl in front of a man who is inclined to be intimate with him, he does not pay attention to the little things.
Looseness in bed and appearance
If you want to know how to not be shy with a man in bed, then you should take action. A woman needs to accept herself and love every piece of her body. It is necessary to understand every day that you are unique and unique.
Before the upcoming act of love, you need to prepare for it. This applies to appearance: tidy up your body, get a manicure, pedicure, put on beautiful underwear, take time to do your hair and makeup. When a woman knows that everything is perfect for her, she can get rid of tension.
Underwear
To make a girl feel confident, be sure to pay due attention to her underwear. Choose a suitable set that will highlight your strengths and hide your weaknesses. You will be able to increase your sexuality. This outfit will help a woman to relax and a man to experience maximum desire for her. It has been proven that a woman in beautiful lingerie is much more of a turn-on than just being naked.
If a man wants to liberate his girlfriend and make her not feel shy, he should give her several sets of underwear and negligees. When she puts them on, he will admire her beauty.
Cosmetics
Even if your boyfriend claims that he loves you without makeup, believe me, makeup won't hurt. But avoid flashy evening makeup with bright scarlet lips. It will be unpleasant for your partner if your lipstick remains on his face. But when it's a nice scent that makes your lips moist and delicious, he'll happily lick them. Makeup can help a girl when she is shy in bed, emphasize a woman’s passionate gaze, and make her face more sophisticated and attractive. To look charming, pay attention to beautiful makeup.
Perfume
Smells attract people on a subconscious level even before they are in the same bed. If you learn to control aromas, you can liberate yourself. It is recommended to use a small amount of perfume with a light, unobtrusive scent. Under no circumstances should you douse yourself with perfume, because if it remains on your body, then the taste of your skin will be unpleasant. When a woman knows that she smells good, it will help her become more relaxed during sex and give a man the opportunity to smell her body.
READ How to not cum for a long time: physiology, treatment and life hacks
Trust and sex
If you understand that you cannot feel free in bed with a regular partner, then first you need to become more relaxed in communication and actions. You need to sincerely trust the person you are planning sex with. You can directly talk about your feelings, desires, talk with your partner about sex, his interests and your desires. There is nothing shameful in this, it is normal for adults.
Sex is an integral part of life, which you can discuss, like any other things, such conversations will bring you closer.
Liberation through sports
When a girl has flaws, it seems to her that she is not fit and slim enough, then she needs to take care of herself and fight her complexes with the help of sports training. It is important for a woman to be flexible and graceful, so it will be useful for her to take up aerobics, fitness, swimming or oriental dancing. She will improve her emotional state, become relaxed with her partner in bed and will not be shy.
To be honest
When the famous showman Larry King came on the first radio broadcast in his life, he was so worried that he could not speak. During the first three minutes of the broadcast, radio amateurs listened to silence, after which Larry blurted out:
“Hello, I'm Larry King. This is my first broadcast on the radio, I rehearsed the text all night and all morning, now my throat hurts terribly, and I’m worried so much that for three minutes I couldn’t bring myself to speak.”
After he honestly told the listeners about his situation, he felt better, and until the end of the broadcast he no longer felt embarrassed.
The Foundation of Happiness
Inner freedom is a state in which a person, under any circumstances, can choose what he likes. Moreover, this state depends only on fears and passions. All your fears are worth conquering.
If you get too hung up on your own passions, you may also not achieve inner freedom. For example, a person who loves money. Now we are not talking about the rich, but about the one who is addicted to banknotes. A person suffers not only from a lack of money, but also from the possibility of losing it, thereby limiting himself.
Inner freedom will increase as we begin to get rid of fears and passions.
