10 actions: how to stop being “habitually unhappy”

Incredible facts

We all strive for happiness. So we need to remember two things: life is short, and adversity makes life difficult for us.

Our habits greatly influence the kind of life we ​​live.

It has long been known that unhappy people get sick more often and live shorter lives. Unhappy people are more difficult to communicate with and work with.

Sometimes we ourselves don’t notice that we are unhappy, trying to put on a good face when playing poorly.

You shouldn’t deny the obvious, but rather talk to a close friend or ask for help.

Hope for the future

One of the main habits that will prevent you from becoming a happy person is saying phrases like “I will be happy when I find a new job/when my salary increases/when I have a new partner, etc.” It doesn't matter how you finish this sentence. Remember that in this case you are betting everything on circumstances that have little control over you. Therefore, you should not expect something illusory, but you should work on your life now. Focus on what is important to you today and happiness will knock on your door very soon.

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Unhappy person: complaints and worsening problems

A common situation: a friend calls regularly and endlessly complains about her life (her husband doesn’t appreciate her, her children don’t listen, she doesn’t have enough money, etc.). Have you noticed where this is leading her? Of course, this leads to an increase in the negative attitude, because she thinks and talks about the bad, without seeing the positive (the children are healthy, the husband earns money, there is no money today, but there will be tomorrow). And with a constant negative background in someone’s home, problems actually begin to appear - the husband runs away, the children get sick, and in adulthood they run away even faster.

I hope that this does not concern you personally. Remember that troubles are a temporary phenomenon, take them for granted, and not as the fact that circumstances are always unfair to you and fate is initially predetermined and terrible. The life of happy people is available to each of us.

However, complaints do not always have a negative impact on life. Sometimes you need to discuss your real problems and pour out your soul to someone. Learn to determine for yourself when you complain in vain, unpromisingly and become more and more despondent, and when, after a one-time outpouring of your soul, you feel better and find a way to change your situation for the better. Try to talk about your concerns only if there is a therapeutic effect from the conversation.

Spending too much time and effort on acquiring status items

Many people, when they start earning more, tend to convince themselves that it makes them happier. Moreover, most people think that the higher their income, the better they will feel. However, a lot of research shows that this is not entirely true. After all, when you are in pursuit of money and expensive things, when you receive them, you risk being disappointed. After all, you realize that they were absolutely not worth the effort. And the time spent on achieving them could be spent on your hobbies and communication with family and friends, which would make you happier.

Be interested in someone else's personal life

Some people like to discuss other people's successes and failures. At the same time, they do not strive to help others - they are only interested in gossip. This habit definitely does not bring happiness.

“You shouldn't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and explain what you want. Speak directly and clearly to avoid misunderstandings and drama. It will completely change your life,” Don Miguel Ruiz.

The habit of getting involved in someone else's emotional tragedy is gradually becoming a thing of the past. To become happy, you need to throw drama out of your life.

Stay indoors

When you feel unhappy, you probably want to stay at home and not communicate with anyone. However, this behavior can be called a big mistake. Of course, in the lives of each of us there are times when we want to be alone with ourselves and hide from others. However, if this becomes a trend, you will very quickly notice how your mood begins to change for the worse. Therefore, force yourself to leave the house, communicate with people, and you will see how you will feel better very quickly.

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Strive for quick success

Sometimes we want to take a shortcut in order to reach our goal earlier. However, the most significant results come from persistent, hard work.

“If you avoid difficulties, you don’t grow. I have not met a single person who took shortcuts to success." - Jason Valloton.

If you want to be the best at what you do, you have to put in the effort every day. There are no shortcuts to a truly worthwhile goal.

View yourself as a victim

Unhappy people, as a rule, convince themselves that nothing in life depends on them. Therefore, they believe that they are unable to improve the situation. However, this approach only reinforces the feeling of helplessness. But it is always worth remembering that problems and difficulties happen to all people. And you have the power to pull yourself together and resist them, trying to change your life for the better.

Unhappiness Unlucky

Unhappiness as a personality quality - having heavy karma, not knowing happiness, joy, good luck; to be a victim who is constantly pursued by misfortune.

One day a visitor came to the sage and began to complain: “I’m so unhappy.” Everything is so bad for me, it couldn’t get any worse. I lost my job, my wife is sick, my daughter can’t get married, my son doesn’t want to study... Tell me, maybe you know what I should do to become happier? “There is one ancient remedy,” answered the sage. “You need to take a lot of pieces of paper, write on them: “And this will all pass,” and place them in all the rooms.

The puzzled man thanked him and left. A couple of years later, the same person returns and says: “How grateful I am to you, how grateful, there are simply no words!” Everything has changed in my life. I found a great job, my wife recovered, my daughter got married, my son finished his studies and got a job... Everything is just great! Thank you very much! Yes, I just wanted to ask: “Those papers that I laid out in the apartment, can they be put away already?” - Why clean up? — the sage shrugged. - Let them lie down for now.

Unhappiness is the harvest of the consequences of your past actions. Heavy karma has come - open the gate. Retribution has come. Bills need to be paid. Unhappiness is a boomerang for violating the laws of the universe in the past. Misfortune is a harsh lot for lack of piety. If a person has done evil, where will the funds come from in the heavenly account of piety? Red balance. This means no happiness, joy or luck. Piety accumulates in one who lived with dignity and decency, who served people. Happiness and joy come to him.

Unhappiness is the verdict of the Heavenly Court: he lived like a pig, therefore, let him suffer. Maybe he will learn something, realize how to live correctly, and understand that he needs to increase the level of his spirituality. Maybe it will finally dawn on people that happiness is a spiritual category. From the temporary, material, you cannot get the eternal, spiritual. The spiritual path knows no losses.

The real taste of happiness must be sought in spirituality, and not in clothes, trinkets and material wealth. They haven't made anyone happy yet. You cannot take them with you at the hour of death. If you see the main goal of life in accumulating money and material wealth, at the end of your life you will definitely experience disappointment and emptiness.

The nature of the soul is eternity, knowledge and bliss. The soul is charged with happiness. A person becomes unhappy because of himself. The soul has a property: it listens to the feelings, the desired mind, the personality traits manifested in a person. In a word, the soul can be conditioned by someone or something. She is easily suggestible. Under the influence of vices, the energy of the soul is distorted. There is nothing left of happiness and joy. The energy of envy, greed and pride is released. The bottom line is that we have unhappiness cultivated by man himself. If you add heavy karma to this, the picture takes on a sad and sorrowful appearance.

Unhappiness can be the rotten fruit of ignorance. For example, interested parties inspired a person that he should live for the happiness of his great-grandchildren, whom he will never see. And so he humps for the sake of someone else’s, selfish goal. Naturally, no one thinks about his great-grandchildren. The grabbers and burnouts think about their own pockets, and they use such gullible, fanatical gullibles and suckers as they please.

Once a sage was walking along the road, admiring the beauty of the world and enjoying life. Suddenly he noticed an unfortunate man hunched over under an unbearable burden. - Why do you condemn yourself to such suffering? - Asked the sage. “I suffer for the happiness of my children and grandchildren,” the man answered. “My great-grandfather suffered all his life for the happiness of my grandfather, my grandfather suffered for the happiness of my father, my father suffered for my happiness, and I will suffer all my life, only so that my children and grandchildren become happy.”

- Was anyone happy in your family? - asked the sage. - No, but my children and grandchildren will definitely be happy! - answered the unhappy man. “An illiterate person cannot teach you to read, and a mole cannot raise an eagle!” - Said the sage. - First learn to be happy yourself, then you will understand how to make your children and grandchildren happy!

An unhappy person is a carrier of unhappiness. He is riddled with failure. Trouble is on his heels. Unfortunately, it is contagious. Communicating with an unhappy person is dangerous, because part of his karma passes on to those around him. Take, marital relations. Marriage is an exchange of karmas. Having married an unlucky man, a woman shares his unhappy fate with him. And vice versa, by marrying the lover of unhappiness, you receive her karma in “all its glory.”

The oligarch comes to the astrologer and says: “I want to divorce my wife.” We are too different. She is already behind me in intelligence. I'm not interested in being with her. The astrologer carefully studied the fates of the spouses and said: “Do you know why you became an oligarch?” According to the karma of his wife. Your karma is to be a simple clerk. Once you divorce her, all your wealth will disappear. You'll go broke. You will be unhappy.

There lived an old man in the village. He was one of the unluckiest people in the world. The whole village was tired of him: he was always gloomy, always complaining, always in a bad mood, always sour. And the longer he lived, the more bilious he became, the more poisonous his words were. People avoided him: misfortune became contagious. It was somehow insulting not to be unhappy around him. He created a feeling of unhappiness in others too. But one day, when he turned eighty, the incredible happened - no one could believe it. Instantly the rumor spread around everyone: “The old man is happy today, he doesn’t complain, he smiles, even his face has changed.” The whole village gathered. The old man was asked: “What happened to you?” What's the matter?" “Nothing,” answered the old man. “For eighty years I tried to become happy and nothing came of it.” So I decided to do without happiness. That's why I'm happy.

Petr Kovalev Other articles by the author: https://podskazki.info/karta-statej/


Nothing can destroy happiness like pessimism. After all, if you constantly think and expect bad things, then most likely they will happen. Moreover, it is quite difficult to get rid of pessimistic thoughts. However, you must convince yourself that they are illogical. Force yourself to look at the facts and you will realize that things are actually not as bad as you thought.

Submit to addiction

Any substance or behavior can have both positive and negative effects. Our culture tends to believe that there are good addictions, such as work, sports, and falling in love, and bad ones, such as drugs and alcohol. But in reality, any addiction leaves negative consequences. It harms the person, but he still maintains this behavior.

“Any form of addiction is bad, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s alcohol or morphine or idealism,” Carl Jung.

Addiction makes us unhappy. A workaholic who thinks only about success ultimately forgets about his spouse. An athlete who devotes all his energy to maintaining shape may neglect intellectual growth. Therefore, it is so important to observe moderation in everything.

Habit of complaining

If you start complaining all the time, you will end up living with anxiety all the time. Such behavior can confidently be called destructive to the individual. After all, if we constantly convince ourselves that everything is bad, then very soon we will no longer be able to entertain any other thoughts. There's no doubt that talking about what's bothering you can be extremely helpful. However, one should not allow the habit of complaining about anything and everything to develop. After all, this is a direct path to becoming an unhappy person with whom other people do not want to communicate.

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I've been putting off writing this article for two days. I was distracted by everything: reading a book and checking email. But the longer I waited to complete this task, the more unhappy I became.

“Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to put something off. But in truth, in life there are only causes and results. And the reasons don't matter." - Robert Anthony.

Procrastination ultimately makes us unhappy. To overcome it, it helps to create your own schedule and prioritize important tasks. This will help maintain a good mood every day.

To make mountains out of molehills

Bad things happen to every person. The difference is that happy people see them for what they are - temporary difficulties, while unhappy people see them as just more evidence that fate is extremely unkind to them. So, for example, if an ordinary person gets into a small accident on the way to work and gets away with only a slight fright and a slightly dented wing of his iron horse, then he will be glad that nothing more serious happened. A chronically unhappy person will see in this situation only another proof that he has not had a good day, week, month, and maybe his whole life since the very morning.

Think only about yourself

Self-obsessed people are common. They stare at their reflection in store windows, interrupt others, talk only about themselves and post endless selfies on social networks. As a rule, such people are very demanding and selfish.

Every person has an ego. We all want to look good and be interesting to others. But the more we focus on this, the less happy we become. To solve this problem, you need to pay more attention to others.

“As a rule, people who are focused solely on their own feelings and desires are more unhappy than those who strive to help others,” Shannon L. Alder.

Moreover, it is much more interesting to communicate with a person who helps those in need and makes the world a better place than with someone who endlessly talks only about himself.

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