Relationships between a man and a woman. How to build relationships correctly

What is human relations

The interaction of people, limited within the framework of a community or society as a whole, is called human relations (HR). In psychology, this terminology is defined as the relationship that individuals enter into in the process of forming small groups and their association.

For your information! From a psychological point of view, an attitude is the relative arrangement of objects, taking into account their properties, and is considered as a result of the individual’s connection with the environment.

Psychologists are interested in the conditions under which an individual forms his relationships, which form part of his individuality. Sociologists pay special attention to how such established relationships function in the social sphere. They call this social behavior and relate social connections to various structures and situations in society.

Human relations

How relationships with other people affect our lives

Our lives are inextricably linked with the lives of the people around us with whom we come into contact. Every day we communicate with a dozen different individuals: at work, among friends, in public places with strangers, in the family, among relatives. The feeling of our own fulfillment depends on the quality of such communication and built relationships.

If everything is not going well in your family, your children don’t listen, and you can’t reach mutual understanding with your spouse, then you’re unlikely to come to work with enthusiasm and new ideas. A damaged relationship will depress you, occupy all your thoughts, and suck the vital energy out of you.

As a result, things will begin to deteriorate at work. They were rude to a colleague, they couldn’t find a common language with the management - this is already a sad story of another unloved job, which you don’t want to go to at all, just as there is no satisfaction from communication and established relationships.

The vicious circle must be broken. Otherwise, it will be a dead end in which you risk being left alone with yourself and your dissatisfaction with people. Don't forget that communicating with people gives us a sense of belonging.

At the same time, any relationship, no matter how good and warm it may be, requires constant work and attention. Having learned to build good communication with people, you will immediately notice changes in everything: you will happily start going to work, your family will look forward to meeting you, your friends will look for opportunities to communicate.

Remember that you need to invest attention and time into relationships, otherwise there will be nothing left of them. And it is completely wrong to think that the relationships that connect us with loved ones and friends are something taken for granted that are not subject to change and fading. It is in them that you need to invest maximum of your strength.

Therefore, if relationships with your old friends, close relatives and family members are important to you, then I will tell you how to breathe new life into them.

Your task for today and this week is to identify the people with whom relationships are most important to you, people who energize you and help you become a better person. At the same time, you will have to frankly admit to yourself which people you want to stop communicating with, since they negatively influence you and take away your valuable life energy.

Now I will tell you how to do this...

The basis of interpersonal relationships and their importance

Methods for resolving conflicts - what options exist, ways to prevent them

The name of such connections speaks for itself; they are based on relationships between people. They occur as a result of verbal (speech and writing) and nonverbal (visual) contacts.

Proven! The percentage of human communication in society using language is 20, 80% of contact occurs at the non-verbal level.

Arguments for communication may include the following points:

• desire to cooperate for the common good;
• craving for a feeling of security and avoidance of loneliness;
• exchange of useful information.

Ukrainian practicing psychologist Natalya Kucherenko notes in her lectures that perception (understanding of other people) also promotes and encourages communication.

Relationships are something to be MAINTAINED.

My title may seem like a gimmick. It is clear that no rules can fully define such a complex mechanism as human behavior. But despite this, most people tend to make the same mistakes. These mistakes are quite common and lead to conflicts. Knowing these rules will help you avoid such mistakes.

People strive to be nice, friendly, interesting, etc.

In books about human relationships you can find two statements that are quite distant from each other:

• It is clear that people generally understand the forces driving them, but do not always manage them well. They want to be good, attentive, etc.
• Quite complex theories can explain human behavior, but they are difficult to formalize.

Between these two points there appears to be useful information that can be applied in practice, although this is not always obvious. Frequent mistakes in understanding people's motives cause most conflicts and emotional disorders.

Classification of relationships between people

How to manipulate people - can this be learned, methods of influence

There are the following types of classification of interpersonal relationships (IR):

• by purpose;
• the nature.

Selectivity is a characteristic feature of this division when choosing a partner for MO.

By purpose

There are two types of relationships between people according to purpose:

• primary - when they arise by themselves, without the desire of the individual, caused by necessity;
• secondary - based on some conscious action of one person for another.

For example, primary interaction can include the communication of people in a queue, when one person “takes” the queue, and the other “gives” the queue to him.

Another example is when residents of a house in a fire call the fire brigade to put out the fire. Firefighters, upon arrival, evacuate the victims and extinguish the fire. These are secondary relationships, they all share one goal.

Relationships linked by purpose

The nature

Formal and informal are the two types of relationships classified in this segment.

Formal relations are characterized by the following points:

• lack of emotional coloring and manifestations of feelings;
• restrictions on rules and norms of behavior;
• inability to choose partners for communication.

An example of such relationships is business professional relationships at work, between colleagues, superiors and subordinates during the working day.

Attention! In formal communication, people adhere to certain conventions, without showing personal feelings.

In addition, MOs are also classified according to the degree of involvement in these relationships.

Classification of MOs by depth of involvement

Theory of justice

One of the components of social exchange theory is equity theory. It characterizes relationships between people as mutually beneficial. That is, every member of society enters into one relationship or another for a reason, but in order to gain some advantages. From childhood, we are taught to share, speak politely, control aggression, and show compassion. It is assumed that we will be answered in kind, but in modern life the opposite effect is increasingly observed. Our innate sense of justice suffers from this, on the basis of which the theory of the same name is built.

The main postulates of the theory of justice are as follows:

1. People in relationships multiply their benefits from existence. It is difficult to earn money, run a household and raise children alone. Unforeseen circumstances make their own adjustments to a measured way of life, and positive relationships will help you feel more confident.
2. Groups of people develop their own norms and rules to distribute rewards fairly among everyone. This lengthy postulate simply says that colleagues, friends, comrades support and understand each other only after a certain time has passed. They gradually learn to interact and together enjoy and benefit from life.
3. Violation of justice leads to tension among disadvantaged group members. When one of the participants in the relationship decides to take control of earnings, attention, love, the balance between group members is upset. As a result, deprived people remain dissatisfied, and relationships become tense.
4. Tension causes members to interfere with the group's order and rules, leading to struggles for justice and action. If one person works, and the other does nothing, but receives the same amount, then the first will begin to be indignant. This is quite logical and easy to understand. But the theory of justice characterizes not only business relationships, but also interpersonal ones. For example, a constantly exploited wife will sooner or later rebel against her husband. And the parents of a capricious and demanding child will begin to deny him many things and will raise him more strictly.

In general, equity theory states that without equality and mutual respect, relationships between people will not be satisfying. Any connections between two or more individuals must be built on balance: as much as you give, as much you take.

Types of relationships in teams and business connections

When considering what kind of connections exist between people, it is impossible to miss the collective relationships associated with professional and business activities.

Friendship between a man and a woman - how it differs from female friendship

A work collective is a group of people whose association is based on professional work within one organization or structural unit.

Applicable to a structural unit and a company as a whole, three types of relationships are considered:

• labor;
• public;
• relationships of life.

The labor type, also known as professional, consists of the following interactions between employees:

• subordination relationships (vertical) - from manager to junior employee;
• coordination relationships (horizontal) - between workers of equal rank connected by a common work process.

Social communication actions of employees are related to the activities of trade unions or other public organizations in whose work employees are involved.

The life activity of the team and the relationships manifested in this area include friendly communication during the lunch break (in the dining room, change house, smoking room).

Important! The two components of workers' MO are business and personal relationships. At the same time, a trend is visible: in a more developed team in the Moscow Region, the business qualities of a colleague are valued, in a less developed team, personal characteristics are valued.

Classification of MO in the workforce

Male and female needs

At the first stage of building relationships, everything seems very easy. You don’t need much to be happy – just be there. Over time, it turns out that this is not enough. Both sides have their own desires, expectations, which ultimately turn into a well-known story: “You don’t think about me at all!”, “Why should I do what you want” and the like.

And so, descending from heaven to earth, you find yourself locked in a wheel of endless misunderstandings and omissions, the only way out of which seems to be patience or separation.

But in reality, you both just want to be happy together. But it is impossible to follow this path if your fundamental needs are not met. In this case, the best solution would be to help your other half “close” the troubling issues.

Psychology of women in relationships: her needs

• Feeling of security. It is important for girls to be confident that a man is able to take some of the burden of responsibility off her shoulders, make serious decisions and cope with problems.
• Attention to her experiences, thoughts, plans. If her inner world is not understood or accepted, one day she will close this door and experience everything within herself. This outcome can lead to a feeling of uselessness and a loss of self-worth.
• Accepting her emotional swings. Women's nature is characterized by mood swings - there is no escape from this. It is important that your partner treats such periods with understanding.
• Hear how beautiful and sexy she is. To men, these reminders seem meaningless, but without them, a woman may completely stop paying attention to how she looks next to her other half. Or unconsciously direct sexuality towards those who are able to appreciate it.
• Respect for dreams and aspirations. Without this support, you can’t expect her to be sympathetic to men’s activities.
• Gratitude. Without it, caring for your partner turns into an obligation, and over time, into a heavy burden.
• Be together more often. And feel that your other half is interested in her.
• See your value and importance for him. A girl is fulfilled in a relationship when she understands that her partner needs her. The attitude “I will do anything for you, just be there and nothing else” will not lead to anything good.
• Feeling like you're the only one. And the point is not only in fidelity, but also in whether the beloved knows how to distinguish her from others, to emphasize how special she is.
• Romance, surprises and exploits. No matter how banal it may sound, this is how she feels loved, and not a housewife tortured by everyday life.
• Pride in your chosen one. She may not talk about it, accept her beloved with all the advantages and disadvantages. But it is extremely important for her to see that he is working on himself, striving for more, and developing.

Historically, the female role is the keeper of the hearth and comfort. This does not mean at all that the image of an ideal woman is reduced to a housewife. She should not forget during her household responsibilities that she is an independent unit and person. And vice versa, a girl who is bogged down in work should remember that she is, first of all, a woman. Don’t forget about femininity, about the ability to be weak in men’s hands.

At the same time, to replenish the donated supply of energy, she needs positive emotions from her lover. They can take verbal form as reminders of how much he loves her. They are also easy to extract from gifts and attention. Emotional return from a partner is the best reward and motivator.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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Psychology of men: his needs

• Become an absolute authority. This is manifested in the girl’s willingness to follow his decisions, without doubting that he can take care of her. It is important for him to feel responsible for their future together.
• Be yourself. When a woman constantly reminds her partner of his shortcomings, he either begins to feel guilty, or loses confidence, or shows retaliatory aggression.
• The beloved's unconditional faith in his strength. A man's self-esteem partly consists of a girl's confidence that her lover is able to solve all difficulties. Without this faith, he himself ceases to believe in himself.
• Respect for his interests. The absence of this element often leads to the fact that a man becomes uninterested in spending time with his beloved.
• Seeing that she enjoys making love to him. The tendency to cheat arises when he does not feel desired.
• Gratitude. If she is constantly dissatisfied, the motivation to perform small “feats” completely disappears.
• Respect for personal space, freedom of choice. He has the right to decide what to do now and when to fulfill his promise. The girl’s lack of patience and transition to “saw” mode turns her into a mother in his eyes.
• Loyalty, the conviction that there is no one better than him. If a representative of the stronger sex regularly hears comparisons with others (and not in his favor), this greatly undermines the desire to continue such relationships.
• Admiration for your woman. He also wants to be proud of his beloved, to see her beautiful, feminine, sexy and developing as a person. By nature, a man is a male. No matter how jealous you are, he will constantly pay attention to attractive people. Your task is to always be out of competition and be able to play different roles: lover, friend, mother.

It is important to remember that it is difficult for “warriors” (and this is what hides the masculine principle) to voice their emotional experiences. They try to cope with difficulties on their own. You just need to accept this fact and not demand excessive sensitivity, talkativeness and openness from him.

Types of interactions between people of either gender

Relationships between people of different sexes can be considered using the example of a school institution. Studying at school and the class, as a working team, are examples of coordination communication between students. Sharing notes during a break, helping each other in class - all this is interpersonal communication.

A number of relationships between people without regard to gender may be as follows:

• related - within close and distant blood ties;
• comradely - in a circle outlined by common activity;
• friendships - formed after meeting;
• friendly - arise from friendly ones, with closer rapprochement;
• professional - within the framework of a common cause.

It is noticed that only the mutual desire of the participants to maintain any relationship from these categories makes them stable.

Stages of relationship development

It is impossible to immediately become close and dear to a person. To do this, you need to go through certain stages of relationships from acquaintance to friendship and love:

1. First contact. People meet for the first time, practically do not know each other and cannot discern the true face of a new acquaintance. The stage of riddles and awkwardness allows them to take a closer look and determine the need for further communication. Sometimes acquaintance is a necessary measure. For example, an official reception or a change of job will require a person to come into contact with individuals unfamiliar to him. The transition to the next level or a delay at this stage depends on whether an emotional connection has appeared between people.
2. Friendly relationships. People are no longer just acquaintances: a little time has passed since the first meeting, and communication, little by little, begins to take on a more emotional coloring. Friends help each other with little things, have fun and feel quite comfortable in each other's company. But you can’t trust them with serious secrets, and in a really difficult situation it’s better to call a closer person for help. However, friends easily turn into comrades if there are prerequisites for this in communication.
3. Partnership. This stage is intermediate between friendship and friendly relationships. Companionship can be a great asset in life and helps you feel confident. A comrade will come to the rescue, give practical advice and will not set you up, but still he will put his own interests above and will not make serious sacrifices. Many people believe that camaraderie is friendship, although this is a little different.
4. Friendship. A friend is the closest person, sometimes closer than parents or even a significant other. Friendship unites two like-minded individuals. They may be completely different in appearance and character, but they complement each other and have common ideas. You can trust a true friend with everything that lies on your heart. He will not betray you and will not leave you in trouble. Not all people come to this type of relationship, because only selfless and kind individuals are capable of truly making friends.
5. Love and marriage. Friendship between two people of the opposite sex can develop into something more, that is, love. A strong feeling can also arise at the stage of acquaintance, but this is nothing more than passion. True love appears only after passing through all levels of human relationships. Then people get to know each other well enough and can really fall in love.

Not all people move from stage to stage, because they do not strive to become closer to a specific individual. Relationships can either move to new stages or return back. Friends often quarrel and become just acquaintances, while lovers separate and begin to be friends.

Types of relationships between a man and a woman

The clash of opposite sexes in society always gives rise to communication. A simple question: “Does friendship exist between a man and a woman?” always worried the public. What causes two sexes to spend time together if there is no love or sexual connection between them? By assigning what type of relationship is the process of describing such friendship regulated?

Experts are of the opinion that one of the “friends” experiences hidden sympathy, which the other has no idea about or does not show that he has guessed. By the type of relationship between people, you can determine how close they are.

Between husband and wife

One of the types of relationships is marital relationships, which arise between people of different sexes. They are distinguished by the following characteristics:

• relatively long relationships based on love and spiritual intimacy;
• there is a physical need for each other;
• the presence of common interests related to the birth of children and their upbringing.

Such MOs are one whole, consisting of two halves: “male rational” and “female intuitive”.

Marital MO

Why can't you build relationships?

Sometimes it happens that a beautiful and smart woman cannot build a relationship with a man.

Why is this happening?

The reasons can be very different, but the main ones are:

• Bad example of parents. It is very important to understand that all people are different, as well as situations. It is quite possible that your life will be more successful than that of your relatives;
• Demands on men are too high. Give free rein to your feelings, not your mind. Treat men more easily;
• Takes on the male role. You shouldn’t do this and make decisions for men. This scares them away. Be feminine, gentle, defenseless;
• Idealization of a partner. Accept your partner for who he really is. Do not idealize him, do not attribute to him the qualities that you would like to see in him. Otherwise, you will have to be disappointed in him later;
• Self-dislike. Love yourself, be confident, smile more often. Do something you enjoy.

But very often a woman cannot build a relationship with a man because he:

• Womanizer;
• Egoist;
• Gigolo;
• Despot;
• Alcoholic.

If a woman has nevertheless linked her fate with such a person, it is better to end the relationship with him as soon as possible and try to find a worthy match. There is no need to dwell on negative experiences. Live, rejoice and believe that very soon everything will be fine for you.

Basic forms of political relations

Social science defines the points underlying their organization as follows:

• political inter-party competition;
• social support for parties by voters;
• cooperation with citizens (trade unions and party organizations);
• connection between the state and the citizen, responsibility to each other;
• interstate unions;
• conflicts, both domestic and interstate.

All political relations are determined by the distribution of power, powers and rights in society.

What is meant by the development and problem of IR

The problem of interpersonal communication, both personal and social, consists of three vectors of development:

• material;
• social;
• psychological.

Proven! To increase labor productivity, material incentives (wages), social conditions (social package) and a comfortable psychological environment in the team must be established at the proper level.

In family relationships, the slogan “Paradise in the hut with the darling” stimulates the development of relationships and love relationships until the first serious everyday difficulties. On the other hand, without love in the connection between two people, the palace may seem like a “gilded cage.”

Is it possible to manage relationships?

Answer: “You can!” In companies, this is done by the HR manager, who monitors the general psychological situation, identifying and eliminating reasons for outbursts of alienation and hostility between employees. Conducted trainings and constant tests among staff can show how united the team is. Material incentives for each employee, individual approach and collective events are the main tools for managing mutual relations.

People can manage interpersonal relationships if they listen to each other and make joint compromises. It’s worth emphasizing your partner’s strengths, putting up with your partner’s shortcomings, and allowing him to have his own vision of the situation.

Determine who in your circle you value most

You have to analyze existing relationships with people. Think about all the people you communicate with regularly, even if not for very long. List everyone in your mind: friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family members, distant relatives, like-minded people.

Now think about which of these people inspires you and encourages you to strive for your cherished dreams and goals. Who is your motivator and adviser, who do you turn to for help and tips, who is able to convince you and put you in the right frame of mind?

If you enjoy communicating with this person and look forward to every meeting with him, then this relationship nourishes you with energy, and it undoubtedly needs to be maintained and strengthened.

There is another type - relationships that drain you, take away your energy, put you in a negative mood, and bring confusion and anxiety into your life. You need to get rid of such relationships as quickly as possible, and if you can’t completely protect yourself from them, then at least minimize them to the maximum and protect yourself from the influence of this person.

It’s not difficult to identify people who devastate you: you avoid communicating with them in every possible way, you quickly get tired of communicating with them, you are afraid or don’t want to talk to these people, and when you see them, your stomach tightens anxiously.

Once you understand how you feel about different people, you can identify the relationships that are most meaningful to you. Right now, take a sheet of blank paper and list everyone you have to communicate with. Now, opposite each person, write your emotions and feelings after communicating with him.

Now divide this list into two categories: people who charge you with energy and positivity, and people who suck the energy out of you, leaving you empty, stressed and unsettled, relationships with whom feel more like a heavy duty.

Calculate how much time and energy you devote to representatives of each group, with which of them you spend most of your day. Also think about how communication with people from different categories affects you, with whom you would like to communicate more and with whom you would like to communicate less.

Next, think about how you would like to contact the people you value, how you want your relationships to develop in the future, are there any unresolved conflicts and problems between you now, how could you resolve them?