Leave your comfort zone: what does it mean, why is it necessary and how to leave comfortable conditions, psychology

Do you like crawling out of a warm bed on a cold morning? Hardly. The skin is covered with goosebumps, the eyes do not want to open, the feet fumble for the slippers... Brrr! Complaining about the injustice of the universe, moaning, and sometimes uttering uncensored expressions, you leave your cozy nest to start a new day. Perhaps very good!

What makes you leave the comfort of your bed? Understanding the prospects and consequences. For example, you don’t want to be late for work, a plane, or a holiday. No, you can, of course, continue to lie down - but the plane will fly away without you...

Crawling out of bed in the morning is an exact analogy for leaving your comfort zone. It’s unpleasant, I don’t want to, but I have to.

What will happen if, figuratively speaking, you still stay in bed and miss the plane? “Oh, let him fly...”

  1. Getting stuck in a swamp of comfort prevents you from achieving social recognition and raising your material level. No, the comfort zone does not always mean poverty. Often a person stops at the “like everyone else” level. It seems like life is going well... but somehow not very well. Discontent, envy of those who are more successful, and disappointment smolder in the subconscious. And if the swamp of comfort lingers at the level of poverty, it’s all lost.
  2. Even worse, in the swamp of comfort, life is boring and dull. No emotions, no drive. Boredom drags on. Every morning marks the arrival of Groundhog Day.
  3. Loss of tone and ability to respond to the challenges of reality is another consequence of prolonged hanging in the comfort zone. Any crisis, default, or restructuring is perceived as a disaster. The familiar, comfortable world is collapsing, but you can’t go beyond the limits.
  4. But the worst thing is the cessation of development. God be with him, with the material. Dozing in the comfort zone stops personal development. The brain, if you don’t give it a shake, begins to live in patterns and becomes dull in the most banal way. At best, we are faced with a man who, as the classic wrote, “is always satisfied with himself, his dinner and his wife.” At worst, depression and even suicidal thoughts arise.


The concept represents a physical space or state where a person is securely settled and feels “at ease” - this is a familiar habitat, a sequence of actions, situations, the result of which is calculated and predicted in advance. The person is emotionally safe.

The decision to radically change your field of activity means going beyond comfort. Along with a new position and higher financial remuneration, an employee’s mental load and responsibility increases. Additional time is required to adapt and complete newly assigned tasks. Sudden but expected changes cause stress and anxiety in the individual. Discomfort will be felt until the individual “gets involved.” As soon as he gets used to it, stability in business will be established - the stressful state changes polarity and calmness is restored.

What is the harm of staying in a familiar state for a long time?

If a lake frog is placed in a container of cold water, which is then heated over low heat, the amphibian will slowly begin to adapt. How? She gradually increases her body temperature, trying to make her stay in the new environment as pleasant as possible for herself. Soon there comes a turning point, when the liquid warms up so much that it is no longer bearable, but the frog still will not jump out of the flask and cook. This is due to the fact that she has already spent her reserves trying to adapt (by changing the temperature of her body).

An identical situation occurs with a person. When deterioration comes gradually, the person practically does not notice them or tries to pretend that he does not see the harmful changes. At first she makes concessions to her own detriment, then the situation worsens. Thus, one gradually comes to terms with the troubles that are occurring, consciousness changes, and as a result, a habit is formed.

A person can clearly understand everything, think for a long time about what does not suit him, want to change it, but alas, does nothing, postponing the solution to the issue “for tomorrow.” As a result, circumstances are already so pressing that everyday life turns into hell, he has neither the physical nor the moral ability to change anything, since all efforts were wasted on forming a habit. The longer an individual does not resist, the more his situation worsens, and he can no longer take drastic measures.

Many people ask the question: is it necessary to leave the established comfort zone? When a person lacks the motivation to change the situation, life itself presents him with problems that stimulate him to take action. Troubles push a person out of his familiar routine, and he is forced to look at what is happening in a new way and react appropriately. It is thanks to an unforeseen combination of circumstances that consciousness makes a sharp turn.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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If a specialist loses his job during layoff, resulting in severe stress. Over time, he opens his own business, which gives him something he could never have dreamed of. Many have hidden potential, but to unlock it, a tough shake is needed.

When a breakup occurs, a man or woman is forced to remain alone. They experience emotional shock and depression may occur. But after a while, a person looks at what happened differently, finds new love and even rejoices at the separation.

If you take a closer look, those things that were initially considered normal were most likely not so. We often get used to work with low pay, bad attitude from loved ones and believe that this is how it should be. Don't wait until life hits you so hard that you have to jump out of boiling water.

If you're scared

Fears accompany a person throughout his life.

Answer these questions with your fingers crossed for every “yes” answer.

  1. Were you bullied as a child in a way that made you feel afraid?
  2. At school did you find it difficult to find a common language with your classmates?
  3. Did you feel like a black sheep?
  4. Do you feel nervous before talking to a stranger?
  5. Do you feel uncomfortable surrounded by your colleagues (classmates, classmates)?
  6. Do you prefer solitude rather than company?
  7. Have you ever been in a conflict situation with a person you are afraid of?
  8. Have you been scared, threatened or beaten as an adult? (Open aggression)
  9. Were you afraid of your parents in your youth and childhood?
  10. Do you have complexes or phobias?

The more points you score, the more you need to trust.

  • Trust this world.
  • Trust the people around you.
  • Trust life, its flow.

Useful practices

  • Remember everyone who hurt you and trust them. Make peace if you are still in a quarrel. Forgive them. Remember: we are all human.
  • Re-evaluate situations where you were bullied. When a person screams, he asks for help. This is a sign of weakness, not strength. A strong man does not shout, he is calm. Your offenders were simply weak, they were afraid that they would not be able to overcome the circumstances.
  • Life is too short to hold a grudge. Let him go. And hold on to something nicer. For example, for happiness, joy, carelessness. Don’t have the habit of remembering who offended you and how. The past must remain the past. It was and was.
  • A person loves to remember all the grievances from school, store them in memory, cherish them. Make it a habit to erase such memories. Instead, remember your best moments. You can arrange a meeting with friends, where you can tell each other about the best moments of life over a glass of wine.

Do you need to leave your established comfort zone?

The “suspended” state very often causes discomfort. Many people have a fear of taking action so as not to worsen the existing situation. Leaving your usual habitat means doing something you are afraid of, even if there is a risk of losing everything. Moving forward requires constant change.

Taking risks and taking unusual steps is the only way to move to the next level. If you want your life to change for the better all the time, then the feeling of discomfort associated with a new environment should become quite familiar to you.

Why step out of your comfort zone

A feeling of complete security, peace, lightness and carelessness - these are all signs of a familiar habitat. The individual knows perfectly well what awaits him, does not foresee any unusual developments of events, and sits calmly in his cozy shell. The advantage of such a stay is absolute uniformity of existence and psychological well-being. The desire to leave such a state is extremely important in order to grow and develop. “Symptoms” of entering the zone:

  • everything goes on as usual;
  • the soul is light;
  • complete carelessness.

If you have the feeling that there is no meaning in existence, you are floating with the flow and something has long been needed to change, the “kick” that you will receive by leaving your usual area will provide enormous opportunities for personal growth.

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If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, and life does not give you the desired impetus, you are stuck in one place. Sign up for a consultation with me, and I will provide you with high-quality psychological assistance, breathing new meaning into existence.

Maslow's pyramid

Psychologists are skeptical about Maslow. Or rather, not like that. His pyramid makes me laugh, but everyone has their own reason to laugh.

Before we can understand these reasons, we need to understand the pyramid. Maslow believes that:

At the base of the pyramid are vital needs related to physiological and mental health. They are what make a person alive:

  • satisfaction of hunger;
  • thirst satisfaction;
  • safety satisfaction;
  • presence of sexual desire;
  • confidence, lack of fear.

If the lower needs are satisfied to some extent, then we can think about the highest point of the pyramid. For example, learn how to make jugs from clay and sell them, learn Latin and read medical treatises in the original.

How to understand that you are trapped

Finding acquaintances, changing jobs or areas of activity, gaining skills and knowledge is a huge stress for many people. Often such actions are accompanied by risks that bring psychological discomfort to the individual. The uncertainty of the future, fearlessness in the face of future challenges is one of the stages of human development. The older an individual is, the more difficult it is for him to escape from his usual peace. However, an emotionally healthy person should not remain in this state for a long time, otherwise degradation is possible - that’s why you need to get out of your comfort zone.

Imagine for a moment that you find yourself in a situation where practically nothing depends on you. If you have panicky thoughts or feel anxious, this means that you are deeply mired in a problem. Do not resist change, even if it seems terrible, fear is a natural protective reaction of the human body. We are designed this way and only strong individuals can overcome themselves. Usually they are the ones who achieve great success in life.


As Neil Walsh said, real life is outside your comfort zone. The first and most important step on the path to entering true life should be the awareness of being stuck in a deceptive balance. It is important to admit that we are stuck at a dead point and have stopped developing. This happens very often: there is a familiar job, a boring but established relationship, an uncomfortable but own apartment. All this can simultaneously cause dull irritation and remain unchanged, because we are afraid to break through the barrier we have established.

How can you get out of your comfort zone and start taking action?

To leave your usual habitat, follow my recommendations.


There are many opportunities to force yourself to do something. You need to start small, then increase the dose until you achieve the desired result.

  • Change your daily routine - the most harmless option. Try to spend time at least once a week differently than usual. Soon your body will thank you – you will have energy and feel better.
  • Set goals - at first, make them tiny, easy to achieve. Then expand your horizons and soon you won’t recognize yourself.
  • Start waking up early - this is an effective way to fill your body with energy and move forward.
  • Mini-stress will help you psychologically tune in to productive work.
  • Discover new places - change your usual path, go for a walk in the evening, go on a trip.
  • Learn to say no - as practice shows, many people do not know how to refuse, even when they fulfill requests to the detriment of their interests.
  • Play sports - you don't need to win gold medals and set records. Just go for a run, visit the pool or gym, do yoga.
  • Limit the hours you spend online, read an interesting book.


I believe that getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to develop as a person, so I will provide the following exercises for those who need to “reboot”:

  • Learn what you've always wanted to do: play the piano, make dumplings, embroider.
  • Meet a stranger without any goals, just in a store, on a bus or on the street.
  • Go to an unknown place - a restaurant with unfamiliar cuisine, a cinema or a garden.
  • Take interesting training courses or visit clubs of like-minded people.
  • Rearrange furniture or make repairs.
  • Change your clothing style, haircut, hair color.
  • Go on an unplanned trip, go to a live music concert.

Tips for people who want to avoid getting into this situation

  • Watch a film in a genre that is unfamiliar to you.
  • Make new acquaintances.
  • Learn a new skill. For example, learn to draw, knit, play the guitar.
  • Visit a place that is unusual for you. For example, a philharmonic society, a theater, a circus, a rock band concert.
  • Change the decor in the room: rearrange or make minor repairs, buy new curtains, add indoor plants, hang a picture on the wall.
  • Take unplanned trips, like in that movie when the main character went out to buy cigarettes and ended up in France.
  • Cook and try new dishes in the cafe. The usual ice cream is, of course, good, but you’ve been eyeing a chocolate dessert for a long time, so why not order it?
  • Buy a dress in a style or color that is unusual for you.
  • Enjoy every day.

Remember that life is given to a person once and it is necessary to live it in such a way that it does not cause excruciating pain for the years spent aimlessly. Try to do something new and don't be afraid of anything!

Article updated 03/31/2020

Five steps to liberation

To achieve new heights and radically change the direction of life, adhere to the following stages of transformation of your internal state.

Step 1 – Goal Setting

Any road always begins with a choice of direction. You need to have a goal and clearly understand where you are going to go. The challenges that need to be overcome can be varied. For example, the fear of talking to new people, when trying to start a conversation, a person is constrained, he falls into a stupor. The solution is to meet strangers as often as possible, while initiating dialogue.

Step 2 – What and how much do you want?

The next stage is to specify the task at hand. Be clear about what you should receive and when. The result can be measured by facts, amounts or other criteria.

Step 3 – Labor

Consistently solve all tasks without deviating from the planned plan. Ideally, you will write daily reports to yourself and analyze their strengths and weaknesses.

Step 4 – More work

Get ready for the fact that on the path to achieving success there will be a lot of difficulties that you will not be able to overcome immediately. Don't take on more than you can handle. It's better to go slowly but surely.

Step 5 – Exploring “new horizons”

If you suddenly realized that yesterday’s milestone has again become your usual habitat, you can safely move forward and explore the unknown.

Ask a question

Daily setting

Well, you have begun to walk the path of change. Moreover, no matter how paradoxical it may be, lying on the sofa or sitting comfortably in a chair, you have already successfully completed part of it. The path to change always begins within us.

Train yourself to conduct a daily analysis, answering the questions “what is grace for me?”, “how do I feel now?” These simple practices, if carried out systematically, help you set yourself up and understand how you see your happy and satisfied future, what you have now and how you need to change your life in order to get to where you want to be - happiness.

Now is the time to get up and move on - the road of change is calling you!

How leaving a comfortable environment will change your life

The process of overcoming oneself will not go unnoticed; colossal changes will occur, namely:

  • You will have a huge number of ideas for development, your perception of the world around you will expand, your brain is constantly fed with information from various areas of knowledge. You will look at everything that is happening around you from a completely different angle.
  • Productivity will increase significantly, and the fear of solving complex problems will disappear.
  • Soon, constantly reaching the top will become a habit for you.
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