Until recently, a psychopath was any person with an unbalanced psyche and a hot temper who does not control his emotions. In fact, psychopathy is a serious disease, the symptoms of which may not be immediately noticeable. Men with mental disabilities are especially dangerous because their actions cannot be predicted.
Man on black background
How does pathology manifest itself?
Unfortunately, women do not immediately understand that their husband is a psychopath. At first, the relationship is close to ideal. A man tries in every way to tie a woman to himself. He shows attention in life and on social networks, constantly gives flowers and gifts, and shows with all his appearance that he is in love. In addition, you constantly hear declarations of love, assurances of your exclusivity. You are pleased to be with this man because he can present himself and is always charming and charismatic.
Some time passes, and the woman realizes that her whole life revolves around a man. She tries to spend as much time as possible with her husband, to please him and thinks about him all the time. And at that moment everything changes. Now the psychopathic husband makes the woman jealous and doubt herself. Many women appear in his circle, although he does not give direct reasons. A woman loses confidence and tries to match her man. Previously, she was put on a pedestal, but now a woman is made to understand that she is not good enough.
A psychopathic man will never talk about your shortcomings, but he will turn the conversation in such a way that you yourself begin to doubt yourself. Over time, you will have to beg for sex, because you need it more than he does.
Psychopathic men do not feel pity or sympathy for anyone. This manifests itself even in childhood, when they torture domestic animals and offend little ones.
Such a man is never to blame for anything, but a woman is not forgiven for even the slightest mistake. He expects you to anticipate all his wishes and constantly apologize.
As a result, the woman loses herself and begins to live only for the man.
Preventive defense
When someone strongly emphasizes that he/she is a “nice guy” or a “nice girl”, they immediately begin to tell you that you should “trust him/her”, or out of the blue they assure you of their honesty - be careful.
Destructive and violent individuals exaggerate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should “trust” them without first establishing a solid foundation for that trust. They can skillfully “disguise” by portraying a high level of sympathy and empathy at the beginning of your relationship, only to later reveal their true identity. When the cycle of abuse reaches the stage of devaluation, the mask begins to slip and you see their true nature: terribly cold, callous and dismissive.
Truly good people rarely need to constantly boast about their positive qualities - they exude warmth rather than talk about it, and know that actions are much more important than words. They know that trust and respect are a two-way street that requires reciprocity rather than constant indoctrination.
To combat preventive defense, think about why a person emphasizes his good qualities.
Because he thinks you don't trust him - or because he knows he's not trustworthy? Judge not by empty words, but by actions; it is actions that will tell you whether the person in front of you is who he says he is.
Causes of psychopathy
Unfortunately, it is impossible to accurately name the causes of this disorder. Scientists have not yet understood what is the catalyst for psychopathy, but they have identified several factors that certainly influence the onset of the disorder.
- Who is a psychopath? A man who has a family member with the same problem. Scientists have proven that psychopathy is inherited, which means it is one of the main factors.
- Poor environmental conditions also influence the onset of the disorder.
- If a man was a pupil of an orphanage, then there is a high probability of developing the disorder. Committing a crime or serving a prison sentence also influences the appearance of psychopathy.
- Psychopathy can develop against the background of infectious diseases such as meningitis or encephalitis. A brain tumor or head injury can also have an effect.
- Radiation, poisoning or drug poisoning are also among the causes of the development of psychopathy.
As a rule, psychopathy occurs when some character traits become stronger, while others, on the contrary, fade into the background. The problem is that psychopathy does not develop over several years. It begins to appear at an early age and only intensifies over the years.
Acquaintance
First of all, you need to find out what psychopathy is? This deviation is a pathological syndrome, which is characterized by a pronounced hypertrophy of certain personality traits, namely heartlessness, deceit and self-centeredness. Thus, in male psychopaths, the hallmarks are a lack of empathy, the manifestation of extremely superficial emotional reactions and the inability to genuinely empathize. Of course, they have emotions, but, according to experts, they cannot clearly identify them.
Types of psychopathy
After you have succeeded in recognizing a male psychopath, you need to try to classify his disorder.
So, psychopathy is divided into:
- Asthenic.
- Schizoid.
- Paranoid.
- Excitable.
- Hysterical.
- Affective.
- Mixed.
An asthenic psychopath is the safest for others. He is very indecisive, prone to introspection, often delving into himself, and is also suspicious. Due to increased sensitivity and easy excitability, he often gets involved in conflicts with others. People consider such a person to be easily vulnerable and sensitive, but they do not even realize that all these qualities are directed only inward. An asthenic psychopath doesn’t care about those around him, and at times he can surprise with cruelty.
A schizoid psychopath is in a borderline state. At any moment, his deviation can develop into a psychiatric illness. These are closed people who do not allow anyone into their little world. They do not perceive anyone's problems, are closed and try to maximize their distance from other people.
The hallmarks of paranoid psychopathy are assertiveness, aggressiveness, and narrow thinking. A person tries to manipulate people, prove something to them, aggressively defends his point of view, and also constantly monitors the lives of those around him.
An excitable psychopathic man does not limit himself in anything. He simply lacks self-control. It is quite difficult to understand how to communicate with a psychopathic husband of this type, since he reacts to any word with aggression and irritation. Such people are prone to committing crimes and often turn out to be vagrants.
A hysterical psychopath is visible at an early age. The child tries in every way to attract attention only to himself. As soon as attention turns to another person, the psychopath begins “military” actions against him.
With an affective disorder, a man easily changes his mood. It may be that during the day his mood changes several times. Or it may be that for weeks he will walk around cheerful or gloomy.
Mixed psychopathy involves a combination of several types of pathology.
About behavior
There is a myth that psychopaths are mentally disabled people. However, according to experts, this is by no means the case. Mostly psychopaths at the average level. Often among them there are people who have extraordinary intellectual abilities.
There is an assumption that Hemingway and Gogol had signs of a psychopath. In men, as in women, the disease is the result of pathology of the central nervous system. Manifests itself in emotional imbalance and lability. According to experts, the behavior of men with signs of psychopathy is openly theatrical, demonstrative in nature and often contradicts socially established norms. It can manifest itself in different ways. It all depends on the form of the pathology. For example, with severe psychopathy, a person is characterized by attacks of aggression. A psychopath with a mild manifestation of pathology controls his actions. By creating the image of a friendly person, he will easily gain your trust. At the same time, in pursuit of his goal, he successfully uses cunning and sophisticated methods in relation to close people.
What to do?
My husband is a psychopath, what should I do? If the disorder has become dangerously widespread, then, of course, you need to leave. If you doubt your actions, then sit down and think about what happened in your life together:
- Daily hysterics, initiated by the husband. Moreover, the reason does not matter. The man will never admit that he is to blame for these scandals.
- The day after the scandal, the husband behaves as if nothing had happened. Everything is fine with him, and he considers you the best woman in the world, but in the evening everything repeats itself.
- During scandals, you hear threats from him that he will kill you, and then die himself. Having cooled down a little, he complains to everyone that it was you who threatened to kill him.
- Physical strength became his main argument. In any scandal, fists are used, but as soon as you start to defend yourself, he begins to hit even harder. Even if he raised his hand just once, don't expect it won't happen again.
If at least something from this list is present, then you need to pack your things and leave. But there are situations when breaking up is not an option. In this case, we recommend that you listen to the advice of psychologists on how to live with a psychopathic husband.
Changing the subject to avoid responsibility
I call this maneuver “what am I doing?” syndrome.
This is a literal digression from the topic under discussion in order to shift attention to something completely different. Narcissists do not want to discuss the issue of their personal responsibility, so they steer the conversation in the direction they want. Are you complaining that your husband doesn’t spend time with your children? It will remind you of the mistake you made seven years ago. This maneuver knows no time or topic and often begins with the words, “And when you...” At the public level, these techniques are used to derail discussions that challenge the status quo. A conversation about gay rights, for example, can be derailed if one of the participants raises the issue of another pressing issue, diverting everyone's attention from the original dispute.
As Tara Moss, author of Speaking Out: A 21st Century Handbook for Women and Girls, points out, issues need to be specific to be addressed and addressed properly—that doesn't mean the topics raised along the way aren't important, it just means that for every topic there's its time and its context.
Do not be distructed; if someone tries to replace concepts, use the “broken record” method,
as I call it: continue to persistently repeat the facts without going off topic. Turn the arrows back, say: “That’s not what I’m talking about now. Let's not get distracted." If it doesn't help, stop the conversation and direct your energy in a more useful direction - for example, find someone to talk to who is not stuck at the mental development level of a three-year-old toddler.
Start with yourself
Of course, when a woman complains about her psychopathic husband, many people give advice, but not all of them can bring results. If you want to save your family at all costs, then try to change yourself.
Only you and your husband are to blame for what happens in your family. And how a man treats you is primarily your fault. Therefore, it is worth considering at what point the husband’s attitude changed. Maybe the fact is that you allowed yourself to be treated this way? For example, they fulfilled every wish and tried to predict the next one. The man gradually got used to it and began to take it for granted. Break his habits and beliefs today. Let your spouse understand that now your opinion and existence will also have to be taken into account. Now, instead of running at the first call to follow orders, you will mind your own business, and he will have to satisfy his own needs on his own. At first he won't understand what happened and will try to put pressure on you. If you show firmness, he will understand that it is useless and will at least begin to do something for himself. But if a man uses his fists to force you to do something, then there is no point in saving the relationship anymore, you need to leave.
About schizoid disorder. Nuances
According to experts, a schizoid psychopath has serious difficulties in interpersonal communication. This parameter is the main sign by which pathology is determined. Such a person is not at all interested in the assessment of other people; outwardly he seems cold and distant. If such a man has started a family, he simply does not know what topic to talk about with his wife. In most cases, a person with schizoid disorder has a very limited social circle. He only needs two people. He communicates with others formally.
Despite his coldness and detachment, the schizoid’s relationship with people and various life phenomena is stable. Psychopaths of this type are necessarily addicted to something. They often choose a hobby in which they do not need to contact the outside world. For example, they are interested in collecting, reading, or some kind of solo sports. Of all the signs of a psychopath in men with schizoid disorder, their isolation comes first. Many people find them interesting eccentrics. It is worse if such a person, in pursuit of his goal, imitates emotional support and interest. In fact, other people's experiences are unknown and completely uninteresting to a schizoid.
Agree
When the next hysteria with guilt begins, just agree with it. At the same time, you should not take on a repentant appearance; a sarcastic tone is enough. But we must not allow a response in the form of shouting and assurances that the problem lies with him. This behavior will only increase aggression, but with your consent you will extinguish it. If you have strong nerves, then simply try not to react to the scandal. Let him make trouble with himself, he’s unlikely to last long.
The point of this behavior is to make it uninteresting for the psychopath to make a scandal. What's the point in swearing if they don't argue with you or don't react to you at all?
Correction
Psychopathy is a mental disability, a distortion of the functioning of the ANS. Both congenital and acquired forms may occur. Only doctors, in particular a neurologist or psychotherapist, will be able to make an accurate diagnosis, having studied behavioral characteristics, conditions of personality development, and assessed cognitive characteristics. Psychopathy requires specialized treatment from a psychotherapist. It is worth considering that mild forms of this condition do not cause difficulties in the process of socialization and can be corrected.
- If a man is diagnosed with a severe form of pathology, then sedatives are prescribed. However, many young people simply refuse any treatment.
- If psychopathy is mild, then adjustments are made by a psychologist or psychotherapist. However, an important condition for successful treatment is the patient's personal desire to change. It is important that a person realizes who he is.
- Support from close circles and socialization are of great importance.
- The following treatment options may be used during treatment:
- use of psychotropic medications;
- hypnosis;
- use of antipsychotics;
- auto-training;
- use of tranquilizers and antidepressants;
- anger and aggression can be suppressed by Haloperidol;
- use of sedative drugs;
- taking antioxidants, immunomodulators and multivitamins.
Medication therapy is prescribed only for serious emotional problems. As a rule, treatment prognosis is favorable.
Now you know what a man’s behavior can be if psychopathy occurs. Remember that this phenomenon does not always indicate the presence of pathology. If a man is very dear to you, make every effort to maintain the relationship, correct his condition, and seek help from a specialist.
Do not answer
This advice regarding dealing with a psychopathic husband is similar to the previous one, but still different. The difference is that you can suppress with shouting and claims only if you are morally much stronger than your partner. But usually in such cases the man does not show his emotions again. If it so happens that you are the weak side in the family, then do not try to influence your spouse by mirroring his reaction. This will only intensify the conflict and worsen the situation as a whole.
Shaming
"Aren `t you ashamed!"
- a favorite saying of destructive people. Although it can be heard from completely normal people, in the mouths of narcissists and psychopaths, shaming is an effective method of combating any views and actions that threaten their undivided power. It is also used to destroy and negate the victim's sense of self-worth: if the victim dares to be proud of something, then instilling shame in her for that particular attribute, quality or achievement can lower her self-esteem and strangle all pride at the root. Narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths love to use your wounds against you; they may even make you feel ashamed of the hurt or violence you have suffered, causing you further psychological trauma. Did you experience violence as a child? A narcissist or sociopath will make you feel like you somehow deserve it, or brag about your own happy childhood to make you feel inadequate and worthless. What better way to offend you than to pick at old wounds? Like a doctor in reverse, a destructive person seeks to deepen your wound rather than heal it.
If you suspect that you are dealing with a destructive person, try to hide your vulnerabilities or long-standing psychological traumas from him.
Until he proves that he can be trusted, you should not give him information that could later be used against you.
Wait
Of course, when unfounded accusations are thrown at you, you need to defend your rights. But you shouldn’t do this in the midst of a conflict. Wait out the storm and then calmly discuss the problem. Firstly, your calmness will greatly surprise the man, and he will lose steam faster. And secondly, it’s easier to discuss something with a cool head, then, perhaps, you will come to some kind of decision. A scandal can kill all the best that remains in a relationship, so at such a moment sorting things out is ineffective.
Treatment
To diagnose psychopathy, a study of brain functions is used - electroencephalography and special tests for psychopathy are carried out (they can be carried out independently).
Therapy for character disorder is necessary only when pathological traits are so intense that they constitute an existential problem not only for those close to the psychopath, but also for himself. Treatment of psychopathy includes the prescription of psychotropic drugs, explanatory and family psychotherapy, auto-training and hypnosis.
Drug treatment is selected on an individual basis, taking into account personality characteristics and psychopathological reactions (a form of psychopathy).
In case of constant emotional fluctuations, antidepressants (Prozac, amitriptyline) are prescribed, and for anxiety conditions - tranquilizers (phenazepam). Hysterical psychopathy is treated with small doses of antipsychotics (aminazine), and anger and aggressiveness are suppressed with more “serious” antipsychotic drugs (haloperidol, triftazine). For sleep disorders, antipsychotics with a pronounced sedative effect (chlorprotexen) are recommended, and for antisocial behavior, “behavior correctors” (neuleptil, sonapax) are used.
Psychopaths – asthenics – need to take stimulants (Sidnocarb) or natural (herbal) drugs that have a stimulating effect (Eleutherococcus, ginseng, zamanikha).
Also, for psychopathy of any form, it is necessary to take multivitamins, immunomodulators and antioxidants.
It is important to remember that when treating with psychotropic drugs, it is strictly forbidden to use alcohol and drugs, since such a combination can lead to the death of the patient.
For the entire period of decompensation, with the prescription of treatment, the patient is issued a certificate of incapacity for work.
As for me, so do I
To achieve mutual understanding with a man, treat him the way you would like him to treat you.
Women always want to evoke admiration and awe in a man and try their best. Men want the same thing, but for some reason wives and girlfriends forget about it. They allow unflattering statements about what a man is interested in, and then they are surprised by his violent negative reaction. Better reconsider your behavior and often remind your man how good, strong and reliable he is.
In this way, you will not only prevent a scandal, but also once again remind your spouse what gold is next to him. Time will pass and he will begin to appreciate it.
Why psychopaths are considered consummate lovers
Men with personality disorders do not have feelings for women. But they can demonstrate them masterfully, showing fearlessness and self-confidence.
An ideal man appears before a woman, with whom she feels comfortable. The psychopathic partner, unlike his normal “brothers,” cannot stand time.
He closes the distance with lightning speed and immediately gets down to business. This behavior is perceived by a woman as proof of love.
Professional help
Advice is advice, but no one canceled professional help. Of course, not every man will be able to admit that there is a problem. But nevertheless, there is a chance of his consent. Begin to carefully prepare your chosen one for a trip to a specialist. You should only speak directly about the help of a psychologist when your man is in a good mood and this does not threaten to develop into a scandal. If you can convince him and undergo therapy, then there is a great chance to save your family and save yourself from the manifestations of this mental disorder in the future.
Diagnostics
Differential diagnosis involves the separation of psychopathy and pathocharacterological development. Psychopathy is formed when the nervous system is underdeveloped. Pathacharacterological development is a consequence of long-term exposure to unfavorable external factors (social environment, mental trauma and stress) on the personality.
The main influence is exerted by psychogenic factors - environmental conditions, characteristics of upbringing, the presence of psychotraumatic influences. For example, if a child grows up in an atmosphere of universal adoration and admiration, this contributes to the formation of a hysterical type of character.
Under the influence of rude, cruel, callous treatment, traits characteristic of the excitable form of psychopathy are formed. The main diagnostic method is a clinical-psychopathological study, which involves identifying the symptoms of pathology and the dynamics of its development, determining the patient’s attitude towards the disease.
Manipulation
A socially adapted psychopath can only exist normally with a person weaker than himself. Then the person will have every chance to manipulate the consciousness of a loved one. Having no feelings for his roommate, the psycho will, without a twinge of conscience, study his partner’s sore spots and, if necessary, press on them. The manipulator's partner will not notice the psychological game in which he is a pawn. Listening to your soulmate in everything, the person becomes soft and pliable, like plasticine. A psycho molds his soul mate into whatever he wants. Having tied a partner well to himself with imaginary love, the person will continue to look for benefits in life, without being burdened by his family in any way. Good mastery of manipulation will allow an adapted psycho to quickly achieve career heights and receive a good education. An intelligent person, in whose hands close people will be pawns, will be able to play any games he wants. The person will be able to mock people, use them for his own purposes, or help especially nice people. But one should not think that the help of a psycho will be the dictate of his soul. Help will be a move with the help of which the psycho will recruit admirers for himself.
