What are beliefs?
Beliefs are stable beliefs and knowledge formed during a person’s life, which no longer require additional confirmation and determine his actions and actions.
Beliefs are a person’s system of views on certain situations, form his attitude towards them and his reaction to them. By passing through all the information coming from outside, beliefs create a picture of human reality.
Our EGO is also based on a belief system (will open in a new tab). It really doesn’t like not knowing something, not being able to do something, or being wrong about something, so it relies on its worldview, formed by “favorite” and convenient beliefs.
- You are kind and cute
- But the star will tell you this:
- I am an unusual man...
Beliefs are stored in our subconscious, so discovering them is not always easy. We live, most often, without thinking about many of our beliefs and without even realizing their existence. Most beliefs are not “in plain sight”; they are not protruded or voiced in everyday life.
Beliefs are formed to simplify our lives. They allow us to quickly and correctly understand the flow of information coming from outside without the need to subject every word or situation to complex analysis. Thanks to our knowledge and beliefs, we know how we need to perceive and react to certain external signals.
Based on our beliefs, we can allow ourselves to experience psychological comfort and feel safe. It seems to us that we know everything and can cope with any (or almost any) situation. Especially if you have the conviction that “language will take you to Kyiv.”
Destructive career ideas
Have you noticed how many talented, gifted individuals in your circle who know their profession well, are best versed in the material, but, alas, do not occupy leadership positions. What do you think is stopping them from succeeding? Certainly! Internal beliefs. And here is a small list of them:
- To get a promotion, you need to have a higher education, but I don’t have it, so I’ll always be an ordinary employee.
- Only true professionals can succeed. To be like them, I need to have three higher education degrees, defend a dissertation, take a lot of advanced training courses, and perhaps then I will begin to put my skills into practice.
- Under no circumstances should you upset your family. I must go to the educational institution that my parents want and advise.
- You need to try or start something when you are young. At 30, 40, or especially 50, it’s too late. Old people are not in demand anywhere.
How are beliefs formed?
Most of our beliefs are formed in childhood, on the basis of adopted parental beliefs and attitudes, other information received and personal experience acquired.
Our entire life ultimately depends on our beliefs - academic success, career, material well-being and family happiness.
Parental instructions and attitudes play a special role in the formation of beliefs. For a child experiencing a completely new world, the parent is perceived as God. He knows everything, can do everything and will save you from everything. Therefore, most of the information received from parents is taken on faith and becomes the truth for the child.
Some beliefs are formed through one's own life experiences. The child develops, learns everything new, acquires skills, finds himself in different situations, learns to react correctly to them, and accepts the appropriate knowledge and rules that add up to the general system of his beliefs.
In adolescence and adulthood, a person continues to constantly acquire new knowledge. He studies, reads books, communicates with other people. Knowledge that he “likes” and fits into the picture of his reality becomes his beliefs.
Some beliefs may disappear or be replaced by others in the course of life. Some do not change throughout life. The older a person is, the more difficult it is usually for him to change his beliefs.
What types of beliefs are there?
“All men are assholes,” 18-year-old Tanechka is convinced. Yes, and mom said so... Dad abandoned them with mom when Tanya was 2 years old. My stepfather drank a lot, was very rude and raised his hand to my mother. When he died, my mother dated other men, but it didn’t come to marriage.
“The world is so beautiful and amazing!” - Marina is confident. She works as a biologist at a research institute.
And I am convinced that “only one who knows how to defeat an opponent, first of all in himself, becomes a champion.” It’s a bit long, of course, but I remember - it’s still a conviction! This was written all over the wall in the pool where I trained 2 times a day for 10 years. Therefore, I believed in it long before I understood the meaning of such wise words.
Beliefs, like any words, can be very diverse. Some beliefs are common to many people, for example: “it’s easy to catch a cold in a draft.” Some are more rare, for example: “if you pick up a toad, you will get warts.” And some are very rare or even isolated: “there are ears above the forehead.”
As we have already found out, beliefs arise with some meaning in order to bring us some benefit. Some beliefs played a useful role in childhood, but have been preserved and continue to serve us in the future. Often doing a disservice.
For example, so that we would not fool around by riding the elevator, my mother convinced us that “the elevator is dangerous.” Elevators often get stuck and fall down, killing people. We stopped riding in elevators as children, but as adults we developed an unreasonable fear of elevators or, in general, a fear of any enclosed spaces (claustrophobia).
Thus, the belief that elevators are dangerous became harmful and unnecessary for us as we grew up. And we can have a lot of similar beliefs.
Look at your life. Does everything in it happen the way you want? If not, then you have beliefs that are preventing you from making your life the way you want.
We live the way our subconscious wants (will open in a new tab). It is this that determines 90% of all our actions and our lives. And the subconscious is filled with beliefs. It turns out that everyone has exactly what they want in their life. Only he himself is not aware of this.
Realizing that you have any harmful beliefs, you can consciously remove these beliefs or replace them with others that are more useful.
You can quickly identify beliefs that are harmful to you in my sessions
Other negative attitudes in love
There are other negative life beliefs that prevent us from enjoying unions or, in general, entering into a relationship:
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- All men are bad. Usually such prejudices are formed on the basis of bad experiences. Unworthy options come across all the time. In all relationships, the same scenario will be repeated until the woman realizes the urgent need to get rid of established principles.
- It’s not only girls who speak negatively about the stronger sex. Men are also full of thoughts that women are mercantile and they only need the financial part of the union. The presence of such an idea leads to the fact that the guy programs himself for a scenario where he will definitely come across ladies who are not indifferent to his wallet.
- “I am unworthy of true love and happiness.” If you have such an association, seek help from a specialist. I will help you get rid of limiting foundations and restore faith in yourself, sign up for my consultation. As soon as such a woman meets a good man, she plagues him with suspicion, jealousy and uncertainty about his sincerity. Relationships are full of quarrels and clarifications. Often such couples break up on the initiative of the lady herself, who has come up with too many problems for herself.
- “There is no romance in the world now.” There are no such ideal relationships as in the old movies. The modern romantic approach is no worse than the past.
Limiting beliefs - what are they?
The purpose of limiting beliefs is to keep us away from everything new, unknown and excessive. If in childhood the parents said to the child: “Why did you choose such a big verse for yourself? You won't be able to learn it! Choose a smaller poem!”, then the child will most likely form the belief: “you shouldn’t take on something new and difficult - nothing will work out.”
Such a belief will limit this person in life, will not allow him to reveal all his abilities and realize himself to the fullest. He will refuse an interesting but difficult project proposed to him. He will not try to implement his idea if it seems to him that it is not easy to do.
The belief “the best is the enemy of the good” can prevent you from realizing the desire to do something even better. “Better a bird in the hand than a pie in the sky” helps some women endure harmful and humiliating relationships.
Common female misconception
Beliefs cover many topics. But one of the most common topics remains the topic of interpersonal relationships. Many girls say that men cannot be trusted. In ancient times this statement may have made common sense. By adhering to this idea, a woman could protect herself from extramarital affairs, which were strongly condemned by society, unplanned pregnancies, and illnesses. In addition, she could successfully marry and maintain her reputation as an unapproachable woman.
Now everyone has access to effective methods of contraception, and they look at the face of the opposite sex much more confidently.
Beliefs about money
It’s not bad when beliefs limit us in drinking alcohol: “drinking a lot is harmful.” It’s worse when beliefs limit the amount of money you have, which you constantly lack: “money is evil.”
Those who grew up in the Soviet Union remember the lines of the poem: “no matter how much a rich lazy man smells, he smells very bad, guys.” No one wanted to be a rich quitter back then. Then, of course, many were able to cope with this belief... And some still believe in it.
Everyone has heard the expression “money doesn’t buy happiness” since childhood. If you take it on faith and make it your conviction, then it will be difficult to get rich. It is also difficult to be happy knowing that “only fools are happy.”
In general, if you constantly lack money, it is worth working on your limiting beliefs regarding money and material things in general. But first, of course, you need to discover them in yourself.
On the negative nature of material possessions
I will describe the most banal but well-known principle “Money is evil.” The expression originated in the revolutionary years, when being well off was tantamount to executions and murders. People persecuted by the new regime were afraid and knew for sure that if you were rich, they would definitely come for you. Then this expression wandered from generation to generation and for a long time was commensurate with generally accepted methods of survival.
After difficult years, silence came and a new era of market and economic relations arrived. The installation became irrelevant, because having money allowed an individual to receive a good education, quality medical services, the latest technology or housing.
Replay the situation
Sometimes they resort to trance or in-depth study of thinking in order to return to the origins at the moment when a person formed a parting message. For example, parents often taught that those who have wealth are definitely swindlers. You should find a refutation of this principle, because even among your friends there are many individuals who managed to make a fortune with their own brilliant mind. Another example: “My mother considered all men to be crooks,” this means that she was simply unlucky to meet the one.
Getting rid of destructive ideas
Sooner or later, parting words from within begin to significantly harm a person. He is content with the little he has. He loses the opportunity to move on, constrained by established boundaries. How to get rid of imaginary attitudes? The first step is to learn to notice the root of beliefs. For example: when a difficult situation arises, and you set yourself up to “I can’t”, you need to cast aside doubts and tell yourself “oh no, I will succeed.”
We should imagine the opposite of what consciousness imposes on us, trying to eradicate the negative. Of course, achieving success in a matter of days will not be possible. Sometimes it takes psychologists years to rid a person of principles that he has used for decades. Every new thought must be challenged. Who said that it is impossible to do what was planned? Why should everything happen this way and not according to another scenario? I build my own life - everything planned will happen according to my desires, any other development of events is unacceptable.
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Negative attitudes that parents instill in their children
Almost everyone has prejudices that interfere with life in adulthood, but were formed while living with parents or relatives. Such principles are most firmly fixed in the mind, because a person has been guided by them for decades. You may recognize yourself in the following list:
- my onion grief;
- you are exactly like your father;
- if you are not flexible, you will not communicate well with your peers;
- You are so selfless, you are ready to give away everything you have.
About myself and life
In addition to the above two categories of restrictions in the personal and professional sphere, there are also those that relate exclusively to our personality. Eg:
- I've been so unlucky since I was born. That's why nothing works for me.
- Beauty standard 90x60x90. My figure is far from these parameters, so I will never be considered beautiful. She hasn't grown up yet.
- Each person thinks only about himself and his own benefit in a certain matter.
- The world is definitely designed in such a way that some have everything, and others have nothing.
- Everyone carries their own cross.
- Being is running in a vicious circle.
Method from NLP: “Meta-Yes” and “Meta-No”
Simple steps can change your thinking to a positive one:
- It is necessary to identify the limiting principle and rate it on a scale from 1 to 10.
- Imagine it as a physical object - a tent, a stone, a billboard with an inscription.
- Choose any thing to which you say a firm no. For example, would you sell your soul?
- Practice saying this firm refusal without shouting.
- Then return to the limiting principle to which you have given physical form and say your Meta-Net. Do this until it is far beyond the horizon.
- Next, imagine the person you always say “yes” to. Mom, dad, child, husband, sister.
- With your Meta-Yes, lure the positive attitude so that it comes closer.
- Give this “yes” a physical meaning and fix it in your head.
- Check how old the understanding is still relevant using the same scale from 1 to 10.
- Repeat the above steps if necessary.
