What is self-control and how to cultivate it in yourself?

Any processes or actions need control, otherwise they can lead a person in the wrong direction. Disciplining others is never difficult. It's even easier when they control you. But what if the control function falls on your own shoulders? What is self-control and how difficult is it to master this technique? Is it possible to learn this on your own? Why is self-control important? What techniques are effective? Does a self-monitoring diary help? How to fill it out correctly? Let's try to become disciplined together.

Self-discipline: instructions for development

Achieving goals is impossible without self-discipline. It is an extremely important attribute required for the acquisition of any personal quality, sportsmanship, virtuosity in art and business or, as a result, outstanding work. Having self-discipline means being able to make decisions, take necessary actions and stick to your plan regardless of obstacles, discomfort or difficulties that may arise. But to develop self-discipline, it is necessary to create certain conditions. You will learn about them from this article. Read more…

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How not to lose your composure

If things have reached a difficult moment, a person feels that he is on the edge, you can do the following. Feeling tension, an individual needs to mentally stop and feel himself physically. What does he touch, what does he stand on, what does he sit on? They focus on this until the tension drops. Even if adrenaline has already been released into the blood, you need to continue to feel yourself and follow the breathing technique. You can put your working hand on your stomach and concentrate on your warmth. Literally a minute turned to yourself will smooth out negative emotions.


Self-control is the shortest path to the goal

Self-control is rarely mentioned as a character trait that is characteristic of any person who wants to lead a calm life without shocks. Psychology notes the importance of understanding that self-control is not the ability to suppress emotions. It is necessary that they do not accumulate, therefore, in the art of self-control, it is necessary to learn the correct, adequate perception of stimuli in order not to consider them as such at all.

Self-control: what it is and how to develop it

The modern high-stress world places special demands on psychological stability. Nowadays it is not enough to be smart and sociable. It is very important to be able to control your desires, feelings and emotions. First of all, negative ones that interfere with achieving goals. This requires self-control. In this article you will learn what it is, why it is important and how to develop this skill. We will also talk about the difference between self-control and self-suppression and how to distinguish one from the other. Read more…

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Meaning in everyday life

Unfortunately, not enough attention is paid to the importance of self-control. Many people cannot figure out how to develop self-control and what benefits it will bring. Many people live as they feel comfortable. However, the conditions and qualitative characteristics of human existence do not always correspond to wishes. In this case, it is appropriate to study the topic - how to learn self-control. Self-control forms a sense of purpose in a person, helps to fight laziness, hot temper and other negative emotions.

Important! Self-control techniques are necessary in the fight against bad habits, because by showing self-control, a person strengthens his will and through self-control becomes the master of his life.

Examples of self-control in everyday life:

  • wake up in the morning so as not to be late for work;
  • form and distribute the budget;
  • raise children.

Types of self-control

Types of self-control are determined in accordance with certain factors:

  • psychological characteristics of a person;
  • the social environment in which a person is raised.

There are two types of self-control:

  • individual behavior used to resist attraction to any stimuli (self-control in this situation helps to resist negative consequences that develop over a long period);
  • human behavior in situations related to overcoming unpleasant situations, obtaining benefits and improving health.

Self-control: developing self-control

According to Wikipedia, self-control is the ability to control your emotions, thoughts and behavior. It is based on will - the highest mental function that determines a person’s ability to make conscious decisions and implement them. It can also be trained and improved, which requires specific methods and strategies that will help you resist or avoid temptation. Yes, these are two fundamentally different ways. The first is considered hardcore, effective and incredibly difficult to implement. The second is perceived by many as weakness, because how can you train willpower and self-control if you simply avoid temptations? But it is both methods in combination that work perfectly. Read more…

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Self-control during exercise

Athletes who engage in physical exercise professionally know for certain that they need to constantly monitor themselves during exercise.

Self-monitoring cannot replace an examination with a doctor, but it will be useful as a supplement. With its help, a professional will be able to evaluate the results of training and personal endurance. This approach will allow you to introduce coordination of loads and a regime for visiting the gym.

The athlete’s self-control is based on monitoring a set of criteria that make it possible to assess the picture of well-being, namely:

  • sleep productivity;
  • emotional mood;
  • presence of appetite;
  • health indicators;
  • desire or unwillingness to attend training;
  • weight change;
  • pulse;
  • presence of fatigue;
  • assessment of breathing under stress and at rest.

Analysis of this data provides a detailed understanding of the overall condition of the athlete's body. At the slightest suspicion of the presence of deviations, it is necessary to consult a doctor who will identify a complete health record and provide useful advice on self-control (observance of a daily routine, balanced diet, personal hygiene).

How to control your emotions: rules and exercises

The issue of managing emotions will never lose its relevance. The ability to restrain emotions (control anger, rage, aggression, etc.) will be useful everywhere: from ordinary communication with family and friends to resolving work issues and conducting business negotiations. If you know how to always control yourself and maintain composure, we can only be happy for you. But there are people for whom this is very difficult, and this article is intended to help them master this skill, which is useful in everyday life. We will also talk about why we need to control emotions at all and which ones need special control. Read more…

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The Art of Self-Control

Methods of psychology - what is it, definition

Having understood what self-control is, we can talk about what it’s like to have it. First of all, it is worth noting that the development of this quality in itself requires endurance and patience to overcome certain obstacles and break old habits.

Internal resistance

In an attempt to apply self-control in order to start doing something new, for example, jogging in the morning, the entire body will resist the new decision, giving preference to the old way of life (getting another “five minutes” of sleep). This must be overcome by improving endurance.

Diffidence

She, too, will have to resist giving in to improve herself and achieve her goals. The body always needs some time to get used to a new regime and circumstances, gradually increasing self-confidence.


Self-control leads to self-confidence

Confrontation

A person must be able to refuse his own desires if they diverge from his goal. With the example of the notorious jogging, it happens that others begin to suggest noisy parties “until the morning”, trips on vacation for several days. All this will interfere with a cheerful morning awakening, so you will have to refuse. In addition, close friends will always support the individual in his endeavors and will be understanding about vacationing without him.

Motivation and Self-Motivation: A Guide to Development

The importance of motivation and self-motivation manifests itself in one of two cases: when a person is ready to study and work for hours without stopping, and when it is given to him with great difficulty. Everyone wants to be productive, but motivating yourself every day is incredibly difficult. There is no easy way to teach yourself to wake up in the morning with sparkling eyes and a desire to achieve your goals. Therefore, this article is intended to collect all the most important and interesting things in order to help you understand yourself and your motives. We will look not only at motivation as such, but also go through different areas of life where it plays a special role: sports, study and work. Read more…

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How to develop self-control

Self-regulation - what is it, definition

People are increasingly thinking about how to learn self-control and self-control. There are a number of techniques that will help you gradually develop these qualities. They have established themselves among the stars of show business, as well as ordinary people in need of additional moral help. A person can choose one specific method or use several options that suit different situations. The main thing is to regularly improve your skills and not give in to anxiety.


You need to learn calmness

Knowing what self-control means, developing it is easier than it seems. Among the main methods are acceptance, yoga, meditation, preliminary preparation and the so-called letting go.

Adoption

It is not without reason that they say that one person is irritated in another by a shortcoming that the first has. It is not enough to know your weaknesses, you need to accept them. An individual who reacts inadequately to criticism must work through this issue. Anyone who does not know how to lose must learn that “bitter experience is also experience.” Acceptance is not suppression of emotions, but self-improvement.

Yoga

It includes a set of physical and breathing exercises. Yoga will help an individual control his entire body, and with it his mind and emotions.

Meditation

Learning to distance yourself from an irritant in a timely manner, reflecting the negative and taking positive from the outside are important self-control skills. Having found peace of mind, a person pulls himself together, becomes more confident and bolder.

Preliminary preparation

This can be called a necessary trick, a trick. In order not to encounter surprises, to avoid provocative questions that can throw an individual into a stupor, he must collect information in advance, as well as “go through” other people’s experience. Before meeting with relatives, friends or work partners, you need to find out about the latest events, important moments in their life and work. Then no one will be able to confuse the individual with a sudden question.

Letting go

Many people are held tightly by past experiences. If something resembling unpleasant events appears on the horizon, the individual panics and experiences nervous tension. This needs to be worked out, perhaps with the help of a specialist.

Ways to self-motivate

Self-motivation is an internal struggle between “confidence” and “fear” - you either achieve a lot or lose everything. Also, self-motivation is a set of methods, techniques and exercises that set in motion an internal engine that helps you solve complex problems and conquer any heights, but only if you are focused and self-confident. The “executioner” of motivation is uncertainty, inaction and lack of clear plans. In this article, we will look at several effective self-motivation exercises and give recommendations that will help you learn how to motivate yourself. Read more…

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Some useful tips for self-motivation

Do you ever feel like you don't want to do anything? It’s not that I’m lazy, I’m just not in the mood, there’s no energy not only for active, but even for inactive actions. But you can always find the strength to surf the Internet, read VKontakte news or watch a TV series. So where do you get the energy to do anything worthwhile? In this article we will not just talk about motivation, but look at examples of people whose motivation is simply off the charts. They had many times fewer initial opportunities, and the results of their activities were higher than those of the majority. Read more…

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The Science of Self-Control - 6 Ways to Strengthen Willpower

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Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., psychologist, professor at Stanford University, author of Willpower. How to develop and strengthen? (The Willpower Instinct), says that the ability to self-control is the response of the human brain and body to sudden impulses and desires:

“Willpower is a person’s reaction to internal conflict. For example, you are overcome by the desire to smoke another cigarette or eat a larger portion for lunch, but you understand that this cannot be done, and with all your might you resist momentary weakness. Or you know you need to go to the gym and pay the utility bills that are collecting dust on the coffee table, but you’d rather be lazy.”

It took evolution millions of years to form the prefrontal cortex (the area of ​​the brain located just behind the frontal bone of the skull), which controls absolutely all the processes that distinguish humans from animals. If we assume that the human brain is inherently strong in decision-making and self-control, then how to train self-control and what can be done to improve its “standard equipment”?

  • 10 Amazing Facts About the Brain

For many years it was believed that the structure of the brain was unchanged. However, the results of research conducted by neuroscientists over the past decade have shown that the brain, like a student thirsting for knowledge, is very sensitive to any experience gained: force yourself to solve calculation problems every day - and your brain will become stronger in mathematics; Learn and recite long poems - and you will significantly speed up the processes of memorizing and reproducing information.

For example, adults, learning to juggle, accumulate gray matter in the parietal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for coordinating movements, and children playing musical instruments have much better developed fine and gross motor skills than their peers.

Self-control is no exception to the rule. Today, scientists know a huge number of ways to strengthen willpower. Some of you, dear readers, are probably now thinking about temptation traps, such as chocolate bars in the dressing room or the minibar near the exercise bike. It is obvious that by resorting to such methods, you can not only develop the ability to self-control, but also strengthen the nervous system. :)

Today we invite you to familiarize yourself with simpler, but no less effective ways to develop willpower, proposed by Kelly McGonigal and other psychologists.

  • 8 facts about the influence of music on brain function

Willpower depletes throughout the day

A characteristic quality of willpower, according to McGonigal, is its limitation, because every successful manifestation of endurance and self-control depletes a person’s energy reserves:

“When we try to control our bad temper or ignore irritating factors, we draw strength from the same resource.”

A series of experiments described by psychologist Roy Baumeister in his book Willpower: Rediscovering Man's Greatest Strength led him to come up with the intriguing hypothesis that self-control is like a muscle: if you don't give it rest, you'll lose control. Over time, you will completely lose your strength, like an athlete who has brought himself to exhaustion. Some researchers, including Kelly McGonigal, believe that willpower, just like the human body, can be developed through special training, which will be discussed below.

How to learn self-control and strengthen willpower?

1. Stress management

The first step towards self-control is stress management, since their biological basis is completely incompatible. Being under the influence of prolonged nervous tension, a person uses his energy resources irrationally, which negatively affects the functioning of the prefrontal cortex and aggravates the fight-or-flight state. In stressful situations, we act instinctively and make decisions based on immediate conclusions, while self-control requires in-depth consideration and analysis of the current situation.

In this case, how to achieve self-control in a stressful situation? When you feel stressed and tired, take a couple of deep breaths and try to distract yourself from your thoughts - this practice, according to McGonigal, will be a great start in the fight against chronic stress.

  • How does stress affect brain size?

2. “I can’t” vs. "I don't"

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, one way to gain self-control and strengthen willpower is through self-affirmation. A great example is the difference between the impact on a person of using the phrases “I can’t” and “I don’t.”

In the above-mentioned experiment, 120 students were divided into 2 groups, one of which had to refuse a sentence using the phrase “I can’t”, while the second had to say “no” by starting a sentence with the words “I don’t”. For example, “I can’t eat ice cream” or “I don’t eat ice cream.” After completing the study, participants were offered a free treat: a chocolate bar or a muesli and walnut bar. The students, unaware that the experiment had not yet reached its logical conclusion, made a choice and received the desired snack. As a result, 61% of students who answered “I can’t” chose a chocolate bar over a granola bar, while students who answered “I don’t” chose a cereal bar 64% of the time.

“Every time you tell yourself, ‘I can’t,’ you create a feedback loop as a reminder of your limitations. This phrase once again emphasizes that you are forcing yourself to do something that you don’t like.”

How to gain self-control? The next time you have to give up something, use the wording “I don’t” so as not to remember once again that you can’t do something. :)

  • How to use associative memory in internet marketing?

3. Healthy sleep

McGonigal notes that chronic sleep deprivation has a profound effect on the efficient functioning of the prefrontal cortex:

“Lack of sleep—even if you sleep less than 6 hours a day—is a stressor on the body, affecting how your body and brain deplete available energy resources. As a result, the prefrontal cortex loses control over other areas of the nervous system and cannot protect you from stress.”

Fortunately, the psychologist also says that all this is reversible:

“Once a person gets enough sleep, repeat brain scans will no longer show any damage to the prefrontal cortex.”

How to increase self-control through healthy sleep? Professor of psychiatry Dr. Daniel Kripke, who has devoted a number of scientific papers to sleep problems, writes that people who sleep about 7 hours daily work much more productively, feel happier and live longer. :)

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4. Meditation (at least 8 weeks)

How to maintain self-control? According to a study conducted by Kelly McGonigal, eight weeks of daily meditation practice led to increased self-awareness in everyday life, improved attention and increased gray matter in the corresponding areas of the brain.

“You don’t have to meditate your whole life—you can see positive changes in brain function after just 8 weeks of practice.”

5. Sports and healthy eating

How to improve self-control and your physical fitness? Another great way to develop willpower is sports, and it doesn’t matter what level of exercise we are talking about - be it a walk in the fresh air or a full-fledged workout in the gym. For the brain, it makes no difference what kind of activity you choose: gardening, yoga, dancing, team sports, swimming or weightlifting - in this case, anything that goes beyond the typical sedentary lifestyle increases your willpower reserve.

The second independent measure that also needs to be taken is a healthy diet:

“It’s best to eat foods that can provide you with long-term energy. Most psychologists and nutritionists advise giving preference to foods that help maintain blood sugar levels at the same level. It will likely take some self-control to start moving in this direction, but any effort you make will improve your brain function.”

Sports and healthy eating not only strengthen willpower, but also have a positive impact on a person’s overall well-being. In particular, during physical activity, the hormone endorphin is released in our body:

“Endorphins minimize discomfort during exercise, block pain and promote feelings of euphoria.”

6. Healthy procrastination

How to train self-control while being lazy?:) In the previously mentioned book, Willpower: Rediscovering Humans' Greatest Strength, Roy Baumeister explains that repeating to yourself "not now, later" can help you free yourself from internal torment, especially when it comes to trying to break bad habits (for example, eat sweets while watching movies).

  • Is it worth fighting procrastination, or a guide to orderly distraction

Marshmallow Test

Finally, I would like to talk about one fascinating experiment conducted for the first time in 1970 by Stanford University professor, author of the cognitive-affective theory of personality Walter Mischel.

The test is carried out to measure the willpower of children aged 4 to 6 years. The essence of the experiment is as follows: a child is taken into a room with a hidden camera and seated at a table on which lies one marshmallow. The examiner tells the child that he can eat it now or wait a while without touching the treat and receive another marshmallow as a reward.

In the original version of the experiment, out of 653 participants, more than half succumbed to temptation and did not put off the opportunity to eat marshmallows.

Watch the video to see how this happens. :)

The experiment was last conducted in 2012 by psychologists at the University of Rochester.

High conversions to you!

Based on materials from blog.bufferapp
08-01-2014

Negative motivation: definition, techniques, examples

Often as a child, we heard similar phrases from our parents: “You won’t sit at the computer until you do your homework,” “You won’t get candy until you eat porridge,” “If you don’t clean your room, you won’t go for a walk.” And, as a rule, our parents achieved what they demanded of us, and this happened due to the fact that they influenced our strong desires, directly pointing out that we might not get what we wanted. This technique is one of the aspects of negative motivation. Why is it worth resorting to? What does this achieve? Is this useful? We answer these questions in this article. Read more…

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How to Maintain Composure

A discussion of what self-control means requires examples of how to maintain it. Parents need this quality. When a child is capricious and makes every effort not to write a school essay on his own, a parent who has self-control will not allow himself to raise his voice at the child, just as he will not do the task for him, being able to explain why he needs to do it himself.

Self-control - what is it in psychology, definition

The ability to control yourself can be called an art. Losing self-control even for a short moment is not good. Then a piggy bank of negative emotions will “open”, which is unacceptable - they need to be “converted” into positive ones.

Note! Psychologists say that it is impossible to live only with positivity, as if there must be a place for negativity.

Therefore, you need to learn to perceive difficulties correctly, and not react to them sharply. Today, an important element of personality is stress resistance, which involves facing difficulties, short deadlines for completing work, and competition. A person with self-control knows how to adequately perceive criticism and not succumb to provocations. Even at home and communicating with friends, restraint is needed so that jokes and provocations do not enrage the individual.

Online program “Mental self-regulation”

In this online program, in just 6 weeks, you will learn to cope with stress at work and school, difficult relationships in a team, anxiety and fear before important events, apathy, difficulty taking the first step and procrastination. We have collected scientifically and practically based techniques and presented them precisely from the point of view of real application in life, and also tried to give the necessary minimum of theory and more games, tests, and exercises that will allow you not only to gain knowledge, but also to develop skills. Find out more...

The ability to motivate yourself and control your mental states is a skill that requires a thoughtful and serious approach to master. We think that this collection of articles will help you find such an approach and bring it to life. We wish you success!

We also recommend reading:

  • Storytelling
  • Interesting things about cognitive distortions
  • Self-control and self-motivation
  • Best of the year. Part two
  • Self-discipline: instructions for development
  • How to Develop Long-Term Focus
  • Self-control: what it is and how to develop it
  • How to understand how a person feels
  • How to control your emotions: rules and exercises
  • Self-control: developing self-control
  • Types of thinking

Key words:1Psychoregulation

The concept of “self-control” includes many components:

  • ability to plan your activities;
  • the ability to organize your work process productively;
  • the ability to compare one’s actions with generally accepted norms;
  • the ability to “play by the rules”, act according to an algorithm;
  • the opportunity to evaluate your actions, the results of your work, your mental state;
  • ability to find errors and correct them;
  • the ability to stop in time and avoid possible unpleasant consequences;
  • analysis of one’s own activities, search for weaknesses, self-education and improvement.

It is obvious that self-control is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon, and the formation of self-control skills is a long process, requiring a systematic and individual approach.

Self-control skills begin to develop even in older preschool age. However, younger schoolchildren, when starting their studies, cannot yet exercise sufficient control over their own activities. Therefore, the formation and development of self-control skills is the most important task of teachers. Teachers and parents monitor the child’s work, then the student himself is asked to check his deskmate and find errors in the teacher’s text. Gradually, adult control weakens and the child adapts to monitor his activities independently.

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