Do you know people about whom you can say “calm as doors” or perhaps you yourself notice such a quality in yourself? Most likely, we are talking about the phlegmatic type of temperament. What to do if someone is phlegmatic? How to behave with such a person? Is phlegmatic good or bad? Can he be considered lazy? What do we even know about this type of temperament? Who is a phlegmatic person? Why is it called that? What to do if your child is phlegmatic? How to raise him correctly? If you are not too lazy to read, all the answers can be found in this article.
Who is a phlegmatic person?
Compared to other types of temperament, the phlegmatic is the most balanced and calm. It is characterized by a stable mood and an almost complete absence of emotional outbursts, to which other personality types are susceptible to varying degrees. Phlegmatic people rarely change preferences and demonstrate slowness and inertia when they need to quickly change plans due to newly discovered external circumstances.
People with this type of temperament are quite intelligent and reasonable; they carefully consider information, which is why they have a good memory. Phlegmatic people rarely allow their emotions to break out and in almost all life situations they demonstrate the same pattern of behavior. In this regard, they are the most stable personality type.
Phlegmatic people are usually conservative; they often perceive changes painfully, so they try not to change anything in their own lives. They adapt to new conditions extremely slowly, although they perceive them calmly. Difficult decisions are given to phlegmatic people with great difficulty, since they try to weigh everything as carefully as possible, thinking through all possible options for the development of events. Often doubts prevent them from making the right choice.
Compatibility by temperament
Surprisingly, phlegmatic and choleric temperaments make a good love match. A hot-tempered choleric person will find his peace in a relationship with a phlegmatic person, and the second will have a source of strength, motivation and energy.
Phlegmatic and sanguine are a good combination. One will surround the other with care and attention, will always lend a shoulder, and will not betray trust. The second will bring lightness, laughter, and a rich flow of positive energy into the relationship.
Note! Two phlegmatic people will have maximum mutual understanding; they are always pleased to return to a quiet, comfortable home, but even they can become bored. This is not fatal, but attempts to diversify life will be long and indecisive.
A bad combination of a phlegmatic person and a melancholic person. The first is not used to showing emotions, and the second lacks them. Melancholic people are not bad people, not pessimists, they have a unique world, but a phlegmatic person hardly dares to find his way there.
How to recognize a phlegmatic person from the outside?
All phlegmatic people are typical introverts. They are calm and balanced, they rarely need to pour out emotions to someone. In most cases, they do not show their own emotions, and even close people often do not understand how they feel. Typically, phlegmatic people themselves are born psychologists. They observe those around them and are good at noticing when they are excited. If necessary, they are ready to listen to a loved one and help with advice.
You can recognize a phlegmatic person among your friends by their characteristic behavior:
- Complete peace of mind
. Even in difficult situations, a phlegmatic person behaves judiciously and peacefully. - Ability to resolve conflicts
. Being a calm and good-natured person, he does not support aggressive communication. It is almost impossible to quarrel with him. - Discretion
. A phlegmatic person analyzes well and correctly assesses the situation, does not draw quick conclusions and does not give in to provocations. - Quiet speech
. He always speaks calmly and smoothly, does not raise his voice or change the pace of conversation under the influence of emotions. - Minimal facial expressions and gestures
. During communication, the phlegmatic person maintains a neutral facial expression and does not wave his arms. - Knowing of limits
. He knows how to limit himself in food, alcohol, rest and entertainment. - Unpretentiousness
. He adapts well to any conditions, despite his internal dislike of change.
Phlegmatic people adapt well to their interlocutor. Therefore, being “cool” in most life situations, with a good friend a phlegmatic person begins to smile more. At the same time, he often unobtrusively imitates his interlocutor, thanks to which friendly communication with him is always comfortable and pleasant.
Pros of being a phlegmatic person
To make it completely clear who a phlegmatic person is, let’s look at his positive character traits, some of which are quite valuable. The advantages of being a phlegmatic person include:
Constancy
A phlegmatic person does not change his own beliefs and does not give up his words. If it becomes obvious that he was wrong, he admits it. He is very constant in relationships, thanks to which he can become a reliable business partner, a good friend or a devoted life partner. Phlegmatic people do not suffer from the agony of choice; they know in advance where it is better to have lunch, what shoes to buy and how to get a haircut.
High concentration and self-organization
Phlegmatic people are diligent and disciplined. They are able to work on a task for a long time, doing monotonous work for hours, which quickly tires people with other types of temperament. Phlegmatic people work methodically, paying attention to detail. They do an excellent job with work that requires a lot of detail. They make excellent accountants, analysts, and scientists.
Stress resistance
Phlegmatic people are able to distance themselves from stress. They react to even the most difficult stressful situation not with an emotional outburst, but with a calm philosophical remark. At the same time, phlegmatic people do not run away from reality, but strive to act rationally, not allowing emotions to control themselves. This makes them very effective in stressful situations.
Pedantry
Phlegmatic people are meticulous about the quality of their own work. They pay attention to every detail and double-check everything to eliminate errors. This allows them not to worry about the quality of the work once it is finished. Also, pedantry helps these people to bring any task to the end.
Self-esteem
A phlegmatic person has peace of mind and the ability to avoid conflicts and stressful situations. This is due to the fact that such a person always has a stable assessment of himself and his qualities in general.
Often, a phlegmatic person is distinguished by an adequate assessment of himself. This is clearly expressed in work and everyday life. The individual adequately assesses his capabilities and does not try to reach a new level in any area. It is difficult to force a person with normal self-esteem to do what he cannot do. He is comfortable in the circumstances that are within his control.
At work, a phlegmatic person with average self-esteem behaves calmly and balanced. Tries to complete all assigned tasks. Loves praise. Thanks to the positive assessment of your work by your colleagues, your productivity increases, however, this does not particularly affect your mood. People working with a phlegmatic person can trust him with any secrets, because he will always listen and keep everything secret. He willingly helps his employees if they ask him. Purposefulness, perseverance, love of order and reluctance to change make him an excellent person for any employer.
In addition to people with adequate self-esteem, among phlegmatic people there are also those who have low self-esteem. Such individuals are quite stingy with emotions. There is a reluctance to have a conversation and be in the center of events. Distance from society, excessive laziness and indifference to everything begins. This condition can easily be confused with depression. However, a person who has low self-esteem needs support and praise . Thanks to these criteria, a desire is developed to do something in order to receive praise.
Disadvantages of a phlegmatic person
In addition to the stated advantages, a phlegmatic person also has a number of disadvantages, the main ones of which are the following:
Inertia and passivity
Phlegmatic people do not strive for serious changes. They like it when the situation develops in full accordance with the plan, carefully thought out in advance. They also do not have ambitions; they prefer to turn a blind eye to some problems. Typically, a phlegmatic person is completely satisfied with his own passivity; he sees no point in developing, so he often deprives himself of the chance for a better life.
Inability to adapt
Phlegmatic people tolerate discomfort well, but do not know how to adapt. Serious changes do not knock such a person out of the saddle, but he perceives them calmly and does not strive to adapt to new circumstances. Also, phlegmatic people have difficulty switching to other tasks and change their place of work or profession with a “creak.”
Closedness
A phlegmatic person is reluctant to let new people into his life. If you like a person with this type of temperament, you will have to make a lot of effort to get close to him. And even when you become a close person to him, remember that he will have the desire to be alone with himself quite often.
Positive traits
- Incredible work ethic. Phlegmatic people are tireless workers who always get things done to the end.
- Stable mood, stable emotions, equanimity.
- Immune to stress. Phlegmatic people rarely have attacks of rage or melancholy. They face difficulties with composure and overcome them with dignity.
- Patience. The processes of excitation and inhibition in phlegmatic people are stable, so they do not have the desire to give up everything or start a new life on Monday.
- Determination. The phlegmatic person moves towards his goal slowly but persistently.
Phlegmatic man
A man with this type of temperament is calm, reliable and not at all jealous. For almost any woman, he can become an ideal match. When understanding who a phlegmatic man is, it is important to focus on his ability to work through issues of well-being. He always has a stable job and a financial cushion in the bank; he is good at saving money for large purchases (a car, an apartment).
Due to their penchant for constancy, phlegmatic people are predominantly monogamous. The wife of such a man can be confident in his reliability, but she won’t have to wait for bright adventures with him. He won’t open the door with the words “Honey, tomorrow we’re flying to the Bahamas!” Vacations are usually planned six months in advance, and tickets are purchased around the same time. Also, you should not expect the ability to express feelings from a phlegmatic person. He doesn't know how to make romantic surprises or give flowers for no reason.
Phlegmatic woman
From a phlegmatic woman, one should not expect frivolity, manifestations of “female logic,” whims, or sharply changing moods. She is calm, practical and calculating. It is impossible to conquer her with a romantic surprise or a “crazy” act. In men, she values not recklessness and romance, but more practical character traits. Therefore, if you are trying to win the heart of such a girl, you will have to try hard.
Keep in mind that if a phlegmatic woman lets a man into her life, she becomes very attached to him and expects a serious relationship. But don't expect her to show affection and love. She usually has these feelings and are quite strong, she is just not inclined to show them. But she is always attentive to ensuring that her loved ones are happy, healthy and well fed. This is how she shows love.
Relationships with a phlegmatic person
Anyone with this type of temperament usually feels quite comfortable with people. Significant difficulties are possible only at the first stage - it is difficult to start a relationship with a phlegmatic person, both romantic and friendly. He is reluctant to let you into his life, and even if he likes you, he will not demonstrate it. But if he decides that he needs you, he won’t let you go.
In friendship, a phlegmatic person is sincere, calm and responsible. Keep in mind that it is better to spend time with him at home or in a relatively deserted environment. He doesn't like noisy parties, but he will happily take a walk along the lake or through the forest.
In romantic relationships, phlegmatic people are supporters of trust and honesty. Thanks to their responsibility and prudence, they are almost always faithful to their “half” and expect the same from her.
Compatibility with different types of temperament:
- Choleric
. This is the best pair for a phlegmatic person. Being complete opposites, they balance each other perfectly. A phlegmatic person needs the energy of a choleric person, but he himself restrains his temperament. - Phlegmatic
. Such relationships are also quite comfortable. Two calm, honest and faithful people can create a strong union. However, quite often such couples divorce after 20 years of marriage (when they are no longer constrained by responsibility to their older children). - Sanguine
. This union is also considered successful. A sanguine person is not as explosive as a choleric person, but also has powerful energy that allows him to “stir up” a phlegmatic person without causing him discomfort. - Melancholic
. This is the worst combination. In such a couple, both “halves” quickly begin to irritate each other. A melancholic person is due to the fact that he constantly whines and is hysterical, and a phlegmatic person is due to his indifference.
Definition in psychology
What does the concept of phlegmatic mean, what is its scientific definition, human science will answer this question. A person who is strong in spirit, emotionally balanced, and has stable nervous processes is a phlegmatic person in psychology. The species in question has a rather easy-going character; such a person simply does not show emotional outbursts or a predisposition to rash actions. On the contrary, it is characterized by smoothness, inertia, nervous processes, such as inhibition and excitation, smoothly replace each other.
Note! Phlegmatism is often associated with an introverted communication style, which may be characterized by some inhibition.
At the same time, this individual is credited with perseverance and perseverance in his work activities, which often makes him an indispensable employee. The psychological portrait of a phlegmatic person allows him to be an exemplary family man, a loyal friend, and a worthy leader.
