Self-respect or self-disrespect? Causes and Effects

Self-esteem is one of the important psychological characteristics of a person. Being the highest sense of self-worth, self-respect appears in the form of a positive opinion about oneself. A self-respecting person is endowed with adequate objective self-esteem. The degree of self-esteem determines the success of an individual and his level of happiness. High self-esteem leads to success, as well as high achievements in any area of ​​life, and on the contrary, low self-esteem precedes most grief and failure.

What is self-esteem

Self-esteem is a person’s attitude towards himself, taking into account his merits and successes or shortcomings and guilt.

A person is not born with this feeling, but develops it in the process of life. The development of self-esteem occurs during education, under the influence of the upbringing of parents who teach children the appropriate model of behavior.

Meaning in human life

Self-esteem is a significant feature for a person. It is determined depending on the achievement of the goals set by the individual.

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In life, every person tries to achieve success that is consistent with his self-esteem and strengthens it.

The functions of self-esteem are that it regulates the activities and behavior of an individual. A person correlates characteristics with goals and means, accumulates knowledge, thanks to which the formation of personality occurs at a conscious age.

Adequate self-respect

Self-esteem develops in several levels, which show how much a person needs self-realization.

If he is tall, then the person does not feel discomfort in society, clearly sets goals for himself and achieves them. He does not make excuses to others, does not seek approval, but lives according to his own internal laws. For such a person, self-realization is of great importance; she tries to achieve her goals and realize her aspirations.

But most people have an average level of self-esteem. In their decisions, they take into account the opinions of others, but do not blindly trust them. Such people have a need for respect from others, which allows them to realize their own importance and achieve goals.

Look for mentors, not critics

The main mistake of most people with low scores is focusing on the opinions of others. Trying to listen to other people's advice and the generally accepted point of view, a person chooses a place of study, work, life partner, hobby, and so on. At the same time, a person considers it shameful to defend his own opinion. Based on this, two points should be taken into account:

  • Beware of advisers. If the person who is trying to criticize you or teach you about life is not satisfied with his own situation, it is unlikely that you will be able to gain any valuable experience from him. Most likely, he is embittered and is trying to push you down the same wrong path.
  • Try to learn from people who are happy with their lives and have achieved a lot. They are usually reluctant to give advice and do not reveal their secrets. But such people can be good mentors if you can gain their trust.

Personal qualities of a self-respecting person

If a man or woman adequately assesses opportunities and treats themselves with respect, then they will have the following qualities:

  1. Pay attention to your health.
  2. Don't waste time judging and discussing other people.
  3. Constantly developing and improving.
  4. They do not criticize and compare their achievements with the successes of others.

A person with adequate self-esteem knows how to understand people and prefers to work on himself.

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Showing a lack of self-esteem

Signs of a lack of self-respect can appear even in strong personalities.

This problem is accompanied by:

  • distrust of other people;
  • doubt about the importance or necessity of the matter;
  • low self-confidence;
  • a constant feeling that others do not like him;
  • suspicions of deception;
  • feeling of loneliness in society.

Such people find it difficult to communicate with others, they withdraw into themselves and prefer not to share their experiences.

Reasons for loss of self-esteem

If a person does not set priorities correctly and sets inflated goals for himself, then he will not have enough self-esteem. In this case, there is no adequate awareness of one’s needs, excessive irritability appears and the ability to demonstrate the best qualities is lost.

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Loss of self-esteem occurs due to failures at work or in your personal life.

If there is a lack of confidence, then a person is afraid to show himself as a promising person, hides or denies his own talents.

Self-analysis is the path to increasing self-esteem

Pride and self-respect must have solid ground. To develop these feelings in yourself, you need to regularly conduct self-analysis and improve yourself in accordance with its conclusions. It is worth paying attention to the following points:

  • Life experience. What specific situations contributed to personal development?
  • Capabilities. A person must find at least 5 talents or skills in himself.
  • Strengths and weaknesses. The first need to be considered from the point of view of their development, and the second - overcoming.
  • Plans and dreams. What would you like to achieve in life and why haven't you done it yet?
  • Health status. Are there any problems with your health? If yes, how to eliminate them?
  • Feeling of self-fulfillment. Is it present? What helps you achieve it?

Ways to develop self-esteem

If self-esteem has been lost, it can be regained. A person will not consider himself self-sufficient if he happens to lose confidence in his own abilities.

You can cultivate self-esteem in the following ways:

  1. Accept yourself. This means that you need to give up the idea of ​​pleasing others, stop sacrificing your interests for the sake of public well-being. If a person loves and accepts himself, then it is important for him to develop his personal traits. He strives for personal development; it is important for him to prove his worth.
  2. Independence. The principles of self-sufficiency do not develop immediately. Efforts are required to become independent from the opinions of society. But thanks to this, a person will realize his talents and dreams. Maintaining your own judgments if they are not the same as those of other people is quite difficult, since you will have to constantly defend your opinion and be sure that it is correct.
  3. Self-realization. If a person is passionate about something, he feels happiness. This gives him the strength to change his life for the better. Therefore, everyone needs self-respect. Without it, no one sees prospects and achieves success.
  4. Ignoring criticism. Often, being in a certain social environment, a person loses his individuality. He cannot fully control his life. Only a self-sufficient person, you don’t need to take criticism to heart, it’s important to distance yourself from it. If you ignore negative messages addressed to you, this will get rid of your complexes. This also includes the ability to forgive mistakes.

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Signs of self-esteem include the ability to assess perspectives correctly. The need for this feeling helps to reach new heights.

Love yourself and realize your importance

If you want to develop self-confidence, psychology recommends loving yourself, finding positive qualities in yourself and demonstrating them in every possible way. Think about it, if you don’t like yourself, then what should others see in you? Only adequate self-esteem will help you come out of the shadows. But you shouldn’t exaggerate your merits. This has nothing to do with self-affirmation. Typically, this behavior is aimed at masking your self-doubt, rather than overcoming it.

Self Esteem Test

Diagnosis of the level of self-respect is carried out using the Rosenberg scale. The determination is made based on the answers to the questions. Numbers indicate agreement or disagreement opposite the statement:

  • 4 – complete agreement;
  • 3 – consent;
  • 2 – disagreement;
  • 1 – absolute disagreement.

The test consists of statements showing a person’s attitude towards himself and his opinion about his own qualities. Next to each question they put the corresponding number and at the end the results are calculated.

If, for example, the result is from 10 to 18 points, there is not enough self-respect, the person is inclined to blame himself and sees only shortcomings. 18-22 points indicate a balance between self-respect and self-abasement; opinion constantly fluctuates in different directions. 23-34 points indicate that a person adequately assesses abilities and talents, but is prone to self-flagellation in case of failure. If the subject scores 35-40 points, then he respects personal and professional qualities.

A person needs self-esteem more than the recognition of others. In this way, self-development and comprehension of the spiritual world are achieved.

Sometimes self-esteem decreases, this happens if failures occur frequently, but there are methods to return it to normal.

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The essence of selfishness

The ego is an instrument of the human psyche that requires practicality, prudence and self-interest. Ego in itself does not make a person an egoist; the problem is vanity, pride and humiliation. Suffering lies in ignorance of the essence of existence. Self-esteem ranges from collapse to unimaginable highs. As a result, selfishness becomes a way out for those suffering from rudeness and ignorance. A tough personality runs away from negativity by adopting an indifferent attitude towards others, which is practicality at the level of primitive times.

In order to achieve a goal, a vulnerable person takes more subtle steps in getting what he wants, without ceasing to be an egoist. A person with life experience is able to predict in advance the result of his own actions, presenting selfishness as altruism and benefit for others. An intelligent person does good to others so that others do good to him.

Self-esteem, as the degree of personal self-development, implies the human ego as a concept that is worthy of love, joy and happiness. A person himself demands recognition and approval through his actions. Moderate egoism leads to the development of inner peace, if you do not hide from the outside, and fight for the common good. Such an ego reveals the essence of human nature. We do not call problems valor and nobility, the main thing is to understand where the material world ends and the spiritual world begins.

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