Envy , bad feeling, which everyone has probably felt at least once in their lives.
And if we can still control our emotions, then, alas, we cannot influence the feelings of other people.
In view of this, it is important to be able to identify who exactly is jealous of you, and try to minimize contact with this person.
How to independently develop emotional intelligence? Find out about this from our article.
You hear insincere compliments
The first thing people do when they envy you is shower you with compliments.
, which can sound differently: both sincerely and with secret malice. But, for example, as soon as you leave the room, such people will immediately start rolling their eyes.
In all likelihood, people who are jealous will pretend
that they don’t envy you at all, but they will never say it out loud or show their emotions. In this situation, there is one very good method that helps a lot. It is necessary to praise the envious person himself when something really works out for him. This behavior of yours will in some way curb the feelings of the envious and help people see you as a sincere and good person.
You should never take the words of envious people seriously
to understand whether it is flattery or sincerity, because behind them there may be hidden intentions towards you. This way, you can minimize the fact that seemingly sincere compliments from these people can actually turn into duplicity.
Rules of communication
How to communicate with envious people with minimal damage to your own emotions? A few simple recommendations:
- Limit communication time to the minimum possible.
- Envious people are like this because of a lack of information about how success is achieved. Try talking to the person about how much effort they put into having everything they have. At least the interlocutor will be convinced that nothing just falls out of the sky and that work needs to be done. Maybe the envious person, having heard what success costs, will simply say: “I feel good as it is” and leave you behind.
- Many have heard the saying that you need to be happy quietly. Don’t tell everyone around about your successes or your good relationship with your spouse or girlfriend. Protect your own world, and let your happiness be yours alone.
- Don't complain about failures. This will be used against you.
- Do not react to the barbs of envious people. They are just waiting for this. More self-confidence.
When envious people rejoice in your defeats
When something doesn’t work out for you and doesn’t work out the way you wanted, your envious people begin to experience real joy from it. These people carefully hide these emotions of theirs, but in their hearts they are very satisfied with your position.
You need to learn to be calm about your mistakes. And you can always answer your envious people that we all learn from our mistakes. It is important not to show your frustration in any way so that people who are jealous of you cannot enjoy your defeats.
How to protect yourself from the negative energy of envious people?
Don't brag and talk less about yourself
Undoubtedly, it is nice to share your joys and achievements. But if a person shows his superiority too zealously, brags about his successes, constantly talks about his excellent relationships with management and victories on the personal front, this will in any case irritate people prone to envy.
Therefore, to save yourself from envy, give up the habit of putting yourself above others.
And it’s better to talk about your personal life – your husband’s creative successes, excellent-study children and an understanding mother-in-law – only with your family, and not at work. Because there will always be people deprived of family warmth - unhappy wives or single women.
Don't flirt openly at work
Especially with several men at the same time. Even if your professional affairs are going well. This way you won’t make enemies among the female half of the team.
Behave correctly at corporate events
No matter how great your mood is at the party, under no circumstances praise yourself, but rather admire other people, the atmosphere, the work of the host, the performances of the artists, and so on.
Don't show your superiority
If in a group or team you constantly feel your intellectual superiority, do not demonstrate it. You especially shouldn’t do this in relationships with your superiors.
Try to use your intellectual potential to grow spiritually and professionally.
Be tactful in your communication
If you have problems with self-esteem, you shouldn’t increase it at the expense of others: “I’m so beautiful and fashionable. No match for you." When communicating, do not offend or embarrass your interlocutors.
Cleanse yourself energetically
When taking a shower in the evening, imagine that you are removing all the negative energy that has accumulated during the day. If possible, take a shower after communicating with an unpleasant person. If this is not possible, wash your hands and wash your face.
Do not forget to cleanse yourself in the same way after visiting places that are unpleasant to you, as well as places with large crowds of people.
Perform a third eye massage
Use the bone of the index finger of your right hand to massage the “third eye,” imagining how all negative energy leaves and is neutralized in space.
Use the "Brickwork" method
If your envious person is in the same office with you, and it is not possible to move from him, do the “Brickwork” exercise. Imagine that a wall is growing between you and the envious person, brick by brick. Lay the bricks carefully and evenly and secure them with an imaginary mortar.
Continue “construction” to a height that is comfortable for you.
If you are surrounded by a whole “flock” of envious people, surround yourself with walls on the right sides. Do this exercise calmly and concentratedly; you don’t need to wish the envious people all sorts of nasty things like: “I’ll wall you up, you’ll know.”
Take advantage of the power of nature
Try to take a walk during your lunch break in a park or square. Go to a tree, breathe in its aroma, lean against it. If there are no trees nearby or there is no desire/opportunity to walk, place branches of poplar, aspen or lilac on the table - they help protect against negative energy.
You can also place a pot of ivy on the table or sew yourself a sachet filled with dried periwinkle leaves and carry it with you.
When they hate you for no reason
If you feel like they hate you for no reason, then they definitely envy you. And a completely difficult test can be the realization that you are hated because of envy.
You will probably even have a desire to please your opponent, but most likely you will not succeed. In fact, such a person simply needs to be erased from your life. Try to surround yourself only with people who carry positive emotions. You have absolutely no need for all this negativity, and, probably, these people themselves are not happy about such unjustified negativity towards others, so just let them go.
What to do if you yourself experience envy?
How to treat envious people is now clear, but what to do if you yourself are one of them? The answer is simple - love yourself. Every person in the world is unique in their own way. And everyone has their own gift: some write poetry, some draw pictures, while others are great cooks. What are you best at, what is unique within your universe? When the answers are found, envy will go away on its own. Because the understanding will come that there are neither better nor worse, there are simply those who are out of place, and the Universe is trying to reach a person through a streak of some failures.
Even if you were compared to a friend or older brother, let it go. The events are already in the past. It is not necessary to listen to the opinions of those around you, parents, relatives. Find and develop the best that is in you, and those around you will certainly notice and appreciate it.
People are constantly gossiping behind your back
Envious people secretly always try to discuss you and your behavior in every detail. And in fact, this is not funny at all, since they can spread very bad rumors about you. You can confront them directly in order to stop these people.
As a rule, people who, out of jealousy, spread rumors behind your back, are not actually hostile towards you, and therefore sometimes one serious conversation may be quite enough for them to stop spreading gossip about you.
Why is envy harmful?
As we said earlier, envy is a “no” signal to the Universe and the world. By directing this feeling into the world, you seem to show that you are disgusted by what the person has. And you distance such success from yourself, even if you dream about it with all your heart.
I would like to draw your attention to what Joseph Murphy writes in the book “How to Attract Money”:
I think you have more than once heard people say about their acquaintances: “He is a shameless swindler, he makes money off of others” or “Yes, this guy never had anything in his soul, but now just look how much money he has.
Such wealth cannot be acquired except through extortion, theft and deception.” If you take a closer look at a person who talks like this, you will most likely notice that his life has not worked out for him.
On the subject: 10 “golden” rules for attracting money from Joseph Murphy
In other words, indeed, people who tend to speak negatively about the successes of other people have nothing behind them; they are overcome by real, malicious envy.
By blaming others, they find many excuses for themselves. After all, if success was achieved by someone else, then this someone is clearly a fraudster and swindler. But the envious person does not have this success, because he is a decent and law-abiding citizen.
Do you want to attract money into your life and become rich? Stop being jealous and use this >>
It’s the same in love, many girls sometimes find excuses for themselves:
“Because I am a strong personality and men are afraid of me, not like this gray mouse, around whom there are many gentlemen, of course, she is simpler and more homely”
Or:
“Did she bewitch them all? Obviously the matter is unclean, that’s why she was lucky in love.”
That is, people begin not just to envy, but to sincerely find excuses for themselves and look for “reasons” for others’ success:
- Lucky
- Initially richer
- Was in the right place at the right time
- Fate
The list can go on forever...
Joseph Murphy writes:
That is why this person is tormented by envy and irritation. Such destructive emotions become the cause of all failures and unfulfilled hopes.
On the subject: Joseph Murphy: scientific prayers that grant wishes
This means that a person feels as if his desires, which he so dreams of, are eluding him and going to others. That is why a person is so judgmental about what he asks for.
For example: “I dream of being rich, I dream of abundance” and at the same time, he sends a contradiction to the Universe:
“How annoying it is that my neighbor is much richer than me.”
The result is complete confusion and contradictions. In one moment a person approves of wealth (but in himself) and condemns wealth (in others).
When they start competing with you
People who experience envy are constantly in a battle for leadership because their pursuit of success is actually permanent. Such people may even be dangerous, or they may be overly arrogant and want to appear better than others.
You may have a desire to put your envious person in his place. If he tries to argue with you about promotion, try to tell him that you are not competing with him. After all, such people immediately lose interest in competing with you as soon as you stop following their lead.
Destructive feeling
Psychologists around the world are beginning to agree that even the most unpleasant human emotions serve for his benefit. Thus, fear is intended to provide a person with the safety and security of his life. This is the main job of the brain - to do everything possible to ensure a comfortable existence. In this case, comfort is understood as a certain way of behavior. What positive side does such a destructive feeling as envy have? Other people's successes act as a kick to achieve your own. But in the usual sense, this is still the same defense mechanism. Man is a social being, and he likes to think that he is not alone in his grief. At the same time, other people's trophies inflate the envious person's failures to incredible proportions.
When people start imitating you
People who most often experience feelings of envy try to subconsciously seem better than you and begin to imitate you in every possible way. These people only feel better when they completely copy your clothing style or communication style.
Don't feel bad about it, rather try to encourage such people to follow their own path. And at the moment when they try to do something on their own, encourage them in every possible way. Try to show them that in order to be yourself you don’t have to imitate you.
How to stop being jealous?
In order to avoid getting into trouble and become a magnet for your desires, you need to eradicate the feeling of envy and stop being envious.
But how to do that? - you ask.
Let's turn to the classics.
Joseph Murphy writes:
Learn to bless those around you with a pure heart, sincerely wishing them prosperity and success in all matters, only then can you become happy and feel the blessing of the Lord.
In other words, in order to achieve the desired success, you need to sincerely rejoice in the successes of others. This way you will show the world what exactly you approve of and that you are truly, sincerely happy for those around you and that you wish the same benefits for yourself.
Remember that a person increases what he blesses and invariably loses what he condemns.
Indeed, to increase your success, bless others with success, rejoice in the achievements of others as if they were your own.
On the subject: Positive thinking: how and why does it need to be learned?
Start to envy the envious people yourself
This unusual method may seem paradoxical, but it works very well in practice.
People who envy us feel even worse from their own powerlessness and begin not only to rejoice at your successes, but to truly experience suffering from their feelings of inferiority. For such people, envy becomes a habit and they simply stop noticing their merits. But there is something good in every person. You just need to find it.
And if such a person cannot independently identify such qualities in himself, help him find them and “envy” him with all sincerity, in other words, express your admiration for the qualities that you discovered in him.
How does envy manifest itself?
How do you know if they envy you? There are common signs of envy. However, there are some differences in how men and women .
Men are more likely to envy career achievements and financial well-being. They are less emotional, so recognizing their envy is not so easy.
An envious male representative can exclude communication with the object of his envy and do everything not to receive any information about him.
He can also provoke this person, joke evil jokes, or openly provoke him into physical conflict , this is determined by character and temperament.
Women are not so straightforward, and their envy is expressed differently.
It can be different : gossip, caustic remarks, feigned indifference, and sometimes, on the contrary, fawning towards the object of female envy. They also tend to weave intrigues.
Ways to protect yourself from envy
In order to calmly get rid of negativity in the future and restore the protective energy shell, envy and various diseases can be prevented. It is worth remembering that even an inadvertently spoken word from an envious person can disrupt the way of life of an unprotected person.
Important rules:
1. Never tell
about your own plans.
2. Try to share
some of your own joyful events only with those people whom you definitely trust.
3. Never advertise
some important, recently started task, until the moment it ends.
4. Work hard with those around you.
you people avoid scandals and quarrels.
5. To avoid becoming a victim of an envious person
, try to spread any information about yourself as little as possible, and also do not share your happiness. You can’t even imagine how much people envy you at that moment when your eyes shine with happiness.
6. Not everyone knows that the sensory mind exists.
, and not everyone is able to develop it within themselves. If we release our emotions, they can change the world around us. First of all, this applies to those people who can lead to enormous destruction with just their mental message. And therefore, try to behave in such a way that the people around you do not get irritated by your statements, then you will not receive energy lightning with an evil message in response.
7. The most unprotected place of a person is the back
, so try not to turn this place towards an unfriendly person. Evil words spoken to your back can penetrate your energy defenses and harm you.
8. Make it a rule never to judge other people behind their backs.
, because if they find out about this, then it is still unknown what kind of energy force you can get from him.
9. Try to forgive your ill-wishers.
After all, when you forgive them, powerful protection comes into play at the energy level. Remember, your opponents will definitely return their own thoughts with a wish for evil, and blessings will return for you. This has actually been tested for centuries, the main thing is that you need to forgive people with all your heart.
10. Wear mirrored jewelry.
Regular glasses with clear lenses tend to avoid unkind glances and will help you maintain your energy. Mirror earrings and pendants that girls wear can remove negativity and send it back to the one who sent it.
11. Regular pin
will help you protect yourself from envy and damage if you pin it on the inside of your clothes. It can protect a person from negative energy.
12. Holy water
, which should always be kept in the house, will help after communicating with envious and unkind people.
13. Store all your wedding photos carefully.
, jewelry and gifts from the other half. They, just like the two of you together, can become your talisman of well-being and happiness.
14. The most popular method of protection from human envy
and the evil eye is a method in which it is necessary to close the solar middle chakra with your hands. This method is very common among businessmen, politicians and other public people.
All that is needed to close this place is to cross your arms over your chest. This closes the solar plexus. If you don’t have this option, then just cross your fingers. The well-known figure of three fingers, called a fig, is actually an effective and excellent way of protection from various energy vampires and from envious people. Just keep the fig in your pocket.
Black and white feeling of envy
It's no secret that everyone envies differently. In the language of psychologists, this is a “benevolent” and “evil” manifestation.
The feeling of white envy is the desire to possess what others have. However, without wanting to harm anyone. That is, an envious person is friendly. In addition, such envy can become motivation for new achievements by the envious person.
Black envy is not such a good feeling as the previous type. It can destroy an envious person from the inside and reduce the quality of his life. Envying the success of others, such a person wants harm to those towards whom he has a negative feeling. He gloats during other people’s failures, and someone else’s success angers and darkens the life of the envious person.
How to deal with envy?
Of course, it is best to close your heart to negativity. But anything can happen in life. If such destructive
the feeling still sprouts, then you need to fight it. For this we recommend:
- Engage in self-development - set clear goals, become a strong and independent person, realize your uniqueness. It is worth remembering that all people are different, each has their own potential, opportunities in life, and their own mission.
- Learn to control your emotions and feelings - you should not allow negativity (dissatisfaction, irritability) to take over.
- Increase self-esteem - an adequate assessment of your own potential and clear principles help overcome envy.
- Learn to analyze the situation - sometimes a person envyes blindly, imagining the ideal life of others. But in reality, everything may not be as it seems.
- Learn to set priorities - you need to appreciate what you have in life. We must strive to achieve more, but without envying other people's benefits and success.
- Switch - if you are overcome by a depressing feeling, you need to direct all your energy in the right direction. This could be work, hobbies, meditation, sports, etc. Such distraction is an effective way in our fight.
- Use the help of specialists - sometimes a person cannot cope with the problem alone and a good solution would be to turn to specialists.
Signs of an envious person?
With its signs, envy in a person can be detected without much difficulty. Facial expressions and gestures, behavior patterns help with this. Namely:
- envious people smile strainedly, but without hatred and hostility;
- eyes are full of sadness and sadness;
- there is no sincerity in facial expressions;
- head tilted to the side, wandering gaze;
- squinting of the eyes for no obvious reason;
- attempts to cover with hands;
- the envious person takes closed poses;
- detachment from the interlocutor;
- restrained and constrained movements.
If we talk about the behavior pattern of an envious person, then he:
- intrigues against people of whom he is envious;
- gossips;
- ingratiates himself, behaves like a best friend;
- own existence, keeps all problems secret;
- does not openly enter into confrontation due to his inadequacy;
- has suicidal tendencies.
An envious person often suffers from neuroses, mood disorders, infantilism, passive aggressiveness, hysterics, etc. In such cases, it is often impossible to do without psychiatric help.
Why do people envy?
Why does a person envy? This manifestation is explained:
- unmet needs;
- lack of funds;
- self-dislike;
- lack of success in life.
Much depends on the upbringing and attitudes of parents instilled in childhood. If a child does not know how to accept himself as he is, was deprived of parental attention and warmth, was punished for any disobedience, and was not given the opportunity to dispose of his own toys, things, etc. at his own discretion, then he will grow up to be a complex person. self-critical person, incapable of being happy. And such people are often overcome by envy of the well-being and success of others.
These individuals live by constantly comparing themselves to someone else. They see the good in other people's lives without noticing it in their own.
Getting rid of negative feelings
How to stop being jealous of others? Awareness of the problem is already the first right step on the path to deliverance. The following are the steps:
- Finding out the cause - searching for and eliminating provoking factors. It is possible to solve the problem independently or with the help of a specialist (psychotherapist).
- Auto-training and performing special exercises - there are special techniques to help cope with destructive feelings. For example, you can write down on a piece of paper and hang it in a visible place everything that could lead to envy. This stimulates the fight against negative manifestations.
- Self-control is a difficult stage, but quite doable. It is necessary to monitor “attacks” and analyze the signs of manifestation. When someone else's success causes dissatisfaction or irritation, you should distract yourself from these emotions in any way. Any positive impression will do.
- Change – this stage requires a change in thinking. It should only be on a positive note.
- Development, personal growth - those who are complex, limited, and unsure of themselves often become envious. By overcoming these shortcomings in themselves, people become less vulnerable to such negative feelings.
Why do people envy others? What is envy?
Envy is a kind of aggression caused by the success of others. This is the desire to undeservedly acquire some other person’s resource, the inability to rejoice in the happiness of others.
Envy is greed and gloating merged into one; it is selfishness multiplied by malice.
What are the disadvantages of envy?
1. It clouds common sense and very often pushes you to rash actions. 2. Envy spoils a person’s relationship with others. 3. It destroys a person from the inside, prevents him from soberly and sensibly assessing the state of things and the situation. 4. Leads to anxiety, lack of sleep and insomnia. 5. Causes a person to morally decompose and leads to loss of moral qualities.
Marathon “Five Antidotes for Envy”
The thoughtful reader now realizes that envy is not such a harmless human manifestation and has many negative (and sometimes unobvious and long-lasting) consequences.
My task through this section is not only to highlight the disease, but also to offer a way out.
In the case of envy, the best prevention and treatment is to take my practical marathon “Five Antidotes for Envy,” which you can subscribe to right now.
In this marathon, every day for a week I share special practices to work on the mentality of envy.
How to deal with envious people?
Don't make excuses
If you hear “fantastic” stories about yourself that clearly differ from reality, do not fly into rage or, conversely, tears, and do not turn away from the conflict. Firmly and briefly tell the envious person that what he/she is now saying is not true.
You should not indulge in arguments about why this is not true, how things really are, and so on.
Remember, any justification you make will be regarded by your opponent as his personal victory. And you don't need it at all. Firmly stop the gossiper and return to your business as if nothing had happened.
Try to improve your relationship
In some cases, an envious person may be a good person, but very unhappy and angry with life. And it's not your fault. You can establish good business contacts or even make friends with such a person. How to do it? It is necessary to increase the self-esteem of the interlocutor.
Stages of increasing the self-esteem of the interlocutor:
- In a conversation, find out what values this person has. Talk about these values, you will probably agree on something. Be sure to say that you support such and such.
- When communicating, find out what this person does better than you. For example, he bakes pancakes, glues wallpaper, and does good math in his head.
- As if in passing, mention that pancakes, unfortunately, are not your thing, you’ve never hung wallpaper, and you can’t imagine your life without a calculator. It is important not to invent anything or exaggerate. Your inability must be real, otherwise your interlocutor will sense a catch. If you can’t find several inabilities in yourself, discuss one thing. The main thing is to be sincere. When your opponent believes that you are inferior to him in at least some way, he will calm down.
- Ask your opponent to teach you something. Ask how to properly prepare pancake dough, what type of pan should be used, ask to be taught some mental counting methods. Even if you're not particularly interested in something like this, it's worth doing for two reasons. The first is that you will let your interlocutor know that he is not an empty place in society, that he is valuable and needed, and the second reason is that extra knowledge never hurts.
- Thank you sincerely for the advice. Agree, it is difficult to envy a person who is sincerely grateful to you for your help and participation.
All this concerns communication with one envious person. If you are surrounded by a whole “flock” of envious people, and establishing contacts is vital, start working with the leader.
Often, if a person is envied, he simply remains lonely. What to do? The most important thing is not to panic and not to hold anyone back. The following status is now popular online: “Thank you to those people who came into my life and made it wonderful. And thanks to those people who came out of it and made it even better..."
You should not be offended or upset that as a result of your success, long-time friends and acquaintances have turned away from you.
