Learn to exist alone
One of the main attributes of a self-sufficient person is invariably the ability to live independently and the opportunity to do what he loves. Loneliness also has a beneficial effect on the human psyche - it allows you to relax and collect your thoughts, clear your mind of everything unnecessary.
Learn to make independent decisions
A self-sufficient person is not used to relying on other people; he tries to rely on his own knowledge and life experience, thanks to which he is not only able to make the right decisions at his own discretion, but also has an additional incentive and path to self-development - new experience.
Characteristics
The man is successfully engaged in his business, he is strong in spirit, open to communication. He can freely be left alone in a difficult situation, and at the same time he will feel comfortable. This is healthy self-sufficiency. And it’s a completely different matter when a man talks about how good he feels alone. But from the outside it is clear that he is withdrawn and not ready for new acquaintances. Such a person is afraid to make any independent decisions, constantly trying on the mask of a successful personality, under which in reality he is unhappy. This is problematic self-sufficiency.
So, let's figure out what kind of self-sufficient man he is? In a relationship with him, it’s like behind a stone wall. He is an excellent owner, a good family man and a wonderful husband. He knows very well what his woman needs. Always supports, pleases and takes care of her. Regardless of her mood, I am ready to share everything that she experiences. At the same time, in no case does he demonstrate his bad mood to others.
With such a person it is both comfortable and difficult, but only if there is a desire to manage him. Since he is resistant to criticism, he perceives it adequately, and is in no hurry to change to please others. In fact, such a person knows how to evaluate himself sensibly, and not rely on the assessment of others.
So who is a self-sufficient man?
A self-sufficient man can only be considered one who is able to lead a full-fledged existence, even being content solely with his own company. Therefore, a man who claims to be self-sufficient must be engaged not only in a profitable, but also in a profession that brings pleasure, and must have a hobby, thanks to which he will always know what to do with himself. But all this will not be achievable if a man does not have such character traits as the ability to easily tolerate loneliness, independence and responsibility, self-confidence, and determination. He may even have a little selfishness in his soul, because thinking only about other people, and never about himself, he will never be able to achieve those high goals that a self-sufficient man sets for himself and which he must achieve.
Having developed all of the above qualities, a man will definitely have a chance to become not only self-sufficient, but also achieve real success in life, but before that he needs to do two exercises:
- First exercise:
To do this, at least for one day you need to completely isolate yourself from the outside world, turning off your phone, TV and social networks, and just spend all this time alone with your own thoughts. If difficulties arise, if an insurmountable feeling of boredom sets in, then this is a sure sign that the applicant will not become a self-sufficient person, since a self-sufficient person has at least some kind of hobby, because his goal is to spend time usefully.
- Second exercise:
Here you will need to imagine yourself in a situation where the applicant will not be able to get help from anyone other than himself - moving to work or study in another country, for example. It is necessary to imagine such a situation as realistically as possible, to completely immerse yourself in it, to imagine in the smallest detail how important decisions will have to be made and problems that may arise. If thoughts about something like this do not frighten the applicant at all, then this is a sure sign that he is ready to become self-sufficient.
A self-sufficient man is not only about money and independence, since these two benefits actually make up only half of the entire image. The other half consists of unique spiritual qualities that anyone who works hard on themselves can develop.
Content
- About the term
- Characteristics
- Be near
- Why is it beneficial to be a self-sufficient man?
Greetings, my dear readers! Today we will talk about men. About those men with whom we women want to be close, who pull us towards them like a magnet. You probably already guessed which man our conversation will be about? About someone who is comfortable to be around, but not boring. This is the kind of person in whom you can feel the core, but he does not hurt, he respects the feelings of others. Of course, we will talk about self-sufficiency. Many people talk about it, but they have a vague idea of what it is.
A self-sufficient man is a dream for many women. But why, they often cannot explain it in words. Therefore, I propose to understand the concept together. Let’s also ask ourselves whether self-sufficient men need a family. After all, doubts often arise about this.
How to build relationships in the modern world
Indeed, everything in the world strives for balance. And if somewhere something is reduced, then at the opposite end it arrives. And vice versa. This is how it turned out that today male and female roles in relationships are confused. Women became hard and masculine, men became soft and feminine. Yes, probably two centuries ago this would have greatly surprised many. But in modern society completely different standards have been adopted.
Many women today not only take on the responsibilities of the head of the family with great pleasure, but also never want to cede this role to a man, for them this would mean recognizing his primacy. On the other hand, there are many men who do not at all strive for a dominant position and willingly cede this role to a woman. But even if such a man and woman find each other, it does not bring them happiness in family life.
It is possible to build a happy relationship only if you comply with the laws of nature, and for this, both partners will have to make some efforts and change their character. Only if the husband takes his rightful place as the head of the family will your relationship be viable. This is not easy to do, but it is quite possible. If a woman, of her own free will, sincerely cedes the main role to a man, if she becomes softer and more compliant, then gradually the situation will level out, like the level of water in communicating vessels. The man will gradually get used to his role and begin to fulfill his inherent responsibilities.
The same can be advised to a man. If he is not afraid of responsibility, resolves serious issues and is ready for the consequences, his wife will gradually return to the role prepared for her by nature, becoming soft and feminine.
And yet, women's influence on relationships turns out to be much stronger. It is clear why - after all, it is the woman who is the determining force in the emotional background of the family. Remember - we already talked about this. A man is the engine, and a woman is the fuel. Whatever fuel she fills it with, that’s how it will work. It is not without reason that they say that a woman’s strength lies in her weakness.
A man in a family should feel that he is respected and that his word is decisive. A woman should not decide for a man and tell him what to do. She can only advise, but not in an orderly manner. Yes, perhaps the man’s decision will not be very successful - no one is immune from mistakes. But this does not mean that you can humiliate him and highlight his mistakes, especially not. in the presence of children or someone else. If a man makes a mistake and fails, a wise wife will definitely support him. And then the mistake will not turn into defeat. Including defeat for your relationship.
If a woman makes sure that psychological comfort reigns in the family - and this is precisely her natural role - she will keep her own emotions under control and will always meet the man halfway. This will give him masculinity and strengthen your relationship.
Self-sufficiency of a woman
Women's self-sufficiency in relationships has begun to manifest itself recently, and along with it, psychological queries about fatigue, lack of emotional warmth in a couple, or the absence of a relationship have begun to become actualized.
There can be many reasons for a woman’s desire for self-sufficiency. Some people spend their whole lives trying to live up to their parents’ expectations and strive to become better, while others received psychological trauma, which is why their basic trust in the world has suffered, and now the woman has closed herself off from everyone and provides for physical and emotional existence on her own. These are sad and difficult options, where self-sufficiency is only a tool against the intolerance of life, but internal problems are not solved and pleasure does not come. Developing her independence, a woman begins to think about whether she needs someone nearby at all, because she may not receive help, and the risk of a stab in the back appears. Men feel this attitude and run away on their own, or the woman herself does not show interest in the relationship.
But there are also pleasant moments in the development of the same self-sufficiency, based on a woman’s inner confidence and desire to move in her chosen direction. Then this trait is used not as a mechanism for ensuring security, but as a way to realize one’s potential and aspirations. With this approach, one remains open to interaction with the world, the ability to hear others, but act on the basis of one’s thoughts.
A woman’s self-sufficiency, raised on confidence rather than on traumatic experiences, allows her to be interesting to others. The absence of a rigid construct about “I myself” opens up more opportunities for realization, communication, and exchange of experience. This is a steeper level of development of the skill of self-sufficiency than just the ability to survive - this is social interaction in which there is an opportunity to see another and preserve oneself.
A self-sufficient woman understands her needs and is able to find various creative ways to fulfill them that bring her happiness. Of course, this includes taking care of your body (baths and oils, rest and comfortable shoes), its health (yoga, massages, fitness, vitamins and sanatoriums) and beauty (haircuts, masks, new beads). A self-sufficient woman without her own achievements is unthinkable, and this should not be hard scientific work (although if scientific activity brings joy and excitement, then scientific work), but something that brings satisfaction (charity, home decorating, business development, baking cupcakes).
The next important element of harmonious and happy self-sufficiency is relationships (not only with a man). A woman lives in communication, and the ability to make it harmonious, constructive and pleasant indicates a good knowledge of her needs and the ability to interact. It is necessary to constantly study and improve our inner space, with the same care, or even more, with which we take care of our own body. Knowing your own needs, boundaries, desires, time and mental capabilities gives you an understanding of where and how exactly you should move, when to stop communication and when to continue, where to live, what to do, with whom to break contacts, and with whom to have children.
Self-sufficiency means relying on internal guidelines, and accordingly, you should devote a decent amount of time to studying them.
Outline your goals
Set clear goals for the year, week or month. Plan your life. The plan may fluctuate, various circumstances may make adjustments to it, but the goals set must ultimately be achieved. A person without a goal has an incomplete life.
From the above, we can conclude that a self-sufficient man is a person for whom only his own society will be enough for a full life.
Things without which there can be no self-sufficiency
In order to be a self-sufficient man you must:
- Have a profession that brings not only a stable income, but also pleasure;
- Have a hobby or favorite hobby, thanks to which you will not constantly think about what to do with yourself;
- Have some character qualities; they can be either congenital or acquired through correction of one’s own deficiencies.
What is happening in our lives
Unfortunately, in our time we often forget about the laws of nature, the roles of men and women have been leveled, and often turn out to be completely confused. When spouses do not want to fulfill the duties entrusted to them by nature in the family. this leads to all sorts of problems, financial problems, constant quarrels, alcohol addiction and, ultimately, divorce.
You may have noticed that women today constantly complain that real men have disappeared from the face of the Earth. In turn, men also do not remain in debt and claim that it has become almost impossible to find a real woman.
Not so long ago, our ancestors sincerely believed that a woman should not be primarily concerned with the house, her husband and children, and certainly not go to work or do business. However, science and art also remained inaccessible to women; it was believed that the female mind was not created for such things and, in general, for anything really serious. Although even in such an unfavorable environment, some women managed to achieve outstanding results in some areas, for example, in science, but there were only a few of them.
Nowadays, women have completely taken revenge and are not lagging behind men in anything - neither in sports, nor in science, nor in careers, nor in politics, nor in art. Yes, they won their equality, but they acquired many masculine character traits, while losing a significant part of their femininity.
The opposite situation happened with men. Now they do not need to worry about the material well-being of their family, and in some cases, some of the men's housework also seemed to be entrusted to the shoulders of women. Men have adopted many habits from women and have lost their original masculinity. Today it is believed that a woman and a man have equal responsibilities when entering into a relationship; the boundaries between the two sexes have become almost blurred. Of course, the bloody world wars also played a role in this imbalance, as a result of which the number of men rapidly decreased, and women inevitably had to shoulder traditionally male responsibilities on their fragile shoulders. Is it surprising that these same women’s shoulders have now lost their fragility and become broad and reliable.
On the other hand, modern society is structured in such a way that primordially feminine qualities have lost their value in it. Today, a woman who has achieved significant results in her career and can earn no less than a man is considered successful. Women have acquired a steely character - and without this they cannot beat a man in the everyday career race, they have become uncompromising, inflexible and can already allow themselves to go through men. Because these are the women who enjoy special success with them. Although men call such a woman among themselves with an unkind word - “bitch”. But it is usually pronounced with respect and admiration.
Unfortunately, it has become almost impossible to find a woman who would strive, first of all, not only to start a family, but also to fill it with her energy. However, men who are ready to take responsibility for a strong, long-term relationship with one girlfriend have become no less rare.
Male and female roles in relationships
Just like actors on stage, a man and a woman have absolutely equal rights in a relationship, but they play different roles. If you want to change the laws of nature, this will lead to a sad result. And there is no need to say that modern life is completely different from what it was before. A man and a woman have different approaches to life, to relationships and do most things differently. Some things are easier for a man, and some things are easier for a woman. This is absolutely normal and there is no need to try to change it; it is better to turn such peculiarities to the common benefit. You should not try to play someone else’s role, especially since it does not suit you and you were created for something completely different.
No matter how hard you try, a man will always be different from a woman. And vice versa. Figuratively, a man can be represented as a high-speed train, which inexorably moves towards its goal. Every self-sufficient man chooses his own path, his own rails, regardless of what the environment will impose on him. A man has his own goal and knows well what exactly he lives for and where he is going.
What about the woman? It can be imagined as a driver choosing the train that he likes best. The one that goes in the direction he needs. The driver cannot change the path of the train - after all, it moves along already laid rails. However, the driver can help him move in the chosen direction or stop him. Or – accelerate to maximum speed. This is her strength, her role in relationships. And the role and strength of a man is to, no matter what, continue moving along the intended path and try not to go off the rails, not to swerve. After all, then a disaster could happen.
Therefore, if a man does not have a chosen path, a rail on which he moves, or if he wiggles from side to side, the woman loses interest in him. Even if she herself provoked these turns, because she was not talented enough in fulfilling her role, she turned out to be a bad driver.
On the other hand, if a woman drives the train ineptly, does not help its movement forward, does not make its path easier, then she can turn into a burden for a man, and this, in turn, will cause him disappointment.
Nature has determined that the man in the family directs his efforts to the outside world - he interacts with it, provides for the family financially, and protects it if necessary. The woman is married - to her husband, behind his broad, reliable back, thanks to which she feels safe. But the woman, in turn, supports and inspires the man, thanks to which he can achieve much greater results in his life.
Even when he is haunted by failures or makes mistakes, a man should know that a delicious dinner awaits him at home. A home and a woman are a place where a man can relax and gain strength for new achievements. A woman’s emotional energy is the fuel that allows the engine – a man – to run.
Woman - instructions for handling (chapter for real men)
As you already understand, problems in relationships begin when men and women begin to evaluate each other’s actions based on their own understanding and ideas. Meanwhile, a woman is radically different from a man not only in the structure of her body. But also with your worldview, your inner component. First of all, a woman seeks protection from her partner; she wants him to provide her with security, to be stronger than she is. That's why she periodically asks - do you love me? Yes. this phrase has a very annoying effect on the vast majority of men, but the whole point is that a woman needs certainty, every minute she wants to be sure that you are with her and are not going to leave her. If a man gives her his reliable protection and patronage, recognizes her as one and only, she will give him what he needs. So what do you need to do to achieve this?
- Don't forget to regularly tell your woman that you find her not just beautiful, but stunning. Show her your admiration.
- Touch her and take her hand periodically, especially in public.
- Don't miss the opportunity to hug her from behind - it gives an incredible feeling of protection and confidence.
- If you see that a woman is upset, do not ask about her problems and do not try to solve them right away. Just go up to her, hug her and tell her you love her. It would be enough.
- You can’t even imagine how much any little things or small moments that cost you absolutely nothing matter to a woman. If you are not together right now, just write her a small message, for example, wish her good morning, or say “Hello”. This will show her that you are thinking about her.
- When introducing a woman to your friends, be sure to introduce her as your woman.
- If she is angry with you, go to her, hug her tightly and hold her, even if she struggles - and she will. Don't let her go until she calms down. Pat her on the head, kiss her.
- Women love touch that has nothing to do with sex (but can develop into it). That is why they willingly take part in various games, such as playful fights. And they also love to fall asleep in your arms - for them this is the best place in the world - and the safest.
- Women love to be given flowers. Not for the holidays - but just like that, without any reason. By the way, do you know what your woman’s favorite flowers are?
- When you are together in the company of friends, do not leave her bored alone, pay attention to her and emphasize that this woman came with you.
- Even if you're not completely thrilled with the gift you received from her for her birthday or Christmas, don't show it. On the contrary, try to show that you really liked the gift - after all, she chose it for you with love.
- What to give a woman? There may be three options - a soft toy that she will hug before bed, a ring or chain with a pendant that she will wear without taking it off. Or your T-shirt, which she will use instead of pajamas.
- If you don't live together yet, be sure to come to her for the weekend. Better yet, go somewhere at the end of the week, just the two of you.
- If a woman talks to you, be sure to listen to her. Even if the topic doesn't interest you too much.
