Hello, friends! Of course, you already know that our society is divided into extroverts and introverts. Want to understand the difference between them? Read carefully who an introvert is and find out his ten distinctive qualities. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in them. If these signs apply to your friend or significant other, you will begin to better understand your loved one.
After reading, you will decide whether you are an introvert, and you will know the strengths of this psychological personality type. And in what area it is better to apply them.
General characteristics of an introvert
The first description of two radically opposite types of people belongs to the famous psychologists Jung and Eysenck.
They distinguished extroverts, as people focused on the external world, and introverts, as people focused primarily on the phenomena of internal life. Therefore, to the question: who is an introvert, we answer that this is a person for whom his thoughts, fantasies, reasoning are much more important than the real events occurring in life. An extrovert (antonym for the word “Introvert” - editor’s note) is in the thick of things. He first perceives signals from reality, and then turns them into thoughts and impressions.
The peculiarity of an introvert is that for him the background of his internal state is primary and what is happening around him, he perceives not directly, but through a prism, as if looking out of a window. “At home” he is only alone with himself, with others he is always “away”. And when visiting, we are always tense, we monitor our words, actions, and other people’s reactions, and this tires us.
Extroverts like to experience more, introverts like to know more about what they are experiencing. Marty Olsen Laney. The Invincible Introvert
What is introversion in psychology?
The official definition is that introversion is an inward movement, from the Latin word intro. The exact opposite is called extraversion. Introverts are in the study of their own inner world, they are always immersed in it. Extroverts, on the contrary, are in constant search for answers to their questions from the outside; they study the external world, devoting less time to their own universe. Carl Gustav Jung began to use the division into psychotypes. It was he who introduced these concepts into scientific psychology.
Carl Gustav Jung
His follower was Hans Eysenck, who also contributed to the development of psychology as a science.
Hans Eysenck
Introversion in psychology is, in the popular sense, isolation of oneself from society. For some reason, introverts are deprived of the opportunity to satisfy their needs with the help of the outside world; they find resources within themselves.
Introversion implies problems with communication. In the process of their formation and growth, extroverts have learned to interact more successfully with the people around them and, in simple terms, they have an easier life among people.
Literally, a special “organ” in our brain is responsible for this. The so-called reticular formation. It is she who is responsible for stimulating (irritating) the cerebral cortex. In some people, this physiological formation is better developed from birth than in others. They are the ones who become introverts. We can say that all the processes necessary for awareness occur inside the head, and such people do not need to communicate with someone in order to develop successfully.
In extroverts, this “organ” is less developed and works differently. In this case, external stimuli are needed to stimulate brain activity. Gradually, a growing child develops the habit of receiving them from the outside, from other people. They need communication to stimulate the cortex, therefore, to become aware of themselves and the world around them. They require closer and continuous contact with the outside world and society.
These physiological characteristics do not in any way affect the size of intelligence and are within normal limits. These are just our individual characteristics. In addition to introverts and extroverts, there is a third type - ambiverts. It is generally accepted that such people are the majority and their reticular formation develops according to a given pattern, while the other two types of people deviate slightly from the given development in one direction or another.
Introvert - character traits
- Communication is not spontaneous, but always has a clear, defined goal, even if it is not visible from the outside. You always feel tension with an introvert, even if the person seems open and emotional to you.
- They can live painlessly for a long time without company.
- They clearly maintain the boundaries of their personality. It manifests itself in immediate transactions of the interlocutor returning to the starting position, increased sensitivity and temper.
- They think through their actions carefully.
- Secondary type of reaction to an event: they “chew” an unpleasant situation for a long time, constantly returning their thoughts to it.
- Developed fantasy and imagination.
- Observation, penchant for analysis.
- Patience.
- Control over emotions.
- Determination.
Professions that suit your psychotype
What job is best for an introvert:
jeweler, blacksmith, carpenter, carpenter, seamstress, sculptor, restorer, artist, designer, poet, writer, screenwriter, copywriter, proofreader, musician, composer, video editor, photo editor, sound engineer, programmer, 3D visualizer, design engineer, engineer designer, scientist, researcher, truck driver, librarian, archivist, economic analyst, accountant, forester, zoologist, geologist.
You may also be interested in:
Main features
An introvert is closer to loneliness
This concept was first discovered by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. In a general way, he defined an introvert as a person with interests aimed at external objects of the surrounding world.
Introvert in life
An introvert loves a secluded lifestyle, solitary behavior, in which he feels great.
According to many people with this personality type, they often feel ashamed of who they are, often wanting to become someone else. It is difficult for such people to explain their position, choosing the right words. And in particular, it is more difficult to believe that inherent traits remain a part of yourself when those around you have a different understanding and view of the world. In a word, an introvert is unlikely to be understood by someone who is not one.
These characteristics and characteristics are more characteristic of stable introverts. Stable introverts include phlegmatic people. Phlegmatic is a strong, sedentary type of temperament. Outwardly, these people are difficult to distinguish from extroverts. They can be quite sociable, easily make contact, cheerful, and their speech is distinguished by subtle humor.
You can understand that you are an introvert only by strictly maintaining a distance (you constantly feel a line that cannot be crossed) and by your reaction to stress. Under stress, stable introverts turn silent. They “digest” the problem within themselves and need peace. It's quite difficult for loved ones.
Introvert - features of upbringing in childhood
Introvert in childhood
The character traits of an introvert depend on upbringing and self-esteem. Extroverted parents try to make their child their own. They consider natural isolation, shyness, and a tendency to think for a long time about their actions and deeds as character flaws.
Children try to meet requirements, try to “correct themselves,” behave against their nature and thereby exhaust the nervous system. Low self-esteem, self-doubt and a negative self-image are formed. Throughout their lives, improperly raised introverts may consider themselves “freaks” because they do not have access to the ease of communication of extroverts and they will never be able to become like their parents with a different personality type.
An introvert’s personality will only be harmonious when he:
- We accept our parents and loved ones with all the peculiarities and cockroaches.
- It is brought up not by the “break” method, but by the method of pre-development of missing character traits. He learns to communicate, make contact, and competently protect his borders.
- Has opportunities to restore energy: his own room, personal time and space for reflection and solitude.
They are among us!
Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. In fact, these people are very different from each other.
In the US it is often said that spotting an introvert can be more difficult than finding a needle in a haystack. This phrase comes from the author of the book “The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World.” All that remains is to recommend reading this book.
Many representatives of this psychotype can sometimes easily be mistaken for extroverts. Since the character traits of introverts can be very different.
There are a number of difficulties in this matter. People often don't know they're an introvert—especially if they're not shy—because they may not realize that being one involves more than just spending time alone. Instead, it would be worth paying attention to whether they lose or gain energy when being around others, even if they enjoy the company of friends.
Introversion is a core temperament and a social aspect that people focus on. This is very important to always take into account. Despite the growing public debate about introversion, the trait remains misunderstood. Back in 2010, the American Psychiatric Association included introversion as a mental disorder, listing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), used to diagnose mental illness. Less than a decade has passed since then, and now it is already considered some kind of savagery, barbarism. Now all people already know what “introvert” means, and understand that this is just one of the options for the norm. And there are many more of these people than meets the eye.
Introvert in relationships
Marriages of mutual introverts are very strong
Psychologists dream: if only all married couples were made up of extroverted men and introverted women, a worldwide idyll would ensue. A strong, authoritative husband and a soft, submissive wife are the recipe for conflict-free family happiness. It becomes unclear what to do with introverted men and extroverted women?
It's unclear and unnecessary. Because family happiness and healthy relationships are influenced by completely different parameters than introversion or extroversion. An extroverted woman may try to take power into her own hands, but an introverted man will find his own ways of influencing his active spouse. Silence is a simple and effective method that will drive any extrovert crazy.
Two introverts in a family will understand each other and will be able to agree on a reasonable distribution of responsibilities. But only if they understand and recognize their characteristics.
Not a sentence
But if you're hoping to become more outgoing, the good news is that there is definitely a personality type called the outgoing or "extroverted" introvert. And there are many of them. Other introverts can learn and gain social skills from these more outgoing types. There are many charming introverts among the top stars, such as Lady Gaga, Audrey Hepburn and Johnny Depp. All the same, we all live in society, and ambitious people in any case have to socialize, even if they are unsociable from birth. Life teaches introverts how to use their personality traits.
Jobs for introverts
The main thing for an introvert is to choose the right profession.
Working with introverts is not easy. They are perfectionists, workaholics and demand the same from others. As managers, they are very strict. When it comes to working in a team, introverts prefer (and even choose) a team with a small number of colleagues. Small groups allow you to feel “like a fish in water,” which will definitely affect the result. In carrying out their duties, introverts try to remain responsible until the end.
Deep introverts prefer working from home. Emotionally unstable introverts are good at creative professions. The advantage of this type is involvement in one's business and responsibility.
What kind of job is suitable for such people?
Choosing a profession is, in principle, very difficult. And when you need to adapt to your psychological personality type, complete confusion sets in.
As I said above, introverts get very tired from too much interaction with people. But they are extremely collected and responsible, distinguished by logical thinking. With such skills, it is not difficult to choose a profession to your liking, which will not tire you and bring you pleasure.
- work from home;
- copywriting, writing activities;
- working with databases;
- accounting;
- analytics;
- design;
- IT sphere;
- laboratory;
- the science;
- creation.
These areas to some extent provide an opportunity to demonstrate inner qualities. Some of the above require extreme concentration, while others allow you to work in a calm, familiar and comfortable environment. If you noticed, all of the above has practically nothing to do with people. An introvert will not need to force himself to constantly communicate with unfamiliar clients. He will do his job without any stress.
Types of introverts
Logical-Intuitive introvert (Robespierre)
- Has a strong analytical mind.
- Capable of developing new revolutionary methods.
- Loves solitude and quiet office work.
- Unpretentious and ascetic.
- Doesn't take care of himself.
- Feels calm in a place well protected from prying eyes.
Logical-Sensory Introvert
Finds his holy grail among thousands of others.
This type of introvert defines a goal for himself, analyzes known methods, ways to achieve the goal, and unerringly chooses the best one.
He hones the chosen method of achieving the goal to perfection and achieves success. It is a priori impossible to lead him off this path.
Logic-intuitive-rational
- lives according to a schedule. He has complete order everywhere: in life, at work, in relationships and on the shelf in the bathroom. The only trouble that can throw a rational person out of balance is the appearance of free time. He takes into account human sloppiness, but if the trolleybus arrived 5 minutes earlier, where should those extra five minutes go? The material world rests on logic. Rationals respect only facts; they calculate, calculate and build everything.
Irrational-Logic-Intuit
– this is a person for whom the words “order” and “punctuality” turn into a complete nightmare. He doesn’t like chaos either, but he can’t do anything about the chaos in his life and around him. Irrational is pure energy and emotion. Plans are always impossible for him. If the irrational fulfilled the plan by 60%, this is the best result of all possible. The mission of irrationals is to generate ideas. They do not accept rules and therefore easily go beyond the boundaries. Everything new in the world comes from irrationals.
Emotionally unstable introvert
These are people with obvious signs of maladjustment in society.
They experience unbalanced emotions, low self-esteem, timidity, self-doubt, and hysteria. An introvert is a person who, in a minute, can imagine an unpleasant situation and its catastrophic consequences. To the real state of affairs, he adds fantastic details that enhance the negative connotation of the event, and does not realize that these are just probabilities.
Introverted girl: what is she like?
Belonging to the weaker sex greatly complicates the life of an introvert.
An introverted woman is forced to engage in a huge number of interactions. The female social role of mother and wife itself does not imply seclusion. The child must be taken to the clinic, playground, kindergarten or school. This depletes mental strength and requires additional recovery time.
Unstable introverts are people with extraordinary charm
A high level of emotionality, subtle sensitivity to detail, observation and a sharp mind help them literally get under the skin of other people.
But they are not able to follow the entire huge body of social rules. Partly due to the fact that they simply do not understand them or because they are not capable of a quick reaction and instant analysis of the situation. They are considered lovable psychos. Among unstable introverts there are many famous actors and simply bright personalities. On the one hand, they need peace and care, on the other, they crave recognition and approval. Unstable introverts are capable of antisocial shocking behavior. The famous trick of Marilyn Monroe, when she congratulated President Kennedy on his birthday almost topless, is just from this series.
Features of an unstable introvert
According to Eysenck's concept, an emotionally unstable introvert is a melancholic person.
To the previous characteristics for this personality type should be added:
- High sensitivity to negative stimuli.
- Suspiciousness, tendency to negative forecasting, dramatization of events.
- Self-doubt, low self-esteem, timidity.
- “Blurring” of personality boundaries.
- They do not tolerate prolonged loneliness well and are dependent on social contacts.
- Fatigue, nervous system rigidity.
- Stiffness.
- Bad or inappropriate jokes.
- Emotions are poorly controlled.
All types of temperament are considered innate, but some psychologists express an opinion about the artificial origin of the melancholic temperament. There is a hypothesis that a weak type of nervous system is formed as a result of improper upbringing and psychotraumatization in early and teenage years.
A stable introvert in an extroverted world is lucky and successful
Friedrich Nietzsche is an introvert.
He does not waste time on trifles, does not give in to momentary emotions, and steadily follows his goal. It can be compared to a boa constrictor. If the boa constrictor’s “thermal imager” has detected and selected a victim, nothing can save it. It is impossible to interrupt the path of a stable socialized introvert to his intended goal. “I see the goal, I don’t see the obstacles” - that’s about them.
Extroverts retreat and give up after a few unsuccessful attempts. They can be overcome by emotions of despair and disappointment. It is difficult for them to get out from under the rubble of broken hopes. An introvert will simply analyze the mistakes and move on. This is its undeniable advantage.
Introverted - what is it? 13 Signs You're a Researchable Personality Type
Each person is unique, but each psychological type has some common characteristics that are quite telling. Here are 13 signs that you may be an introvert:
- You enjoy spending time alone. Most introverts enjoy moderate socializing, but all enjoy solitude even more. If being alone makes you feel energized, peaceful, and rested, you're probably an introvert.
- Some types of communication drain you. It is possible that not all social interactions affect you the same. But with new people, large crowds, or noisy environments, you're likely to get tired quickly.
- You work better alone. Introverts rarely work well in teams. The more solitude you have, the more likely you are to focus and get more work done. You may feel more inspired, focused, or productive, or you may simply get more done in less time. This doesn't mean you can't work in teams, but you like to make important decisions in peace and quiet, away from others. When asked about what an introvert is, Wikipedia produces information that doesn’t even touch on this important aspect.
- You'd rather hang out with a few close friends than a large group of people. It's a myth that introverts don't like to socialize. Sitting with a few close friends, you can enjoy conversation all night long, and you may even "appear" to be an extrovert. For some reason, these types of interactions don't drain you as much as others do. But once you get into a party or a large group, you realize that it's only a matter of time before you feel tired.
- You have a bright, rich inner world. You may spend a lot of time thinking and even daydreaming. Or you can simply think before you act. Not every introvert is a dreamer or visionary, but almost everyone has an entire inner world that they find just as comfortable as the outer world.
- You are often on your own. Sometimes you are accused of being unfocused and trolled along the way by colleagues who act faster with less planning. You may even be told to "don't have your head in the clouds" - or you may simply want to stay focused during conversations and suppress your own thoughts. It's not that what's happening around you isn't interesting. It’s just that what you think or dream about is even more interesting!
- You prefer to stay away from the spotlight. There are exceptions to this, but many introverts prefer not to speak in large groups or groups. They are more likely to pass on leading roles to someone else, such as extroverted friends. Of course, many introverts are creatives and performers, and some even love to get on stage. Others are business leaders who speak in front of teams or audiences all the time. Introverts are capable of learning and mastering these skills, but still, if you tend to avoid participating in group interactions, you may be an introvert.
- You may have social interactions with other people, but you feel like you are faking it and just fitting in. If you hate small talk and also hate talking to strangers, then socializing in large groups is the least comfortable and fun thing you can do. And this is exactly what most introverts think. That doesn't mean you can't do it when it's necessary for work or business, but if you're given the choice, you'll be planning your next big company "vacation" for sometime in 2089, at the earliest.
- You don't always know what to say. Instead, you usually find that you only find the right answer after the conversation is over. This is fine.
- You express your thoughts better in writing than orally. You don't have to be a natural writer, but if writing something is more comfortable than saying it in person, it's a clear sign that you're an introvert. Introverts take time to think about what they want to say, and although this can really disrupt communication, it will allow these closed people to express themselves better.
- You become deeply immersed in a subject of interest—both your relationships with other people and your hobbies. What exactly do you do alone? For you, this time is reserved for self-reflection, of course! You can spend it thinking about your life, the people you love, your career, or the “big questions” of life. Or you can spend it reading, researching, or creating art.
- You look for meaning in everything. If you are the type of person who thinks deeply about your world, then it is difficult for you to decide to engage in petty relationships, spend your energy on small goals or superficial conversation. If you seek meaning in your work and relationships and prefer meaningful conversation rather than small talk, this may be a sign that you are an introvert. According to Wiki, introverts generally do not like to communicate, even about interesting topics.
- You feel out of place in an “extroverted” society. Extroverts often don't notice it, but our society expects people to be talkative, outgoing, and quick, all in order to talk. Talk almost all the time. Have you always felt out of place, or even wondered if there was something wrong with you because you weren't more outgoing? As sociable as all your peers? This single factor may be the biggest sign that you are an introvert.
These are just some of the signs of belonging to this personality type, and not everyone will meet all of these signs. But if you—or someone you love—meets most of them, that's a pretty strong sign. Want even more? Below you will find many signs of a latent introvert!
Is it difficult for an introvert to be himself?
You often hear a series of seemingly harmless questions: “Why don’t you want to go to the party?”
or “Why do you look so unhappy?” But sometimes it is very difficult to give an answer. However, this does not mean that introverts cannot have fun or have fun in the middle of a crowd. They just want to do it around the right crowd, the right people who are like them, and most often in a quieter environment.
If you're an introvert, don't take the missed opportunity to be the center of attention personally. And remember a few simple things that distinguish a true introvert (see below).
Ambivert
This article discussed the concepts of extroverts and introverts. However, there is a golden mean, which means a person who combines all the qualities of both an introvert and an extrovert. In this case we are talking about an ambivert. As a rule, such people can feel great both completely alone and in noisy companies. They quite often change their surrounding conditions.
For real ambiverts, communication in a company is allowed, provided that it is short-lived. If such a person frequently meets with his acquaintances and friends, this may cause him stress.
Such individuals pay special attention to self-education. In addition, prolonged loneliness can have a negative impact on the morale of an ambivert. This often leads to depression and dissatisfaction. There are several fundamental differences that define an ambivert. The main distinguishing feature is the ability for an ambivert to easily transition to another state.
This is not to say that ambiverts are some kind of “ringleaders”. However, they can easily take part in various activities.
People who are surrounded by such individuals describe their tastes, preferences, wishes and character traits in different ways. An ambivert can be active or remain passive, depending on his condition and occupation.
Enjoyment of solitude, hostility of crowds
Yes, introverts love to spend time with themselves
. It is a proven fact that they get the maximum benefit from it. This gives you a chance to gather your thoughts and strength. Such solitude allows you to focus on things that introverts would like to do - for example, read, evaluate the past day in order to draw conclusions for the future. As a rule, introverts use their free time everywhere, but more often they need quiet places for privacy.
Large crowds of people make introverts feel tired. They cannot be surrounded by a crowd for long.
Even when they attend concerts, parades or other social events, they do not look far ahead, so as not to feel like they are in the center. Over a long period of time it becomes unbearable. Introverts have to suppress their emotions, and often such people want to scream or cover their ears. Of course, the rules of behavior do not allow this; the introvert will try to quickly retire to a calmer place.
An introvert is a person who, in a few minutes, can build a logical chain of illusions in his head and become depressed because of it.
Neglect of one's own appearance
The first thing that catches your eye is the appearance of an introvert. People of this type of character do not care about social principles. External signs of an introvert are neat clothes that emphasize the figure and express the inner world. Introverted individuals do not follow fashion trends. They believe that appearance plays a small role in the formation of personality; the inner world is more important for such persons. Introverts dress neatly, but sometimes tastelessly. They don't care much about what people say. An introverted girl can wear a chiffon dress in winter or dress up in wool on a cool summer evening.
Practicality is the motto of people who are focused on their external world. Comfort and simplicity is a style that accompanies an introvert all his life. The same can be said for hair and makeup as for clothing. Introverts don’t understand why making themselves more beautiful with cosmetics. The hairstyle should be simple and convenient, so that the hair does not get in the way, and so that it does not have to be constantly straightened.
Love for others
Despite their behavior, which is atypical for many, introverts have warm feelings for those around them.
It seems that they are cold, and therefore do not perceive the warm energy of their interlocutor. Be patient. Give these people some time to get used to you. For the most part, they want to get to know you better and enjoy your company, even if they don't show it openly. Introverts are big fans of getting to the bottom of the truth. They are ready to look for meaning in the most insignificant little things, sometimes thereby causing irritation. If someone treats the problem more superficially, then such introverts will find their own reason for everything.
At the same time, they prefer to be surrounded by fewer people whom they have already studied on a deep level. In other words, every new acquaintance entails a lot of analysis. For this reason, introverts make friends in small groups, knowing everything there is to know about each other.
Excellent listeners, introverts draw information from the interlocutor if he is willing to open up. This is seen as an additional chance to get to know a new person. As a rule, they are ready to get really carried away by it. And they often get irritated by little things, if these little things prevent them from devoting full attention to their interlocutor.
Tests to find out your psychotype
I found 3 tests for you:
- Determination of character type according to Jung. Answer 20 questions, where you choose one of two options. If your scores are in the middle, and this is 35–65 points, then you still fall into 35% of people with traits of extroversion and introversion.
- Test to determine Eysenck's temperament type. This test has 60 questions that will help you determine your temperament type, extroversion or introversion. Travel time is approximately 5 minutes.
- Test “Who are you: extrovert, ambivert or introvert.” You need to answer 8 questions. I took this test and found out that I am an ambivert. A very convenient and quick test, a kind of express diagnostics.
Introverts are connoisseurs of beauty
Introverts have a sense of taste.
They know how to have fun and are not boring at all! They just want to save emotions for the right people or events that, albeit rarely, happen in their lives. They are capable of silly things, blessed with creativity, and can be loud. Show up at karaoke and sing a song in front of everyone? No problem! But, of course, you can get more pleasure from reading your favorite book. The character of an introvert always remains a conscious thing for him. They understand what niche they occupy in society, sometimes dreaming of becoming extroverts - more relaxed, free, simple. Often indulging in thought, they imagine how they will find themselves in a large group of people, what they will do, how they will behave. It’s not difficult to fantasize in your head, but putting your plans into practice is not easy. And yet, daydreaming about how to become an extrovert is acceptable.
If you invite an introvert to a party, don't expect him to have fun. A huge number of people is not a pleasure for them. Even when there is a really good atmosphere around, the feeling of discomfort will not go away. This does not mean that such people are not interesting or do not know how to relax. It is quite difficult to remain yourself in front of a large crowd of people.
For an introvert, it is important not only to live calmly during the day, but also at night. Many people like to stay from Friday without leaving the city. You can go to a meeting with friends or even a party, but it would be foolish not to take advantage of the opportunity to be in silence. When you live in a city, it's hard to escape the crowds and noise. Therefore, the best way would be a good book or an interesting film.
Because of this, the reluctance to be in the spotlight is quite understandable. Introverts don't like public speaking when hundreds of eyes are on them. Difficulties also arise at work when you have to speak at a meeting or answer in the presence of others. It’s more pleasant to become a listener and hear someone else’s point of view. But this does not mean at all that there is no opinion.
How can an introvert change his personality traits and become an extrovert?
First you need to answer the question: “Do I need to become an extrovert?” After all, the opposite type has many disadvantages that we mentioned. If a person is comfortable with an introverted existence, then there is no need to change anything.
When introversion has become a problem and a person has literally withdrawn into his experiences, you can work on the skills of an extrovert. It is problematic to do this on your own, since changing types is subject to adjustment with great difficulty. It's better to see a psychologist.
You can help yourself if you start listening more to what other people say. Try to overcome the desire to delve into yourself, look at the world around you, notice everything interesting and useful in it.
Don't hide your emotions, express them outside. If you are angry - show it, if you are happy - dance or sing. Discuss your feelings with people. Don't be afraid to look on the bad side. By and large, we are all similar to each other and experience the same emotions.
Go out into public, attend public events. Don't be shy about people, meet people, communicate more. You come to an exhibition - discuss new paintings with a random visitor, work out in the gym - ask your neighbor how he achieved such outstanding results.
Over time, extroverted skills will become a habit, and you will not feel awkward or displeased from communication.
Tell about yourself, learn about others
Who doesn't like to brag about their achievements?
Talking about success is inherent in human behavior. Introverts tend to get to know their interlocutor to the extent that this will allow them to talk about themselves in the future. Well-read and literate, they can support the conversation with valuable advice. At the same time, they are afraid if they are considered too talkative, so they always maintain balance. People who want a sincere relationship. In life you have to deal with lies and betrayal, and feel broken. Loving an introvert means being honest with him from day one. In turn, they will not open up right away, first “testing the waters,” that is, getting to know you. This may take some time, so be patient. You will be rewarded later - communicating with introverts will bring you pleasure.
There are no “pure” psychotypes
No two introverts are alike. What is true for one may be completely wrong for another. Every introvert has a different level of tolerance for socialization and other activities.
First of all, there is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person, if he existed, would be in a madhouse, as the famous psychotherapist Carl Gustav Jung once wittily remarked. Introversion and extroversion are on a spectrum, meaning they are not all-or-nothing traits. These are simply two extremes, two opposite directions of orientation of our psyche.
Attention to detail and the interlocutor
“Can we shut up already?”
A person can be so busy with everyday activities that many things pass him by. An introvert is less likely to miss minor details. And if the problem has been solved or solved in another way, they are ready to offer an alternative option. Moreover, they rarely dare to say this out loud, but they always keep the options in mind. Studies of this type of people show that they can be good leaders.
When communicating with a person, an introvert will try to understand him as much as possible. Even if the point of view turns out to be the opposite, he will make every effort to look at the picture from a different perspective. And it will almost never make your interlocutor feel inferior or guilty - before judging, you will have to thoroughly analyze all the pros and cons.
People often assume that introversion and shyness are necessary allies. And although there is a lot in common between the concepts, this is far from true. An introvert is not afraid to meet people, he does it in his own way.
But if a partner has a high level of energy, he has every chance of tiring his interlocutor. It is important to constantly feel the balance in which both people are. If the first one tends not to feel tired, then the second one will need a short break. The best option is to interrupt communication for a while.
How difficult is it for a person to take a step forward? Yes, there are people who rush into battle without thinking about the consequences. An introvert will always weigh all potential outcomes before making a decision.
Sometimes this process is delayed so much that the need to make a choice disappears. The only wish in this situation would be to analyze as little as possible, although this is problematic.
This is the norm!
It's completely normal to be an introvert. Even though your peers, teachers, and even parents may have told you otherwise, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you—and it's not that uncommon. Research shows that between 30 and 50 percent of the world's population are introverts. This is every second or third person you know!
Result? Even if you're not an introvert yourself, you probably work with, are married to, or are friends with an introvert. Most people know more people of this type than they realize. An introvert is a very common type.
How to find common ground with an introvert?
Just be kind and respect the inherent need for this type of person to be alone.
Not only extroverts, but also other introverts sometimes feel awkward around quiet and vulnerable introverted individuals. They are probably worried about the question: “Is it really necessary to constantly restrain yourself so as not to offend this person?” We all want to be relaxed and natural, but relationships flow more smoothly if we take each other's needs and interests into account.
The following suggestions from The Happy Introvert are for people of all personality types who have to deal with introverts:
Finding a common language with an introvert
- If you want to talk, ask if this is a good time to talk, instead of assuming it's a given.
- Often, without clarifying questions, it is impossible to determine whether an introvert is preoccupied with something, is simply lost in thought, or wants to be left alone.
- Help the introvert relax and feel safe, and show interest in their worldview.
- Be gentle with an introvert—loud voices and dramatic expressions of emotion can frighten them. He will accept your point of view faster if you do not put pressure or force him to choose, but convey it persistently but tactfully.
- If the problem is making contact, come up with a creative solution. One option was offered by Dr. Elaine Chernova, an extrovert by nature: “I considered a patient named Bob to be a passive-aggressive introvert, since I had to wait a long time for an answer while he looked around and thought about something, as if not noticing me. Realizing that he wasn't trying to get on my nerves, I started doing other things, forcing him to follow me. He pondered the question for some time and finally came up with an answer. This method of communication suited both of us.”
- When an introvert wants to be left alone, remember that his nature requires this and he is not trying to get rid of you. For example, let's take the famous actor Anthony Hopkins. Being an introvert, nevertheless, sometimes he can be very sociable, but he prefers to do his favorite things that are not related to acting (playing the piano, composing music and traveling by car) without the company of other people. In one interview, he said: “I usually have enough company with myself.”
“One is a company, two are already a crowd.” The replica belongs to the hero of Oscar Levant in the film “An American in Paris”
- Respect the wishes of people close to you with an introverted personality if they want to be alone in difficult moments of life. According to Anthony Storr: “In a culture that believes that interpersonal relationships are the best remedy for all suffering, it is sometimes difficult to convince well-intentioned helpers that not only emotional support, but solitude is also therapeutic.”
- If you're feeling frustrated that your introverted friend isn't responding emotionally enough to something, try paying more attention to the words, rather than how they're said. Multiply his every expression of emotion by ten.
- Pay attention to nonverbal signs of affection. Sometimes it is easier for introverts to express their feelings not in words, but in writing or through some kind of action.
- If one of your introverted friends or relatives withdraws and watches from the sidelines alone, don't think that they are unhappy.
- Invite your introvert to join in the fun, but don't pressure him.
- Be careful with the adjectives you use for introverts: perhaps instead of the adjective “passive”, it is better to use the words “shy” and “delicate”. It is also possible that they are not introverted, but that their main interests are not always related to other people. And, most likely, they are not selfish or narcissistic, but simply love to live in their inner world.
- Let your introvert know that you value them as a person.
- Remember that neurological differences are at the root of the misunderstanding between introverts and extroverts. Introverts' minds, by nature, are constantly occupied with something (this property is called internal wakefulness), so they sometimes find themselves unable to respond to sensory stimuli. An extrovert is seized with unpleasant anxiety at the slightest irritation, so they are constantly looking for action.
- Since extroversion is generally celebrated in our society, spend some time praising the positive qualities of introverted behavior.
Similarities and differences
Of course, not all introverts are the same. Some people only need a little time to recharge and can spend a fair amount of time socializing before feeling drained. Others become exhausted quickly and prefer to spend very long periods alone. This is different for each person, and many i-verts fall somewhere in the middle. For example, there are characteristic features of introverts.
However, sooner or later they all experience the dreaded “introvert hangover.” It represents a feeling of complete exhaustion from too much “human attention.” This may include feeling tired, unable to concentrate, or even grouchy (which is more common in introverted men). It's as if your brain has used up all its mental energy and simply has nothing left. And, in fact, this is exactly what happens in such situations.
By the way, this trait is suppressed to a greater extent in men, since a representative of the stronger sex, according to entrenched gender stereotypes, must be open, active and strong-willed. The characteristics of introverted girls, such as meekness, modesty, shyness and passivity, on the contrary, have been cultivated since ancient times as an exemplary standard of female character. These qualities characterize the ideal young lady.
Pros and cons of introverts
Positive qualities of an introvert
- True to your word.
- Determination.
- Consistency.
- The ability to control your emotional state.
- Persistence in achieving goals.
- Perfectionism.
- Thinking ability and strong analytical skills.
- Attention to nuances and details.
Weaknesses of an introvert
- Inflexibility of character. They find it difficult to compromise and do not accept another point of view.
- Mental rigidity.
- Dwelling on negative emotions.
- Poor ability to relax, which can lead to depletion of the nervous system and physical resources of the body.
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WikiHelp: Rigidity - rigidity, hardness, elasticity, inelasticity. In psychology, unpreparedness to change the program of action in accordance with new situational requirements.
Have their own idea of what is right
The signs of an introverted teenager are the same as those of an adult. Closed people will never put up with injustice. People will divide the world only into black and white. Due to the fact that introverts are very organized and pedantic, they will demand a similar attitude from others. Closed individuals are firmly convinced that they are right and can often come into conflict with those who stand in their way. If a teenager wants to test his strength and jump with a parachute, parents will not be able to stop their child. The same goes for something more personal. For example, if an introverted teenager wants to get a tattoo, he will find money and an opportunity to express himself in an unusual way. Parents' permission in this situation will not play any role.
Famous people are introverts (photos, list)
Among the most pronounced introverts are such famous people as (pictured above from left to right):
- Abraham Lincoln
- Bill Gates
- Christina Aguilera
- Steven Spielberg
- Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol
- Marina Ivanovna Tsvetaeva
- Victor Tsoi
- Sergei Sergeevich Bodrov
Below, see a more extensive list of famous and famous people who are introverts.
Great people are introverts (list)
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- Alfred Hitchcock
- Arthur Schopenhauer
- Howard Phillips Lovecraft
- J. K. Rowling
- Jerome David Salinger
- Johnny Depp
- George Lucas
- Isaac Newton
- Clint Eastwood
- Kurt Cobain
- Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
- Lionel Messi
- Louis De Funes
- Marcel Proust
- Mick Mars
- Audrey Hepburn
- Robert DeNiro
- Rosa Parks
- Søren Kierkjegaard
- Steve Wozniak
- Tim Burton
- Philip Kindred Dick
- Franz Kafka
- Frederic Chopin
- Friedrich Nietzsche
- Edgar Allan Poe
- Igor Yakovlevich Krutoy
- Alexander Ivanovich Pokryshkin
- Georgy Mikhailovich Vitsin
- Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin
- Konstantin Arkadyevich Raikin
- Mikhail Yurjevich Lermontov
- Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky
- Yuri Nikolaevich Klinskikh (Gaza Strip)
Ability to plan everything
Do you know a person who lives according to a plan and knows exactly what he will do tomorrow? This person is 90% likely to be an introvert. If you ask a reserved person what the main signs of an introvert she can name, then organization will definitely be one of the first. Despite their unsociability, introverts always come to the appointed place and at the appointed time. Introverted people are not late and do not like it when people are late for a meeting.
Introverts have complete order at home. Everything is on the shelves. Dust and dirt are impossible to find. A good time planning system gives a person the opportunity to pay attention to both household affairs and personal hobbies. The entire life of an introvert is planned by him personally. A person knows exactly what he wants and knows how to achieve the desired result.
Desire to be alone
The main sign of an introvert is a person’s desire to be in his own company. A person who is closed in his own world does not need strangers. A person can obtain information from the outside from the Internet and from books. The person’s communication is limited to two or three best friends and parents. An introvert doesn't need more. He is quite comfortable sitting at home, watching movies, listening to music and reading.
Also, introverted people often like to be creative. They are good at drawing or playing musical instruments. But due to modesty and perfectionism, people rarely share the results of their creativity with others. Only friends can watch or listen to the creations of introverts. Introverted creative people do not strive for fame. They work for art and their pleasure. They do not need any rewards for their activities. Solitude and peace are the dream of any introvert, which every year becomes less and less realizable.
