The question of how to become an interesting conversationalist and always find topics for conversation arises when there is no understanding that there is no conversation for the sake of conversation. Any conversation always has a purpose. Perhaps even two, three, or more, depending on how many people are in the conversation and how many goals are shared. We are not used to being aware of this. So, if you ask yourself why you need to communicate with a person and what exactly you want to get from the conversation, amazing discoveries are possible. Just be honest with yourself.
How to become an interesting person?
What does it mean to be an interesting person? An interesting person is someone who is able to present information in a way that others would like. This could be humor, useful information that few people know, and competent speech. If we put all this together, we get a good and interesting person. Therefore, in this article we will understand. How to become an interesting person and let's try to learn how to become one.
✅Guide to changing yourself .pdf
Humor
One of the characteristics of an interesting person is, of course, humor. Humor is a delicate matter and needs to be learned. It’s unlikely that you will be a humorous person if you yourself are depressed and constantly apathetic. To start practicing humor, just start watching funny programs and model the behavior of the presenters. In this regard, the “ProjectorParisHilton” program helped me. There are 4 people in the program and each has their own sense of humor, which was very interesting to watch.
Just watching and observing how people joke, our psyche tries on the behavior for itself. And if it can be integrated, it will begin to integrate. Then it’s a matter of small things, just communicating with people.
The next workout is a delirium generator. To learn how to level it up, read the article “How to Develop Charisma.” Therefore, there is no point in writing the same thing. I will say that the trick is very working, the brain is trained very well. I highly recommend it. What is it needed for? To build complex analogies in your head, this leads to the fact that it is easy to tell jokes.
There are also various courses on stagecraft; it also develops a sense of humor well if you take such courses.
In general, there is quite a bit of information about a sense of humor. But I can say that your sense of humor can be trained well this way if you get carried away with it a little. I recommend reading Bernard Werber’s book “The Laughter of the Cyclops.” This work clearly outlines what humor is, how it affects people and where it came from, as well as where jokes come from. I liked the book and recommend reading it.
Read more: How to attract money and luck
Possession of information
If you do not have information about the topic of conversation, then you will have nothing to say or tell. Therefore, usually an interesting person is one who develops and receives information from the outside and has an opinion on this matter.
I repeat once again, the more you develop your intellect, the higher the chance of having an interesting conversation, since there is a topic for conversation. Therefore, invest your free time in reading books and learning information.
Smile on your face
A smile on your face inspires trust and generally makes you feel good about your interlocutor. But the smile should be natural and kind, and not mockery. In general, smile more, it will attract others and inspire confidence in you.
To start smiling more often, train your smile, start baring your teeth, and then, out of habit, the smile will fall into place and look natural on your face.
Travel more
Perhaps you will say, what the hell are you doing, where does the money for travel come from? But you don’t have to visit other countries to travel. It is enough to travel to other cities, go to museums and learn information. In general, if you go to different places, exhibitions, galleries, museums, etc., then your horizons will develop as much as possible, so the word travel means, don’t sit at home stupidly on the Internet, but diversify your surroundings.
Rule 7: Make jokes and make people smile!
Positive emotional connotations of the details of a conversation also allow people to better remember and perceive them. If you have a good sense of humor, then others will definitely like it and want to communicate with you as often as possible. Learn witty improvisation, appropriate jokes and creating an informal atmosphere around you. It is difficult to learn this, but it is possible. Most importantly, do not be afraid to joke even in the company of strict and business-like people, because often they are not always like this, but take on this appearance during business communication and responsible negotiations. In fact, they may turn out to be jokers and wits, and it will be much easier and more pleasant to establish contact with such people.
How to become an interesting conversationalist?
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to become interesting yourself, as I wrote about above. But there are still some rules that will have a good effect on the course of communication in any situation. I will also describe below what destroys any communication at the root and from interlocutors you will turn into arguers and enemies by blood.
Be polite
"The city's politeness takes over." When you communicate with a person politely, your interlocutor understands that you are interested in him. And this is very captivating and inspires trust and sympathy in you.
Rule 8: Weakness is also good
Don't be afraid to show that you don't know something or are struggling with something. Politely and unobtrusively ask people for help - they will like it, because many people have a “patron” living inside them who likes to look after others and help them. In addition, if you dare to let people know about your vulnerability (for example, that you are confused in endless corridors and cannot find a conference room), then it will be easier for them to open up to you too. Just don’t overdo it and turn into a helpless “lost” in their eyes. 
Don't get lost 
What kills interesting communication in the bud?
There are tricks for positive communication, and there are also very bad tricks for worsening communication. Let's talk about this. Everything will be simple here, but it is very important to understand this. I will also write taboo topics for communication.
Lies
To be a good conversationalist, you cannot categorically lie. Believe me, a lie can be felt a mile away. Even if you are a genius at lying, it can still come to light and then there will be nowhere to hide from justice. Well, or at least they won’t want to communicate with you and will label you as a “cunt” or whatever?
Therefore, the rule here is that if you want to lie, it’s better to just embellish it, but just a little. You can also say, like I’m not sure for sure or not, and so on. But it’s better to tell a minimum of lies; it’s very unpleasant when people “piss on your ears.” Well, really, sorry for such jargon.
Read more: What is self-hypnosis.
You don't understand your interlocutor
If your interlocutor is talking about a topic that you are not aware of, there is no point in trying to assent to him, since you will not be able to understand what he is talking about, and the person will feel it well that you do not understand him. Therefore, it’s better to just remain silent or say, “I’m not very well versed in this issue.” By the way, it’s okay to openly say that you don’t understand this issue.
But if you start maintaining a conversation in which you don’t flog, then you will come across the point above about lying. But lies are repulsive, so draw your own conclusions.
Arrogance, contempt, emergency.
Never communicate arrogantly with a person if you want comfortable communication. I have a school friend. ChSVshnik is tough. We didn’t communicate with him for about 12 years. And then one summer we were sitting, drinking beer and, as a joke, we remembered his home phone number, we called, he came out. Yes, he is a successful person and makes good money.
But this is the type I know better than anyone, it simply cut off all communication with him at the root. It is not surprising that a person is lonely, has no girlfriend and few friends. It is sad.
Aggression
No matter how obvious it may sound, aggression has a very negative impact on the interlocutor. What is your goal, to learn to communicate comfortably or to behave aggressively? Well, it’s obvious that aggression negatively affects communication.
Interrupting your interlocutor
Nobody ever likes to be interrupted. If a person is interrupted, it means that he is not respected, it means that he will not want to communicate with you. So take the two rules above "Shut up and listen" and "Respect each other"
✅Guide to changing yourself .pdf
Rule 1: Be a good listener
It’s trivial, but many people forget about it. People love to talk about themselves, about their plans, about episodes from their lives and about the experiences they have that they are happy to share. In a conversation, you need to know when to be silent, listen, and when to tell something or ask an appropriate question. There are a number of techniques that help you learn to listen:
1) Take notes . When information flashes in a conversation that is difficult to remember (for example, some names, surnames, telephone numbers or addresses of companies), write them down. The interlocutor will be pleased to see that his speech is treated so carefully, and the notes taken may later be useful to you to ask something or move the conversation to another topic. If you record on your phone, then voice it, otherwise the interlocutor may quite rightly think that you are ignoring him.
2) Forget in time that you know everything . Trying to finish the other person’s thought because you know what he will say next, or cutting him off mid-sentence with the exclamation “I got it!” - This is not just a bad idea, but absolutely bad form. The person will feel bad about you interrupting them, and you will find yourself in an awkward position if you missed the ending.
3) Don’t be shy to show your knowledge . Everything should be in moderation, so while you try hard to turn off the know-it-all, don’t forget that you also have something to say and share. If you generally understand the essence, do not hesitate to say (trying not to interrupt ) “Yeah, I understand,” but after that you can ask clarifying questions in order to finally clarify for yourself the picture of everything that was said. It’s better to ask again than to end up with an incorrect perception of the interlocutor’s words or even a mess in your head from what you heard.
4) Hasty answers to questions are bad . Answers like these, which are blurted out before the question has even been fully formulated or just voiced, give the impression that you are not thinking about your words. Take a breath and then answer. This way you will look more confident, and it will seem to your interlocutor that you have had time to think about his question and weigh your words.
5) Be careful with paraphrases . A paraphrase is a repetition of some part of what your interlocutor said. This is a good technique, but it must be used with extreme caution. You should not repeat word for word what your interlocutor just said. You can, for example, pronounce some part of the last sentence with a questioning intonation (preferably, paraphrase a little) in order to push the person to explain it in more detail. This will not only be an indication that you are an attentive listener, but this way you will also be able to unobtrusively clarify points that you do not understand.
Listen!
Taboo topics
Here we will talk about those topics that greatly worsen the atmosphere of communication. Remember them and try to avoid them, unless of course these topics of conversation are deliberately discussed.
Policy
If you want to maintain relationships with your loved ones, girlfriend, parents, friends, then find out what political views they have and if they are opposite, then close this topic forever if you don’t want to quarrel. Politics is just trash from taboo topics.
Religion
Everything is the same as in politics, here everyone must remain unconvinced. All. Understand that our world is diverse and fic knows how politics and religion actually work.
Rule 6: Tell stories or instructive parables
This is necessary in order to convey your thoughts, draw conclusions, or lead your interlocutor to some thoughts. Many experienced networkers do this. You give the impression of a person with extensive knowledge and experience, moreover, in this way you can emphasize some idea expressed or even slightly embellish the facts. This is called storytelling. And human attention is designed in such a way that it remembers such interesting stories and accompanying information well. It is only very important that the parable or myth be told to the place and topic of conversation! If you have trouble remembering interesting episodes from your life or such stories, then train yourself to write them down somewhere and then re-read them . This way you will also train your memory.
The coolest topics for communication
Accordingly, here we will talk about topics that, on the contrary, have a beneficial effect on communication.
Rest
Any type of vacation, it’s always cool to share your impressions of how and where a person vacationed. If you want to be a good conversationalist, ask where your friend vacationed in the summer or on New Year’s Eve, etc. He will be happy to tell you, and to do this, just apply the “Shut up and listen” rule.
Read more: How not to be afraid of anything
Children's anneals
Remember how you rocked out as a child. These were the coolest moments that, unfortunately, we will never return to. But the memories remain. Also ask your interlocutor what he liked as a child, he will definitely share his secret
Rule 2: Don't interrupt!
Continuing the topic. People are very annoyed when their speech is interrupted by all sorts of “but I...”, “and my... Let the person finish their thought and then speak yourself. If the other person talks for a long time and you are afraid of forgetting what you wanted to say, use the previous tip and write yourself a note with a reminder and the key point of your question. Interrupting turns you, in the eyes of others, into a rude and ill-mannered person with whom they will find it unpleasant to communicate. You should not form such an impression of yourself if you are interested in productive (pleasant ) communication.
conclusions
To become a good conversationalist, you don’t have to complete great training, but it’s enough to be polite and respect the other person. And also be positive. And that's it. Everything else is secondary. But, of course, develop a sense of humor and everything will be just fine.
It was a simple article on the topic of how to become a sociable and interesting person, as you can see there was not too much information in it, but this is all that I emphasized from my personal experience that life gave me and I accept it with pleasure.
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Rule 9: Expand your range of interests and knowledge
You can have an excellent understanding of physics or shipbuilding, masterfully maintain a conversation on these topics, but sit in a puddle as soon as the conversation turns to a just-published novel by a famous writer or about cars. You don't have to become an expert in all of these areas, and you won't be able to, but you should have some understanding of them. This will not only help you establish communication with different people, but will also open up a whole world of interesting things, concepts and hobbies for you. The easiest way is to read newspapers, choose one and look through it every day in the morning. Instead of newspapers there may be a website. Vedomosti, Kommersant, RBC, choose to your taste.
Differences in communication between men and women
The structure of the male and female psyches is different. Women are considered more talkative, while men are always considered silent. But this is a myth, a misconception. Practice shows that women can also be silent, and sometimes men cannot be talked over. Therefore, we will look at the main differences in communication between these two sexes.
- The woman is focused on the communication process. It often doesn’t matter to her what to talk about, it is important that this process continues and does not end. Men are tuned to the result of the exchange of information. This is why sometimes it is difficult for the stronger sex to make many friends, since you cannot talk to many people about common activities.
- Observations have shown that women are better listeners. They will sympathize, nod, shake their heads. Such manifestations are not typical for men unless they are trained to do so. The male population tends to interrupt and give an answer without fully listening to the question.
- Men are brief in their statements. Women tend to use artistic expression and description. They can repeat the same question several times, while men do not see the need for this.
But these differences are relative. If a man wants to become a business coach, manager or any other specialist who needs to speak in front of a large audience, he can develop his communication skills, gradually become easier to communicate with, and earn the “audience award.” And some women want to become sociable and self-confident, since excess shyness gets in the way.
Useful books for developing sociability
To be cool among your peers, sociable at work and sociable at home, study several books on developing communication skills. There are several popular sources that will even teach you how to become the most sociable from a gamer. If you are short on time, use audiobooks. By reading books, you broaden your horizons, which is also useful for communication skills.
Here are the basic books for leveling up your skill:
- “Mastery of communication. How to get along with anyone,” Paul McGee.
- “We turn on the charm using the methods of the secret services,” Jack Schafer and Marvin Carlins.
- “I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation techniques”, Mark Goulston.
- “Secrets of communication. The Magic of Words”, James Borg.
Rule 14: Don't get lost in thought
People who constantly maintain business contacts and communication are accustomed to analyzing a large flow of information and choosing the main thing from it, discarding the “husk.” Don't tire them out and reduce the amount of this "husk" to a minimum. If you do this, then those around you will be sure that you are a serious and purposeful person who values your time and the time of others. Attempts to approach the key issue from afar and utter a bunch of unnecessary information will reveal your uncertainty, shyness, incompetence and will tire your interlocutor. Leave flowery phrases, complex sentences and constructions. It’s better to say “Could you do that” than “I think that in this situation you should think about such and such action.”
Rule 18: You are responsible for your recommendations
Surely there are people in your “arsenal” who can help your new friend, and you can’t wait to introduce him to them (probably ). On the one hand, this is wonderful, but on the other hand, think about it. By recommending someone, you automatically take responsibility for this, and if the person turns out to be insufficiently reliable or does his job poorly, then you will also be to blame (a minus to your reputation). Don’t be afraid to talk about it, saying that you can introduce the right person, but have not yet had the opportunity to directly observe him in action and cannot judge how flawlessly he does his job. You will help a friend, bring together two people whose cooperation in the future can bring good results, and at the same time insure yourself from reproachful glances and reproaches in case of failure.
Maxim Chernov
PS. BONUS for the interview: Find out how to make, maintain and monetize useful contacts in the free video course on business communication here .
Rule 17: Agree
Saying “no” is a valuable and useful skill, but when meeting new people, it is better to agree to a person’s requests if you are able to fulfill them. If not, then you can say so, but add that among your acquaintances there are probably people who can help him, and that you could introduce him to them. This behavior will show that you are friendly and sincerely want to be helpful, and besides, it is unlikely that when you first meet you you will be asked to do something large-scale or difficult to accomplish. In the future, look at the circumstances whether you want to say “yes” to this person or whether you shouldn’t do it. But at the very beginning it is better to use this magic word as often as possible. People obviously won't expect this from a new acquaintance, so you will pleasantly surprise them.
Get rid of prejudices
Fear of failure, fear of being considered ignorant or ridiculed, blocks our creativity, we feel constrained and unable to shine in public. These feelings are familiar to absolutely everyone, even the most famous personalities.
The secret of success and charm lies in natural behavior. Small talk is light, non-committal conversation, and the lighter it looks, the more valued it is. This is a game that you can enjoy if you put aside stereotypes and prejudices.
