Adviсe
- Don't think about the consequences
- "Delayed life syndrome"
- Find happiness today
The long-term perspective is what teenagers and people under 20-25 years old make in their plans: then I will learn English, then I will pass my driving license, I still have plenty of time to realize my own ambitions and build a professional career, then I will sit on diet, then I’ll get married, then have a baby, etc. However, most people prefer not to put their own lives on hold and try to get the most out of each passing day.
Life planning is a philosophical question and not as simple as it might seem at first glance. The thing seems fair and necessary, but, as they say, man proposes, but God disposes: tomorrow, week, month may not be met in the most positive quality, or may not come at all. How to learn to live for today? Simple reasoning and recommendations will help you enjoy every day you live on earth.
A person who lives today with the thought of tomorrow is confident in himself and his future, he is calm and positively emotional, he is attractive to other people with his optimism and energy, and is successful in his career and personal life.
Don't think about the consequences
The slogan “Live for today!” can be viewed in two ways, and one of the positions from the point of view of benefit for a person will be negative-negative. Some human subjects put into it the meaning of receiving pleasure here and now without thinking about the consequences that today's actions may cause.
You don't have to look far for examples:
empty pastime: watching television every night, noisy parties, computer games are not beneficial for the body, but allow you to “kill time”; Why play sports if everything is fine for now? The key word here is “yet.” The day will come when restoring flabby muscles and the appearance of a belly will require more than one gym membership, but half-hour daily classes will help keep the body in good shape for years; unhealthy diets and fast food create health problems for many years, but all you need to do is take care of your own body every day by choosing the right food and drinks for it; senseless spending, unwillingness to save and plan money? Indeed, why deny yourself the two-hundredth blouse and the fifth professional eyeshadow palette and think about a rainy day, when exactly this amount would be useful for something useful? And if you think about it, planning expenses and reasonable savings will allow you to avoid living from paycheck to paycheck, go on a long-awaited vacation, and purchase a valuable, useful and long-desired item.
Modern society is full of temptations on which you can really waste your salary, energy, time and health. But the desire to live for today does not mean an unreasonable waste of life: it is assumed that a person fills his everyday existence with things useful for himself and society, pays attention to family and friends, engages in self-education, etc. A reasonable person tries to assess the impact that spending time without talent will have on his life, health, and the attitude of other people.
Life can change in an instant, so never put anything off
We are not talking about washing, ironing or cleaning, but about more essential things. For example, about a new course of study for a career change, a much-desired trip to your dream country, or reconnecting with an old friend. We really cannot predict what lies ahead, and we mistakenly think that we still have enough time, but in fact we may not have it.
"Delayed life syndrome"
Postponing life for later is a psychological problem of not-so-lucky people in modern society, and the scenario of such procrastination develops in two directions:
a person’s life for the sake of one or two goals in the future (an expensive car or apartment, career growth) does not give the slightest chance for a little happiness in the present day - because true happiness, in the opinion of such a person, is possible only by achieving the goal he has set; living someone else's life - active participation in other people's events, all kinds of help to other people without paying attention to your own needs and desires.
This focus on future achievements and the miraculous emergence of a happy life allows you to avoid problems and conflicts with others, and responsibility for your own not very successful life. At the same time, people do not think that small joys are possible every day, but problems get worse over time, and their resolution will take much more internal resources.
You can't prepare for everything in life, so don't waste your time on it
You can't predict the future, so brooding and imagining worst-case scenarios that haven't even happened yet is a waste of energy. Try to focus only on the present moment. While the thought of not knowing what lies ahead can be scary, it also means that the best days of our lives are yet to come, which makes it sound more optimistic and positive.
Find happiness today
We can talk a lot about how you shouldn’t put life off until later, but what exactly should you do to ensure that your day isn’t wasted? Making yourself happy every day is possible and easy:
List of fun. Psychologists recommend making a list of events that would please the owner: favorite ice cream, a day spent in the park with children, a tourist trip, etc. Next to each item, note how long ago it last happened. For a long time? Then today is the day when we must definitely repeat this. Working with a list of pleasures will be more fruitful if you evaluate in monetary terms the possibility of obtaining each joy. Yes, a tour abroad is not cheap and it’s unlikely that you can afford it right away tomorrow, but the list probably includes completely “free” joys. Have you long dreamed of a cute kitten? Why take a purebred that costs crazy money, if in any animal shelter or through advertisements in the newspaper you can find a small lump in need of care? Health is worth a lot, but why waste it? A daily walk for an hour significantly strengthens the body's immunity, strengthens muscles, improves complexion - and there is no need to spend money on expensive pills and gyms. Stop in the race for material values: pleasant and joyful memories of past days, amazing trips and inner freedom are much more valuable than your own dacha, an expensive car or a mink coat. Alas, owners of expensive real estate, jewelry, etc. are not always happy. The undesirable material side of a person’s life also includes monetary loans: nothing poisons every hour of a person’s existence more than constant thoughts about one’s own debt to a creditor, hanging like the sword of Damocles. Concretize your dream. Go abroad to show off an inexpensive tour to your colleagues, or visit a city that has been on your mind for a long time? Marry for the sake of a change in social status or for the sake of love for this particular man? Change jobs because the new offer is more interesting, or because of a solid salary? If dreams go against actions, then the result of such actions will not bring either joy or happiness - because this is not what you really want. Sad, but correct advice: do not put off communication with children, parents and friends until later - “later” may not come for everyone and, in order not to later regret about what was left unsaid and unheard, listen to people, delve into their problems, if necessary, take part in their life or give advice.
6. The phone is something that often unsettles, stresses, worries and does not allow you to relax. The opportunity for others to “get” you at any moment (unless it is part of your profession) is depressing and does not allow you to switch from the needs of the outside world to your own. The habit of taking your phone with you even to the toilet is completely eradicable: it is enough to realize that having a phone does not oblige you to answer calls that come into your personal life at the wrong time.
7. Don’t bring your work home: neither in your briefcase, nor in your thoughts. Work takes away personal time and a person’s internal reserves, “eating up” other worries and personal needs. Meditation, yoga, interesting communication will help you disconnect your brain from work problems - harmony and peace of mind will put everything in its place: for work - work, for communication with family - home comfort.
8. Live for results. At the end of each day, it is recommended to sum up the day: a positive result pleases and brings self-satisfaction, and at the same time brings you closer to your global intended goal.
Living for today does not mean not thinking about tomorrow. It is only recommended to try, along with the pleasure of achieving the final goal, to enjoy the process of achieving it. Create every day, create something worth living every day and enjoy what you are investing now in achieving your plans - it is not easy, your thoughts are overloaded with memories, regrets about the past and worries about the future. But having developed a strategy for your own stay on this planet, you can learn to “not worry” about the insignificant and enjoy every second you live.
Carrier method
A crisis situation that requires immediate solutions and action causes most people to panic. The condition when the solid ground disappears from under your feet paralyzes the ability to concentrate. Rage, indignation or apathy, melancholy with complaints about an unhappy fate become a common reaction to unexpectedly difficult circumstances. Millions of people have had their lives destroyed, unable to think or act to change what happened.
The founder of applied psychology, Professor W. James, recommended coming to terms with the situation that has occurred, since by accepting the existing situation as inevitable, a person gets the opportunity for the next stage: to think soberly and overcome the consequences of any difficult situation.
Carnegie cites a method developed and outlined to him by engineer Carrier, who once found himself in a seemingly hopeless situation. His company or, in extreme cases, large monetary losses were at stake. During a period of days of fear and panic, Carrier suddenly imagined the worst that could happen. He could lose his company and have to look for a job. But several serious companies would be happy to hire him as an excellent specialist. He decided to accept it when it was inevitable. Suddenly Carrier realized that he had suddenly relaxed and felt a sense of peace. The engineer then focused on a solution that could save the situation. He was no longer worried and was only absorbed in the task at hand. Carrier found a way out of the situation and not only saved the enterprise, but also made a considerable profit.
How to learn to enjoy life and be happy
So what should we do? Whose strategy is correct? The carefree “slob” Winnie or the thrifty “boring” Rabbit?
Everything is good in moderation. But let's be honest. Let's admit to ourselves, not to our husband/wife, not to our boss, not to our parents, but to our precious self, let's admit what we really want. Relax, a car, a dress, health, success, love, to know the meaning of life?
We want happiness! Yes, dear ones, behind every “I want” there is a desire to be happy. Maybe that’s why we listen to the psychologist who delves into our childhood, promising that he will unwind the tangle and the dark streak will end. We follow the coach’s recommendations, which advises planning almost your entire life in advance, supposedly this will make life easier and happier. Or maybe that’s why they clung to the wise principle here and now, which explains how to finally feel the joy of being.
And happiness is not in the method, but within us. You know: “Who is the master who makes the grass green”? Exactly! You yourself, your body, mind, worldview! Man is the end of his own happiness... but he can also become the beginning of it, a blacksmith, a creator, a preserver. If he tries. If you allow yourself to be happy, enjoy life, then the past, future and present will turn not into 3 opposing forces, but into a single harmonious superpower.
