An arrogant person: what does it mean and how to deal with it

Definition of the concept

Arrogance implies a need for dominance, a person’s excessive confidence in his own abilities, strength, and credit for success. By and large, arrogant behavior serves as a compensation mechanism for self-distrust and lack of self-confidence. Arrogant behavior has synonyms, namely pompous and arrogant.

An arrogant person is one who behaves exaltedly, exalts himself over other people, considers himself more valuable and important, as a result of which he treats others with disdain. Such an individual wants to be admired, to be respected for the presence of certain qualities or accomplished actions.

Arrogant behavior is characteristic of almost all people in a certain life situation or in the presence of special circumstances. As for individuals who are characterized by constant arrogance, for them this is a stable pattern of behavior.

Arrogance is a character trait of an immature personality. A mature person understands that development has no limits and realizes that in any business there can be more and less successful people.

It is necessary to understand that society exists due to the fact that some individuals complement others, those who have achieved greater success teach the less successful, and do not ridicule them. Arrogant behavior gives rise to discrimination, hostility, and aggression. At the personal level, pompous behavior can take on extreme forms, causing harm to a person’s life and health, because, trying to prove his superiority to others, an individual can work, thinning his body. And this will lead to the destruction of personality.

Possible reasons

Arrogant behavior begins in childhood.
There are two main groups of reasons that influence the development of arrogant behavior. The first is a defensive reaction of the human psyche, which is overcompensation for personal shortcomings, the second is the emergence of arrogance as a result of real-life successes. It follows from this that the causes of arrogance may be the following factors:

self-doubt and low self-esteem;
feelings of inferiority;
egocentrism and selfishness;
the baby is a favorite in the family, growing up, he gets used to this role;
inflated self-esteem and self-esteem, even if there are real achievements;
cultivating a number of family values, in particular the situation when a child grows up in a family where there is a high social status, and gets used to the fact that he occupies a more advantageous position in society than other people;
a person will become arrogant if others flatter him and try to please him.

Characteristic manifestations

Arrogant people always want to be the center of attention, pointing out their superiority

Pomposity can manifest itself in a number of ways.

Consumer attitude. A person expects universal recognition from others, expects that they will begin to praise him, that everyone will respect him. There is a belief that everyone has a responsibility to meet his needs. Such people are in awe of individuals who admire them and despise those who refuse to show them respect.
An arrogant person does not know how to cooperate with anyone. He cannot come to terms with the fact that they will begin to compare him with someone, equate him, because he is better.
Depreciation. This individual will not recognize someone else's individuality; he does not care about the desires and feelings of another person. If he hurts someone, he ignores this fact.
Puts himself in the highest position. He believes that he occupies the top stage of evolution. Such a person will prove that he is right, read lectures, make comments, sticking his nose into things that are not his own. He easily criticizes those who do not meet his standards, pointing out their weaknesses and failures. Constantly searches for other people's mistakes in order to point out the person's weaknesses, thereby exalting himself above him.
Always declares his own achievements. Such a person wants to talk as much as possible about himself, about what is happening to him, what he has achieved, what he has acquired, because it is important for him to be in the center of attention.
The first impression can be a pleasant one. Having met an arrogant person, you may be charmed. Such a person at the first meeting is characterized by extroversion, charisma, and sociability. However, the control data is superficial and lasts for a short period of time. In fact, it is characterized by the presence of a low degree of empathy, selfishness and contempt.
Shows off his personality, attracting everyone's attention. Such an individual can speak loudly, click his heels, put on special makeup, and do everything to hide his own insecurities.
Difficulty creating relationships. An arrogant individual scares away people around him. Who wants to be next to someone who exalts herself above others? It is also worth considering that arrogance characterizes a person as self-sufficient, therefore, such an individual does not need someone’s company. In fact, forced isolation provokes the development of serious discomfort.
Has a negative attitude towards criticism. Such people are absolutely confident that they know exactly how to act in a given situation; no one can tell them, much less tell them that they are wrong.
It is extremely difficult for such a person to ask for forgiveness; he is completely convinced that he cannot do anything bad and always does everything right. In addition, he usually blames other people for all his troubles.
He communicates only with those who “deserve his attention.”

What it is

The Bible notes that arrogance is characteristic of individuals who withdraw from and neglect God. The word arrogance itself has Old Slavic roots of origin, and the exact meaning of this concept is “to blow” or “to cheat”, the synonym is arrogance, arrogance or arrogance.

The antonym of arrogance is humility or modesty.

A person’s arrogance, with its “icy coldness,” repels other individuals who would previously like to get closer to her emotionally. Arrogance does not allow you to share your emotions and feelings, cry, or repent. The presence of this quality in a person discourages any desire to communicate with her.

Feelings, affection, love are prohibited words in the vocabulary of an arrogant person. He hides them deep in his soul. It is no secret that it is in the manifestation of emotions and feelings that a person’s originality and individuality are revealed, then sympathy arises, turning into affection. Fearing disappointment, an arrogant person distances himself from any attachment, does not allow anyone into his inner world, and therefore ceases to behave directly, supportively, naturally and affably.

Arrogance is a “therapy” for shyness, awkwardness and constraint. It is easier for a person to put on a mask of arrogance, and this means to overcome awkwardness and constraint, to resolve pressing issues that are important to him.

An arrogant person does not lecture, force or strain anyone. It is not his intention to impose anything on another person. His rule is to go “your own way.” He distances himself from another individual not because of disdain, but often because of the “cold inaccessibility” behind which an insecure individual hides. Spiritual closeness can “melt” inaccessibility, rejection, and behind this one’s own imperfection and weakness will appear. Arrogance is very close in its qualities to pretentiousness, mannerism, and stiffness.

An arrogant person is not eager to humiliate another person. His coldness and detachment bring harm to everyone, thereby provoking emotional outrage and indignation in people. However, a person with this quality does not have targeted humiliation.

How to resist arrogance

Set a goal for yourself. Why do you need to get rid of arrogant behavior? After all, you must have a clear motivation indicating the need to free yourself from arrogance.
Communicate with people, listen to their opinions, learn to evaluate not only your point of view, but also the thoughts of others.
Ask yourself, are you really as good as you think? Take a piece of paper, write down your positive and negative traits, analyze what you wrote. You can also write down different areas of activity and imagine whether you can succeed in each of them. Surely not. And this will indicate that you are not the strongest, best and smartest person in the whole world.
It is possible that you are an excellent specialist in your field. But think about it, perhaps there is an individual who is stronger. Remember that there are no irreplaceable specialists. Today it is very easy to find a replacement for any employee. It is necessary to understand that, having achieved success, taken a certain position and stopped developing, you will not continue to remain the best. Only that person will achieve real success who will listen to the criticism of other people, constantly engage in self-improvement, and do not sit in one place.
Learn to see your mistakes and analyze them.
If you have offended someone, ask for forgiveness. Be aware of other people's feelings, put yourself in their shoes, try to feel what they are feeling at the moment.
Stop focusing everyone's attention on yourself. Look at other people, evaluate their interests and problems. During a conversation, it is unacceptable to point out your superiority or show disdain for your interlocutor.
Ask your relatives and work colleagues to point out your shortcomings, as well as your strengths. Analyze what you heard, accept the fact that everyone has shortcomings and weaknesses.
Start playing board games, such as checkers or chess. By losing games, we learn humility, which means we lose arrogance.
Try to pay attention to other people, learn from them, and don’t forget to share your knowledge. Don't resort to envy.
Be polite, don't be afraid to say "please", "thank you", "sorry", and give people compliments.
Try to praise people from your surroundings as often as possible, begin to truly respect those who are close to you.

Be prepared for the fact that this path will not be so quick and easy, that it will take a lot of time to change yourself and your type of thinking.

Recommendations

1. How do you understand what you need to do to improve your life and get rid of arrogance? First of all, examine yourself, try to remember when exactly you began to consider yourself better than others? Write down all the situations in which similar thoughts arose. Analyze this list. What happened to you in each case, what feelings did you experience, what did you cope with at that moment and what did you want? Understanding the reason for the emergence of this character trait will help you cope with it and “thaw out”, become more humane and able to build close, trusting relationships.

2. Work tirelessly on your self-esteem, bring the far-fetched image of yourself closer to reality. No one is perfect, and showing that you are vulnerable in some way does not mean that you are weak and undeserving of love. On the contrary, that you are a living person, capable of feeling and making you want to support you and be close to you, and not run as far as possible from your pomposity. Take a look at this article, the recommendations indicated in it may be useful in this situation.

3. Gradually build relationships with colleagues, family and friends; of course, it will take a lot of time, but it’s worth it. If you don’t know how, take a closer look at them, how do they communicate with each other? Do they help, empathize, laugh at jokes or their own failures? What is going on that makes them get closer to each other and not further away? At first, you may have to learn simple things like saying “thank you,” giving compliments, and resisting the urge to make a comment. The article here will help you master communication skills.

4. Take courage and start working on your fears and complexes. This is not an easy process, but it is important to be honest with yourself, if you discover your weak spot, you will become stronger. Read the article about complexes.

5. Learn to show love and compassion. Excessive pride will not help you win love and respect, you will get it if you are able to give it yourself. It’s not easy to go down, but experiencing the feeling of unbearable loneliness is much more difficult and requires more energy and resources.

Rules for communicating with an arrogant person

If you notice that there are arrogant people around you, learn to communicate with them correctly so as not to get on the nerves of yourself or those around you.

If you hear something offensive from such a person, you don’t need to remain silent, be sure to respond. It is necessary to understand that an arrogant person is extremely focused on her person; she does not even realize that she can offend with her words.
Tell the pompous individual that this is only his opinion and that other people may think completely differently. What he says is not the absolute truth.
If a pompous person interrupts and starts talking exclusively about himself, then say, “I apologize for having to interrupt you, but I would like to tell you something about myself.”
If a person begins to speak arrogantly about himself, tell him directly that he is exalting himself. You need to talk about this carefully, for example: “You feel like you said that too arrogantly?”

Be patient with an arrogant person; they may not know how to behave differently.

Now you know the definition of arrogance. As you can see, this character trait can manifest itself in different ways. There are many reasons that can provoke the development of arrogance. If you notice arrogant behavior in yourself, start changing. If there is a pompous person in your environment, learn to communicate with her correctly, taking into account the recommendations outlined in this article.

arrogance

Quotes with the word arrogance

The Russian people, this hundred-armed giant, would rather endure the cruelty and arrogance of their ruler than his weakness; he wants to be punished - in fairness, he agrees to serve - but he wants to be proud of slavery, wants to raise his head to look at his master, and will forgive him for the excess of vices rather than the lack of virtues.. Mikhail Lermontov, “Vadim”
Anyone at Vanity Fair has probably noticed how well those who are deep in debt live, how they don’t give themselves away for anything, how cheerful and frivolous they are. Long-term habit, noble bearing, impeccable shoes and dress, well-learned arrogance in behavior often save a person no worse than a large bank account. William Thackeray, “Vanity Fair”
The Russian people, this hundred-armed giant, would rather endure the cruelty and arrogance of their ruler than his weakness; he wants to be punished - in fairness, he agrees to serve - but he wants to be proud of slavery, wants to raise his head to look at his master, and will forgive him for the excess of vices rather than the lack of virtues.. Mikhail Lermontov, “Vadim”

Arrogance is a personality quality that can create in a person a false sense of his own importance due to detachment from any affection, inaccessibility or coldness in relationships with the environment. In other words, a person, like an “inflated soap bubble”, wanting to appear as an important person, withdraws himself from probable, both tactile and emotional collisions, and, inviting everyone to touch him, as in the literal and figurative sense, his coldness and inaccessibility.