How to properly open up to a person. And when not to open your soul

Lately, I have started receiving questions related to fear of communication and openness. Perhaps this has something to do with the rapid development of social networks and the Internet. After all, people spend too much time alone and forget to be socially active in real life. But, almost every day I receive the following questions: how to become an open person, how to get rid of the fear of communication, how to communicate with people, and many similar things. Therefore, I decided to examine this topic in more detail.

Fear is an emotion that we all must overcome if we want to succeed in life and grow as individuals. Unfortunately, anyone at some stage in their life may face various fears and self-doubt. This is a natural part of human life. But it certainly negatively affects our life in society. And fear of communication and openness can develop into more serious mental illnesses.

Why is it important to be an open and sociable person?

We must be open and sincere to be able to connect with other people, make real friends and feel comfortable in society. Openness shows the people around you that you are a real and authentic person. That you are not afraid to show your emotions and feelings. It’s always interesting to start a conversation with such a person and share what worries us.

After all, people want to feel like they're interacting with a genuine person, not a robot. And being open and creating positive relationships becomes even more important as a person progresses in their career or life in general. With a more sincere and honest person, it will be easier to build relationships and go through life together. Therefore, we need to think at an early stage in our lives about how to become an open person and inspire trust in people.

You may naturally feel a little fearful at first as you become an open person. Especially if you hold a high position at your job or are a public figure. But the most successful leaders are not afraid to be open, and this directly affects their success. For example, think about Richard Branson. He is an incredibly sincere person, both in his business life and in his personal life. And as a result, he became extremely successful.

How to become more confident, lively and pleasant in communication

I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Trainings are great for developing communication skills.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” is suitable for:

1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
3. To everyone who is involved in raising children.
4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev, an expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

You will learn:

1. Communicate with closed people.
2. Coping with daily problems involving other people.
3. Influence your environment and much more.

The course lasts 1 month and contains 33 video lectures, 26 exercises, 6 tests + webinars with emotional intelligence experts.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

1. Emotions. Basics.
2. Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
3. Social efficiency.
4. Building harmonious relationships.

How it goes:

1. You are watching video lectures.
2. Then you complete independent tasks to reinforce the material.
3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues.
4. Take tests on the material you have studied.
5. You complete the intensive course and receive a certificate.

The cost of completing it independently is 1,040 rubles, with a curator – 2,370 rubles.

They will refund your money if you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you.

There is an article on our blog reviewing the Vikium platform on which the training will take place, read:

• Brain simulators and courses Vikium - the most detailed and honest review of the online learning platform + reviews

Well, are we studying?

Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills

How can a teenager, girl or guy become a more sociable and interesting person? Gender or age is not important. To become more talkative, behave confidently and not be shy, remember a few rules from psychology.

Let's say you're already a social person, but would like to improve your communication skills. Where to begin? Break problems down into components and work on each sub-problem:

1. Take your time. Before you start communicating, take a closer look at the person. Observe his behavior and speech. Determine what kind of communication he is ready for. Some people cannot stand it when someone suddenly bursts into their personal space and starts asking questions about their personal life. And others themselves are ready to tell a bunch of personal stories to the first person they meet.
2. Listen. This is important for keeping the conversation going. By listening, you can not only understand the person better, but also in time on the topic, comment or tell your story.
3. Look for common ground. Closely related to listening skills. For example, start the conversation like this: “Oh, I also had a similar case...”. Or like this: “You won’t believe it! I’m just like you...” We subconsciously like and trust someone who is somewhat similar to us.
4. Don't be overconfident. Confidence is good. Overconfidence is bad. Stand up for your opinion, but do not insult other people or suppress them.
5. Express your desire to help. It’s not just about helping with deeds, but also helping with words. For example, direct the conversation in a direction where you casually demonstrate your expertise. You can help with advice and information education.
6. Be proactive. If you simply nod and go with the flow of the conversation, your interlocutor may think that you are a driven person. Or he will decide that you are not interested in communication, but you are trying to behave civilly. Therefore, periodically change topics yourself, clarify something, offer to go deeper into some problem - demonstrate your interest.
7. Practice humor. An appropriate joke helps to defuse a situation, fill awkward pauses in a conversation, and calm or amuse someone.
8. Adapt. It is important to understand when, with whom and why you should remain silent, and when this should never be done. It is also important to be able to be different: to speak and behave differently.

pros

There is something good in every personality. What advantages can be found in an open person? What personal qualities help such persons exist?

• Courage. To be an open person, you need to be very brave. Telling people what you think to their faces can sometimes be incredibly difficult. Yes, and it’s not always necessary. But an open person will always tell the truth, even if it is very bitter.
• Sincerity. An open person can always console and support. There is no anger, no envy, no resentment in him. Sincerity is rare these days. It’s always nice when there is a person nearby who can put you in your position and help you make the right choice.
• Independence. An open person will not hold anyone back and will not hold on to anyone. He is quite capable of living comfortably alone. Independence brings many benefits. A person can do whatever he wants, limiting his desires only to the limits of common sense.
• Simplicity. A person who is not deprived of sincerity will not wonder. It’s very pleasant to communicate with a person who doesn’t have questions.

Signs

A good person can be seen from afar. His eyes, smile and body movements give him away. What are the signs of an open person? This person uses broad gestures. What it is? You are walking down the street and see two passers-by. One of them is shy and therefore hides his hands in his pockets. The other does not pay attention to those around him, gesticulates widely and can talk quite loudly. From the outside, you might think that this person simply does not notice those around him. Such a person is open, she is not afraid of condemnation, she is emotional and does not want to hide it.

An open person, even if he walks alone, will still stand out from the crowd. The person will not look at the asphalt. The person will observe those around him and walk with his head raised. The movements will express self-confidence and relaxedness. Moreover, this freedom often manifests itself in an extravagant appearance.

Where do communication problems come from?

You may have already guessed from studying the characteristics of a sociable person that sociability is closely related to confidence. An insecure person with a lot of complexes and lack of self-acceptance cannot be sociable. Why? Because he is afraid of public condemnation, rejection, criticism. He is afraid of saying the wrong thing, looking stupid, making a mistake. He also has a negative attitude towards the whole world in advance; he is sure that society does not accept him.

Where does this attitude towards yourself and the world come from? As usual, the roots of problems must be sought in childhood. Reproaches and criticism from parents, bullying from peers, cruel attitude of teachers, suppression in the family - all this negatively affects the child’s self-confidence.

The development of communication skills depends on the style of family education. Overprotection or authoritarianism, in which parents decide everything for the child, are not interested in his opinion, criticize him and tell him to shut up, lead to the fact that the child is afraid to say an extra word.

A permissive parenting style is no less dangerous. For example, if parents do not communicate with the child, then not only does the child not develop communication skills, but also problems arise with the development of speech as such. He may not learn to speak at all.

Interesting! Some people naturally have difficulty being social. For example, introverts feel physically and psychologically tired if they have to communicate frequently and a lot with a large number of people. Especially when it comes to superficial (secular) communication.

What does it mean to take a relationship to the next level?

In the most primitive sense of this expression, a new level implies greater and greater convergence . If the couple is just dating, the next level for them will be living together. For those who have been running a joint household for a long time, a new level will be entering into an official marriage . Obtaining the official status of a husband or wife changes one's sense of self; a person feels more responsibility.

Women are more likely to think about taking relationships to the next level than men.

They start talking about it when they feel that there is no special spiritual intimacy .

What you can do to get even closer to your partner without exerting any pressure:

1. Find common ground , something that will be interesting to both. These are some hobbies, hobbies, sports, joint attendance at master classes.
2. Let go of excessive control, do not check each other’s phones, instant messengers and social networks.
3. Take care of everyday life together , try to cook a delicious lunch or dinner together using unusual recipes.
4. Exchange opinions about films watched and books read, discuss them.

Living together
You need to try to see in your partner not only the source of your pleasure, but also a full-fledged personality . Find out what makes him happy and really captivates him, and what upsets him. The focus should not be on yourself, but on others. But feedback : the partner should do the same. Only then can we talk about an equivalent exchange of energy. When one does everything to get close, and the other avoids it, an imbalance arises in the couple, and tension only grows.

Minuses

A person who is open to the world is not a gift for his friends. Despite all the advantages, such a personality also has its disadvantages.

• Inability to keep secrets. An open person will tell everyone and about everyone. No, he will not spread gossip, but in a fit of emotion he may blurt out something that he was asked to remain silent about.
• Frequent offensive statements. People don't always want to know the truth. Sometimes a person manages to deceive himself. Open individuals do not like this method of self-defense. They destroy illusions in which sometimes those around them find their salvation.
• Premature judgment. Open people can make a verdict about their new acquaintances immediately, without bothering themselves with long thoughts. Such premature judgments are often very different from the real situation.