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A child belonging to the stuck character type is, to some extent, inherent in sociability and sociability. Yet these qualities are not dominant for him.
He devotes most of his time to analysis:
- yourself;
- life situations;
- emotions and feelings;
- behavior of other people.
Withdrawal is a hallmark personality trait of stuck children. They are so absorbed in their thoughts that it is sometimes very difficult for them to quickly switch from one task to another.
Thoughts about:
- the injustice caused to them;
- grievances caused;
- another plan for revenge.
Such vulnerability cultivates excessive suspicion in their character. It becomes increasingly difficult for them to trust others; they are constantly on guard, looking for some kind of catch. The reason for this may be wounds inflicted many years ago.
IMPORTANT! Individuals with a stuck type of temperament are unusually touchy. They are capable of harboring a grudge for many years, and then begin to take revenge.
What is a stuck personality type?
Getting stuck in psychology is a mental state in which a person lingers on some feeling or event for a long time.
Additional Information. The following expressions are considered popular synonyms for this phenomenon: “sticky state” and “lingering character.”
Most often, such behavior is observed in affectively stagnant people of the paranoid type of accentuation. The stuck type of personality represents such an accentuation of character, which is characterized by excessive stability of affect.
Stuck-type thoughts are destructive for the individual himself.
Additional Information. Whatever emotions a person experiences, they should subside over time. After all, a discharge has occurred, negative or positive feelings have come out.
For people with the stuck type, this process proceeds differently: after a while, the affect does not end. As soon as a person mentally returns to the situation, emotions begin to rage again.
School
At school age, hard work and love for work develop. If doubts arise about the child's abilities at this stage, the child's desire to continue his studies will be threatened, creating feelings of inferiority that will undermine his or her ability to be an active and productive person in society in the future.
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If children perceive school success and work as the only criteria that determine success, as adults they are likely to become the so-called “working mass”, characterized by a pre-established hierarchy.
So I suggest reaching out to your inner child and helping it grow. To do this, look at yourself as a child or just think about the child who lives inside you. How old is he? What is he like? What is he thinking? Who's next to him? What's bothering him?
Features of the stuck type of personality accentuation
Cognitive personality disorders - what does it mean?
The affective-stagnant personality type, which is characterized by being stuck, has a number of features. Among them are the following paranoid manifestations:
- Touchiness is a striking feature of people with a stuck type of accentuation.
- Grudge. A person is capable of being “stuck” for a long time in the grievances inflicted on him.
- Conflict. Representatives of the paranoid type will not miss the opportunity to enter into a quarrel with the offender at any opportunity.
- Affectively stagnant individuals endure the ups and downs that life provides for a long time. It is difficult for them to get rid of mental torment.
- There is a clear division between friends and enemies. In this case, people can quickly fall from a positive group to a negative one.
- Due to excessive suspicion, thoughts of unfair treatment are often generated in the head of a stuck person. In fact, these can only be speculations that have nothing to do with reality.
- The thinking of such people is immature, childish, prone to fantasy.
- In the love sphere, affectively stagnant individuals are pathologically jealous.
- Often people with a stuck type of accentuation have increased demands on themselves and others.
- Positive character traits include endurance, ambition and perseverance. These traits help people of this type achieve high results in the professional field.
Due to the constant increase in affect, a person can experience both long-term defeats in creative and work activities, and outstanding successes.
Constant swing of ups and downs
Important! Due to the continuous change of falls and satisfaction, people with a stuck type of accentuation develop a paranoid affect.
If the persistence of thoughts is too long, a person may develop overvalued or delusional ideas.
Talk
Take a piece of paper and two pens of different colors, one with your left hand and the other with your right. If you are right-handed, your right hand will be your adult self and your left hand will be your child self. If you are left-handed, it will be the other way around.
Now the conversation is only between you and your inner child. Who speaks first? How does a conversation start? The answers may be unexpected and surprising.
At this time, when you have found your inner child and are talking to him, it is time to start a relationship. Talk as much as you want, ask if he needs anything, and give him what he asks for. Call him by his name (yours), say sweet and loving words, express your love and make suggestions. Like the parent you wish you had at that age.
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Causes
How to love yourself - what does this mean in psychology, acceptance of your personality
The exact reasons that cause the development of psychopathology are not known. There are several views describing the process of its emergence. According to the first theory, the formation of a stuck character of the paranoid type is a genetic predisposition.
Additional Information. Scientists have found that twins exhibit paranoid traits to almost the same extent. This suggests a hereditary predisposition to the paranoid type.
Quite often, the stuck type of accentuation occurs in those people whose close relatives suffered from mental disorders. The disadvantage of this theory is the inevitability of the situation. According to psychoanalytic theory, the stuck character of the paranoid type is formed in early childhood.
Strict upbringing
Important! This is especially true for children who were raised in authoritarian families, where there was strictness, exactingness, humiliation and physical punishment.
Because of this approach to upbringing, the child gradually lost trust, first in his parents, then in other people. During the period of growing up, such a child gradually develops a defense mechanism consisting of aggression and distrust. There is also a habit of blaming the people around you for all failures.
Concept of being stuck in psychological development
Not everyone matures as they grow. The concept of psychological immaturity has been an intuitive concept we have had for many years, but only recently has developmental psychology come to the point where the idea of arrested development can be explained and used as a powerful tool for explaining problems in learning and behavior.
Stuck development is both the least obvious and the most common childhood problem. Many are stuck in a psychological immaturity that prevents them from outgrowing problems such as aggression and resistance, as well as any other dysfunctional or inferior behavior. This condition manifests itself in a variety of ways and underlies a variety of problems in children, such as imbalanced experience and expression of emotions, persistent worrying, chronic impulsivity, increased need for affection and dependency, and self-centered and immature relationship-building. Many children get a little stuck developmentally from time to time. Some get stuck severely and for a long time. The sooner this happens, the more serious the consequences for development.
When children get stuck, they also cannot outgrow or compensate for any developmental differences or deficiencies they may have. In addition, these children are less likely to recover from the harm or trauma they have experienced. As a result, these children are more likely to be diagnosed with behavioral disorders and learning disabilities. However, the central problem is not the disorders or developmental features, but the stuckness that makes children victims of this condition. When we understand this, doors for change open before us and many options arise for correcting the situation.
Children who are stuck developmentally are also stuck emotionally. Experiences that should evoke vulnerable feelings do not adequately move stuck children emotionally or move them toward appropriate behavior. Loss does not cause them grief, futility does not cause sadness, internal conflict does not push them to consciousness, fulfillment does not lead to satiety. In more serious cases of stuckness, what should be alarming does not even prompt them to be cautious. Such children are unable to learn from the consequences of their actions, form good intentions, or stay out of trouble.
Remaining immature, children remain dependent on attachment to the same extent. Therefore, training, education and treatment must take place in the context of contact with the child. In addition, great care must be taken to preserve the bonds that empower the adults responsible for such children. Although this approach seems obvious once one understands it, it is nevertheless the opposite of prevailing practice in dealing with difficult children.
If a child is stuck developmentally, the usual ways of dealing with misbehavior—including punishing with sanctions, consequences, and time-outs—actually make the situation worse. For the reasons that are discussed in the course (we are talking about the Neufeld Institute Intensive I course “Understanding Children”), what works with non-stuck children will have the opposite effect on stuck children. But without understanding the underlying condition (immaturity), parents and teachers, as well as experts, are forced to use counterproductive measures. Part of the challenge when raising or working with stuck children is to learn to work around the problem and its symptoms until it is resolved.
The good news is that for most children, stuckness can be overcome, but children need help with this. Learning to recognize the signs and symptoms of stuckness and understanding the steps to overcome it is a developmental “first aid kit” and the most important thing a parent or professional who works with children can have.
From the description of the Neufeld Institute Intensive I course “Understanding Children”
Translation by Irina Gift
Editing by Nadezhda Shestakova
Source
Photo taken from pixabay.com
How it manifests itself
Epileptoid personality type
Getting stuck in psychology is characterized by a whole set of symptoms that one has to deal with every day. They negatively affect a person's life.
Additional Information. The first symptoms are noticeable at an early age. Such children often overestimate their abilities, are characterized by excessive straightforwardness, stereotypical thinking and a disdainful attitude towards the feelings and interests of other individuals.
Fight for justice
Psychologists describe the following typical manifestations of accentuation in adulthood:
- It is difficult for a person to establish trusting and close relationships with people.
- Because of the fear of being offended or deceived, an individual prefers to refuse acquaintances, choosing loneliness.
- Often such people are left without a partner due to excessive pedantry and pronounced egocentrism.
- A stuck personality type often faces psychosomatic problems: diseases of the gastrointestinal tract, headaches, hypertension and dysfunction of the reproductive system. This occurs due to constant tension and the inability to recognize stress.
- A representative of the stuck type is unable to find mutual understanding with children. This is especially true for children under 5 years of age. An affectively stagnant person values the truth, so in a conversation with a child he will stubbornly prove it. It is important for children in a three-year-old crisis to feel smart and reasonable. Such a clash of two views can cause moral injury to both one and the other interlocutor.
- A stuck person has difficulty talking about himself. Due to the fact that such people do not peer into the depths of their personality, they are able to characterize their own person only in activity.
- Due to persistence and thirst for justice, a person constantly fights with people through complaints, letters and lawsuits.
Such symptoms often lead affectively stagnant individuals to depression, as well as the development of compulsive-obsessive and anxiety disorders.
At 2-3 years
A few years later, at the age of 2 or 3, the child learns to be independent and develops self-control. If parents prevent him from developing these aspects, for example, by always doing what the child can do independently and without difficulty, or, conversely, by expecting the child to do impossible things, they can create a feeling of shame. On the other hand, if parents continue to correct their children without understanding the natural needs of their age, they are likely to have difficulty controlling the world around them and, therefore, controlling themselves.
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As adults, instead of feeling confident, they feel like others are always analyzing them in detail and treating them with suspicion or disapproval. They may also have symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder and persecutory delusions.
Diagnostics and correction
Diagnostic measures aimed at establishing an accentuated personality can be implemented using various questionnaires and tests. For example:
- Personality questionnaire of G. Smishek. It includes 88 questions. The subject must answer “Yes” or “No” to each of them. There are 2 types of this questionnaire: for adults and children. They are the same, only in the version for kids the questions are described in a different form.
- The A.E. questionnaire is suitable for diagnosing adolescents aged 14-18 years. Lichko. Thanks to objective scales, it will be possible to establish not only the type of character accentuation, but also to determine psychopathy.
- To establish the degree of aggressiveness, a psychologist can use the test of A. Darkey and A. Bass. Of the 75 statements, it is necessary to establish which options are most typical for the subject.
- The methods of R. Cattell will help you study the structure of personality. They contain 2 versions of the questionnaire: for children and adults.
- The K. Thomas questionnaire will help you check conflict levels.
Treatment of a person with a stuck type of accentuation can be carried out with the help of a psychotherapist. The shortest course is 5 meetings.
Important! The main goal of therapeutic sessions will be to teach an affectively stagnant individual to use character traits for good purposes.
Appointment with a psychologist
It is difficult for such individuals to work with a psychologist, since they are constantly waiting for confirmation that they are right. You can learn to control feelings and emotions, as well as correct your own reactions to stimuli on your own. To do this, psychologists advise starting in-depth work on yourself using the following recommendations:
- It is necessary to constantly separate your own fantasies from reality. This requires asking possible offenders why they committed this or that act, and whether their goal was really to cause damage.
- You need to communicate with people more often. The more a person learns about the lives of other individuals, their reactions, motives, the better he will understand them.
- It is important to study child psychology, which will allow you to build friendly relationships with kids. Pleasant communication with your child will allow you to learn to look at the world with an open mind.
- You need to think positively. As an exercise, you should try every day to extract the positives from a bad situation. Gradually this will become a habit.
- It is necessary to try to justify any behavior of people. This will allow you not only to moderate your own ardor, but also to understand the person’s motives.
If the positive aspects of character are not developed, the individual will turn into an antisocial personality. It is better to identify accentuations in childhood - this will help to carry out corrective work in a shorter time.
At 3-6 years old
Between the ages of 3 and 6, love is expressed by encouraging independence, supporting initiative, curiosity, and creativity. If parents do not allow their child to behave autonomously at this stage and always respond with punishment, they will create a huge sense of guilt in the child.
The adult life of a person with such deprivation is characterized by a lack of attention to problem solving, setting goals and achieving them. In addition, persistent guilt can cause passivity, impotence or frigidity, as well as psychotic behavior.
How to get rid of self-deception?
If self-consciousness becomes a habit, it will be difficult to break. It is important to understand how to live further, taking into account how long a person has lived in this state. It is necessary to monitor your own thoughts, focus on the present and the future. You should forget about the failures (see What Luck Really Is) committed in the past tense. It is best to focus on the future in order to see the positive sides in any situation. You need to understand what experience can be gained from being in certain circumstances and interacting with different people. You should not allow self-examination to turn into neurosis (see Neuroses and nervous breakdowns).
To avoid excessive self-criticism, after another shortcoming is discovered, it is important to set yourself a specific goal for changing your behavior. There is no need to set any time interval. It is quite possible to help three people so that it will be considered the beginning of a new path, a concrete plan.
You should not work on more than three qualities at the same time. It is best to correct one flaw first and then move on to the second. You should not strive for excessive personal self-improvement. In everything you need to know when to stop. Don’t forget about positive character traits that can overcome any negative behavior.
Absolutely any criticism and memories of failures should lead to the setting of specific goals, life plans, and revision of priorities. Questions should be asked about the benefits of all thoughts and practical application. During the analysis, it is necessary to find positive aspects, especially if the situation is too terrible and cannot lead to anything good. In any circumstances you can find something good, gain some experience.
You can introduce spiritual practices (see Relaxation Methods), which serve as a stop to internal dialogue or full stay in the present moment. After some time, these trainings can train the brain not to be distracted by unnecessary things and not to get stuck in negative experiences. You don't have to waste time and money on attending different courses. You can always listen to meditative music (see Sounds of nature for relaxation and meditation) to relax and immerse yourself in a state of reflection. Don’t forget to take the time to calm your nerves, live in the present moment, without focusing on the negativity and mistakes you’ve made.
If you can’t cope with soul-searching on your own, you can always seek help from a qualified psychologist or talk to a friend. While listening to meaningless reasoning, another person will ask specific questions about the advisability of staying in this state. Thus, you will be able to hear about a completely new vision of the situation. This will help you find yourself on a new path of reasoning, to understand what you really want.
Remember that you have earned the right to live a full life, rich in emotions and impressions. You should not allow negative thoughts and experiences to take over. Each of us makes certain mistakes in order to gain invaluable experience. This is precisely the unique effect of our life - to fall and rise in order to achieve our goals.
