Self-deception is the ability of the psyche to independently suggest thoughts that do not correspond to objective reality or distort its individual elements, in other words, it is a defense mechanism of the psyche. This property of the psyche can be situational or an established form of psychological response.
Self-deception is the desire to present to one’s own perception, consciousness and memory a more attractive course of events or a series of situations, instead of what is really happening.
The concept of self-deception is widely used in humanitarian-oriented fields, depending on the scientific field of its use and acquires various nuances of interpretation.
In psychology, self-deception is more often referred to by the terms repression, denial and illusory thinking. Among the prerequisites for self-deception are a tendency to develop excessive feelings of guilt that exceed the tolerable limits of fear, lack of a sense of independence, and encounters with traumatic situations.
Why?
Because, hiding shortcomings, vices and evil deep within ourselves, we do not get rid of them. And they, in turn, will gradually kill us and our lives. So, self-deception is a conscious, purposeful action of a person in order to avoid unpleasant truths and unwanted reality. This is nothing more than instilling thoughts that do not correspond to reality.
Here are examples of self-deception
They will help to assess the degree of harm that not only the individual receives, but also the people around him. Let's say a person has symptoms of a serious illness, but he does not pay attention to them in every possible way, rejecting it, convincing himself that he is absolutely healthy until the consequences of the illness become irreversible.
Or the mistress of a married man is sure that he does not love his wife, with whom there is no intimacy, and will soon leave his family for her.
Parents who blindly love their children exaggerate their merits without seeing their shortcomings. For example, a son who studies in the ice hockey section does not lose any hope and most of the time sits on the bench; he sees him as a future world champion.
An unprepared student going to the exam is completely confident in his abilities, convinced that he has sufficient knowledge to pass the subject. As you can see, there are many examples, but the result is the same - the destruction of illusions, which entails pain, disappointment, stress, depression and even death. Thus, self-deception is an excellent means of self-defense from negativity, but sometimes it becomes uncontrollable, turning into a guiding star, a life guide, a behavioral strategy.
Why is he dangerous?
To achieve results in life, a person needs certain resources. And self-deception can have a negative impact on this factor. In this situation, the individual is able to overestimate himself, attributing missing qualities that are absent in reality.
A successful person looks at things realistically, sets feasible tasks for himself, solves them, and moves towards a big goal. While the loser sets unattainable goals and impossible opportunities. And everything happens because he is mistaken in his own abilities. If the cause is imaginary, will the expected effect occur? Of course not.
Let's understand the reasons
As mentioned above, self-deception can be to some extent a conscious strategy of behavior or an accidental moment of the situation. So, why does a person present a certain lie as truth:
- Anxiety and cowardice are the first causes of self-deception in life. This is the fear of admitting something to yourself, admitting your misdeeds and sins. Or fear of taking responsibility for something. To free yourself from them, you need to take the first important courageous step - acknowledge them.
- Low self-esteem. As a rule, such people have no inner core of life, no self-respect, and no dignity. And they have to lie about themselves, their achievements, increase them, invent good qualities, and they themselves begin to believe in this lie. A person who knows his own worth does not need self-deception.
- Fear of experiencing pain and suffering. That is why the individual simply decides that the problem does not exist. But it does not disappear anywhere, and this must be understood. If problems are not addressed, they will accumulate and sooner or later explode. It is necessary to gain strength, find solutions, and not pretend that everything is fine.
- False knowledge and faith. A person believes in something that does not exist in reality. And based on this he draws life conclusions. But he doesn’t notice what’s really happening. The individual perceives exclusively what he is trained to perceive. Unconscious self-deception will be based on ignorance and ignorance.
Ignorance is the main cause of self-deception. It is the lack of education, attachment to the old, and stereotypical thinking that prevent the assimilation of new information. It deprives the individual of critical thinking; the person is deeply convinced that he knows everything better than others. The ignoramus is the last to admit to self-deception and misfortune, but will not accept the help of others, again due to his stereotypes.
These are some reasons, there are many of them. One thing can be said: they all indicate that a person is not able to understand either himself or the surrounding reality, as a result of which he cannot develop.
Human self-deception. 13 illusions of spiritual development
Appearance of correctness
So you want to always do the right thing, so that everything is good, does not cause denial, and is accepted by others. And then the trap is triggered. A person, in pursuit of correctness and an ideal image of himself and life, begins to come up with explanations and justifications for a variety of actions, actions and words.
Sometimes this happens subconsciously, troubles and twists of the mind turn on. And sometimes a person believes so ardently in his own correctness that he doesn’t even allow the thought that it could be different. In a similar way, betrayal, deception, and any actions that destroy relationships can be justified.
Examples:
1. Maria really likes to talk about someone who is absent. Allows himself to talk about personal characteristics, discuss actions, without taking into account confidentiality and personal boundaries. At the same time, Maria justifies herself by saying that she tells all this not for the purpose of discussion, but for the purpose of example and exchange of experience, in order to learn from the mistakes of others.
But when someone asks Maria a question about her personal life, she really doesn’t like it. She sharply rebuffs, not wanting to make personal things public.
2. Ksenia Alexandrovna works in a large, bright office. She always has a lot of beautiful modern stationery at her disposal. She decides to take home office supplies that do not belong to her, justifying herself by saying that everyone does this, they bring home little by little. Anyway, there is too much of this office, no one counts or controls these little things. And everything will be useful at home, for the children at school, for the husband at work, etc.
3. Disagreements began within the friendly team. Marina didn’t like something, but instead of discussing it openly, she began to accumulate grievances, make comments, reproach and find fault out of the blue. In the end, it all ended in conflict, and Marina left the team, justifying herself by saying that no one understood, appreciated or respected her.
At the same time, “behind the backs” of her former colleagues, Marina continued discussion and criticism, trying to whitewash herself in the eyes of the new team and assert herself.
Conclusion:
Sometimes it is so difficult for a person to admit his own mistakes that he is ready to justify anything and everything in order to remain “white and fluffy” in the eyes of others.
But having crossed the line once, it is much easier to do it the second time. And then you can afford something more: meanness, theft, betrayal. Justifications are becoming more and more sophisticated, there are more and more illusions of correctness, and less and less happiness.
Exit:
In order not to fall into the traps of the illusion of correctness, we recommend observing yourself and analyzing how often you pronounce the words “correctly” and “incorrectly.” In what context are you doing this: to explain something, to justify yourself, to blame others, to evaluate actions, words and deeds? Or do you use it as encouragement and approval? Remember, explanations and justifications always lead nowhere, this is the path of illusions. Get out of it.
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