Personal self-destruction is ideas, emotions and behavioral patterns of a destructive nature directed at oneself. The self-destructive pattern can manifest itself in a variety of formats, including physical self-harm such as suicide attempts, chemical addictions, and eating disorders; in some cases of choosing extreme sports, risky sexual behavior, choosing high-risk work; behavior that provokes danger, active self-blame and self-humiliation.
In psychology, when talking about self-destruction, they use the term “auto-aggression” (auto-destruction) - auto- and aggression mean turning against oneself, in English - “turning against the self”. In the classification of psychological defense, it refers to secondary defenses, when negative affect is redirected from an external object to oneself, due to the undesirability of external manifestation.
When analyzing the correlation between scales of types of aggression using valid methods, self-destruction does not correlate with other scales, which distinguishes the phenomenon from other features of aggression in personal psychology. Among personality types, it is most characteristic of depressive and masochistic individuals according to the McWilliams classification.
The desire for self-destruction is divided into various classifications:
– by area of influence – physical, mental, social;
– according to the characteristics of the structure – ideational (idea, thoughts);
– affective (emotional experiences), behavioral;
– direct, indirect, transgressive (transitional), extended;
– conscious, unconscious;
– according to dynamics – acute, chronic (sluggish);
– transient, relapse, persistent (persistent, constant), transforming, stable, progressive, regressing, etc.
The variety of classifications is explained by the ambiguity and broadness of the manifestation of the phenomenon.
Definition of concept and types
What is self-destruction? This is a state when destructive thoughts negatively affect the perception of the world. During self-destruction, negative thoughts, emotions or actions can threaten a person’s life and mental health.
Aggression is not always evil. Aggression is inherent in nature. It serves to throw out negativity. In the animal world, aggression is always directed at someone, but in the human world, the most terrible aggression is directed inside one’s own consciousness. This is where the desire for self-destruction comes from
There are 5 main types of self-destruction:
- Control over everyone. People who are convinced that they know the only right solution and way out of any situation. They strive to control everyone, although in reality they are dependent on others.
- Please everyone around you. This is the only way a person feels his importance in society, the only way he understands that he can be useful. It is difficult for him to understand what he himself wants.
- Endless torment. The “ideal” program of self-destruction in a person. He is convinced that life is pain. If there are no problems, they urgently need to be created, and then look for a way out. Only this model of behavior is acceptable; in complete calm, discomfort sets in.
- Workaholics. Work comes first, and a lot of work is even better. These people feel irritated towards people who are having fun and are not busy dealing with work issues from morning until late at night.
- Perfectionists. They take on only those tasks in which they are confident. They do not forgive themselves for mistakes and mistakes, so they may seem lazy, because they can handle only small tasks. They get annoyed if someone is not as perfectionist as they are.
Self-destruction of man. Conclusion
Thus, using the example of Dima’s life, we clearly see how a person falls on the rails of the program and begins to roll along them.
Faced with the fears and doubts of mom and dad, Dima, the embryo, takes them on and, when born, perceives many life events through the prism of parental attitudes. In our case it is: “Life is difficult and difficult. I can’t, I can’t handle it.”
Therefore, any difficulties and difficulties give rise to fear that nothing will work out and doubts whether I can cope. And any reaction from others causes resentment and a feeling of injustice and rejection.
Parental fear has long been forgotten and hidden in the subconscious. The attitude was prescribed by reactions to what was happening - resentment, doubts and self-doubt. Behavior is formed - running away from complexities and difficulties into something easier and simpler.
At first it was ordinary toys, then a console, then a virtual world. Any difficulties and problems include the desire to run away and hide from difficulties. Therefore, Dima chooses life according to the principle of least resistance and avoiding problems.
But everything could have been different. Dima found reading and other humanities easy. If in the 8th grade he had really set himself the goal of learning to speak beautifully and prove his opinion, then he would have enrolled in public speaking and rhetoric courses or acting courses, which would have allowed him to become more confident and free, to competently express his thoughts in to the public.
Dima has good written language, combined with oral and a love for the virtual world, he could become a good copywriter, author of articles, maintain a personal blog and even become a writer. But what happened happened. The program turned out to be stronger than my abilities and talents.
Exiting the self-destructive program
You can leave the program at any time at any age. Even as an embryo, there is a choice to accept the position of the parents or choose your own path. Reassure your mother mentally, add confidence and strength to her that together you will cope and everything will be fine.
Every time we are faced with any situation, we are faced with a choice: follow our own fear and get out from under its influence, or give up and follow the well-trodden rails of the program. Listen to doubts and not decide to change. Go to the challenge and cultivate determination, responsibility, fortitude, or give up. Every day, each of us is faced with a similar choice.
How to identify the program of self-destruction in yourself and get out of it? We offer a simple scheme that can be used to work through almost any destructive program.
Algorithm for exiting the self-destruction program:
1. Identifying recurring situations and behaviors. What's happening. 2. Finding similar reactions. How I react and act. 3. Clarification of feelings and emotions. What I feel and think at that moment: grievances, worries, doubts. What am I worried about, what am I afraid of? 4. Formulation of the attitude. What destructive and limiting attitudes lie behind my grievances, doubts, fears. 5. What basic birth fear and pain are behind the attitude. 6. Rewriting attitudes and prescribing new behavior patterns without fear. 7. Make a new behavior model a way of life. Live in a new way.
☝️ In order to stop self-destruction and master the algorithm for exiting programs, we offer a universal technique for working with yourself
