Golden rules of psychology that change lives and make us happier

Every person has life rules - a certain system of principles that he follows. Some of them were passed down from parents, others from society, and some were brought out by the individual himself. By following such a system, a person gets some positive results.

Often the rules of life come from famous and influential people.

Every person is part of society, he is obliged to obey certain requirements. Without this, he will quickly be excluded from the group and become an outcast.

First try to do it yourself, then ask for help.

To grow, you need to do things that seem hard. You can achieve success only by overcoming difficulties, leaving your comfort zone. Asking for help is not prohibited, but first you need to try to figure out the problem yourself, and only if this is not possible, resort to the advice of others. At the same time, the other person should not solve your problems; it will be more useful if, based on his experience, he recommends how to do the right thing, teaches, and supports.

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Golden rules of psychology for happiness

The psychology of human life is very multifaceted, including the psychology of success, development, communication, and personal growth. What is needed first of all for a happy life? Let's consider the basic rules of psychology for a happy person:

Our life is our thought, a reflection of aspirations

A person cannot change the circumstances of life, but he can change his attitude, opinion, and thoughts. A person’s life moves in the direction of the most powerful thoughts, concentration of attention, it is useful to learn to direct thinking in the direction of success, prosperity, happiness. By thinking positively, we create a new world, and by planning new achievements, we create the foundation for a new life and future success.

My life is my choice

To achieve inner harmony and happiness, it is important to realize that our lives depend on the internal choices we make every day. Only the person himself decides what to do, with whom to communicate, what activity to devote his life to, and whether there will be love in life. Internal protests can interfere with the fulfillment of desires and plans; it is important to believe in yourself and the possibility of self-realization, finding satisfaction in all areas of life.

The rules of psychology simplify your attitude to life, make it possible to believe in your own strengths, learn to create life, and change it for the better.

Rule of self-respect

A sense of the importance of one’s own personality, recognition of one’s characteristics and abilities is necessary, then a happy life is possible. You don’t need to be like everyone else, it’s important to discover your potential, learn to use your features in life. Having high self-esteem and respect helps to achieve high results, psychologists say: it is important to learn to love and accept one’s own personality in order to receive a response from society. An insecure person cannot reveal his inner talents, attract attention, or gain the respect of society. The process has a direct relationship with internal assessment.

Right to make mistakes

In the course of life, people tend to make mistakes and wrong actions. This is a normal process - only by falling and rising do we learn to walk; in life, too, wisdom comes over the years, thanks to accumulated experience, which is not possible without mistakes. Don’t reproach yourself, we draw conclusions and move on with our lives, avoiding similar actions in the future.

We are not talking about compliance with laws, this is mandatory, the main thing is to listen to your inner voice, intuition and conscience, they will not deceive you when choosing a decision. And minor miscalculations should not affect self-esteem, the more bumps, the more knowledge, the main thing is to continue to move forward with faith in your heart.

Difficulties are given to a person for growth, overcoming a new milestone - we become stronger, without difficulties, stagnation in life awaits, and development is necessary for a happy and successful life. Problems and difficulties are the tasks of life; they need to be solved, not experienced.

Right to self-identity

For a happy life, it is important to understand: each person is unique, everyone has their own characteristics, it is useful to develop your own style, look for interests, inclinations, aspirations inherent on the internal level, search and find. You shouldn’t be afraid to be a “black sheep”; it is innovators and people with unconventional thinking that reach heights in life, becoming famous writers, artists, musicians, and politicians.

They are often the leaders who head business companies, organizations, parties, and interest groups. The ability to think, generate ideas, and find innovative approaches are indispensable in life, as is recognition of one’s own characteristics and advantages.

Self-development is the path to a better life

It is important to understand that it is extremely difficult to change other people, it is better to learn to get along with relatives, establish good relationships with colleagues, understand how to bring a piece of happiness to your home, relationships, by giving - we receive. Life reciprocates. People say: “What goes around comes around.” These words contain the truth, the main rule of successful communication. So, to receive love you need to learn to love, to improve communication you need to be open and attentive to people, to receive help you need to help others.

The rules of psychology for happiness are logical and fair, consistent with the rules of the universe.

Live here and now

Life is today, the current moment, yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. The secret to a happy life is to live for today, leaving grievances and troubles in the past. Awareness of the importance of life at a given moment in time makes a person more attentive, responsible, and allows you to get rid of the worries of your past life. The past is experience, you need to accept it and forgive yourself and others for mistakes, strive for better in the future, you cannot change the past, but you can create the future!

Give thanks to life

It is important to get rid of the feeling of pity and worthlessness that arises in pessimistic people. Noticing the positive sides of life, it is easier to move forward and believe in the best. Life needs to be thanked for the good and the bad; without negative experiences it is impossible to realize the difference, to feel joy and happiness. By recognizing and noticing the good in life, we create the basis for even better things, looking for new ways and means of achieving high goals.

The world is in harmony

Happy people, for example, Buddhists, know for sure: everything in the world is in its place - the sun moves, day gives way to night, winter and spring come, everything changes and is in harmony, according to the laws of the Universe. Such thoughts help you relax, accept the inevitable, it is difficult to control everything in life, only the concentration of attention depends on the person and the thought. Therefore, it is worth observing the beauty in life and thinking calmly, sovereignly, positively, which will ensure a happy life; haste and nervousness harm life and reduce work efficiency.

“Calm, just calm,” as Carlson said. This is the highest power that helps a person in all life situations.

New day - new chance

The psychology of life becomes simple if we think about it this way: what would I do if it were my last day, what desires would I strive to realize, would I value time more? It is important to realize your interests, aspirations, and not waste time. Learn to appreciate life, because it is given to people only once. Of course, changing your life dramatically is difficult. First you need to learn to enjoy life: work, family, benefit from life’s experiences, and then change for the better, achieve more.

The rules of psychology for happiness are simple and important, often echoing folk wisdom; people have noticed the laws of life, reflecting them in sayings and parables. It is worth gradually changing your life, introducing new rules, attitudes, changing yourself, we take a step towards changes in your own life, relationships with the outside world, and loved ones. Step by step you can build your own picture of the world and become a truly happy person.

Don't compare yourself to others, compete exclusively with yourself

Constantly comparing yourself and the events of your life with someone else and an obsessive desire to be better than others by any means is a sure path to depression.

Remember the fairy tale when one head of the Snake Gorynych was cut off, and two grew in its place? In your case it's about the same. That is why the only competition a person can afford is a duel with himself. But even in this case, of course, there must be certain rules that need to be discussed in advance.

Etiquette in any public place

When in public places, remember the following:

  • If there is a need to stop in a stream of people, you should first step aside.
  • Don't push people aside if you need to pass.
  • If you accidentally hit someone or step on someone's foot, you should apologize.
  • You need to carry your things - a bag, a briefcase, a skateboard, a musical instrument - in such a way as not to touch others.
  • Garbage should be thrown into a trash can or taken with you to the nearest trash bin.
  • It is worth refraining from prolonged hugs and kisses, even between close people, lovers or spouses.
  • You should refrain from talking loudly, both on the phone and among yourself, if you are with a friend, spouse, or in a group.
  • You need to refrain from discussing household chores and the nuances of your personal life.
  • During communication, you should refrain from excessive gestures. Also, do not itch, rub your hands, or crack your knuckles.
  • A man walks down the street to the left of a woman. The exception is the military, who perform a military salute (salute) with their right hand.
  • Don't point your finger at people or objects.
  • You need to constantly monitor your children so that they do not disturb others.

A separate block should highlight the rules of etiquette in general premises.

Rule 12. Pet a cat you meet on the street

Human existence is dynamic, constantly in the process of becoming and changing. Therefore, human life is finite and limited, that is, filled with pain, suffering and death. Probably, questions come to everyone’s mind: “But isn’t this suffering too severe? Isn’t it better to give up such existence altogether?”

Peterson believes that even if such conclusions are logical and understandable, they pave a direct path to hell. The fact is that if the rejection of Being is taken to its logical end, then a person comes either to suicide (there is no need for me to exist) or to genocide (there is no need for humanity to exist). Both make life worse, because both only increase the amount of suffering in the world.

What to do if your life is filled with unbearable suffering every day? How not to fall into the abyss? According to Peterson, the more you think about your problems, the more those thoughts drag you down. Therefore, you should not allow yourself to think about them constantly: take time to think about your situation, and the rest of the time do not think about it. You will get out if you set the right goal for yourself - to see not suffering, but goodness in Existence. Learn to notice small moments of happiness: a girl dancing on the street, a good cup of coffee, a child smiling at you, a funny episode of The Simpsons, a cat that came up to you to cuddle on the street. Such moments will not allow you to sink to the bottom when chaos is raging in your life.

How to create the mood of a successful person?

  • Smile more often, in the morning, approaching the mirror, say: “I am a wonderful person and a successful and interesting day awaits me,” “I can easily realize all my desires,” “my life is changing for the better.” Ideally, the selected phrases are repeated 20 times for better perception at the subconscious level;
  • It is useful to listen to positive music - jazz, classical, melodic rock, something inspiring to achieve feats;
  • keep track of your successes, achievements, write in a diary;
  • learn to find possible solutions in any situation;
  • remember - it’s easier and more effective to live positively, drive away sad thoughts, and switch to the good.

The theme of a happy person in the modern world has taken on a new form - previously the search for happiness in the outside world was considered, they were looking for the bird of happiness, now a new approach has appeared - to find happiness in oneself and create it in the world around us. Such ideas are more productive, because a person can actively participate in creating his own happiness, and this is more pleasant than waiting on the shore for the favor of fortune.

We wish everyone only happiness and success in life!

To the reader

Throughout life, each person consciously or unconsciously creates his own value system
and forms his own “moral law.”
Life principles are formed from personal experience, books read, influence of teachers, communication with people around us. From time to time, a thinking person needs to compare his everyday philosophy with the views of those who have achieved serious heights in life. The book “The Main Rules of Life” combines the basic values ​​and everyday principles of outstanding contemporaries - those whose successes we follow with interest. Vladimir Pozner, Lyudmila Ulitskaya, Dina Rubina, Alexander Shirvindt, Valentin Gaft, Galina Volchek, Mark Zakharov, Oleg Tabakov, Nikolai Drozdov and others, whose names are known to everyone in our country, agreed to meet and talk about the main thing. We talked about freedom, happiness, vocation, will, imagination, power, fate, success, family, education... But it also happened that the conversation gradually changed its vector, developing into memories or thoughts about painful things. The interviewer had no task to interrupt or stop: behind every sincere word a personality is revealed.

Wise, unexpected, sometimes contradictory and cynical thoughts voiced during the interview were later formed into quotes - in such a pure, crystallized form they will appear before the reader. You can recognize yourself in someone’s phrases, and you will want to argue with someone’s statements. The main thing is to understand and approve your own set of life rules.

Diana Mashkova,


Rule 6: Get your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

People are limited, finite and very vulnerable. Therefore, human life is filled with pain, suffering and misfortune. When meeting them, everyone at least once asked the questions: “Why is this happening to me? Why is life so unfair? Whose fault is this? When a person begins to look for the culprits of his failures, as a result, he can easily slide into all-consuming criticism.

Peterson believes that criticizing the world embitters and plunges people into an even deeper abyss. Therefore, if you want to make your life better, it's time to stop criticizing the world and take care of yourself. It’s too early for you to rule the state and remake the world if everything is not in order in your own home. Start small - check if you have put your home in order, if you have good relationships with your family members, if you have bad habits, if you are working on your career, if you have surrounded yourself with good people? Pick something that you know is making your life worse and just stop doing it. Cleanse your home and your life. Do this every day, and after a while your thoughts will begin to clear, and your daily life will become simpler and better, with less bitterness, complaining and inauthentic behavior.


With all my heart I thank the respected heroes of the book for agreeing to become the authors of “The Main Rules of Life.” Personal communication became a valuable life experience for me and helped me find answers to many questions. Many thanks to fellow journalists Marina Zeltser, Natalia Adamova, Maria Ganiants for their help in conducting a number of interviews. Deep gratitude to the EKSMO publishing house, Sergei Cherkasov and Lydia Osheverova for the idea of ​​the book and its implementation.

Deep personal gratitude for the love and support of my family, which has grown during the creation of the book.

Diana Mashkova


Think about and answer the following questions:

  1. Which recommendation did you find most valuable and applicable to your life?
  2. Could you start using these communication hacks?
  3. What rules do you already use in personal relationships and what could you try in the near future?
  4. How do job and career recommendations reflect your situation? What would make sense to start implementing?
  5. Think over your program to practice the skills you like. For example, set aside 3 days for each communication life hack or a month to learn how to create internal motivation in your loved ones. Put it in your calendar, set reminders, come up with a reward and go!

We wish you good luck!

We also recommend reading:

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  • Four burner theory
  • 12 Golden Rules for Life - life hacks for improving your life from Marty Nemko. Part 2
  • Rules and stages of working with objections
  • Learning to Say No: 9 Simple Ways to Set Boundaries in Work and Everyday Life
  • 9 Rules for Effective Business Communication
  • Coaching: what is it and how to learn it
  • Keith Ferrazzi, Tal Rez “Never Eat Alone and Other Rules of Networking” - book summary
  • Effective communication

Key words: 1Communications, 1Time management

You are really lucky, you are truly the chosen one!

It seems that everything is not so bad, but for some reason you are still very sad! Stop! Look at your life differently. If you can read this, it means you can read after all. Plus you have a tablet, computer or smartphone, as well as a connection to the Internet.

If this is really the case, then you definitely have no problems with breakfast and lunch, and in the evening after work you will return to your own home, welcoming you with all the achievements of civilization - light, hot and cold water, as well as high-quality heating.

Have you ever thought how lucky you are that you are part of a very small percentage of the huge population of our planet who are lucky enough to enjoy all these benefits? Remember this every time you want to feel sorry for yourself and complain about your own life.

So, the basic principles of the life of a happy person

Everything that happens is for the better

An inner attitude towards positive changes helps to catch a wave of good luck and see new opportunities. When life gives you a sour lemon, know how to make lemonade out of it. Any event, situation has 2 sides - positive and negative, often the bright side is more difficult to find, but it exists.

Forget grievances

A happy person does not hold a grudge and understands that forgiveness primarily helps the one who forgives. You need to be healthy, calm, joyful. And the accumulation of grievances leads to diseases and neuroses.

Be open to communication

Happy people love to meet people, communicate, know how to listen and express their point of view. They understand: every person has the right to different views, this is not an obstacle to friendship and communication. They are always sincere, friendly, and charge you with positivity. Ready for cooperation and partnership.

Take responsibility for life

They understand perfectly well that life is the result of their own efforts and desires, they cultivate positive perceptions, set goals and achieve what they want. They never blame others and the world for injustice; they always begin the analysis with themselves. They calmly accept mistakes and mistakes. A happy person does not despair in case of failure, but continues to look for ways to get what he wants or sets new goals: “Everything will work out, good is on our side.”

Be able to give

For a happy life and harmony in the soul, it is important to be able to give: love, attention, care to the people around you, to share thoughts, time, knowledge with others. By giving, a person becomes more open to the world and, as a result, receives more - love, happiness, prosperity. In the modern world, consumerism is cultivated, but it does not help to find happiness, but interferes and creates a value system for egoists. By giving part of our lives to others, helping loved ones, we become truly happy and feel our own importance.

The psychology of human behavior pays special attention to the ability to build relationships, the desire to initially understand, show interest in others, and help create the basis for communication. Each person thinks about his own interests, and, feeling the attention of others, begins to reveal his best qualities and make contact.

Respect yourself and others

Self-esteem is a necessary condition for a successful and happy life. Understanding your value, you can learn to respect and love other people, show attention, and be open to the world. Respect for one’s own personality means recognizing one’s characteristics, merits, and understanding the importance of one’s own life. Having a mission and its implementation also helps.

Human psychology is a complex and simple topic; first of all, you need to understand that people are similar, you should treat others as you treat yourself. Kindness, humanity, attention, understanding have always contributed to mutual understanding.


Human personality psychology speaks about the importance of confidence in a person’s life. With faith in yourself, you can move mountains and reach unprecedented heights. Happy people believe that they can find everything they want in life; all they need is knowledge, perseverance and time to implement their plans. Everything is in the hands of man. Confidence can be strengthened with the help of a success diary - write down all the achievements in life, new achievements, positive feedback. Re-read during difficult periods of life, understanding that difficulties are temporary, you need to continue to act.

Radiate love

The ability to love the world around us is connected with self-love; when a person can take care of himself, fill his own life with joy, then he treats the people around him kindly. Naturally, a negative attitude towards oneself is also projected onto the outside world. It is important to preserve harmony in the soul, to cultivate kindness and joy, to be able to reduce the impact of stress on life, without allowing one to take anger out on others. There are other ways to relax - sports, music, favorite activities, reading literature.

The rules of psychology also speak about reciprocity in the world, love gives birth to love, and evil only destroys the world and relationships between people.

Strive for knowledge

Happy people read books, constantly strive to develop, understand the world, and acquire new knowledge and skills. They realize the importance of acquiring knowledge for a successful life; whoever owns the information owns the world. A happy person learns easily, is ready for a change of job or environment, tries not to get hung up on one action, and looks for new ways for self-realization. Although you can get joy from life by changing your attitude towards work, family, by looking for positive aspects, this is the first and necessary step.

Don't expect gratitude

The psychology of human behavior speaks of the tendency of people to forget about gratitude, therefore, when doing good, you should not expect a response. It will come from life, not always from a specific person, you need to learn to enjoy it by giving energy, attention, knowledge. And gratitude is a secondary action, does not always take place in people’s behavior and is not worth worrying about.

Be able to switch

The psychology of human life reminds us that accumulating stress is harmful; happy people live in the present moment and do not constantly store only events and thoughts in their memory. It is important, when leaving work, to forget about work, to be able to switch to household chores, and not to bring problems into the house. And at work, concentrate only on work issues. Any action must be completed and the ability to quickly switch helps maintain a feeling of happiness and health.

Be able to forgive

A happy person does not hold grudges in his soul, realizing the futility of such actions, negative thoughts only destroy life and health, it is easier to forgive, understand and move on, enjoying the good events in life. The rules of psychology also call for harmony and tranquility, and forgiveness is the path to finding inner peace.

Love to joke

A smile and laughter save you in many situations; humor helps to avoid conflicts, defuse the situation, and get out of an uncomfortable situation. Laughter, as psychologists say, prolongs life. It is no coincidence that humor saves you from troubles, helps you maintain good relationships with people, and charges you with positive energy.

Understand the mirror nature of the world

Our attitude towards people and life shapes our reality. In addition, every person teaches us something; if something doesn’t suit you or irritates you, it’s worth observing yourself, correcting your own mistakes and negative traits. Honesty, punctuality and responsibility help build trusting relationships, find love and wonderful colleagues.

Simplify your life

A happy person tries to smooth out corners, avoid conflicts, minimize troubles, and transfer everything into the realm of good and bright. Dramatizing the complexities of life only aggravates their condition and impact on a person, while a calm attitude helps to find solutions, quickly navigate the living space, and emerge victorious from any situation. It is important to understand that our problems are not commensurate with global scales, there are situations that are more complex, everything is learned by comparison. The main principle of life: “everything is fine, but the tasks of life are routine.”

The rules of psychology help determine the basic principles of life to achieve inner happiness.

It is important to live with an open heart, to be able to rejoice, to notice the bright things in life. Create happiness - tune in to a positive wave every morning, believe in yourself, love your loved ones. Then happiness will joyfully come into the house and accompany you through life, because a person who radiates light never freezes. People and life are mutual - there is a cycle of happiness and love.

The happiest life for everyone is their own; they often talk about love, friends, children, well-being, self-realization in their favorite field. All this is possible by following the rules of psychology and the principles of life of a happy person. For success you need perseverance and faith, the desire for knowledge, for love - the ability to love and give, for friendship - the ability to understand, show attention, support, for health - self-love, care and peace of mind, and also exercise.

By changing the approach to our desires, we realize: in many ways we determine life and our own achievements, which means that any desires and aspirations can become a reality with some effort. The psychology of life helps to gain important knowledge - to understand the principles of achieving success and happiness. Initially, you need to become a source of happiness, to understand what is missing for calm, peace, and confidence. Learn to create the mood of a happy, successful person.

Don't make your work the basis of your life.

Of course, work is very important, since this is how most people can earn money and provide themselves with a normal life. But putting your own work above other, more significant values ​​is simply absurd. And even in the case when you really like her madly.

All your production achievements and any failures are not your whole life. Learn to leave them in the office, disconnect from work at the end of the working day, it will be better for everyone. This will allow you to live your own life, make new acquaintances, find yourself in various types of creativity or travel. Such a variety of positive emotions will only benefit you, which is also good for your work.

A good happy life is possible

You can live a happy life by learning to use the rules of psychology and changing your attitude towards life. Happiness is a state of mind; it needs to be cultivated, radiated, and not sought. People who are able to be happy in their souls attract other, positive-minded individuals, find work more easily, find new opportunities, and achieve success.

Where do they come from?

If you carefully study history from ancient times to modern days, you will see that people have always obeyed certain laws. Initially they were explained by the demands of the gods. With the development of monoreligions, sets of strict rules began to appear, for compliance with which a good afterlife was promised.

The rules of life began to change with the development of society. People stopped following only religious instructions and realized the value of human life. Throughout time, there have been many leaders, speakers and other skilled individuals who have served as a guide for the masses.

In the 21st century, people find themselves in a twofold situation. On the one hand, there are certain social requirements that depend on the place of residence of the individual. He is obliged to comply with them, on the other hand, a person has the opportunity to choose how to live. For example, leading a healthy lifestyle is a right, but not an obligation. If an individual adheres to such principles, then he lives longer and better.

At the same time, a person can become an adherent of a certain culture and comply with the necessary requirements. In some situations, people prefer to build their own system of rules and be based on personal experience.

In the area of ​​self-requirements, there cannot be one correct system. Each person develops his own model of achieving a good level of existence. Therefore, you cannot blindly rely on someone’s ideas.

Rules of conduct in the theater and cinema

Monitoring behavior is important and necessary, among other things, in places of leisure:

  • Arrive at the start of the performance and session on time, without being late.
  • Refrain from consuming food and drinks in the auditorium.
  • Turn off or put gadgets into silent mode during a movie show or performance.
  • Do not film what is happening if the organizers have prohibited filming.
  • Sit quietly, do not lean left and right or back and forth, so as not to disturb your neighbors and those sitting behind you.
  • Those who come together cannot sit with their heads on the shoulder of their companion, or with their heads tilted towards each other, because this disturbs the spectators sitting behind.
  • If two M+F couples come to a session or performance, in the auditorium the women sit in the center, the men on both sides, each next to his companion.
  • During intermission, move to the exit along the row facing those sitting, and not with your back.
  • You should not talk during a show or performance - you should wait until the end or intermission.
  • You should not gesture, sing along or beat the beat with your foot if music starts playing during a film or performance.

Let us clarify that for concerts the rules are more democratic. Many performers themselves ask the audience to sing along with them or shout out: “I don’t see your hands!” Many bands are even pleased if the audience knows the tests of their songs by heart. In addition, for example, not a single rock concert ever starts on time, so spectators being late is also acceptable.

A separate topic is communication etiquette when meeting people. There are also rules here.

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