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"Either you're dead or you're moving forward"
Mick Jagger
“Why degrade?!”, someone will be indignant. Because stability as such, in fact, does not exist - it is an illusion.
There is either progress, or regression, or development, or degradation. Everything that stands still automatically degrades.
Therefore, if a person does not develop, does not strive for more than he has and is capable of at the moment, he stops in place and gradually degrades.
Let's take nature: a lake in which there is no movement of water due to underground springs and springs gradually becomes a swamp and begins to bloom. A house in which no one lives for a long time begins to become overgrown with cobwebs and deteriorates.
Everything that doesn’t improve, doesn’t work on, doesn’t update, slowly dies. Body muscles that are not used for a long time gradually atrophy.
Our life is a journey. Whether this will be the path of development or degradation is up to everyone to decide for themselves.
Development is something different for everyone:
- for some, this is the path to financial freedom and success in society;
- for some - mastering new skills and abilities, for others - a career or achieving a goal;
- For some, development is the path to one’s true self, to understanding oneself, self-realization.
In a word, this is movement. This is what ultimately makes each of us happier.
What is the problem with 80% of people?
If everything is so clear and obvious, why then does 80% of the population experience Groundhog Day every day, spinning in the “work-home-work-no-joy” wheel, do not feel the colors of life and rather survive every day than live?
Why do thousands of people endure the wrong relationships, the wrong people nearby, live in the wrong place, with the wrong people and not the way they would like?
In fact, people don't become successful because they don't know how.
There is plenty of information in open sources; there are thousands of personal examples of outstanding personalities and their success stories. There are books and resources for self-development.
The problem is not that there is a lack of knowledge on this topic.
The problem is that most people either do not take any action at all in order to change their lives a little, or take some scattered periodic actions, chaotically and without any benefit in the final result.
Option 2
Human life is filled with great meaning that not everyone can comprehend. Any thinking person should live, work, and improve himself. Self-improvement is an essential part of life. It is necessary to constantly learn, work on yourself, develop, and benefit society, otherwise you can lose your mind and lose your human appearance. And then life loses all meaning. The classics of Russian literature tried to convey this idea to readers in their immortal works.
The main character of M. E. Saltykov-Shchedrin’s fairy tale “The Wild Landowner” is a certain nobleman with a tricky surname. He saw the whole meaning of his existence in pampering the body. This was supposed to be provided for him by serfs, whom, by the way, he despised and did not allow them to live, and tortured them with fines. They had to devote their whole lives to him, but they couldn’t even think about themselves. There were only prohibitions for the peasants. The people turn to God with a prayer to save them from such a life. The men disappeared from the master's estate. The air has become cleaner without them, and the landowner is happy. Since he owed all his benefits to his peasants, without them his stove would not be lit, and there was no one to cook food. The landowner even stopped washing because there was no one to bring water. The master was not used to doing anything on his own. I am also not accustomed to studying. He began to live as he had to. All his acquaintances turned away from him, and the master lost contact with people. Gradually he began to run wild, lost his human appearance, and began to walk on all fours. The landowner forgot how to talk and began to attack people. The landowner thought only about his body, did not engage in any business, did not think about his soul, so he began to grow stupid. Due to his stupidity, he lost the peasants who did all the work on the estate. Without development, the landowner turned into a primitive man; the opposite evolution took place.
The gradual degradation of man is traced by A.P. Chekhov in the story “Ionych”. A young doctor Dmitry Ionovich Startsev arrives in a provincial town. He spends a lot of time in the hospital and is interested in his profession. He has desires, dreams, aspirations. He takes care of Ekaterina Turkina, whom everyone calls cat. She leaves to conquer the capital without returning his feelings. Startsev's life is changing. He loses interest in work; his only joy is the colorful pieces of paper that he takes out of his pockets in the evenings. He stopped going to concerts and the theater, but he hasn’t given up cards yet. The hero became flabby and irritable. Chekhov shows how Startsev gradually loses interest in life. He even lost his name. Now his name is simply Ionych. Ekaterina Ivanovna, who returned from the capital, did not recognize him. She remembered how enthusiastically he talked about the hospital. This reminder touched Startsev, awakening memories that were now unpleasant to him. He tried not to remember the dreams of his youth, so as not to be ashamed, painful and insulting. His life lost its joy and fire; it became boring and monotonous. And Ionych himself turned into an irritable, indifferent, apathetic person. He has no noble goals, his development has stopped.
Thus, we can conclude that a person’s refusal to develop leads to personality degradation. People become apathetic, lazy, uninteresting. They stop living life to the fullest, limiting their interests to physical needs. They lose interest in life and stop setting ambitious, noble goals. Such people do not advance humanity forward, turning into ballast.
What is the reason for inaction?
There is an explanation for this desire to be where you are.
Dynamic balance
In nature there is such a thing as “dynamic equilibrium”. When a lot of effort is put into staying in place. That is, maintain balance.
Externally, the object is motionless, but titanic work is being done inside it. But there is no strength to move forward.
This is one option: when a person seems to be rushing about, wanting something, rushing to extremes.
- He starts running in the morning and stops every other day because the weather is bad.
- Leaves an unloved partner, but returns a week later, “because what would he/she do without me.”
- He thinks about his own business, is tormented by this question, but sits in the office from 9 to 6, because “what if nothing works out?!”
When a person spends a lot of strength and energy on communicating with manipulators, on nurturing his own grievances, on “living in the past,” on everything that requires resources but does not bring anything positive. And there is no strength left to move forward.
Danger of stopping
What do you think, if a climber, climbing a mountain, stops for a long time and hangs on a safety rope, how will events develop? That's right: either he, tearing his palms into blood, will begin to rise to the top again, or head over heels, with greater or less speed, will roll down to the very base of the mountain. According to the laws of living nature, any object either develops and improves, or degrades and collapses. Unfortunately, there is no third option.
The most powerful impulse for development that a person receives at birth gradually loses its strength. He has to overcome many filters from “I don’t want”, “laziness”, “tired”, “there are more fun things to do” and, finally, “not the right age”. And now, without realizing how it started, he slides downhill, stupidly flipping through television channels, eating chips, spilling beer on his T-shirt... Horrible!
Psychology (according to A. Maslow) identifies several stages of personality degradation.
Degradation
The first bell is the feeling of being a “pawn”, when a person thinks that everything in his life depends on other people or on current circumstances. This condition is called the phenomenon of “learned helplessness.”
Further more. Taking care of primary needs becomes a priority. A person is limited to worries about what to eat, where to sleep, with whom to have sex.
Gradually, the world around loses its colors and everyone around them receives a tag with a clear definition: “white” - “black”, “good” - “bad”, “us” - “alien”. It is especially scary that at this stage a person develops the same contrasting, without halftones, attitude towards himself. I am a star, I am a nonentity. Both destroy the personality.
And now the reluctance to analyze and think turns into an impossibility. Such a person is unable to think about the preconditions of influences; he perceives any slogans as a given. In this state, a person is an ideal object for manipulators. With magnificent winged gaskets at the ready, he chants the slogans of the only correct political party. This condition can well be considered social death.
Unlike physical, it harms not only the “dead”, but also those people who surround him. This is especially dangerous if in the immediate environment of the degenerate there are children who easily learn similar patterns of behavior. Next to the dad lying stupidly on the sofa, as a rule, you can see a daughter who is stuck on Instagram or a son who spends days fighting tanks (and this is not the worst possible option!).
A terrible and, unfortunately, common picture. I'm sure my blog visitors will agree with this. To avoid such a sad fate, you need to start living consciously, which means:
Constantly invest effort and time in maintaining yourself at a given level, developing, fighting passivity, strengthening willpower.
You can read more about degradation and ways to avoid it here.
How to trick your brain and force yourself to do something?
For example, a person wants to improve their physical fitness and start running. But he can’t start right now, because there are a lot of reasons: he doesn’t have running shoes, he has them, but in the wrong color, the weather is bad, and so on.
As a result, he doesn't start at all. Running means straining. There is not enough motivation.
But if there is a beach season on the horizon, an affair with an interesting partner, some important event where you need to be in shape, motivation increases sharply. Because the difference between “want” and “have” has changed.
Basic Concepts
Psychology textbooks tell us that self-development is a person’s conscious work on himself, independent improvement of personality, its development. At the same time, a person concentrates on his own goals, systematically processes and assimilates the necessary information, changes himself and his life.
Having decided to improve, you must clearly understand that self-development is:
- not the acquisition of any superpowers (wings will not grow and gills for unlimited diving will not appear), but a thorny and difficult, but sure path to success in life;
- not the desire for power over other people, but personal growth, which turns a “reproducing person” into a “creative person”;
- not receiving some kind of sacred or mystical information, but introspection, which allows you to change your attitude towards yourself and the world, create harmonious connections;
- not a path to a specific final achievement, but a continuous learning process in which you are both a teacher and a student.
What prevents a person from developing?
Fear of making mistakes
This is the disease of all perfectionists and high school students: “What if I do the wrong thing?”
In fact, mistakes are normal, without them nothing will work out at all.
Confirmation is the stories of outstanding personalities (remember Tesla, Ford, Jobs, Gates), for whom everything did not go smoothly and one failure followed another. But they did not give up - and still achieved their goal!
You can make mistakes, this is the only way to gain experience. The main thing is not to give up and try again. And don’t immediately set the bar too high for yourself, leaving no room for mistakes and imperfections. The path of development is a path of ups and downs.
Conclusion
In order for the natural development of a person to be stable and constant, we need to put ourselves in such a situation, by getting out of which we develop.
You put yourself in the ass and then get out of it.
But, if you start thinking about how to specifically get into this very ass, options don’t immediately come to your mind.
I can give you several factors that will help you and simplify the process.
Remember, your task is to unbalance YOURSELF!
Bring out your hidden emotions.
Fears.
Challenge yourself to a duel.
Provoke a conflict: with yourself, with a specific person, with society. But action alone is not enough, self-provocation is needed.
How to create emotions for yourself?
1. Publicity effect.
For example: you took a lewd photo. Cool... I sent it to my boyfriend. Already better. You wait for his reaction, your balance has already been shaken. You send it, allegedly by mistake, to a work colleague. Bam! You post it on social media for everyone to see. With each round of emotions there will be more and more emotions, because you, one way or another, are dependent on the environment, and are used to conforming to the framework. You did it, move on!
Find the boundaries of your comfort zone. And tear it to hell. Imagine that every border of the frame tickles your nervous system...
2. Violation of the norm.
By breaking, you create. At all! Have you noticed that breaking something is so cool! So much fun! Therefore, fall in love with this word - VIOLATE!
You create a new yourself. Free and strong. Do what others don't do. Specifically and consciously. Feel the discomfort with your whole body. And absorb the sacred knowledge: “no one cares about you.”
The fact that you will have an explosion of emotions inside you, for the rest of the majority, is just a moment of life that they will quickly forget. And you will be left to be shocked by your own person, who no longer blends in with the crowd.
And if you are disgusted with yourself, then you probably live, at least not as a gray particle of a gray mass!
3. Personal attitude.
Of all your friends, conduct experiments on those who are most dear to you. Who are you afraid of losing? Who hurts you. Who causes delight. Whoever you want. Whom you want, but who doesn't want you. With them, swing the amplitude of emotions.
It is these people who develop you. More precisely, you use them. Start using people. Damn morality! Life is such a thing that if you don’t use other people, they will use you. Or don't you notice it?
4. Ramp-up effect.
It's like an orgasm. I hope this sounds familiar?))
If you approach it quickly, frantically fiddling with your fingers, it will pass quickly, like a cramp.
To cover your head, you need patience... and time.
Imagine a mountain. You need to reach the very peak. If you run headlong, you will soon become exhausted and die. Any conflict or emotion tends to grow if you do not allow it to be resolved completely.
Control it. Let go not for long and hit the same point again. For the patient. Stimulate conflict if it is constructive.
I sometimes ask my most developed and advanced readers, sinners, to give me tasks, from which I develop.
Sometimes they give me such tasks. Horrible! Explosion!
I comply and hate them for these emotions. Or I love them because they give them to me. A crisis!
I worry, I do it, I get used to it! I'm changing! Personality collapse!
I look at the world with different eyes. Stabilization…
Let’s summarize: how to start developing
What success is, everyone determines for themselves. But development is what everyone should strive for so as not to degrade.
This is a continuous struggle, and first of all, with yourself, but rather with your weak qualities that prevent you from living the life of your dreams.
Everyone has a choice. You can sit and whine about what a bad boss, low salary and what a brute your husband is. Or you can tear your butt off the sofa and start doing something.
What choice are you making?
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