How to stop being shy and become confident: 7 tips from a psychologist + behavior in 4 specific situations

Ask yourself these questions. Find out for yourself:
  • Why are you shy?
  • What is the reason that you cannot let go and fully express yourself now?

The answer is obvious:

  1. You care about what others think of you.
  2. Other people's opinions force you to adapt to society.
  3. The opinions of others limit and constrain you; because of it, you do not know how to become relaxed in communication and be yourself.

Answer these questions to overcome shyness

Understand that if you care about other people's opinions, you will be the one who always reacts to others and depends on others.

Reality will be dictated to you, and you will adapt to people.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you need this kind of life?
  • Do you want to forever be the one who is afraid of other people's opinions and limits himself in everything?
  • What will this give you if you continue to be shy?
  • Will this help you in any way?
  • What do I need to do to be free from everything limiting?

If, for example, you are a guy and don’t know how to stop being shy about girls, then take a pencil and paper and answer these questions to yourself in writing. Do the analysis.

How to overcome shyness and self-doubt - find the reasons

The root of any psychological problem lies in the unconscious. Therefore, to answer the question of how to stop being shy, you need to understand the causes of shyness. The desire to avoid contact with people, shyness, and isolation can arise in people with visual, anal and sound vectors in the event of a traumatic experience or non-realization of innate properties.

Trauma common to all is the lack of a sense of security and safety in childhood. This basic feeling should be given by parents; for this it is important to recognize and take into account the desires of the child, to develop his innate abilities, and not to break them. There must be spiritual contact with mom. The child should feel loved and supported by the family.

If all this is missing, moreover, if the child is criticized and humiliated, he can withdraw into himself, accumulate fears and resentments, which in the future will lead to the inability to create connections with people. But each vector will have its own negative experience, its own fears.

Fears in visual vector

If a visual child did not develop feelings, did not read books that encourage compassion, were not taught to sympathize with all living things, even simply did not communicate with him, did not pay enough attention, all his enormous emotional potential will remain in a state of fear - a primary, innate emotion. What he will be afraid of depends on the circumstances that happened in his life. And the rich imagination of the viewer will increase the scale of failure.

  • If such a child was bullied at school or his first love was ridiculed, he will be afraid of repeating the bitter experience - he will grow up to be a social phobe.
  • If he had anxious parents who intimidated him, annoyed him with their overprotectiveness, guided by the principle “stay at home, otherwise nothing will happen,” he will be dependent, dependent and will be afraid to live among people.

The rich sensory potential of a visual person requires constant implementation. If this does not happen, then all attention is concentrated on himself, on how he looks, how he feels. Fears intensify.

For example, a woman with a visual vector does not work for a long time and sits at home. And the longer she hesitates to go to work, the scarier it becomes to be among people. Up to panic attacks and fear of going outside.

Closedness in the sound vector

Often one of the causes of social phobia is the presence of a sound vector in an unrealized state. A sound engineer loves solitude, since his purpose is to think, create ideas, write books, music, and computer programs. Explore the world, make scientific discoveries and look for meaning in everything. It's good when he does it. Then he wants to go out into the world to gain inspiration and ideas from people.

When he does not understand what his role is, what the meaning of his life is, what remains is the pure desire to be alone. People are in the way. Their way of life causes misunderstanding, irritation and even hatred - the eternal bustle in search of material satisfaction. And the sound artist is so far from all this. I want to hide from this endless flickering behind closed doors. But the more he does this, the deeper the depression becomes.

Childhood traumas can affect communication with people:

  • constant noise, because the most sensitive organ of a sound child is the ears. Loud noises traumatize him;
  • derogatory in the sense of the word: “idiot”, “fool”, “why did I give birth to you?” Hearing this, the child withdraws, even to the point of completely losing contact with people.

Resentment and self-doubt

For a leisurely, thorough and diligent child with an anal vector, the following experience will be traumatic:

  • there was no adequate praise;
  • his efforts and efforts were devalued by excessive criticism and demands;
  • they constantly interrupted him, did not allow him to finish, to finish the job;
  • manipulated by feelings of guilt - “you don’t love your mother, that’s why you don’t…”.

On this basis, the following bloom wildly:

  • diffidence,
  • dependence on the opinions of others,
  • fear of embarrassment
  • fear of taking the first step and making a mistake,
  • excessive perfectionism,
  • excessive demands on oneself,
  • resentment towards parents, which is then projected onto the whole world.

All this, of course, does not contribute to ease of communication. And a good memory carefully preserves and multiplies all cases of failure and “shame” in front of people.

You limit yourself and attach importance to other people's opinions

Ask yourself:

“Who is the one who is stopping you from becoming a more liberated person?”

The answer is “ You yourself !”

Don't play the role of the little man

  1. You're the one who gave too much weight to someone else's opinion.
  2. It was you who decided to become shy.
  3. Everyone plays roles without realizing that they are roles.
  4. It was you who chose to play the role of a pathetic person.
  5. You yourself want to believe in the importance of someone else’s opinion - this is their power.

These are only your actions and zero actions from life.

What you need to do and realize:

  1. Challenge yourself!
  2. Understand that this is only your life and no one will kick you. Nobody needs your tightness.
  3. Don't expect success from life or permission to liberate yourself.
  4. These are your actions and zero action from life and no response from society.
  5. It’s you who take and take away and don’t wait for something to come to you.

There will always be people who hate you

There will always be those people who hate you and who are angry with you.

There will always be those who don't like you.

There is no point in trying to please them and consider their opinions.

It's not even worth wasting your time on such people.

I would rather do what I do and have fun than sit and discuss behind the back of a person going towards his goal.

Method No. 7: Review your social circle

It happens that when a person finds himself in a new place or in a new company, he becomes open and self-confident. But, returning to its usual habitat, it again hides in its cocoon. This means that the problem is not in you, but in the environment. Or rather, in the people who surround you. If you are constantly criticized, belittled, ridiculed, or told that you won’t succeed, then it’s time to reconsider your social circle. Don't let people who make you feel insecure get too close to you.

Advanced analysis: is what is bothering you real?

Ask yourself questions:

  • What is stopping you from getting rid of shyness and tightness right now?
  • What's holding you back?


  1. It's your insecurity.
  2. Exaggerated fears.
  3. Fear of public opinion.
  4. Thoughts.
  5. Parenting.
  6. Social programming.

It's up to you to choose whether to believe in limitations or not.

You choose: either to believe in what society and your parents instilled in you, or not .

Be beyond the social matrix.

Causes of stiffness

Leg problems grow from negative experiences, most often received in childhood . Rejection by parents, classmates, and teachers rarely leads to the formation of an integral character and a self-sufficient personality. Constant criticism that is poured out on a child almost always leads to the appearance of another squeezed social phobe in society.

An increase in self-confidence received from outside could help the child resist self-consciousness. But instead he receives another bucket of criticism and insults. Children who are not yet capable of strong self-analysis and following psychotherapeutic methods cannot get rid of the problem on their own.

For example, menopause in women is almost always accompanied by stiffness and tightness.

You can acquire tightness even at a very conscious age . Finding himself in a “closed” situation - army, prison, etc. - without developing as a strong personality, a person, in circumstances of continuous negativity, loses himself and his inner freedom. Fortunately, there are ways to positively influence the situation.

You create your own world

The whole world is your movie, your world, your reality. Society and its opinions are outside your reality.

You choose your environment, not the other way around.

Give up thoughts about the future and expectations that someone will help you or tell you how to open up in communication with people and solve your problems.

Who will help you is you ! You are the generator of your own actions .

All you can lose is your own lack of freedom

What happens if you:

  • will you act in a way that is not accepted by society?
  • Will you seem like a fool in the eyes of others?
  • if they point a finger at you?
  • what if they refuse you?

Answer : “ NOTHING will happen !”

And even more: you will lose your old limiting beliefs!

You want it ⇒ you do it ⇒ you get it.

Excessive politeness is bad

Are you wondering how to stop being modest? Evaluate your behavior impartially. Are you a polite person? Aren't you too polite? Excessive politeness is perceived by many as insecurity. If you want to get something from a person, ask him for it. There is no need to wrinkle the hem of your dress for a long time and mumble something awkward. Such modesty is poorly perceived by people. It’s better to say clearly and to the point what you want. There is no need to disguise your request under a veil of politeness. Don't be too zealous, otherwise you will form the idea of ​​yourself as a mumbler who can be twirled as you please. Having understood this, the person will not rush to fulfill your request. If you want to get your way, talk to people in a firm voice and look them in the eyes. Don't try to please everyone with whom you start a dialogue. You won't be able to please everyone. So be yourself and pretend less.

You're being bothered by something that doesn't exist, or by yourself

All the limitations that your mind creates - they don’t exist !

Abuse, negativity, disapproval, evil and other rubbish. Everything that prevents you from translating your ideas into reality, focusing on action and becoming relaxed in communication - all this does not exist .

Get out of the herd mentality.

It turns out that what prevents you from stopping being shy and modest is either yourself or something that does not exist.

Don't believe in something that doesn't exist. Believe in yourself.

There are no restrictions.

Method number 3: do what is not expected of you

Doing unexpected things is how to stop being an introverted person. It's something like a rebellion, but in a good way. For example, are you used to dressing in a strict, discreet style? What about appearing in public in a bright and daring outfit? At work or in the company of friends, are you used to keeping silent? How about boldly saying what others are embarrassed to say? Does everyone think you're a boring homebody? What about going on a hike or an extreme tour?

Important awareness: how not to depend on other people's opinions

This is the key! This is the most important insight where people fail.

Don't be fueled by good reactions! Absolutely! DO NOT let the praise get to you! Don’t let anything external dictate and paint your personality, even if it’s good words of praise about you. You should not receive anything from the outside to confirm your confidence! Simply put: you don’t need people to validate your worth!

This is where dependence on other people's bad reactions to you comes from.

dependence on other people's opinions comes from

Reaction to praise, someone else's approval = Reaction to someone else's curse, condemnation, disapproval

Remember the following realizations and beliefs:

  1. Whether you received a good reaction from other people to you or a bad one – it has nothing to do with you!
  2. You are always self-sufficient, fulfilled and good without external stimulation.
  3. Approve yourself and don't need other people's approval.

Remember and learn! And no one can touch you anymore!

Express yourself fully, don't be afraid to be yourself

When there is an understanding that what hinders you and limits you does not exist, then all that remains is to simply overcome all these little things .

  • Express yourself fully and do not hold back any words or emotions.
  • If you want to laugh, laugh.
  • If you want to dance, dance. If you want to leave, leave.
  • Don't filter the words, let them flow.
  • Don't be afraid to be louder with your words, express yourself fully, and be a visible person.

All this will give you a good feeling and help you overcome shyness.

The more you do this, the more your self-expression and your own presentation in communication becomes stronger.

All you will lose if you become free is your own lack of freedom .

There are no mistakes: no matter what happens, everything leads you to success

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because there are none.

You can't make a mistake. Change your perception!

It is illusory to think that a mistake is when they point fingers at you or discuss you. It's not a mistake.

The real mistake is when you are afraid to be yourself and don’t allow yourself to say what you want because you attach importance to other people’s opinions. This is a lie .

Decide on a goal

Any action becomes much more effective when it is purposeful. It is clear that constant embarrassment interferes with your life, but you need to explain to yourself exactly how it interferes with you. It is possible that the formulated goal will become an impetus for overcoming the old problem.

Even though I perform, write, and host a radio show, I am an introvert at heart. But as the head of the company, I had to talk about our products and services. It required me to come out of my shell and deliver a message to the world. I overcame my shyness by realizing that only I could ensure that my message was delivered correctly. After realizing this fact, I took steps to make public speaking and meeting new people easier for myself.

Eric Holtzclaw

Do what you're scared of

Always do what you're scared of ! The first four attempts will be awkward, but by the fifth you will get used to it. By the tenth you will forget.

Otherwise, if you keep everything to yourself and remain shy, you close yourself off from communication. You will be reserved and not open to people.

When do people usually start to change?

  • You will realize how to get rid of shyness and shyness exactly when you understand that there is no point in postponing and the time has come to change.
  • When this is the very thing for you that needs to be done first.
  • You will get rid of everything that bothers you when it becomes the most important thing in life for you, and you will no longer be able to remain idle and procrastinate.
  • You will understand that you need to stop being shy and blushing over nonsense right now and not a moment later.

How to loosen up and stop being shy: tips for special cases

There are many situations when people feel embarrassed. They can be combined into several groups. Right now we’ll figure out how to overcome embarrassment and uncertainty in specific life situations!

Fear of public speaking in front of people

Many people are afraid of public speaking, I am one of them! This is a situation where you are standing in front of an audience of people looking you up and down, listening to what you say or sing. Here, fear may be associated with poorly learned material, uncertainty about one’s appearance, or the presence of a large number of people. What to do about it?

Advice: Before the performance, learn the part, report, speech well so that you can start confidently. A confident start gives a boost to the entire performance. Think in advance about what you will wear, what kind of makeup and hairstyle you will wear, what shoes and accessories you will wear. Before the performance, tell yourself: “I am irresistible! I will succeed!"

For men, the preparation for speaking in front of an audience is different. They don’t stand in front of a mirror for an hour, but they repeat and structure the material. Therefore, it is important for all speakers to have 10 to 30 minutes of reserve before going on stage.

It won't hurt to go to the toilet and drink water on time. First, you distract your body from stress. Secondly, prevent unexpected physiological manifestations of anxiety - a dry throat and the desire to defecate.

Shyness in front of the opposite sex

There are many reasons for this, the fear of unrequited love manifests itself here, because it is very difficult to stop loving a person who does not love you. There is also a fear of your shortcomings, non-acceptance of your physical forms, embarrassment to expose your body in front of a man, fear of losing the guy you are dating.

Advice: If you have a problem with presenting yourself to the opposite sex (either you throw yourself at everyone’s neck, or you’ve been a nun for…eleven years), decide what is most important to you in a relationship. For example, when all you care about is having successful sex, then why exhaust yourself with shyness? One spark is enough and the goal in bed is achieved.

Shyness in front of the opposite sex goes away by itself with complete acceptance, love and trust of a man and woman. If you are embarrassed by your husband in bed, try to figure out why. Perhaps he reproaches you for not meeting the model parameters? Or do you have some kind of scar, wear glasses or braces that interfere with intimacy?

You can overcome shyness by focusing on others, on your strengths. In bed with your loved one, it is important to forget about your shortcomings and behave confidently. Then this confidence will inspire the person next to you.

Girl is shy of a man in bed

Not accepting your appearance

This is a deep problem, and a personal consultation with a psychologist would be helpful, but I will try to “point my finger in the sky” by giving advice on how to accept yourself. Teenagers often and often feel embarrassed about their appearance among their friends and classmates. And this is normal, hormone imbalance and uneven maturation take their toll.

But if a mature, adult person does not accept his reflection in the mirror, the reason is hidden in some traumatic event. This manifests itself in a reluctance to be photographed, to look in the mirror, denial of compliments, disgust from one’s voice, one’s thinness or fatness.

Advice: Let’s turn to your mission in life; you can read more about it in this article. You live for something and for some reason you have poor eyesight, protruding ears or a large forehead. Your appearance does not depend on you!

BUT if it really annoys you, change what you can change: wear contacts instead of glasses (but I wouldn’t rush, because now glasses are in trend!), straighten your teeth, cut your bangs, go to the gym so as not to be embarrassed about your weight and your breasts that sag after childbirth (special exercises will help return to their former shape!).

I once read a very good prayer, it is now used in wishes, various philosophical memes: “Lord, give me strength to change what I can change, patience to accept what I cannot change, and wisdom to distinguish one from the other. Nice phrase!

Shyness in children - good or bad?

I have met children who are like a tank on the way to the goal, and some are terribly shy. We will not analyze the first case, but in the second, should parents sound the alarm? I have been approached more than once with the problem of how to help a child stop being shy.

Advice: Watch your words, how often do you say “aren’t you ashamed?”, “you should be ashamed here”, “I’m ashamed of you”... With these phrases we set the tone for embarrassment and shyness. Think about it…

Developmental psychology and child-parent relationships are separate topics. But it is easier to overcome shyness in a child under 6 years of age than in an older age. Preschoolers will be helped in this matter by fairy tales like “How the Baby Elephant Stopped Being Shy.” But shy schoolchildren need more praise and support.

Video "Crazy Guy"

In the following video, fearless guy Remy takes to the playing field and sports fields during live broadcasts and skillfully impersonates a team player.

A football team in the French top league wins the cup and Remy manages to sneak onto the field in the form of a club player and lightheartedly celebrate the triumph with the official players. They even take him for one of their own, and no one suspects anything. Remy is not embarrassed or stopped by anything, because he knows everything about how to stop being shy and not worry about other people's opinions.

Very interesting and funny video.

Manipulation of human consciousness: how people are zombified, about social programming and the psychology of managing people.

How to become more self-confident as a girl, informed tips on how to gain self-confidence - we tell you at the link.

Seven ways to competently respond to insults and rudeness, with examples.

What does shyness lead to?

Shyness is not a harmless thing at all. It is difficult for a person to change something in his life, to realize desires and dreams. He falls into depression, apathy, becomes a hermit, withdraws from reality into fantasies and virtual games. Psychosomatic diseases arise. Here are just some of the consequences of this lifestyle.

  • Complexes. A closed person feels different from other “normal” people. Experiencing failures in contact with people, he loses more and more confidence, he seems stupid, ugly, a failure, unworthy to live, a mistake of nature. This is how complexes multiply.
  • Unrealization. A sociophobe is not fulfilled in any area of ​​his life. He does not know how to defend himself in a conflict, express himself, or firmly adhere to his principles, so at work he prefers to sit in a calm, but uninteresting place. Even if he has many talents, uncertainty prevents him from realizing them. A shy person will never dare to confess his love or start a relationship. How to stop being shy and unsure of yourself if you are so afraid to open up and trust people?
  • Behavioral deviations. A closed person may look strange: he feels bad in the company of people, he does not share the general mood, and strives for solitude. When everyone is happy, he may cry or throw a tantrum. He may get tired of excess attention to himself, from being in a crowd, he feels safe and can only relax a little at home, in his room, behind closed doors. He is afraid to go to the housing office, to the bank, or to call a plumber, so he does not adapt well to life in society.
  • Psychosomatics. A state of constant internal tension can lead to real disruptions in the functioning of the body - from panic attacks to irritable bowel syndrome. Psychosomatic manifestations of fears from contact with people are described by students of Yuri Burlan’s training.

Diana: “...there was strong internal tension, fear that they would hurt, she lived in her cocoon and listened carefully before letting anyone close to her. But all this made me unhappy. Strong internal neuroses and fears, internal tension - all this became unbearable. It turns out that fears and anxiety “live in the throat.” And when they go away, it becomes easier to breathe... By the middle of the course, I began to notice that I began to breathe freely. The tensions are gone... The headaches, insomnia, restless and disordered thoughts are gone..."

Read the full text of the result

Oleg: “When I tried to start any action, I began to have a strong urge to go to the toilet, several times a day...”

Read the full text of the result

Evgenia: “Fears and obsessive thoughts took over more and more areas of my life and the time I spent in them. My whole life has focused only on them... My body has already stopped withstanding such long-term stress. Severe seasonal allergies, which in my case were only called seasonal, are good if the break was for a couple of completely winter months. Stomach ulcer. I've lost a lot of weight. My immunity was so undermined that I managed to contract a childhood disease - whooping cough... For a long time, I felt peace and calm inside. Inner strength and self-confidence appeared. Desires appeared because a lot of space in my thoughts was freed up from constant analysis of myself and my life. Well, accordingly, all the psychosomatics associated with this condition went away - allergies, a regular pulse up to 115, the general state of health improved, constant small blisters stopped appearing inside the eyelids after any stress, because the stress began to fade away ... "

Read the full text of the result

Ekaterina: “I also stopped feeling out of breath when talking to people on the phone and in life. Previously, this was such a pressing problem for me that I didn’t even know how to explain it and said that I didn’t feel well with my heart, although... I just felt out of breath when talking to anyone...”

Read the full text of the result

My old memories of other people's opinions

I, too, was once humble because I gave a lot of importance to other people's opinions. I thought it was supposedly important.

There were negative people who talked about me behind my back and said nasty things. And I reacted to this. At that time, I simply did not take care of myself.

Whatever happens, everything is for the better.

When I gave up on everyone, began to engage in self-development, made several thousand acquaintances and read a lot of literature - I was simply out of reach .

I took steps several years ahead in terms of awareness , ahead of everyone who once judged me or gossiped about me.

Those who once tried to hurt me verbally, said nasty things behind my back, are left there in their own shit.

Looking at them now and remembering them is like looking into a toilet where nothing has been flushed yet.

I’m sincerely surprised now that I used to worry about other people’s opinions.

But it made me very strong and I don't regret anything.

These old friends still suffer from their cockroaches and mental problems.

And I solved all these problems several years ago.

I am in a stable good condition, I am happy and moving forward!

Practice the delusion generator

A person who cannot start a conversation does not know how to maintain a conversation on a certain topic. This skill can be developed with a simple exercise. Choose any item you find in the room. For example, a closet. Time yourself and talk to yourself about your closet for five minutes. You can say anything as long as your information does not deviate too far from the topic. You cannot remain silent in such an exercise. The bullshit generator needs to be practiced every day. Today you talk about the closet, tomorrow about the sofa, and the day after tomorrow about politics. The time needs to be increased every day. Once you reach the cherished figure of 30 minutes, you will no longer wonder how to stop being quiet and modest. You can support absolutely any topic, even one unfamiliar to you. If you are mentally afraid when talking with a person, then you will only need to remember your half-hour success, and your confidence will return.

How I left my comfort zone and played with reality

My crazy actions

I did a lot of crazy and crazy things when I gave up on other people's opinions. Just very. I can't remember everything at once.

  • I remember how I went into the supermarket wearing only shorts and sneakers.
  • I experimented a lot in dating girls. It happened that I bit unfamiliar girls on the ass and only then began to get to know each other.
  • I approached the girls sitting on the bench, turned on the song on my phone and shook to the music in front of them. And then he sat down and started chatting.
  • Sometimes I approached the girls in the club like a stripper, danced, looked with passionate eyes, and put their hands on me. They liked it. They were simply delighted!

I love adrenaline. I love coming up with something new.

I'm just playing with the social matrix.

I'm just breaking social programming. It doesn't matter what people around me think, it matters what I think.

All people think about what I think about them!

What is a person’s ego: obvious signs of a large EGO and a person’s sense of self-importance, we will learn how to get rid of arrogance and become more conscious.

How to stop being afraid of a fight and not be afraid of a mess - tips from psychology and esotericism, useful exercises, read the link.

How to dance in a club for a guy, 3 videos of guys who dance wherever they want - you can see here.

Important Reminder

If you do some crazy things in society, always know when to stop.

Always know how to stop on time !

Don’t cross the line of people’s patience, know how to calibrate!

Don't act too unnecessarily inappropriate, otherwise you might end up in trouble. There is no need to scare people.

How to stop being shy, withdrawn and insecure: general advice from a psychologist

But not everything is so bad, you can loosen up and stop being shy on your own, it is important to have the desire to change your behavior and your life. First you need to understand yourself - this is the first advice of all psychologists who can help you in the slightest way.

  1. Determine when exactly you are most shy, blush and feel insecure. It will be even better if you write down your answers. This will help you when analyzing and finding a solution on how to stop being afraid of people and being shy...
  2. Think about what you look like when you're not shy. This is a kind of affirmation that will help you overcome your problem.
  3. Identify the main complaints against yourself and try to replace them in a positive way.
  4. Try to joke and perceive everything that happens in life with humor. Even if this is the most disastrous performance in front of an audience, even if you didn’t impress your boyfriend or girlfriend in something, but this is not a reason to set yourself on fire.

Take some practical advice from a psychologist, which, by the way, is very effective in overcoming shyness.

Realize the importance of self-confidence

It’s easy to let things take their course, but such a decision will not bring you any results. Therefore, it is important for you to live and feel that confidence helps you defend yourself from the attacks of surrounding people and situations. The absence of excessive shyness will help build a shield, “build up fat” to withstand the challenges of fate. I understand that these are just words, well, let’s move on...

Understand, recognize your strengths as well as your weaknesses

Each person is a unique personality, which cannot be duplicated on the entire planet. Everyone has their own set of strengths and weaknesses that shape that unique personality. Write or talk about your strengths and weaknesses before an important meeting or speech.

For example, you are afraid of cameras like hell. But you have a challenge - to perform in the studio in the evening on camera. Knowing your weaknesses, sit so that you look at the audience, the presenter, and not at the lens.

If you go for an interview, try to avoid topics that compromise you, for example, do not focus on your habit of being late for work. In contrast, emphasize that you are decisive, efficient and conscientious. However, you shouldn’t drink anything to stop being shy, so to speak, to maintain good spirits. This is not the way to increase self-esteem and confidence!

Train yourself to evaluate yourself

Self-esteem is a fickle characteristic. In the company of intellectuals, an ordinary builder will feel, to put it mildly, out of place. And in the company of plumbers, a master of philosophy will temporarily feel out of place. The same thing happens with your appearance: among short people you may be embarrassed by your height, and among thin people, excess weight will remind you, drill your brain until the end of communication.

To train self-esteem, you need to remember the basic techniques:

  1. Respect yourself - this is the option when the “doctor orders” to practice emergency situations within the limits of reason, but you can’t rely on a sense of self-importance alone, since this feeling destroys the personality. Here it is important to set your own boundaries: say “no” in time, not do things that offend you, take care of yourself physically and psychologically.
  2. Avoid negative thinking. It really ruins life. It’s like you’re mired in a swamp that you can’t pull yourself out of. Tune in to the positive, find positive aspects in various difficulties, do not argue over trifles, resolve conflicts as quickly as possible.
  3. Notice your victories. Don't let it look like bragging, but highlight your achievements and victories. For example, you are a teenager and you are no longer embarrassed by acne. Or you are no longer attracted to jokes about braces, you are not ashamed of your smile.

And inside yourself, before some important step, constantly remind yourself “I can do it,” “I will succeed,” “I will achieve this.”

After self-assessment, increase confidence

Confidence opens many doors for a person. Such people achieve their goals and feel successful in the business they undertake. The main thing is to believe in your capabilities.

How to increase confidence? Simultaneously simple and complex. First, try to remember bright moments in your life where you achieved something. How did you feel? Remember what surrounded you at that moment. Now fast forward to the present. If you have managed to achieve something before and feel like a winner, then you should try today!

In a healthy body healthy mind

To attack uncertainty on all fronts, you will have to work a little. Start with facial expressions - this is the first traitor and giver of shyness. Therefore, practice a light, confident smile in response to all adversity. Pay attention to your back and head - slouching and a depressed head indicate insecurity.

Start changing yourself: walk straight, strengthen your muscles, do exercises in the morning. This will help you recharge yourself with positivity and health for the whole day.

Learning to communicate spontaneously

It is important here to overcome the fear of condemnation, misunderstanding and evaluation of others. Get distracted more often, count the number of “peek-a-boo” cuckoos, look at the spring sun through the cherry blossoms, walk through puddles and look at your reflection in them. Distraction from your “consuming” thoughts and victory over complexes will help you communicate openly and spontaneously.

I never thought about it, but one of the first fears that insecure people have is the fear of spontaneous communication. Such interlocutors are afraid to say something wrong or not to support the topic. But you have the right to do so! You can make mistakes, express your opinion, talk about a topic that YOU like!

By the way, fear of the public is also based on the fear of spontaneity, discomfort, when something goes wrong. But training in spontaneous communication will help overcome this problem.

Listen to other people

Changing the vector of attention from yourself to other people will help you stop being a shy, withdrawn, insecure person. Listen to what others say, how they behave, what they advise. This will distract your brain from failure and pessimistic thinking.

Attentiveness to the words of other people will encourage you to build a dialogue with them and communicate. During such interaction, you will no longer be so afraid, you will understand that there are a lot of similar ordinary people around you.

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