21 magical days: how easy it is to develop a habit in three weeks

Habit is a wonderful servant, but a disgusting mistress, says popular wisdom. And this can be considered the key to managing your life. A bad habit poisons our lives for years, but a good one will last for many years. There is an opinion that the formation of habits is due to the formation of neural connections in the brain. And in order for this neural connection to be created, it is necessary to repeat the same action for 21 days without a break. This is the minimum period for consolidating a habit at the level of neural connections in the brain. Then, over time, the neural connection becomes stronger, and the longer we follow our habit, the more difficult it will be to change it. And this works with both good and bad habits.

There is an opinion that our choice is not always our choice. The fact is that there is a version that about 40 percent of our daily actions are a matter of habit. But what habits we cultivate in ourselves is always our choice.

For example, we were all taught to brush our teeth from childhood. And for most of us, this is already an automatic process that does not require any volitional effort. And, for example, in Islam it is customary to pray five times daily. And for most Muslims this is already at the level of habit. Another question is that when this process is carried out mechanically, the meaning and efficiency are perhaps somewhat lost, but this is another problem. In any case, it is better to repeat the prayer mechanically five times a day than to turn on the TV five times a day out of habit.

Why are habits needed?

Aristotle also said: “We are what we do all the time.” A person can be characterized by his habits. If you want to work productively, you need to plan everything every day. When you want to get in good shape, you need to make it a habit to exercise every day.

If you make a difficult decision every day (go to the gym, read a book, study English), you end up doing none of it. Useful things should become a habit and be performed automatically every day. Only in this case can you gain self-satisfaction and pleasure from the work done.

How to force yourself to change

First of all, carefully determine for yourself why you need a new habit. Realize the benefits of purchasing it. A long and successful path to acquiring new correct and planned skills allows a person to gain faith in himself and his strength. You need to take this path fully prepared and take the process seriously. Accustoming to a positive habit can take the form of a game, an argument, or a promise. But whatever format you choose, at the initial stage it is important to decide that you are doing this not for someone else, but for yourself. The attitude towards the very idea of ​​getting a new habit should be serious and balanced.

Believe me, you deserve to be better and you have the power to overcome the bad habits that are the lot of weak and weak-willed people. And at this stage, when thoughts about the possibility of self-improvement appear in the head, everyone has the right to seek support, whoever - from a mother, a friend, a colleague, a stranger on the Internet, a confessor. Believing in yourself and your strength will help you survive, and good habits that replace negative ones will make life brighter, healthier and definitely more interesting. Because a good place is never empty. Replace bad habits with healthy ones, and you will see the effect yourself.

Ways to develop a habit

The following recommendations will help you achieve what you want:

• To develop a habit, you need to motivate yourself. Think about how life will improve if you succeed. What will you lose if the habit is not developed? Write down the answers on paper and re-read them when you give up. You can even print them out and hang them in a visible place.
• There is no need to try to radically change your life. Develop one habit at a time or replace a bad one with a good one. When the goal is achieved, you can begin a new task. Write down everything you want to do on a piece of paper, indicate a realistic time frame for when you will implement it. Once a habit is formed, cross it off the list and move on to the next one.
• Start with something that doesn't scare you too much. No one forces you to achieve everything in one day. For example, do exercises for 1 minute every morning, gradually increasing the time. This is also effective in forming a habit. Don't think that you don't have willpower and nothing will work out. It is trained in the same way as muscles.
• Record your achievements. Even minimal progress will give you strength, make you smile and allow you to move on.
• Reward yourself for success. It doesn't matter if it's very small. Make a purchase related to your achievement.
• If you miss a day, don't give up. Keep moving towards your goal. Nothing bad happened.
• Sometimes give yourself a fasting day. On these days, do whatever you want. You can follow habits or not. This will help you recharge your batteries and begin completing tasks with renewed vigor.
• Try to have fun in the process. Otherwise, you will wait your whole life until the good habits end and you can relax. If your actions don't feel good, find another goal.
• Tell your loved ones about your plans. If you want to abandon your goal, then the opinions of others will stop you. It's unlikely that you want to look like a weakling in other people's eyes.
• Come up with a system of fines. The punishment must be significant. To make it easier to complete a task than to refuse it.
• Make a list of reasons that may prevent you from achieving your goal. Write them down on a piece of paper and come up with a way to prevent interference.
• Take action! Don't leave things for later. For example, I’ll start playing sports on Monday, next month, year, etc.

Why goals are important

The best way to create a block is to combine actions related to your life requests. There is no point in multiplying random habits that do not make sense to you personally. Each of them should be related to your goals. The easier it is to build a logical system out of them.

We all have different goals. Therefore, there is no right answer to the question of which habits are important. However, practice shows that almost every task can be classified into one of the following categories:

1. Career. The goals of this category are related to increasing labor productivity, increasing capital turnover, and moving up the career ladder. Whether you want to improve a job skill or improve the structure of your business, career goals are important because they directly affect the other six areas of your life.

2. Finance. The older you are, the more important these goals are. Alternatively: save for retirement, improve your credit history, pay off credit card debt, make long-term investments.

3. Health. By achieving these goals, you will be able to maintain good physical shape and adhere to proper nutrition. There can be many subgoals in this category: lose weight, start choosing healthy foods, diversify your diet, exercise.

4. Leisure. This category of goals is associated with activities that are important to you personally. Often we have no time for this: we have enough other worries. However, if you always deny yourself pleasant things, this will affect your quality of life. Examples of goals: plan a vacation, spend more time with loved ones, find a hobby (say, brewing, hunting, cooking, drawing).

5. Organization of life. These goals will help you organize and unload your life. For example: to put things in order in the environment so that there is nothing superfluous in it, in particular, regularly clean the house and get rid of things that have ceased to bring joy.

6. Relationships. The goals in this category are related to improving relationships with people who are important to you, for example, family and friends. You can improve your social skills, find a romantic partner... and just work on your character to make it easier to communicate with you.

7. Spirituality. This area has a special meaning for each of us. This includes meditation and prayer, yoga and helping others, auto-training. By and large, this category includes everything that helps to find peace of mind and harmony.

As you can see, you can set different goals. That's why it's important to track what's truly important to you. For this purpose, questions are useful, to which we will now move on.

How to develop a growth habit

The book helps a lot in its development:

• As you read them, make notes in pencil and highlight key points.
• Write down all unfamiliar words in a notepad. After reading the chapter, look up their meanings in encyclopedias and dictionaries. Read the passage again, this time understanding the entire text.
• Always use context (footnotes with explanation from the author or publisher).
• Become familiar with literary devices (e.g., metaphor, hyperbole).

If you develop languages, do it with a native speaker. For example, chat with him on Skype for 30 minutes every day. Set yourself a realistic goal. For example, learn English perfectly before the summer in order to go on vacation to the USA.

Habit Hub healthy habit tracker program

I would like to recommend a good application that will help you track the process of habit formation. It's called HabitHub.

Habit Hub App Features

In the free version, you can only track 5 habits.

Habithub is based on Jerry Sanfield's productivity strategy - don't break the chain! Every time you perform a habit, the chain grows longer. You'll end up building a very long chain. Your only job now is to keep the network growing. Skipping a habit breaks the chain that has been built.

This application helps not only to formulate a habit, but also to describe it, establish motivation, determine the frequency of performing the action (for example, exclude weekends), and also, if necessary, set a reminder for yourself.

In this app, you can organize your habits according to different aspects of your life by categorizing them.

All data is visualized in the form of graphs, which helps to get an overview of how well we performed.

In addition, you can set a goal (for example, 30 days of continuously waking up at 5 am) as well as a reward when it is achieved.

What working on my habits looks like in Habit Hub

I’m sharing my habits that I have already formed and are working on right now:

1. Get up at 5 am
2. Morning rituals (diary/warm-up/meditation)
3. Productive hour of morning work
4. Jogging and strength
5. Session 90.90.1
6. 2 liters of water per day
7. 2 fruits a day
8. English words (5 approaches)
9. Read 20 minutes
10. Evening rituals for getting ready for bed

Right now I’m honing to perfection the habit of performing a session of evening rituals before going to bed: summing up the day, planning the day in the evening, preparing fruits and clothes for the next day.

How to develop a reading habit

To develop a reading habit, you need to enjoy the process as much as possible:

• follow the content, try to understand the meaning of each paragraph;
• if some words are unclear, look up their meaning on the Internet or in a dictionary;
• take your time, read at a comfortable pace;
• always have interesting reading material on hand (you can download literature on the Internet);
• Find a time and place to read (for example, your favorite chair at home);
• set a goal for yourself (for example, read 50 pages per day);
• look for publications that relate to your preferences in life;
• listen to the recommendations of friends when choosing a book;
• read world classics;
• Before reading, read the critics' opinions about the book;
• make a list of literature you want to read and set a deadline for it;
• read to children every day (if there are none, you can volunteer in orphanages, correctional institutions, etc.);
• Participate in book exchange programs (you can find them on the Internet);
• go to book fairs;
• create a reader's blog.

This will make it much more enjoyable for you to develop the habit.

conclusions

Let me summarize the information presented in this article.

Main points:

1. The habit is formed over 66 days of daily continuous work.
2. To go 66 days without cheating, you only need to work on one habit.
3. Habits can be combined into slots of several habits following one after another.
4. Before you start working on any habit, complete a written 7-step analysis.
5. Don't forget the 4-P rule.
6. We eradicate bad habits by replacing the reaction to the trigger that provoked them with a new action.
7. We use the Habit Hab app.

How to develop the habit of not eating after 6

Simple ways to avoid eating after 6 pm:

• Don't do this for company. This usually happens when meeting friends. While talking, you yourself may not notice how you accidentally ate a piece of pizza. Eat a hearty meal before 6 p.m., so that after six you don’t want anything.
• Write down in your diary how many calories you got or read about the energy value of the dish you want to eat after 6. This will curb your appetite somewhat.
• Don't keep your favorite food at home so you won't be tempted to eat a little after 6 p.m.
• Often it is not hunger that makes you break out and eat in the evening, but stress. Try to calm down without eating, breathe deeply, drink a sedative.
• Curb your hunger with water. An adult needs to drink at least 1.5 liters of liquid daily.

Fighting bad habits

Another pressing question: “How to overcome bad habits?”

The answer to this question lies in the basic habit formula: Trigger - Action - Reward.

In order to get rid of a bad habit, it is enough to replace the action that represents the bad habit with a new habit.

In fact, you can only get rid of a bad habit by replacing it with a new habit.

Here is a list of dangerous habits that it would be good to get rid of:

1. Eat after 20:00 - replace with a light dinner before 19:00
2. Pick up your phone an hour before bed and in the first two hours after waking up - replace it with a system of morning and evening rituals.
3. Overeating - replace it with conscious eating with a little attitude.
4. Eating fast food and other junk food should be replaced with consciously eating healthy food.
5. There are a lot of sweets - replace them with fruits, nuts and dried fruits.
6. Going to bed late is replaced by getting up early.
7. Replace eating while looking at your phone with mindful eating.
8. Waste money - replace it with financial planning and daily financial accounting.

How to develop the habit of waking up early

If you don't need to get up early, you're unlikely to develop this habit. Therefore, you need to set a goal for waking up early. For example, child care, sports, control over business development, etc.

You can do in the morning what you usually leave until late in the evening. Then the actions will be more productive, because you will be cheerful and full of energy. In addition, early in the morning it is unlikely that anyone will distract you from your studies.

Recommendations on how to train yourself to wake up without problems:

• get up immediately after the alarm sounds;
• Find a lifting partner and call each other every morning;
• wake up 5 minutes earlier every week until you get the desired result;
• come up with a pleasant morning ritual to make it easier to wake up (for example, a fragrant cup of coffee);
• sleep at least 7 hours, go to bed no later than 22:30.

Remember, all successful people got up early.

The main difficulties of forming new habits

In my personal experience, forming a new habit is very difficult and requires persistence, consistency and focus over a long period of time.

I have identified five main factors that strongly oppose the development of a new habit.

Lack of patience for an action to become a habit

The first steps towards forming a new habit are usually taken in a state of inspiration, when someone’s example or article motivates them to “take up their minds.” But this state does not last long. We very easily compromise with ourselves, giving ourselves slack long before the action becomes a habit.

Therefore, the development of a new habit must begin with a firm decision to go all the way to the very end, no matter how difficult it may be .

The Power of a Negative Habit

Often forming a new habit has the hidden purpose of breaking another bad habit.

For example, we decide to eat three fruits every day, because before that we always snacked on buns and cookies.

In some cases, the power of a bad habit is so strong that the development of a new behavior model stops after 1-2 weeks of trying to work on oneself. We become “captive” to dangerous habits.

Understanding how a bad habit works will help you replace it with a new one.

Breakdowns during habit formation

Another obstacle to developing a habit is our unwillingness to resist “rally”. Missing a few days depletes our motivation, we lose focus on the habit and, as a result, “merge.”

Such breakdowns occur due to unforeseen circumstances, as well as simply when, in the daily bustle and multitasking, we forget about working on a habit.

The danger of failures is that failure to achieve a goal “erodes” our confidence and faith in our ability to achieve results.

If we had a clear algorithm of actions in case of failures, we would most likely be able to continue further.

Trying to change too much at once

Before starting any business, I remember the phrase: “People greatly overestimate what they can do in one year, and greatly underestimate what they can do in ten years.” This quote fully reflects the approach to habit formation.

For some reason, some people believe that in one month they can radically change their lives by forming a lot of useful habits.

But practice suggests that small but constant improvements and systematic work ultimately lead to greater results than trying to tackle everything at once.

“Small, daily, seemingly insignificant improvements ultimately bring stunning results.” R. Sharma

Loss of motivation during the habit formation stage

We make changes through motivation and our willpower. At first, when we are inspired, motivation works. But when motivation weakens, you have to turn on willpower.

Lack of motivation during the period of habit formation leads to failure, unless willpower is turned on at full capacity.

Thus, the seemingly simple process of developing a habit turns out to be much more complex, requiring good discipline, high motivation, patience and hard work.

How to develop a self-care habit

This habit is usually developed in girls at an early age. An example of how to take care of yourself is your mother.

If this does not happen or the passion for beauty disappears for some reason (for example, you are too tired, you have small children, etc.), it needs to be developed again.

Find time that is just for you. Enlist the support of loved ones who can take care of the child at this moment.

For example, clearly decide for yourself that every day at 20:00 you do masks and scrubs. At 6 am, while the child is sleeping, take a shower (an additional incentive to instill a desire to get up early). Go for a manicure once every 3 weeks. Once a month for a haircut. This is a pleasant activity and an addiction will develop fairly quickly.

Rule 4-P

In addition to these seven steps, I suggest using the 4-R rule, which applies not only to the process of forming a new habit, but also to any other matter.

First “P” – Gradually

When starting the process of forming a new habit, start small at first. It’s better to start slowly, and then increase the amplitude, than to shoulder the “elephant” and fall crushed by it.

If we consider this rule in relation to the habit of getting up early, then it is better to start waking up first at 5:45 am, gradually moving the time 5-10 minutes earlier than waking up at 5:00 am for a couple of days, and then sleeping until 7:00 am for the whole week. .

Second “P” – Constantly

Forming a habit requires consistency. Every day we must take one more next step.

When practicing getting up early, we should try to wake up at the same time every day, without “rallying”.

Third “P” – Consistently

The word “sequentially” itself means “following someone’s footsteps.” That is, when developing a new habit, we must act systematically, following a certain algorithm.

Fourth “P” – Positive

We form a habit with pleasure. If we view the habit formation process as a game, we will not only become the owners of a new habit, but we will also make it fun.

Getting up early should definitely be a pleasure. Focusing on things that are not only useful, but also things that interest us, makes early rises so desirable.

How to develop the habit of keeping your back straight

Correct posture is a very useful habit. It promotes health:

• reduces the load on the spine;
• strengthens the muscles of the upper body;
• improves digestion.

In addition, a straight back and dropped shoulders give a person nobility and aesthetic beauty. If you constantly forget about your posture and slouch, at first you can wear a special corset, sold in pharmacies. Also do a special exercise:

• place a heavy book on the top of your head;
• take a comfortable position in which it will not fall off;
• Keeping your back straight, slowly walk around the room.

Ballet dancers have excellent posture. A few exercises they do daily:

• Always keep your head straight, with your chin slightly forward;
• pull the top of your head towards the ceiling so that your back is like a taut string;
• The shoulder blades should not bulge, straighten the chest and shoulders;
• always suck in your stomach as if you were wearing a tight corset;
• When sitting on a chair for a long time, roll up a towel and place it under your buttocks, while your pelvis should be slightly tilted forward.

How many days do you need

In 1960, surgeon Maxwell Maltz published a book in which the “21-day rule” was mentioned for the first time. It says that only 3 weeks are enough for a person to be able to adapt to any life situation. His body begins to automatically perform the action that was programmed.

Indeed, most simple habits (for example, cleaning every day, brushing your teeth, eating right, etc.) develop quite quickly. On average 3-4 weeks. Those actions that require a lot of effort (for example, training the intellect, doing physical exercises, etc.) do not take root as quickly as we would like, about 2-3 months.

A group of scientists from University College London conducted an experiment in which 96 people took part. His task was to find out how long it takes a person to develop a habit. Volunteers performed the same action every day: drinking a glass of juice, going for a 15-minute run, eating fruit.

The result of the study showed a range from 18 to 245 days. The average data is 66 days. The subjects got used to juice and fruit faster than to physical activity.

It is difficult to judge how reliable this information is. The results were assessed only by the feelings of the people who participated in the experiment. Therefore, we will adhere to the opinion that a habit can be developed in 21 days.

Algorithm for developing a new habit

By devoting your attention to forming a new habit for several months, you can then enjoy its beneficial results for the rest of your life.

In my experience, you can form no more than two or three habits at a time. Although this is a lot. I choose just one habit per quarter. Then I focus 100% of my attention, without allowing even the slightest indulgence, on implementing the habit into my life.

At first glance it looks very slow. But after a year, that’s four strong new habits, and after five years, that’s twenty habits. Twenty healthy habits that will work for me indefinitely.

I have also found it effective to group some habits into blocks. In this case, the end of the previous habit essentially acts as a trigger for the next one.

For example, I have the first block of morning rituals from 5:00 to 5:30 am: working with a diary, warming up and meditation. I formed these habits as one general set. Three habits were “closed” at once.

7 steps to develop a new habit

Every time I start forming a new habit, I do the 7-step preparatory work in writing. 30-60 minutes of preparation helps you not to leave a long distance halfway.

We choose a habit and establish clear rules of the game.

We formulate in writing what our actions will consist of: quantitative and qualitative indicators.

Ideally, this should be a “cornerstone” habit, the formation of which will automatically contribute to the creation of other related habits.

For example, such a habit is waking up early.

We also establish what circumstances can be considered valid in order to skip the work of forming a habit (force majeure circumstances).

With such actions we establish clear rules even “on the shore”. When they are formulated in writing, we are deprived of the opportunity to negotiate with ourselves.

We create motivation.

We explain to ourselves the need for the efforts being made.

We think about why we need this habit, what it will change, what it will bring into our lives, why it is important to us.

To do this, you can watch a video on this topic or read articles.

In addition, throughout the entire process of forming a habit, it is useful to feed yourself with interesting information that will bring a new portion of motivation.

Setting up triggers

Habits are unconscious patterns of behavior that “turn on” as soon as a certain trigger occurs.

We think about what trigger will “turn on” our new habit. We “link” the habit to some other constant circumstance - getting up in the morning, coming to the office or home, the phone ringing, another habit.

Unless we identify a specific trigger, an action, even if performed regularly over an extended period, will not become unconscious.

Making time for a habit

We are thinking about the temporary resource that needs to be allocated for a new regular action.

You need to ask yourself: “Do I have time for this habit in my daily routine?”

For example, many people want to read at least 30 minutes every day. But not everyone bothers to set aside time for this habit.

In addition, every day we set aside one minute to remind ourselves of our habit and keep track of its formation.

PRO tip: Under no circumstances should you miss two days in a row in forming a habit. Even if it so happened that one day was missed, on the next day we must do everything to ensure that the action is completed.

We create optimal conditions for habit formation

It is necessary to remove all factors that can distract from the formation of a new behavior model and at the same time create conditions that will encourage the formation of a new habit.

If you plan to run every day, but you don’t even have sneakers, it’s clear that you won’t run far))).

We arrange circumstances so that the action is performed without additional effort.

Formulating the price of a word

If in step 2 we created motivation in the form of a carrot, then here we take out the stick.

We determine what punishment we are willing to endure if we miss completing an action. It could be a charity payment, or five minutes of planking, or something else.

We attract like-minded people

When we begin to form a habit with someone, we completely deprive ourselves of all escape routes.

We find a person with whom you can work together on a new habit and carry out mutual accountability.

I think it is very important to take one hour and write down the answers to these questions. As a result, the process of forming a new habit will be clear and interesting.

Here is an interesting video based on information from the book “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg:

7 steps based on the example of the habit of waking up early

I’ll look at how the habit of waking up early works according to this algorithm:

1. Habit and clear rules: The habit of waking up early. Every morning I wake up before 5:00 am. If, due to circumstances beyond my control, I went to bed after 23:00, I can postpone getting up, but no later than 5:45.
2. Motivation : Forming the habit of waking up early will give me two hours of untouchable time, which I use for personal, spiritual, physical development, as well as for working on projects that interest me. I will start my day calmly, confidently and without haste.
3. Trigger: alarm ringing. I always wake up from the first alarm, not allowing myself to lie down for another five minutes.
4. Time for a habit: from 5 am to 7 am I perform the 5 AM SYSTEM morning rituals. I do not use this time to solve current issues and problems.
5. Optimal conditions for the habit : I set an alarm for 4:55 every day and place it away from the bed: in order to turn it off, I need to get out from under the warm blanket. Every day in the evening I clean up my desktop, leaving only my diary and laptop there, and fold my sports clothes for a run.
6. The price of a word
7. Partner : community 5 AM SYSTEM.

How to create a habit in 21 days

The main task when forming habits is to create the right daily routine, in which there will be a place for all useful activities. Main rules:

• We get out of bed as early as possible, preferably without an alarm clock. In the evening we give ourselves the setting that we need to wake up 1-2 hours earlier than usual.
• After waking up, we study a foreign language. This can be combined with breakfast.
• We do exercises or jogging outside. Exercise should take at least 21 minutes.
• On the way to school or work, we read or listen to an audiobook. This should be useful literature that promotes self-development, and not meaningless cheap novels.
• We draw up a work plan to get everything done in time and follow it. In our free time (for example, at lunch) we think about what else we want to do.
• After work we spend time with family.
• On weekends we meet with friends, travel, do what we have long wanted to do and household chores.
• We go to bed no later than 22:30. You can watch a good movie before bed.

This is an example of how you can structure your day when forming a habit in 3 weeks. The most important thing is to find time every day for the goal you have set for yourself. It is better to perform actions in the morning, while the brain is rested.

Useful activities should be allocated at least 21 minutes in 24 hours.

If you didn't manage to develop a habit in 21 days, don't despair. Statistics show that this usually takes longer. On average 60 days.

When our habits are beneficial

Simply put, positive habits help create a quality and fulfilling life. A person who has bad habits (drinks, bites his nails, takes negativity out on others) a priori lives at odds with himself. Eliminating negativity and acquiring positive habits will lead to health, saving money (or spending money on something you need), being able to be a polite and pleasant conversationalist, and generally improving your quality of life.

Bad habits are easy to acquire, while good human habits are sometimes developed through incredible effort. There are too many temptations to “break out”. A person who has planned, for example, to go jogging in the morning, often indulges himself (“I’ll start running next week”) and looks for excuses (“I would run, but it’s cool outside, I might get sick”). And such self-deception is deposited in the brain and affects self-confidence. Next week, even if it gets warmer, people most likely won’t run in the morning with the thought: “What’s the point now?” So how do you develop a habit? What should I do to proudly declare to everyone and myself: “I was able to develop the right habits to replace those that interfere with my life”?