There are people who are characterized by indecisiveness, because it is precisely this that allows them to evade responsibility and not participate in the process of making important decisions. Not only personal, but also professional.
Consequently, they simply do not want to shoulder the burden of responsibility. But you need to understand that it is necessary to overcome the barrier of indecision. Because it prevents you from making the right and bold choice. Consider its positive and negative aspects, earn the trust of management in the professional field, and as a result, take advantage of the opportunity to move up the career ladder. Obtaining a higher paying position.
What is indecisiveness
Indecision is the fear of choice and the fear of making a mistake. An indecisive person begins to argue intrusively and annoyingly, thinks too slowly, becomes suspicious and timid, and also engages in soul-searching. All this is in order to shift the responsibility onto another person, who will free him from making a decision.
The feeling of indecisiveness causes many other emotions: self-doubt, self-pity, resentment of the world around us, fear of being judged by other people. All this prevents you from moving forward, being responsible and independent. Indecision is a character quality of people who will never take risks in life and will run away from problems. It is easier to find excuses for a problem and your behavior than to find a correct and correct solution. The manifestation of indecision is due to the fact that an indecisive person thinks that he has actually solved his problem, and has not put it off for later. The thing is that the brain perceives a “gone” problem as disappeared and solved.
“Indecisiveness is the thief of opportunity” - Jim Rohn quote. This quote more than ever accurately described the negative properties of indecision: it steals all hopes for a better future for a person, preventing him from developing and leaving him in his clouded mind. A person decides to stop indecision rather than make a firm decision and go towards the goal.
Signs
What does an indecisive person look like? Such a person is easy to pick out from the crowd. The person behaves very modestly and tries to get lost behind other people. To better camouflage himself, he prefers to wear clothes in discreet colors (gray or black). The gaze of such a person does not focus on anything specific. When talking with an indecisive person, you may notice that she will not look into your eyes, but somewhere into the distance.
An indecisive person likes to hunch over. His movements are constrained, unnatural, and sometimes too fussy. The person is trying to become invisible, so he will try to close himself off from strangers. This can be clearly seen in the gestures of an indecisive person. He will assume closed postures, constantly crossing his arms and legs. That's what psychologists say.
In addition, you can notice that indecisive people shift from foot to foot for a long time before entering, for example, the office of some official; they sit with their knees together, while women clutch their handbag to their chest.
Modesty is another sign of a shy person. Such a person will never prove or show anything to anyone. The person will try not to stand out from the crowd. Among indecisive people there are often truly talented people, but they are afraid to demonstrate their abilities because they are not sure that others will appreciate their talent.
Indecisiveness is worse than a failed attempt.
This phrase was said by the Spanish writer, author of the novel in the form of a drama “Celestina” Fernando de Rojas. Indeed, it is better to try and fail than to think for a long time and lose the opportunity to try. The human condition of indecision forces him to think for a long time, weigh the pros and cons. However, while you sit and decide what to do in a given situation, the train of opportunities will leave. And putting the burden of choice on another person is not always a good idea. The person helping to make a decision is doing a disservice. The fact is that an indecisive person will get used to having everything decided for him and, ultimately, will be completely unable to make decisions on his own. He will always seek help from others so that everything can be decided for him. Uncertainty will double, and the fear of making the wrong mistake can break a person’s psyche.
It’s true that you lose more from indecision than from a wrong decision. Indecision can lead to detachment, psychological problems, personality degradation, loss of friends and loved ones, as well as loss of opportunities that could lead to success. All this can lead to pathological indecision. It is important to overcome indecision as soon as it appears.
Everyone has a moment of cowardly indecision, all people doubt their actions. However, decisive people are distinguished by the fact that they look at all situations with optimism: they consider mistakes as experience or life lessons. They are not afraid to look into the future, move forward and develop. The main difference between a decisive person and an indecisive one is awareness. A decisive person is aware of the risk of choice, but still is not afraid to act.
Summarize
The cause of pathological indecisiveness is mental disorders. Their roots often go back to childhood. Overprotection and improper upbringing lead to the fact that people in adulthood do not know how to make decisions, are afraid of consequences, and become perfectionists.
Mental disorders can be caused by bad experiences or depression. Indecision is added to neuroses as a “bonus”.
It’s hard for an indecisive person not only at work, where you need to solve problems quickly and efficiently. He also suffers in everyday life - he constantly gets stuck on little things, and life turns into sheer stress. These people not only suffer themselves, but also cause problems for others - after all, they shift responsibility for their lives onto the shoulders of others.
Material prepared by: Alexander Sergeev Cover photo: Depositphotos
Reasons for indecisiveness
- Excessive parental care in childhood. If from birth adults made all decisions for the child, did not take his opinion into account and did not allow him to make decisions on his own, then in the future the child himself will not be able to do this. Growing up, a person does not understand that he needs to make his own decisions and bear responsibility for them.
- Childhood trauma. Another option is that the child made the decision himself, but it turned out to be wrong, and the parents punished or scolded him. Because of this, an insecure person grows up who will be afraid to make decisions.
- Perfectionism. Perfectionist people like everything to be perfect, and therefore they have a fear of making a decision. Doubts arise that everything may not go so smoothly, and not so ideally.
- Diffidence. Insecure people tend not to express their opinions and defend their point of view. The fear of offending another person or spoiling your opinion of yourself is much stronger than proving that you are right. Indecision and self-doubt are often intertwined with each other.
- Laziness. It often happens that a person is simply too lazy to solve matters and problems. He doesn't care what happens next, so he's in no hurry to make a decision. Such a person, as a rule, lacks motivation for a good life, has internal problems and experiences, as well as low self-esteem.
To combat indecision in a man or woman, you must first find the root of the problem. If the problem comes from childhood, then it is better to talk to a specialist who will help you get rid of it correctly. Or you need to consciously approach your character and behavior and try to correct unnecessary qualities in yourself. Unconscious human behavior often manifests itself in unnecessary shyness, embarrassment, timidity and indecisiveness.
Try tossing a coin
When it comes to small decisions—like whether to eat blueberry or strawberry yogurt—it really works.
If you give the choice to fate, then a person has a natural reaction - regret or joy. If the coin requires you to choose blueberries, but you are disappointed, buy strawberry yogurt.
Indecisiveness should not only be seen as a negative state. Sometimes thanks to him it is possible to make the only right decision.
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How and in what ways does it manifest itself?
- Professional activity. Indecisiveness can ruin your career. At work, you need to be able to take risks, act according to plan, not be afraid to make mistakes, and if you make a mistake, be able to bear responsibility for it. The same cannot be said about indecisiveness.
- Relationship. In a relationship, indecision is bad because it can push your potential partner away. The fear of approaching someone, starting a conversation, and suggesting they go somewhere can ruin future relationships between a man and a woman. As a rule, women love a confident and decisive man. And these same determined men are attracted to a confident woman who achieves her goals.
- Personal growth. Because of indecision, a person will not grow personally, because in order to progress one must not be afraid to make decisions and not be afraid of new things. Psychological health. Indecision can be caused by internal experiences, problems in the family or with oneself. Indecisiveness can also cause depression, stress or neurotic disorder.
- Creation. It has often happened that an indecisive and insecure person has a talent for art. But because he is afraid to start and afraid of being judged, he gives up and doesn’t choose anything.
What problems do indecisive people face?
What is indecisiveness: Causes, signs, consequences Photo: Depositphotos
People who rely on other people's opinions and shift responsibility for their actions to others face big problems in life. And they cause a lot of problems for others.
A person’s uncertainty and indecision is visible to the naked eye - this attracts swindlers of all stripes, sectarians. A person who relies on other people's opinions and thoughtlessly follows other people's advice is an easy prey for attackers.
Indecisive people miss opportunities. While they are in doubt, others are hired for high-paying jobs, and other people’s families move into their dream home. A person's indecision limits his prospects in any area - from career to romantic relationships.
An indecisive person strives to get away from problems - to simply pretend that they do not exist. But if problems are not solved, they accumulate and the situation gets worse. This leads to constant stress, and depression is just around the corner with all its “charms” - decreased vitality, chronic fatigue and lack of energy, a feeling of hopelessness and impasse, and accompanying illnesses.
Women are forgiven for being insecure, but men are condemned for this quality. Living with the stigma of being a loser is hard for anyone.
Indecision is clearly manifested in everyday life: it is difficult to make a purchase, choose a gift, or decide what to wear. Indecisive people have a hard time parting with old things. They cannot break off relationships, even if they are painful.
Both options aren't that bad.
Sometimes we feel like making the right decision is a matter of life and death. We think that one of the choices is right, the other is wrong. Most often, this is a misconception. What matters is how you use your choice. For example, you need to choose where to go in the evening. As long as you have a positive attitude, wherever you go will be fun. If you constantly worry about making the right decision, you will not enjoy it even if you make the so-called “right choice.”
Several important nuances of achieving success
Psychologists highlight several key aspects of how to stop being shy in company and at the same time win the favor of strangers.
The list of such conditions invariably includes:
- acceptance of constraint (excitement, isolation) as a given fact;
- positive thinking, smile, neat appearance;
- lack of comparison of oneself with other people;
- training in slow, intelligible speech.
It is necessary to clearly understand that it is quite normal to feel shy, nervous or withdrawn in certain situations. Don't try to hide your emotions, because it always looks unnatural and repulsive. At the same time, the initial impression of a person is influenced by his appearance, facial expression, and voice intonation, so try to always look brand new, exude positivity, and don’t forget to smile.
There is no need to constantly draw parallels with more successful people in the company, otherwise this can lead to negativity, detachment, and the desire to quickly go to a quiet, secluded place. A huge problem for many people is slurred, rapid speech, which not all participants in the conversation can understand. Learn to express your own thoughts clearly, clearly, slowly, which will allow you to attract the attention of others, avoiding caustic ridicule.
