All people are different in character. It is formed throughout a person’s life: in the process of education, socialization, and the formation of a stable value system. It is based on an innate personality trait – temperament. In psychology, there are 4 types of temperament: choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine, melancholic. The character of a melancholic person is the most contradictory and ambiguous.
What does a melancholic person look like?
On the division into character types
Let's start the article with all sorts of facts and terms. Well, what can you do – that’s psychology. But at the end there will be a lot of personal experience.
In medicine, it is customary to divide everyone, based on behavior and character, into 4 types of people: melancholic, sanguine, choleric and phlegmatic. Although everything is far from so simple, there are also many subtleties. Traits of several characters can be simultaneously present in one person. This is usually called a mixed type of temperament. This is studied in detail in psychology. Knowledge makes it easier to work with patients and helps develop correct behavior with such people.
4 types of temperament
general information
Melancholic people have an inert type of temperament. We can talk about the presence of the following character traits: emotionality (see Emotions), anxiety (see Anxiety disorders), high sensitivity. Among the representatives of the creative elite there are many melancholic people. Such people are introverts who always refuse to visit entertainment venues. They feel uncomfortable at noisy parties and in large companies. It’s better to spend time quietly, calmly, read a book, draw. They are considered too reserved and calm people.
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general characteristics
Let's look into the details of what kind of melancholic he is.
A melancholic person is a person who does not splash out negativity on others and does not start quarrels, preferring to accumulate all grievances and experiences within himself. Such individuals are prone to soul-searching and introspection, but at the same time these same emotions make them very creative individuals.
People with this type of character are characterized by a tendency to constantly worry. They experience vivid emotions that can appear in bursts and then fade away. But unlike the choleric person, the melancholic person does not show them, outwardly remaining unperturbed.
The description of this type (as well as others) was formulated by the ancient Greek healer and philosopher Hippocrates, giving it the name in honor of black bile - melaina chole. It was this illness, in his opinion, that best characterized his character. Just like black bile, negative experiences poison the body. In the modern world, its interpretation continues to be used, only supplementing it with the results of new research.
Flaws
Touchiness
People with this temperament can take on the role of a victim. They often offend with or without reason. They are distinguished by vindictiveness, inability to express emotions, and let go of grievances (see How to forgive grievances). Melancholic people are able to remember grievances for a long time. They would be happy to take revenge, but indecision and isolation (see Introvert) do not allow them to commit this act.
Vulnerability
A representative of this temperament is still a pessimist (see Why I am a pessimist). It is not easy for him to find reasons for joy, while sadness can arise without any apparent reason. He is afraid of many things, takes many aspects too warily and seriously. Melancholic people can boast of a huge number of fears, which take the form of phobias (see Phobias and their treatment with hypnosis).
It is curious that innocent criticism or a careless joke can turn into a deep insult for melancholic people. They may be offended by an accidentally thrown word, which representatives of other temperaments would have forgotten long ago.
Focus on other people's opinions
Melancholic people are characterized by increased stubbornness, a tendency to consider their own opinion the most important and irreplaceable. Surprisingly, such people still suffer from low self-esteem (see How to Increase Self-Esteem). It does not allow you to adequately perceive even constructive criticism.
- When praised, the melancholic person simply blossoms, and excitement appears to continue the activity. He can continue work that does not bring pleasure, just to hear compliments and pleasant words again.
- When criticized, a melancholic person is able to fall into a depressive state and stop any attempts to change the situation. He will give up his favorite activities, believing that he is simply mediocrity, although this has no objective basis.
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Perfectionism
A melancholic person always strives to do the job perfectly. This can only be prevented by his emotionality, which can cause serious problems. It is worth mentioning the presence of increased demands both on yourself and on the people around you. This may not please his colleagues, as well as close people.
How to identify a melancholic person by character traits
It is enough to spend some time with a person to find out his type. Knowing the characteristics of a melancholic person’s character will make it clear how to communicate with him correctly so as not to feel awkward. Briefly about the main signs of behavior of this personality type:
- Excessive touchiness. With a melancholic person, you will have to carefully watch what you say and how you say it. A harsh word or inappropriate tone can cause offense in such a person. But it’s not a fact that you can recognize it by external signs.
- Closedness. Melancholic people are often not very sociable. They don’t like noisy companies (they are simply uncomfortable in someone else’s company), and if you have to be among people, you will rarely hear more than 1 or 2 phrases from them.
- Tact. A melancholic person will not ask you when you will get married or have a child. This doesn't mean he's not interested. Just based on personal experience, he will not “get into your soul.”
- Creativity. Often these people are representatives of creative professions. Internal emotional outbursts allow you to direct your energy in the right direction. Therefore, you can often hear that creative individuals are “on their own” or capricious, although this characteristic is erroneous. This is simply a cost of temperament.
Melancholic artist
There is information that people of this type of character can be identified based on appearance. Melancholic people have a supposedly fragile physique, their limbs may be slightly elongated, and their skin is pale. But this is very controversial, since absolutely anyone can look like this.
But body language can sometimes, on the contrary, reveal the melancholic side of your interlocutor. Some tightness in posture, tightly pressed knees, often crossed arms and in general the feeling from such a person that he is trying to become more compact.
Advantages and disadvantages
People with a melancholic character can easily succeed and stand out among the team. Like all personality types, they also have good and bad sides. Positive character traits:
- Faithful. If a melancholic person has become attached to you, then most likely it will last for life. Their affection is always sincere, such a person is a very good friend.
- Monogamy. A person with a melancholy character is a monogamous person and prefers to build long-term relationships. This is true in most cases, but not always.
- Very sensual. Due to increased emotionality, melancholic people are prone to romanticism. In love, they are very gentle and sensitive, taking care of their couple.
- Creative. Creativity for melancholic people is a way of self-expression. And the richer the emotional range, the more creativity they produce.
- Good analysts. The usual state of a melancholic person is observing others. Thanks to this, they have a well-developed ability to analyze and anticipate events and people's behavior.
- Perfectionists. Possessing perseverance, they do their work thoughtfully, achieving high-quality results. Unfortunately, speed suffers.
As usual, the most striking advantages also result in negative aspects of character. Melancholic people experience separation or betrayal very hard. Sometimes it may take them more than one year to move away from a long-term relationship.
Excessive emotionality can have a bad effect on the state of the nervous system and ultimately result in unpleasant illnesses. Because of the love of analyzing everything (especially oneself), an endless internal dialogue occurs. This soul-searching and constant replaying of situations in a circle often interferes with moving forward and slows down personal growth.
The most striking disadvantages of melancholic people:
- pessimism;
- low stress resistance;
- poor self-esteem;
- inertia;
- communication problems;
- excessive slowness.
Music has a great influence on the mood of a melancholic person. She can drive him into depression or, conversely, give him strength.
Melancholic introvert
Melancholic people are characterized as closed people, weakly responsive to the external environment, with restrained speech. But one of their most important qualities is the increased sensitivity of the nervous system. This quality allows such people to succeed in the creative field. But it also makes the melancholic vulnerable to society.
A person with this type of character often experiences events too much, and this can affect not only psychological health, but also physical health: pressure changes, nervous tics, headaches.
In addition to the division into character types, people also have different personality types: introvert (closed) and extrovert (open). So, a melancholic person is an introvert.
Can a melancholic person be an extrovert?
You will never meet a melancholic extrovert, since this type of temperament and psychotype are incompatible by definition. A melancholic person will never love a noisy company and will not be in the center of it, since he does not need it. To protect his inner world, he will prefer to hide from prying eyes.
Positive
- The ability to empathize. The emotions of a melancholic person are expressed, which is explained by their thin-skinned nature. The most insignificant event can make them happy or sadden them to tears.
- Emotional melancholic people are aesthetes.
- Anticipation of difficulties. They have increased anxiety, melancholic people imagine the most tragic scenarios for the development of events, and this can throw them off balance. But, on the other hand, they can prevent trouble.
- Propensity for long-term relationships. Melancholic people need quite a lot of time to get along with a new person, but if you have earned their trust, then you will not find more reliable and devoted friends.
- Consistency. Melancholic people strive to maintain relationships, although their social circle is usually quite narrow. They can maintain interest in a person for a very long time, trying to study him thoroughly.
Features of a melancholic woman
A girl of this character is a very modest, often complex person who avoids large and noisy companies. From the outside, she may seem a little slow. Outwardly, she shows practically no emotions, although a storm can occur inside. Typically, melancholic women are very creative; they like to decorate their homes, doing things with their own hands, sewing or knitting clothes for their loved ones.
Melancholic woman
How to raise a melancholic child
From early childhood, a melancholic child loves logic toys, willingly learns about the world around him, and is inquisitive. But he may often not make contact with his peers. The child studies well at school and has good behavior, but rarely responds on his own initiative in class. At the same time, such a child may completely lose interest in the subject if the teacher offended or insulted him.
Parents of a melancholic child need to carefully filter the information coming to the child. Thanks to their well-developed imagination and heightened sensitivity, such children have a hard time coping with cruel scenes from films or even fairy tales.
A melancholic teenager needs the support of his environment and relatives, gets tired quickly, and is very worried about the distribution of forces in the class. Boys have a hard time with failure and can become interested in collecting and sports. The girls are quiet and willing to carry out their teachers’ instructions. They often become teachers' favorites, regardless of their academic performance.
Childhood
A child with this type of temperament absolutely loves learning something new. If he avoids severe stressful situations, interest in learning will remain for a long time. Most often, a melancholic person successfully studies in almost all subjects. Much depends on the attitude of the teacher himself. He must take into account the characteristics of the child, who finds it easier to work independently than in a group. It is important to understand that a melancholic person is afraid to raise his hand to answer and can easily lose concentration. He doesn't like physical education because he needs to prove himself.
Friendly relations
At any age, a melancholic person does not like to be the center of attention (see Why attention is important). He will feel more comfortable when he can be alone with himself, read a book, or draw. You can't expect him to try to get to know you first. He is quite hesitant to get along with his peers and can be friends with younger children. A melancholic person may lose friends due to his tendency to be a homebody. At the same time, he values his close people very much. He doesn’t want to change friends or start empty conversations.
Features of education
A child with this type of temperament may well become a victim of school bullying (see Bulling - school bullying). People around him may try to “stir up” him, to bring out his emotions. Often, peers do not like a child who is too serious and is interested in “smarter things.”
A melancholic person will suffer from a lack of respect from people around him, but will never tell his parents. It is important to notice any changes in your child's behavior.
Relationships and compatibility with other temperament types
To find common ground, it is important to have common interests. But sometimes this may not be enough. It would seem that there is a common cause or hobby, something to discuss, but different characters do not allow them to get closer. It turns out that temperament also plays an important role in successful communication. Let's figure out how a melancholic person feels next to people of a different type of temperament, and who is suitable for him.
With a choleric person
Choleric is considered the most “mental” type of temperament. These are people with an explosive character who can shout if something doesn’t go according to plan. They are constantly nervous, even over small things, and take it out on others. But they also think very quickly and in critical situations make decisions faster than others.
Of all the types of temperament, a melancholic person combines worst of all in a relationship with a choleric person. He may simply be “crushed” by the latter’s irrepressible energy and strength of character. A choleric person can often communicate in a raised tone and cannot hold back harsh words, while melancholic people are, as a rule, quite touchy people.
With a sanguine person
People of this type are considered the most sociable and positive. Often such people are portrayed as cheerful and always laughing. A sanguine person belongs to the extroverted psychotype.
He is an optimist, a good listener and a pleasant conversationalist. A sanguine person easily finds a common language with a melancholic person, being an inspiration for him. It charges you with energy, helps you overcome internal pressures and move towards your goal. An ideal combination, since it is a sanguine person who can stir up a melancholic person.
With a phlegmatic person
Phlegmatic people are deservedly considered the calmest people. It’s hard to piss them off, but if this person gets angry, then this is comparable to a disaster, since the slower he starts, the slower he cools down. Phlegmatic and melancholic get along well with each other. This will be an even relationship or friendship without strong emotional outbursts.
With a melancholic person
This may seem like the perfect combination. After all, who can better understand a melancholic person if not exactly the same? Yes, such a union will be idyll. And it will be a measured and stable relationship. No “Italian” quarrels with showdowns, breaking dishes, and so on. But if a melancholic person needs a person who can inspire him to move forward, then it is better to take a closer look at a representative of a different type.
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Ideal job for a melancholic person
For a person of a melancholic nature, it is better to choose professions that minimize interaction with people and require attention to detail. For example, the work of a manager or advertising agent will not suit them, since this type of activity involves constant contact with a large number of strangers.
You can choose monotonous activities that require periodic use of thinking. List of suitable professions for a melancholic person in which he can succeed:
- analyst;
- literary editor;
- programmer;
- designer;
- advertising developer;
- writer;
- psychologist (subject to non-group practice), etc.
Although a melancholic person prefers to work alone, if the team is small and close-knit, with a homely atmosphere, so to speak, then these conditions are quite comfortable for him.
Career
It is easier for a person with this type of temperament to occupy the position of a subordinate. He prefers to simply do his job well. The most suitable professions are: artist, accountant, programmer, scientist, nurse, psychologist. They like work related to analytical thinking and the search for the meaning of life (see How to find your place in life).
A melancholic person has a hard time tolerating:
- Huge responsibility, risk, fast pace of work;
- Tensions in the team, conflict situations, intrigues (see: Got stuck at work);
- Long work without breaks (need breaks every 2-3 hours);
- Constant cooperation (effectiveness of individual work);
- Changeability, lack of social insurance and fixed wages.
It is important to realize that such a specialist will be extremely indispensable in situations that involve the disclosure of creative potential, calculations, forecasting, learning new things, showing empathy, and helping other people.
Famous melancholic personalities
There are a lot of examples where famous people who achieved success had a melancholy character. It is noteworthy that their activities were mainly related to creativity in one form or another.
Famous melancholic people:
- Keanu Reeves;
- Johnny Depp;
- Michael Jackson;
- Megan Fox:
- Charles Robert Darwin;
- Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky;
- Sergei Alexandrovich Yesenin;
- Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol;
- Pavel Sergeevich Butor (coming soon!);
- Isaac Newton and others
Melancholic Johnny Depp
General concept of the term
In psychology, “melancholic” is one of the four types of temperament, according to the Hippocratic classification .
These are people who have a heightened intuitive perception of themselves and the world around them.
It is believed that melancholic people are much more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders and mood problems more often than others.
Melancholy - what does it mean? Melancholy is a term that, until the beginning of the 20th century, designated a mental disorder. Nowadays this is outdated and melancholy is understood as a dull, sad mood.
Melancholic is dull, thoughtful, sad.
What to do if I'm melancholic - my personal opinion
How can a melancholic person live in modern society without breaking out of the general rhythm? To be honest, I wanted to write a separate article on this topic, but decided to limit myself to a short text within the framework of this article.
Friends, I myself am melancholic and an introvert, and everything described above is about me. This is considered to be the weakest type of temperament. But to be honest, I don’t care about this judgment. I have my own opinion on this matter, and the facts from my life confirm it.
Yes, sometimes this makes it difficult. Yes, sometimes I can get carried away over trifles, I can be offended by a person, it would seem, because of a trifle. By the way, I learned to deal with this. How exactly - read my article.
Constant internal dialogue, analysis of my past actions, anxiety that comes from out of nowhere, fatigue from long-term communication (especially uninteresting), physical fatigue, sometimes slowness and the like - all this is present in me, and no matter how hard I try to change it, nothing works. Therefore, you need to turn everything into “plus”.
The most important thing is to accept yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people and start enjoying yourself and your capabilities. Now I’ll tell you how I do it (the process, of course, is still far from complete, but a start has been made).
You need to clearly understand your trump cards. And a melancholic person has a lot of them!
Responsibility. For example, I know for sure that if a matter is interesting to me, then I will approach it with great responsibility. Especially if someone asked me to help and I agreed. I will carry it out meticulously. Yes, speed suffers, but until the quality, in my opinion, reaches the ideal, I will not finish the work. To turn this feature into a “plus”, I just needed to choose the right activity.
Analytical thinking. I'm just in awe of this! Not to say that I develop this side greatly, but even the basic skills given to me by nature are enough to stand out from the crowd and think differently: think ahead, analyze the actions of other people, etc. This is truly a strength and it is inherent melancholic people!
A sense of beauty and the ability to feel people. This is a characteristic of absolutely any melancholic person. Yes, because of this we can sometimes seem too sentimental, but this can also be corrected. For example, when I communicate with a person, I can immediately determine approximately who he is and what kind of energy he carries. True, friends, and this is cool! If you correctly combine analytical thinking and the ability to feel people, then we will turn out to be the best psychologist in the world. And if you are a good practicing psychologist, then you can easily control those around you.
Leadership. It is believed that a melancholic person cannot be a leader. And I'll tell you that this is nonsense. It's just that the leadership format is different. You will not lead the crowd into battle by shouting slogans, but you will calmly control both the captain and the crowd. You can easily gain leadership in any team and do it without anyone even noticing. How – I described in detail in the previous article. That's right, it's not that difficult, because you feel every person perfectly. You just need to know certain tricks, that's all!
Relationships “man - woman”. Again, for some reason, everyone around me thinks that a melancholic man has a hard time with women and vice versa. And I can say with confidence that this is nonsense, but not entirely! For example, it was really hard for me before. And rightly so, girls love obvious leaders (choleric people), cheerful people (sanguine people), guys who don’t whine. And this is all true. But guys! Those abilities that are already inherent in us by nature can be applied to women in such a way that everyone else will be no match for us! Don't believe me?
We feel a woman very well - this is a huge plus for guys. After all, all women are very emotional, and knowing the reason for their actions, plus analytical abilities to develop certain strategies, we can always control the situation. You just need to know certain tricks and that’s it. And for this, friends, you need to study seduction. “Romantic” style - who can be a romantic better than a melancholic person?
We are shy, but it can be cured with practice. We don’t like noisy companies - it’s unlikely to be cured - which means we shouldn’t go to noisy places, but go where it’s comfortable.
In general, friends, a melancholic person has a lot of advantages. Just to understand them and learn how to use them correctly, you need:
- Accept yourself and understand what you can and want to change, and what you cannot or do not want.
- Eliminate what is unacceptable to you.
- Constantly work on yourself.
- Compare “I am now” with “I was then”, and in no case with other people.
Don't like your job, are you very tired of it? So, maybe it's because she's not right for you at all? Quit, just do it wisely.
I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Get training. For example, you are shy and your communication skills suffer, unlike a sanguine person, for example - take communication training.
Also download your advantages. For example, by nature, as a melancholic person, you are endowed with a unique ability to feel people’s emotions. But it’s not clear how to work with all this, right? This means you need to improve your emotional intelligence. I recommend you the “Emotional Intelligence” training, which is conducted by the famous trainer Oleg Kalinichev, a famous consultant, director of Paul Ekman International.
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This investment in yourself will pay off very quickly, and you will become much more productive. Completing the course will allow you to understand your own emotions and the emotions of other people, determine when you are being lied to, understand people's facial expressions and resolve conflicts. The course is aimed at developing the skill of remaining calm in any situation, and the main value of the training is increasing self-esteem and self-confidence.
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That's it, friends. Whether we are melancholic or sanguine, introverted or extroverted - all this is not as critical as it seems at first glance. Let's not give up, but start working on ourselves!
