How to become kinder? Due to the commercialization of most goals, kindness disappears from everyday life, and is condemned by many, called spinelessness. Therefore, this quality, highly valued previously, has soared in price today, despite the truth of its manifestation against the backdrop of bitterness. Even girls, whose nature initially contains less aggressiveness (hormonally), notice changes in their reactions, hear criticism from elders and look for advice on how to become kind.
Kindness is not about immediate actions, rather it is a life concept of actively bringing a piece of light into the world, without selfish expectation. Knowing how to become kind and sweet, and showing kindness, a girl attracts (or creates) an aura where she can breathe easier and happier; those around her also feel it, she becomes more optimistic and funnier, looks better, and becomes healthier. But, in addition to such things that can be explained by a logical relationship, events also occur when a good deed is rewarded, albeit not directly by the same person, and not by the same form of help, but having done something good, good comes in return. Here you will believe in the karmic laws of the universe and in energetic justice, although it can be explained by the attraction of what is emitted and by the desire of people to be closer to kindness.
Is kindness a weakness or a quality of the strong?
There is a lot of debate about whether kindness is inherent in strong people or whether this quality is characteristic of the weak. People who believe that kindness is the lot of the weak who are taken advantage of, confuse it with naivety, excessive gullibility and softness. Goodness is often coexistent with these traits, but this is not necessary.
It's never too late to become kinder, while gaining considerable strength. You will get rid of negativity and evil in your soul, you will not assert yourself through aggression and you will not respond with hatred to an unworthy act. You will rid yourself of negativity, making life easier. Many people do not understand such kindness, but anger does not elevate them above their problems - it is easier to live for the kind.
Only a strong person can afford to become kinder. It's easy to be indifferent and distant. To do good deeds, you need great strength of spirit, which deprives you of selfishness and self-obsession. Socrates declared: “Nothing can harm a good man, either in life or after death.” Think about the saying. A strong person is ready to forgive, thereby being condescending towards the weaknesses of others.
Always say "thank you"
People are strange creatures: it costs them nothing to casually offend or laugh at someone. But to say words of gratitude for some is comparable to humiliation. One of my friends never says “thank you” to his wife when he gets up from the table. To thank, in his opinion, for example, for dinner, is a manifestation of lackeyness. Well, what can I say: the boy was raised poorly by his parents. His wife has been trying for years to eliminate the costs of raising him, but to no avail.
Meanwhile, the word “thank you” is not considered magical for nothing. Yes, you yourself know: once you say it, you always receive polite treatment and good wishes in return. So don’t be shy to thank everyone from whom you receive a service or show of concern. Thanks to this word, the world becomes kinder.
Should we be kinder and more tolerant?
Patience and kindness will serve you well more than once, but it is not always possible to become kinder and more tolerant with only one desire.
How to acquire these qualities?
- Buddhists say this: “Only the patient plucks ripe fruits
. Try to understand why you are intolerant of others. Often a person perceives his own opinion as the only correct one, fiercely condemning all those who disagree. Acceptance of others is also hampered by a heightened sense of superiority and inflated self-esteem. Perhaps it's a defensive reaction. Understand what causes intolerance and realize how many problems it causes. - Often look at the situation through the eyes of other people
. Try to understand their motives, put yourself in their shoes. - Try to be friendly to others from the beginning
. Approach positively when communicating with old and new acquaintances, do not be hostile to any previously unfamiliar phenomena or casual acquaintances. - Learn to control negative emotions - they lead to disastrous consequences
. Someone may be briefly offended by a carelessly spoken word, while others may turn away for a long time or forever. Before you react to something that surprises or upsets you, count to ten and collect your thoughts. Try to share your own point of view as correctly as possible. - Having realized anger, do not immediately try to suppress it in yourself - this will only do harm
. You can release negativity on a piece of paper by writing down all your thoughts and indignations about it. - Are you annoyed by someone but want to be kinder to them?
Try to find positive qualities in people who irritate you, and the anger will begin to recede. - Accept the world around you, look for the positive in it
. Accept people, but if this is not possible, don’t waste your time, ignore those who irritate you.
My experience
Good books and good advice from knowledgeable people helped me - I chose several of my friends who I considered positive and kind, and followed their recommendations. At first it was not easy, and then a natural shock happened to me - it was as if my eyes were opened, I began to see how much indifference there was in me and in those around me. The desire to change this gave me strength, and I still try to spread goodness around me.
It's not as difficult as it seems - you just need to be a little more attentive to the world. Every day I ask myself - what can I do today for the world and other people? How can I help our planet become a better place? And you know, the answer is always there.
Sometimes it’s an old lady who has no one to talk to - I patiently walk her from the store to the entrance and listen to her simple news, sometimes it’s volunteer work (I also help an animal shelter), sometimes it’s just something good - planting flowers around at home, look after the neighbor's kids.
My relationships with my family and loved ones have also changed. I can’t say that there are any drastic changes, we have always been friends, but now my parents have begun to truly trust me - they know that I will always come to the rescue. And my little sister is not afraid to share her secrets with me - because now, instead of sarcastic comments, she receives support and love.
How to become kinder and calmer towards people
Do you feel the need to become kinder?
We recommend effective methods:
- Train your empathy skills
. Learn to empathize with at least simple expressions: “I understand you,” “I share your feelings.” At first the process will be mechanical, but then you will feel that you have really begun to understand the other person more. - Do you want to express yourself negatively, say something unpleasant, or respond rudely?
To become kind, restrain yourself in such seconds, stand in the place of your opponent. Look at the situation detachedly, as if at a film frame. The degree of tension will decrease, the answer will be more friendly. - Becoming a kind person is not difficult if you develop the best qualities in yourself
. Sometimes remain silent, feeling the desire to say something unpleasant, once again do not pay attention to something negative. Do not impose your point of view, do not give unsolicited advice or criticism. After talking with you, a person should feel light, not burdened. - Every evening, write at least a mental thank you to the person who said something nice to you during the day or helped you in some way
. Didn't this happen? Apparently, you are used to focusing only on the negative, and do not notice even the slightest manifestation of the positive.
Useful practical materials for those who want to become kinder
So, let's move on to a selection of useful materials. I want to start with one rather expensive thing. Two days ago my ninth reader purchased it. I did not receive a single negative review about this device, there was not a person for whom it would not suit.
The name of the device is neural interface. It is needed to analyze the electromagnetic oscillations of your brain. Scientists have long established that electromagnetic oscillations will differ in different emotional states. One type of hesitation is when you are relaxed and calm, another is when you are angry, angry at someone, the third is when you are scared.
The neural interface is expensive – 11,990 rubles. But in my opinion, this thing is better than most courses or books that you will purchase in search of answers to your questions. The device will help you look inside yourself, and the Vikium platform, after analyzing the work of your head, will select personalized recommendations for you.
You can purchase the device separately, or you can purchase it together with a personal development course. I'll recommend a few of the best below.
Brain fitness
Description. This program is sold only complete with a neural interface; there is no point in mastering it separately. It does not focus solely on kindness, but develops qualities that collectively help a person become more kind.
When you complete the training, you will learn to easily control your emotions, not to get irritated, and not to let anger take over you. In addition, you will improve your thinking abilities, learn to easily concentrate on the tasks at hand, develop your imagination, etc.
You will constantly use the neural interface during the learning process. Moreover, I recommend doing this when you are in different emotional states. Turn on the device when you return home from work, then in the morning, on a day off, and so on. Watch yourself.
Authors: developers of the Vikium project.
Cost: 12,990 rub.
Find out more and start learning
Brain Detoxification
Description. Brain detoxification will help you figure out what exactly makes you an evil person and prevents you from becoming a good person. You will understand why you always “shrink”, cannot relax with the people around you, or take a step towards them.
The teacher will tell you how to remove all negativity from your head. If now you think that the world is cruel, dangerous, that others cannot treat you with kindness and therefore you respond to them in kind, after “detoxification” the situation will change dramatically.
A neural interface is not required for this training program. You will find here a huge number of practical exercises, simulators, techniques and various other useful things that you can use in a variety of life circumstances.
Authors: developers of the Vikium project.
Cost: 990 rub.
Find out more and start learning
Emotional intellect
Description. This course will teach you to understand emotions much better and not give in to them if you don't want to. You will learn why some people always seem kind to us, while others seem evil and rude, and you will see the subconscious reasons for your reaction to the actions of others.
The training program will not only teach you not to be irritated, but will also help you develop many other valuable qualities. In particular, you will learn how to conduct a dialogue correctly and understand the microexpressions of the faces of others, how to recognize deception and lies when communicating with a person of any age, how to interact with people of different psychotypes.
Author: Oleg Kalinichev
Cost: 990 rub.
Find out more and start learning
For now, these are all the courses I can recommend to you. If you know other high-quality programs, write about them in the comments, I will supplement the article.
How to be a kind person
Do you want to become a kind person?
Put these simple tips into practice:
- Remember the times when you realized that a person was kind to you, generous, caring about you
. Remember all the episodes, placing them on a piece of paper in chronological order. Do the exercise: sit comfortably in a chair, completely relax. Think about those situations, imagine them, visualize them, try to return to that state of gratitude and joy. Keep your breathing deep and even. Immerse yourself in these memories every day for 5-7 minutes. Every day will pass with a feeling of goodness, you will be charged with it. - It is important to become kind not only to others, but also to yourself.
. Don't criticize yourself, don't infringe on yourself, don't be shy. Be more tolerant and kinder to yourself.
- Surround yourself with supportive people
. How to become kinder if there is criticism, resentment and misunderstanding around? Get rid of a society that humiliates and devalues you, otherwise there will be no strength left for kindness and empathy. A person under emotional pressure spends energy on resistance and retaliatory attack.
Don't conflict
This does not mean that you must always give in in everything. No, we are against compromise. There are situations in which it is important to be able to defend your position. But most conflicts arise practically out of nowhere. Don't waste your precious time and energy on unnecessary bickering. Remember that some people may deliberately provoke you into conflict in order to feed on your spiritual energy in the heat of confrontation. If you see that the reason for the discord is insignificant, you should not persist - give in to the other side, and thereby you will maintain peace of mind, which you will need for more important matters.
Developing kindness - advice from psychologists
There are several simple ways to develop kindness in yourself:
- Give communication gifts to others
. Give compliments, praise - gratitude and a palette of positive response emotions are guaranteed. Do you encounter indifference and disagreement with kind words? Don't stop, keep practicing. - Be kind to your loved ones: praise them, appreciate them, thank them
. Some people are charming and sweet in a distant circle, but unbearable tyrants at home. Do you feel tempted to be a good-natured person in the eyes of your friends? Show a similar desire in your close circle. This is more difficult, but show maximum effort: provide support, show attention, interest. Instead of criticism and unsolicited advice, remain silent. Is the situation unchanged? It’s too late to lament and advise - support the person. Was it a difficult and stressful day? Don't take your anger out on your loved ones. - Negative attitudes waste your strength and take away your opportunities
. Only a strong person can afford to show kindness. Get rid of the cynical and poisonous inner critic who stops you and blames you: “Where are you going,” “You’re not worthy of this,” “You won’t succeed,” “There are ungrateful boors around you,” and so on. A similar thought flashed through - come up with an alternative positive attitude, focus on it. Think more often about pleasant moments, good people, watch good films and cartoons - bring more goodness into life.
Have a sensitive heart
To feel empathy for someone, you must show compassion. With empathy, your compassion begins in your soul and goes beyond sadness. You internalize the thoughts, feelings and experiences of someone else.
To make it clearer, let's give an example. Imagine the situation. You feel sympathy when you see a homeless woman sitting in the cold with her child. You'll probably think, “How sad. She must be cold." You kindly offer her a cup of coffee and continue your day as if nothing had happened.
Now let's imagine a different situation. You see a homeless woman sitting in the cold with her child and notice the despair on the mother's face. You can imagine how hard it must be to sit in the cold all day to get even a little money for food. You imagine what the poor woman might be thinking, imagine yourself sitting in the place of a mother with a child, feeling the cold in your body, hoping that your child does not get sick. You transfer the situation onto yourself, although in fact you are looking at what is happening through the window of a warm car. This is called empathy.
So that luck follows: when starting any business, I say this prayer
Honey and stevia instead of sugar and other tips on how to eat healthy in the new year
Stars of Russian cinema whom we lost in 2020
You can even offer to spend the night at your house or give them some money for food. To be a kind person, you must have empathy.
What is the danger of uncontrolled rage?
How does anger harm the person who is angry? Uncontrolled outbursts of anger pose a serious danger to humans.
An angry person's blood pressure increases significantly, which can trigger a heart attack, as well as rupture of blood vessels with subsequent hemorrhage.
Rage is especially dangerous for people with cardiovascular diseases.
is also dangerous . Suppressed anger can lead to coronary heart disease. It also weakens the immune system, leads to the development of depression and generally shortens a person’s life expectancy.
In addition, a person prone to aggression and irritability has problems with socialization, with his perception by society.
As a consequence, there is an inability to build good relationships with others, a lack of understanding and the possibility of self-realization in society.
Are there pills for irritability?
Is it possible to remove anger with medication? In medicine, pills for anger and irritability are called sedatives .
The principle of their action is to reduce the excitation of the central nervous system, due to which a person’s emotional background is stabilized and it is easier for him to achieve calm.
The following sedatives :
- of plant origin - based on valerian, passionflower incarnate, motherwort, peony, St. John's wort;
- combined herbal preparations from several plants - Persen, Fitosed, Novo-Passit, Dormiplant;
- alcohol sedatives - Volocordin, Corvalol, Valosedan, Sedariston, Valocomid;
- bromine- based preparations - Adonis Bromine, Bromcamphor.
There are also more complex and powerful sedatives, but in order to purchase them, you need a consultation and a doctor's prescription.
Little tricks
This is something that will help you be nicer than you think you really are. Take note of them, as they can brighten up your shortcomings.
Your voice and manner of speech will help you look better if you learn to speak softly, while exhaling, and not raise your voice
Why is this so important? The fact is that a person’s manner of speech when communicating with him is immediately visible. Agree that, first of all, a person who is soft, quiet, and calm begins to be more impressive than a loud (even cheerful) talker! In addition, this inimitable way of speaking with aspiration is important for a girl.
Just don't overdo it! There are some ladies who are used to rolling their eyes languidly and talking to everyone like that, even to the potato sellers at the market! Apparently, this is how they feel the fluids of their own sexuality. But remember, you want to be nice, not loose and approachable (which is what a girl's voice communicates if she speaks in this manner).
Body language is important. What it is? Again, not to be confused with seductively licked lips, outstretched legs. No. Every gesture of a sweet girl is a cute gesture! Gentle! Smooth! Flexible! Timid! Her movements are calm, but flexible. She easily and beautifully tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. He casually tilts his head to the side to look, gently turning his head. A sweet girl walks with an elegant gait, measured and light. She's good at every move. We must strive for this.
Habits of a lady (etiquette, hobbies). Any person needs to learn the rules of etiquette, and especially a girl who has decided to become nice. It is often easier to win people over if you know how to behave at the table, know how to respond in conversations and conversations, and can easily create an atmosphere of comfort, peace, and beauty. In addition, it is important to understand that a nice girl cannot have overly “active” hobbies. No, this does not mean that she should only sing, play musical instruments, cross-stitch or dance gracefully at balls. It’s just probably difficult to call a representative of the fair sex that if she wears a helmet on a motorcycle or is passionate about edged weapons. Remember: a sweet girl is always restrained, calm, and moderate in everything!
