What does attachment to a person mean: concept, features. Strong attachment to a person

Many of us are overly amorous people. We can easily fall in love with another person and have a strong desire to be only with him. This can be called emotional attachment. However, let's think about what emotional attachment actually means? I believe that this is an attachment to people, to beliefs, property or some other things. But still, to a greater extent, this refers to attachment to people and the inability to let them go.

This can also, to some extent, mean a lack of freedom. Because you become emotionally attached to the person and their habits. And build your life around this person. And when you lose it, you begin to suffer from emotional loss and other psychological problems. You may feel sad and sometimes even depressed. This phase of depression usually occurs when men and women break up with each other.

Emotional attachment to things

Typically this involves people's property. We live in an age of materialism in which various things are of great value to people. It can be anything. Starting from various clothes, and ending with cars and apartments. People love to collect various things; they do not throw them away or give them to the poor. And they keep them only because they are emotionally attached to them. They hoard and store things, even if they have no practical use for them.

This kind of emotional attachment can have a negative impact on your life. Because when you need to change something. For example, move to another apartment, change your place of work, update your wardrobe, or break off a relationship with a person, then you cannot do this. Because they are emotionally attached to certain things that unite you. This is especially bad when you need to make drastic changes in your life.

Is it possible to tie a man to bed?

The question often arises: can a man's affection for a woman be caused by bed?

In fact, some women mistakenly believe that great sex is better than any relationship. Everything will be great in bed, which means the relationship will work out.

No. It is not only what happens in bed that is important to a man, especially if he gets any woman without any problems. Then it becomes no longer interesting. Moreover, even the strongest passion sooner or later passes, and then relationships and feelings move in a different direction.

Mostly at this stage, men leave because they understand that a woman cannot offer him anything other than bed. So you can tie a man with sex, but not for long.

Emotional attachment to a loved one

When you become emotionally attached to your partner, you trust him with all your secrets. And also all your problems and your life. You must be very careful in this case. Since too much attachment can lead to jealousy, feelings of anger, anger and serious problems in relationships. After all, many people do not understand the difference between emotional attachment and love. Attachment can be to anything, to a person or to any material thing. Attachment can be both emotional and physical. However, love is a much stronger and more meaningful connection. It's not just affection for someone. This is a feeling that arises from the depths of our soul. And if attachment can be overcome at some point. That is, a person cannot get rid of love at will.

Love, on the other hand, requires devotion, expression of feelings and emotions. Although, love and affection in many cases go hand in hand. There are still key differences between them. You must acknowledge and understand these differences in order to maintain healthy relationships in your life. If we are talking about love, then it is a strong feeling that you feel for another person. People really need love, and without love our lives are not complete. But emotional attachment is still not a positive factor in the relationship between a man and a woman.

What is attachment

The mechanism of attachment development initially determines human survival, since without the help of adults, a human baby is not capable of survival. To maintain these relationships and provide oneself with appropriate living conditions, an attachment is formed to parental figures who ensure physical survival, emotional development, and knowledge of this world. Further, becoming more and more immersed in society, attachments are formed to teachers (if he attends a kindergarten), and then to other adults, then children. Forming such attachments in the closest environment can be safe when there is an emotional connection, the parent listens to the needs of the child, and an environment is created that promotes confidence and adaptability in personality formation).

But there are not so pleasant development options, one of which is avoidant, and occurs if there is emotional neglect on the part of the parent to the needs of the child, and the behavior and availability of the parent turns out to be unpredictable, then the child grows up annoying, focused on external assessment and devalues close relationships. The most destructive form of primary attachment is disorganizing, when the child is constantly suppressed or intimidated, which leads to aggressiveness or inaction, and great difficulties in establishing contacts.

It was revealed that people who had difficulties in forming attachment are no longer capable of establishing open relationships, they do not form a heartfelt attachment, which indicates violations of social adaptation and can lead to antisocial behavior.

A feeling of attachment accompanies every person, is expressed towards places, objects, food and people, a certain course of events and specific relationships - everything that a person gets used to and that brings him joy can be called affection, but it is different from love and need. It is possible to live without attachments, but with them it is more comfortable, more joyful, and not so scary (depending on what the attachment is to and on the basis of what emotions it was formed, such sensations complement), but it is either impossible to live without needs at all, or it is difficult and has an impact on health and general tone.

Attachment to people can be in all types of relationships - love, friendship, parenthood, and in any of the options, the basis is the desire for intimacy with the object of one’s sympathy. Some of these attachments have a fairly strong influence on the further formation of personality. Thus, depending on how the attachment with the mother is formed, relationships with the entire society will be formed, basic trust will be present or absent, and certain patterns of behavior will be established. The way the first heartfelt attachment is formed influences all further perceptions of intersexual relationships, scenarios played out by a person, and the ability to open up and trust. If traumatization occurs at these two levels, then the consequences are reflected on the entire personality, and it often becomes possible only with the help of a psychotherapist to avoid destructive influence on the further course of life not only of the person himself, but of the people he meets.

A strong attachment to a person that acquires pathological characteristics is called dependence and usually occurs when there are already existing disturbances in the formation of attachments, or in the presence of facts of emotional or physical abuse.

A healthy attachment is characterized by flexibility, the absence of any benefit, and the absence of painful and negative feelings in the absence of an attachment figure. Those. a person is able to calmly experience separation, endure the unknown location and occupation of the person to whom he is attached, and the option of ending this connection causes sadness, but not a critical level of fear, pain and a feeling of the meaninglessness of life.

With a healthy attachment, there is a flexible personality adaptation that allows both participants in communication to breathe freely, giving resources to rely on and notice other areas of their life. With a painful addiction, such flexibility is lost, and the world narrows down to one person, the variability of behavior disappears, it becomes extremely important to constantly be near or control the object of sympathy, while other areas of life, including both partners, suffer significantly. An important marker of a painful relationship is a feeling of pain, fear and a manic desire to prevent separation by any means, even if the relationship does not bring happiness, even if the partner wants to leave.

Attachment does not arise overnight; it takes time to form, therefore, the more you communicate with a person, and the more emotional interaction and events significant for mental life arise in this communication, the more likely attachment is to arise. A super-strong attachment is characterized by intense passions, which often makes it similar to love, but the differences are that painful attachment fetters, while love liberates. It is in order not to lose their freedom that many try to avoid attachments and close relationships, thereby ending up in a counter-dependent position, where there is also no freedom, since there is only one choice - not to become attached.

How to be a happy person with emotional dependence?

You have already realized that we easily become attached to most things around us, including people. And this can negatively affect our lives. Because we do not feel happiness and pleasure. When we miss those people or things to which we have an emotional attachment. Therefore, to be a happy person, you must learn not to get attached to people and let them go easily. There is no need to overly exaggerate the importance of a person in your life. And when such a moment comes, you must calmly let it go. Otherwise you will be deprived of freedom and happiness. You need to live in the present and focus on it. And make the most of your life in the moment.

Addiction Recognition

Attachment is pathological in nature when a person cannot imagine life without a lover and tries to constantly make contact with the person, even if he is busy with other things. In the absence of a loved one, the dependent partner feels devastated, and with prolonged separation, he becomes depressed.

Do not confuse the concepts of “love” and “dependence”:

When truly loving, a person values his partner’s personal space and tries to please him even to the detriment of his own interests.
The addict acts solely to satisfy his own needs; he is not interested in the feelings of his partner.

There is also a difference in the emotional perception of relationships. When you fall in love, you feel freedom, joy of being together, vigor and strength. People live their own lives, support each other, but do not lose their identity.

With addiction, a person experiences jealousy, dissatisfaction and other negative emotions. He strives to make his partner his property, to tie him down. The desire to possess has little to do with true love.

READ How to understand that a guy has stopped loving you: signs of behavior

How to get rid of emotional attachment?

Very often, emotional attachment manifests itself in people who lacked love in childhood. Therefore, in adulthood, when someone shows sympathy and positive feelings towards them. Then they begin to experience psychological dependence on them. One of the best solutions for dealing with emotional attachment is the help of a psychologist. But, if you don’t want to ask for help, you can try it yourself.

First, you need to determine what or who you feel attracted to. Then you will need to learn to enjoy life without using these things or people. Stop constantly thinking about the person you are addicted to. Little by little, start moving away from him. Start spending more time on yourself, your hobbies and passions. Communicate more with other people and expand your circle of acquaintances. Don't focus on just one person. And remember that your life and your mental health depend only on you. Therefore, you should pay more attention to yourself. You need to stop being a materialist. Find joy in life without involving other people in it.

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Does a man become attached to a woman?

Does a man become attached to a woman?
Psychologists have found that literally 10-20 seconds are enough for a woman to understand whether she will have intimacy with a man or not. Men need more time, but they never give up on carefree sex. So it’s better to postpone intimacy for now, so that the man doesn’t “run away.”

A man's affection for a woman is not developed instantly. This takes time. Yes, he can get attached, but only if he feels comfortable and good next to the woman. Accordingly, it must create all the conditions for this.

It’s much easier to attract a man, but if he doesn’t have feelings, then nothing will happen. It is important to note that over time, love subsides, but affection and respect remain. So choose reliable men with whom mutual understanding will brew in your home.

Some useful tips

Sometimes it happens that there is no desire to get rid of addiction, to let go of the object of attachment. But it is worth recognizing that nothing happens in life just like that. If a person has a problem, then it is worth considering it as a springboard to development and personal growth. When addiction occurs, a person involuntarily begins to ask himself questions and seeks answers to them.

When you don’t want to get rid of attachment, you are left with a choice:

Awareness of the problem and its subsequent solution.
Continued suffering, belief in a “future” with the object of dependence.

It’s worth saying right away that it will not be possible to return the relationship with the dependency object. There is some kind of energy barrier. A situation does not just arise in a person’s life; he develops, changes, grows. Attempts to return the relationship are resistance to the natural course of things.

Often the addict lives in an illusory world where fantasies try to take the place of reality. The brain paints pictures of a “happy life” with the object of affection, but in fact the relationship has long outlived its usefulness. You need to discard addiction, realize that it is nothing more than a desire to fill an emotional spiritual hole. By filling it with something new, you will be able to get rid of the negative influence of painful attachment.

Dealing with strong emotional attachment is very difficult because it requires you to understand yourself. But awareness of the fact that such a feeling destroys personality, makes a person weak and weak-willed, should push him on the path of self-improvement. You need to live in the present, then problems will disappear on their own.

What kind of women do men usually get attracted to?

What kind of women do men love?
Some people are interested in how a man’s attachment to a woman is formed in what way? After all, we all want to please our man, and even so that he falls in love.

In this case, it is important to understand that a man should be interested in a woman, she should not be “empty”. The second point that is important to consider is that a man must be able to express himself and have personal space. You shouldn’t tie him on a short leash and become a strong woman. Such relationships sooner or later fall apart.

How to understand that a man is attached to a woman: signs

How can you tell if a man is attached?
It is very easy to understand from girls when they are attached to a man. But the latter, on the contrary, do not like to show off their feelings. How can you tell if a man is attached to a woman?

There are several signs that allow you to understand that a man cares about a woman:

He constantly calls and writes

Men are always focused on the things that are important to them. If you need a woman, then there will always be time for her. So the man will always be in touch and, if possible, call and communicate.

He tries hard for you

He will do any thing, even the most difficult ones, to make the woman happy. If you see that what he did cost him effort, then he definitely has strong feelings.

He looks at you with adoration

Do you know that look when a person looks at something he really wants and then gets it? This is also how a man looks at the woman he loves. He admires her. This look is very difficult to fake.

He opens up to you

Men find it difficult to open up to others. They usually keep everything to themselves. So, if he is open to you, it means that you mean a lot to him.

He wants to get closer

In this case, it means that he will try to spend a lot of time together in order to get to know him better.

He introduces his loved ones

This shows him that you are now an important part of his life. When a man is not serious towards a girl, he tries to delay the moment of meeting people close to him as far as possible.

He's not afraid of problems

As soon as he “smells something fried,” he doesn’t run away. On the contrary, he tries to be there and help with everything.

How to avoid despair when you find yourself in a difficult situation

Watch your attitude towards the world and do not fall into the trap of thinking: “Without this or that, I will not have any happiness.” If you want to sell a computer, are waiting for a phone call, hoping for a promotion, trying to score a goal, looking for a husband, you need to relax and stop being nervous! First, you need to work for the desired result to the maximum, and then, in case of failure, tell yourself: “This is absolutely not necessary for me to be happy.” Then throw this problem out of your head and move on with life. It is at this moment that, most often, the desired result comes.