Working on yourself - what is it and where to start?

Hello, dear friends! What does working on yourself consist of? It seems to me that those people who want to become successful have already thought about this more than once. This article is an Introduction to the “Success Cheat Sheet.” In it I will share with you my thoughts on how to start changing, where to start working on yourself - everything you need to know about the first steps on the path to successful self-realization and personal growth.

The meaning of the term self-improvement

In the modern world, it is customary to engage in self-improvement not so much in young years, when a person receives an education. Now, even at 35, 40, or even 50 years old, people can start a new life. Some will be forced by life itself, teaching painful lessons, while others will want to develop themselves and gain wisdom. In addition, almost everywhere on the Internet you can find material on the topic of finding the meaning of life, “creating” oneself. So what is working on yourself, and why do you need to do something if you already had a good life before?

As a rule, a person is afraid to learn new things because it seems unknown and scary. Any change is a wave-like process. In the psychology of working on oneself, deterioration in life is noted at first. Anxiety increases, a person may begin to get nervous and worried, and want to return everything to the way it was before. However, you should not give up what you started or abandon therapy. The power over one's own destiny and future lies in the hands of the person himself. It happens that at first an unprecedented elation arises, a resource and many ideas appear, a desire to share, laugh, and express emotions. Then comes the recession. This is natural when working on yourself.

Psychologists often compare the process of improving oneself to a ladder: first there is a heavy climb, where various elaborations of internal fears and painful moments can begin. Then there is a relatively flat period, after which there is a wall again.

Something to remember! With every step, new perspectives and opportunities open up, life only gets better from year to year.

Recommendations for men

For dessert, I have prepared for you gender-specific recommendations for self-improvement. They will help highlight your strengths and achieve harmony. Let's start with men's.

Develop physically

Strength training and cardio are a must. They can be diluted with gaming and extreme sports, sports tourism, yoga. If you haven't done any of this before, start gradually.

Learn martial arts

I highlighted martial arts as a separate item, since this is training not so much for the body as for the spirit. They develop courage, patience, endurance - qualities so necessary for men.

Train your masculine character

In addition to the three listed, there are at least a dozen more truly masculine character traits. Diplomacy, endurance, ability to take responsibility, dedication and others. Think about which of these are lame in you, and focus on them.

Learn to make decisions

Every day a man has to make many important decisions. The fate of other people, for example, a wife and children, depends on some of them. If situations of serious choice put you at a dead end, you need to learn to make decisions. Otherwise, one day you will hear an offensive “not a man” addressed to you.

Where to begin

Self-development - where to start, what it is and why it is needed

What does working on yourself consist of, where to start, what steps to take initially - to realize and accept the fact that the process will require time and effort. A famous quote from Oleg Gennadievich Torsunov, a Vedic doctor, “Working on yourself changes relationships, changes fate, changes life,” shows the importance of self-improvement. Any person always learns new things on his life's journey. With every movement he learns about the world: the further he goes, the more he manages to learn. Therefore, learning new things is natural for a person.

How to start working on yourself - take responsibility for your development. Motivation should be internal, not external. You need to do it, try it, and not wait for changes and criticism from others.

In any business, the very first step is to write down your goal and plan.

Structuring your goal

Important! For some individuals, working on oneself is vital. Thus, psychological help for people with diseases of the nerves and psyche consists not only of special therapy, but also of the patient’s ability to engage in self-analysis and self-improvement. As a result of fruitful work, neurotics find a calm life, psychasthenics become less anxious.

Why do we want change?

By nature, a person strives for self-improvement. This manifests itself from birth , when the baby tries to develop independently of the will of the parents.

A small child explores the world, his curiosity acts contrary to the prohibitions of adults, but they often limit his activity, guided by safety and their own fears.

Development is genetically embedded in us. That is why, when there is no development, a person tries to replace it with alcohol, taking dangerous substances, and deviant behavior.

We want to achieve some result, leave our mark in this life . It is important for us to be known and remembered.

But unfortunately, only a small percentage of people , who were able to find their way despite criticism, difficulties, overcoming themselves, their laziness and fears.

Reasons why we want change:

  • dreams that haunt us;
  • the desire to start life from scratch, as if resetting past mistakes and failures;
  • become a different person;
  • achieve excellence in something;
  • prove to ourselves and others that we can do something;
  • do not stop in one place, but always move forward.

When a personality develops, it helps her feel happier because she is realizing her inner potential.

How to learn to work on yourself

How to find yourself and your purpose in life: what does it mean and where to start

Each person is accustomed to a certain rhythm of life. How to start working on yourself and improving if all past attempts have been crowned with failure - find a goal and motivation. You should always repeat to yourself: if you do nothing, nothing will change. As a result, a person will either remain at the same stage of development or roll back.

To a man

How a man can work on himself, achieve success and enjoy life is a pressing question at the present time.

10 men's rules of self-development:

  • The ability to relax. Young people tend to keep everything in their heads and think logically. If you “unload” your consciousness in time, then it is possible to always be in good shape and collected.

Calmness and relaxation of a man

Additional Information. For beginners in matters of meditation and psychotherapy, there is an audiobook by the English author Arnold Mindell, “Independent work on yourself,” which can be listened to online or downloaded. The book will help you do inner work without the help of a therapist, using techniques from process-oriented psychology.

  • Attitude towards people. Surround yourself with positive people.
  • Relationships with a partner. Learn to understand and hear each other.
  • Job. Understand in what path you want to develop and improve.
  • Art. The ability to receive aesthetic pleasure.
  • Sport. Develops will and endurance.
  • The science. Engage in educational activities.
  • Nature. Use it for your own purposes, walk and create more often.
  • Hobby. Expands horizons and develops talents.
  • Live not only for yourself. This is the meaning of life.

To a woman

Where to start working on yourself as a woman is to realize your femininity, femininity, and uniqueness.

Way of development:

  • Reveal yourself as a girl, your identity, talents, best qualities. Free yourself from what is stopping you.
  • Devote your morning time entirely to yourself: read a book, meditate, tune in to the day ahead.

Reading books in the morning “charges” you for the whole day

  • Feed yourself with resources. Replenish female lunar energy daily.
  • Work on internal relationships with parents and former partners.

Exercise “I Do What I Want”

In fact, this practice is not easy. Its essence is to allow yourself to indulge your own secret desires. Achieving this “permission” for yourself is very difficult. Our thinking is too blinkered by the obligatory elements of the surrounding life.


It's clear and simple. Familiar from childhood.


Difficult. Complex. Unreal.

To overcome this contradiction, we force ourselves to “want” in the “must” format.

What does this require?

  1. We decide to indulge any of our whims and desires and find ways to implement the ideas that arise.
  2. We choose a technical assistant - programs on a computer or smartphone, alarm clocks, organizers, any “reminders”.
  3. Set the signal interval every hour. And when the right moment comes, we ask ourselves the question: “What do I want now?!”
  1. We do what we want, getting maximum pleasure from it.

Drawing up a work plan

How to change your life for the better and where to start

There is nothing difficult in drawing up a plan to work on yourself. It implies constant improvement of oneself, changing life for the better. To begin with, you should start either a diary or a notebook, where the amount of work and the result will be recorded.

A diary is the best assistant in making plans and goals

Note! The path of self-development is thorny. Therefore, work is built not only with interfering external factors, but also with the inner “I”. From different equally important pieces, a single puzzle is assembled, forming a new unique personality.

Work plan:

  • Choose a direction for development,
  • Firmly believe in the result
  • Find motivation for personal growth,
  • “Awaken” willpower,
  • Stop established habits, remember the importance of new aspirations and a healthy lifestyle,
  • Movement towards the goal must be progressive, but continuous.

7.Be in the right environment

You've probably heard more than once: “If you want to be a businessman, communicate with businessmen.” This applies to any field of activity. In such an environment there is always a spirit of competition.

For example: You went to an English course, where classes are held in a group. On a subconscious level, you strive to surpass the result of your colleague.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should immediately turn away from your friends and go look for new ones. If it turns out that there are no like-minded people in your company, no one is interested in the things that attract you, do not give up. You shouldn't be led by circumstances. Look at a forum on the Internet, go to a seminar, create your own group, even if there is only one person there.

But don’t forget that you will have to create value by getting into a different social circle. You cannot receive anything and not give something in return. You will begin to grow up next to people of higher status, it will be difficult, at times even uncomfortable. Day after day you will have to overcome doubts, attacks of laziness and uncertainty, seek and absorb knowledge from everywhere. But this is the only way you can break out of the cocoon and turn into a butterfly. Who doesn't love butterflies?

Final result

You should not only study how to learn how to work on yourself correctly, but also constantly keep the end result inside. Goals must be formulated clearly, specifically, the result - a bright and defiant desire to achieve it.

What results does a person strive for?

  • Achieve harmony with your own “I”,
  • Maintain and increase your health. This is a very valuable resource, unfortunately, it is exhaustible.
  • Conquer your own fears, complexes and weaknesses.

Where to get motivation

Everyone has their own reasons for playing sports. Some people don’t like their appearance, some are overweight, and some people want to always be healthy. If a person understands why he will do this, then the energy will always be there. However, sometimes questions may arise about how to force yourself to exercise in the morning. The fact is that to do this you need to wake up a few hours earlier. Experts believe that a month of this regime is enough for a person to get used to it. It will be hard at the very beginning. However, difficulties must be endured and overcome. Then this regime will become a habit.

If a person does not know how to force himself to exercise every day, then he needs to reduce the load. Psychologists believe that daily training is possible only when the athlete has an acceptable schedule. The load needs to be increased gradually. You should also not exercise every day. A healthy lifestyle needs to be gradually introduced into the daily routine and life of an individual.

Job Analysis

What it means to work on yourself is to be able to analyze your actions.

How to analyze yourself:

  • Pay attention to your thoughts. What they were like over the past day, their content, negative or positive connotation.
  • Keep a diary where you note all the experiences of the day, what you had to struggle with. Evaluate what you have written.
  • Hear your feelings. What feelings forced you to take or not take certain steps.
  • Know your values, define and understand them.
  • Write your life story: what kind of person I am, how I see myself before and now.

You can talk a lot about self-development. However, you need not only to think, it is more important to act right now, and not on Monday or New Year. Time passes inexorably quickly; if you start moving towards your goals today, in a year you can reach unprecedented heights.

Extreme Skills

  1. Extreme survival skills can be useful if, for example, you are stuck in the mountains or lost in the forest. You never know what you will encounter, and it will be easier to know what to do in different situations.
  2. Rock climbing will help you overcome your fear of heights and conquer not only mountains, but also many men
  3. Self-defense, including physical techniques and ability to handle weapons - an air pistol, a stun gun, a gas spray. You are the most valuable thing you have, and it needs to be protected.
  4. Extreme driving, in my opinion, should be included in standard driving school training. There is so much to deal with on the roads...
  5. Parachuting is perhaps the dream of many. They say that after a parachute jump you begin to look at your life completely differently.
  6. Paragliding will allow you to do the impossible and take off into free flight like a bird. And if you make friends with the wind and learn how to control a paraglider, you will be incredibly cool!

And someone goes to work every day on ski lifts and flies like a bird!

Here are collected a total of 109 skills that are worth learning in life.

Yes, it is hardly possible to master all of the above in your entire life, even if you are destined for a hundred years! And if it works out, then you will become a human legend 8-). But with this list, you always have something to strive for, right? And there is certainly no room for boredom!

It's a funny paradox: the more we learn, the more we feel like we don't know anything. Why? Because new knowledge increases our viewing angle, and we notice what we did not notice before. Who knows, perhaps a new skill will become your life’s work? Or your favorite hobby? You won't know until you try!

I hope my article inspired you to new achievements! Add it to your bookmarks so you don’t lose it, and share it with your friends using the buttons below. And also subscribe to my blog, because this is where I will talk about how I mastered this or that skill from scratch. If you like self-development, this will be interesting!

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11. Play sports

Nothing disciplines like sports. Running, going to the gym, dancing, football, curling, and whatever else you're passionate about is a great way to keep yourself in good shape. In addition, when playing sports, the hormone of happiness is produced. And there's a lot more going on! A kind of electric shock to enhance perseverance, patience, concentration, self-confidence and emancipation. A toned butt and the ability to stand in a plank are a small bonus).

But, seriously, playing sports has a wonderful effect on your health. Then there were only advantages: blood circulation improves, the heart works well, the risk of having a heart attack at 40 is significantly reduced, hair becomes stronger, complexion improves, and wrinkles run away in horror. Our brain begins to work with accelerated force and promotes memory development.

Based on all of the above, it can be noted that sport gives us the necessary energy. Which we invest in our potential, leave our comfort zone and move towards the beautiful. That's why all successful people go in for sports.

12. The price of words

If you give your word, then you need to keep it and fulfill it, like all agreements. It is important to strictly follow your promises. Don't be late for scheduled meetings, they will simply stop trusting you, and this will lead to a breakdown in relationships. Put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and imagine how you will feel. If you are going to be late, call and let us know.


These universal tips will not solve your problem, but will make it much easier:

  1. Prioritization. Choose the direction that is most important to you and do not waste your energy on secondary goals.
  2. Awareness of the brightness of life. Due to the fast pace of life, a person sees reality in gray tones. But to feel the fullness of the moment and the diversity of the world, you just need to stop and look around.
  3. Concentration of attention. Increasing the level of self-control allows you to “tame” your brain. He will stop wandering from one thought to another, and you will be able to concentrate on a specific subject.
  4. Write it down. Ideas on paper become more tangible. This way you won’t forget about them and won’t lose sight of them.
  5. Environment. Communication with positive, successful people has a huge impact, inspires and gives strength to move on.

Films for self-development: top 5 best

Now we invite you to watch these films for self-development

. They will help you strengthen your motivation, better understand yourself and your desires, believe in your strength and be inspired for new achievements!

1. The Incredible Life of Walter Mitty.

“To see the world around, to know its dangers, to look through walls, to find each other, to become closer, to feel - this is the purpose of life.”

A story about how even the most incredible dreams of a “little man” can be turned into reality if you decide to take the first step towards life.

2. Eat, Pray, Love.

“It happens that loss of balance from happiness is an important part of the balance of life.”

The heroine of the film decides to change her life, she leaves everything and goes in search of happiness, discovering the world around her and revealing herself. Be sure to watch this film, maybe just such self-development

will suit you best.

3. Amelie.

“When the finger points to the sky, the fool looks at the finger.”

Self-development and self-improvement

can be a little strange and very sweet, like the main character of this colorful story. One fine day she decides to bring happiness to people, and, according to the law of the Universe, she herself becomes happy.

4. Haven't played the game yet.

“The ancient Egyptians believed that at the gates of heaven two things are asked: 1) Have you found joy in life? 2) Has your life brought joy to others?”

A slightly sad, but at the same time inspiring story about how two elderly people, at the end of their lives, decide to go on a trip around the world.

5. Pursuit of happiness.

“If you have a dream, you must protect it. If people can't do something in their life, they will say you can't do it in your life! If you want something, go and get it!”

The true story of the success of Chris Gardner, a single father who had to go from homeless loser to millionaire.

10.Change your daily routine

All successful people take care of their health. They get up early because... the time to complete tasks increases. You need to eat right, don’t eat a sandwich on the run with water, but make every meal healthy. This is important because your mood for the whole day depends on it.

You also need to change your habits during the day and constantly perform them. For example, read a certain amount of time and a certain number of pages every day, keep a diary or blog. Record and tell others about your results. Get yourself a new hobby, collect puzzles or buttons, take pictures of everything red. When something grabs you, you can't stop. Start dousing yourself with cold water, this will increase your energy and you will be able to work more productively. But remember that it must be done correctly!

14.Love yourself

Remember the main thing is that all actions must be performed only for yourself.

Give yourself a reward for completing these tasks. For example, if you write a few more chapters of a future book this month, then treat yourself to a day at the SPA.

Love yourself for who you are. How can you love yourself if you have the opposite attitude towards yourself?

8.Read books

And what kind of learning and self-realization without literature?

Books are an important part of a person. Reading trains the imagination, improves memory, and relaxes. Using books, you can study your niche and become a pro in it. There are many great books for self-development. I will share them with you).

  1. "Be the Best Version of Yourself: How Ordinary People Become Extraordinary" Dan Waldschmidt

Stories force you to act, change, and see your life from the outside. It contains many examples of ordinary people achieving incredible results.

  1. “Get out of your comfort zone. Change Your Life: 21 Methods to Increase Personal Effectiveness" Brian Tracy

The title itself defines what needs to be done, and the book tells how. In addition, everything is written in simple language and inspires heroic deeds.

  1. “Eat the frog. Or 21 ways to learn to be on time" Brian Tracy

Another book by an author already known to us. If you are always late, then this manuscript is exactly what you need. You want to be everywhere on time.

  1. “Find yourself. How to go beyond stereotypes and find your path" Lou Aronica, Bob Deutsch

The authors will talk about the need to stop lowering the standards and bring your skills to the ideal.

And this can be done ad infinitum. There is so much information around, so many opportunities to grow and conquer the world. So why not use it?

And how can we not mention the books-biographies of people who grew up before the eyes of the whole world. They blurred all boundaries and went towards the wind.

  1. Stacy Schiff "Cleopatra"
  2. Richard Branson "Losing My Virginity"
  3. Steve Jobs "iLeader" Steve Jobs' 200 main rules for success"
  4. Anna Feltsman "Black Poster"
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