All human qualities are conventionally divided into positive and negative. Moreover, such a division exists both in the public consciousness and in science.
But is it possible to divide personality into “black” and “white”?
Positive qualities are those that meet the criteria of morality and ethics.
But how compatible are high ideals and ideas about beauty, kindness, and peacefulness with real life in a modern, sometimes very cruel society?
Do you need to develop positive qualities in yourself? Or is it more beneficial to pay attention to the “dark side” of your human essence?
What do you absolutely need to develop in yourself to become a happy person?
Be simpler and calmer
Ego sometimes makes us too serious and too rigid. Let go of the desire to always be defensive towards yourself.
Let go of the desire to show other people how superior you are. Be a simple and calm person.
Stop taking things too personally and learn to laugh at your shortcomings. We are all flesh and bones, and none of us are perfect.
Life is much more enjoyable and colorful when we push aside the ego and allow ourselves to relax.
Never make someone your joke
Treating life with humor is great. This greatly enhances your personality and individuality.
However, when the target of our humor is another person, that humorous trait instantly becomes toxic.
We break rapport and lose respect in the eyes of the person we are laughing at. Apart from this, we also show our character to the people who listen to our jokes.
You can make people laugh in the moment by making fun of someone, but at the same time you are creating a shallow, insensitive and insincere image of yourself.
Be humorous, but avoid targeting any specific person at all costs.
How to develop a strong character - tips
1.
First, you need to make a choice about what exactly needs to be improved, what you need to work on, and what you need to pay attention to most. By cultivating a strong character, a person cultivates positive qualities in himself, choosing the most important ones for himself.
2.
The next step should be to strengthen the nervous system. You don’t need much to do this, the main thing is to do it regularly, have patience and endurance. To strengthen the nervous system, meditation, auto-training or various types of relaxation will be relevant.
3.
To develop character and become stronger, go in for sports. You need to set a goal and confidently move towards its implementation. You don’t have to set a record goal, you just need to choose the right exercises and do them regularly. Thus, a person becomes more disciplined. If you exercise regularly, you can strengthen not only your body, but also your spirit.
4.
For people who do not have the desire or opportunity to play sports, there are other methods by which they can develop strong character and confidence. These can be intellectual pursuits. You can take up playing the piano or start playing chess. You can reach new heights with the help of literature, reading books, studying the works of famous people.
5.
It is very important that the person himself feels his strength. To do this, you need to realize that someone needs him. You just need to help people who need help. It is not necessary to help financially, you can help those in need morally, for example, go for a walk with a disabled person or go to an orphanage and play with orphans. Thus, a person becomes stronger and more confident.
6.
To develop character and become strong, you need to overcome your fears. For people who are afraid of heights, a parachute jump would be suitable, as this is the only way they can overcome their weaknesses. After such exercises, a person becomes more confident and understands that he is no longer afraid of anything. Not everything in life goes the way you would like, you shouldn’t be upset by the parade of difficulties, you need to be able to resist them. This is the key to a strong character.
A person with a strong character will be able to achieve a lot in life. It is important to educate it correctly in yourself.
Become a good listener
A common misconception is that you need to talk more to become charismatic.
In fact, active listening is a more attractive skill than endless talking.
The world needs more active listeners, people who are genuinely interested in other people.
There is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. Use your ears often. Genuinely listen to people and empathize with them. Being a good listener is one of the personality traits that many of us need.
This will attract more friends and well-wishers to you than anything else. When you start giving meaning to people, they will gravitate towards you.
Often what makes active listening difficult for people is either their own ego and insecurity or insensitivity.
Analyze what is preventing you from giving your undivided attention and interest to the people who are talking to you.
How to become a successful person?
Every day, step by step, fight for your dreams. Develop the qualities of a successful person. Set real, achievable goals, gradually raising the bar, increase your achievements, grow in your own eyes, cultivate self-confidence and self-discipline.
Come up with a reproach for yourself for not doing what you planned, and reward yourself for what you have done. Celebrate your achievements with your loved ones. Share your success with others.
Analyze actions, understand what depended on you and what didn’t. By accepting responsibility for what is happening, you begin to control your destiny. And you no longer become a boat floating with the flow, but a real frigate, capable of withstanding a squall and an enemy attack. Who do you prefer to be?
Develop the qualities of a successful personality, getting real pleasure from a rich, interesting, meaningful and happy life!
Encourage and support others
When someone tells you about their achievements or their great plans and ideas about something, how do you usually react?
Many people feel insecure when they hear the ambitious ideas and achievements of others. It's almost as if their self-esteem is threatened by someone else's progress and growth.
This again is a sign of weakness of character and requires some reflection and some personal development work.
On the other hand, how would you feel about someone who supports you in your endeavors, shows support for your ideas and appreciates your achievements?
Most likely, you will begin to love and appreciate this person.
The world needs more people like this who encourage and support others instead of envying them.
Be that person. People will love you for it.
High work capacity
This is what most people dream of - to work productively and not burn out or become a workaholic. In fact, the recipe for productivity is very simple - focus. Turn off the sound on your phone, remove all irritants (music or TV), and you will notice how much easier it becomes to cope with tasks. The comparison is very appropriate - appetite comes while eating - as soon as you start working, inspiration will come to you. Stop multitasking. The volume of work is, of course, higher, but the quality is significantly reduced, and the body also experiences stress. It is also very important to eat and sleep in moderation.
Stick to your values
Have you ever seen someone who changes their color like a chameleon and adjusts their personality traits just to fit into different gatherings?
Or a person who compromises morals, ethics and values the moment they are under any pressure?
At social events, such people pretend to be a great, sophisticated, pleasant person. In their personal lives, they are nothing like what they portray.
On the other hand, a principle-oriented person is one who acts based on his values in any situation. He is strong in morals and ethics.
When such people face problems, they act in ways that are consistent with their higher values and moral principles.
Such a person is usually highly respected by people, even if he does not always try to live up to everyone because of his clearly defined values.
Determine your moral values and stick to them. Never compromise with them just to fit in with society.
- 8 Benefits of Defining Your Values
How to Determine Your Best Character Traits: A List of Exercises
- You need to identify your strengths and weaknesses . Think about what actions or work gives you positive emotions? Write them down on paper, ranking them from the most pleasant to the most undesirable.
- Determine your life values . To do this, they should also be written down on a piece of paper. Think about what values can help you develop, and which ones, on the contrary, will only drag you down. Having decided on this, try to rethink your beliefs.
- Analyze the behavior of people you look up to. Try to identify their best qualities. Consider if you have them.
- Remember the happiest moments of your life. Why did you feel happy? What influenced this?
- Analyze the information received from previous answers. Try to trace the same points in each of the questions. These will be the qualities that you strive to develop.
- Now let's move on to the analysis of real life . Does what you want match the real picture?
- Research where you live . What advantages and disadvantages does this place have? We do the same with regard to the place of work.
- Think about it, your environment slows down your personal development, or vice versa, contributes to its development.
- Ask your friends what character traits they can identify in you.
- Analyze the answers of your friends. What character traits are most often repeated? Write them down on a piece of paper.
- You can create your own self-portrait. The information obtained during these exercises will help you get the most truthful description of your personal qualities.
- Analyze the self-portrait. What would you like to change? Highlight your weaknesses and strengths. Think about what you need to strengthen your strengths, how to acquire new ones?
Radiate positive energy
The world needs more calm and positive people. Be the person who genuinely radiates positive and uplifting energy.
Be sincere and transparent. Be a beacon of light for others. Avoid complaining about circumstances, the weather, or the government.
Avoid making negative assumptions and judgments about people. Be optimistic. Benefit people. Accept the flaws of others. Forgive people's mistakes.
Be generous with your compliments. Make people feel good.
Charismatic
Surely among your friends there is that person whom, in your opinion, absolutely everyone likes. This is called charisma. If desired, anyone can develop this trait in themselves. Make eye contact with the interlocutor, but do not be too persistent, learn to listen and hear people. Ask questions, make the person you are communicating with the center of the conversation. Never hide your emotions. If you like what your interlocutor says, tell him about it. If you have been offended, admit it. Draw conclusions at the end of the conversation - what people like about you and what they don’t.
Develop Intellectual Humility
Do you know those people who think they know everything? Those who have stubborn opinions about almost everything. These are not very attractive personality traits, are they?
Wise and knowledgeable people admit that they do not know everything. They understand that their opinions are their own, based on their own subjective experiences.
Consequently, they are open to hearing and respecting the views of others. They are flexible enough to shape and update their worldview as they continue to learn every day.
Intellectual humility is when we understand that our own views and overall worldview may be biased and subjective and may not be complete or definitive.
To be humble is to be open to learning new ways of seeing things. This means being respectful of the opinions of others, even if they differ from us.
To be willing to accept our own shortcomings and mistakes and to be willing to change ourselves whenever necessary.
What shapes character: negative influence
Character begins to form when the child is in the womb: there are calm and active children. After birth, a person is influenced by the external environment and other factors that shape his personality:
- Childhood and the behavior of parents and teachers have an important influence on the formation of character: a child can resist their influence, respond with aggression to rudeness, or become docile, inert, resigning himself to fate. The absence of one of the parents often leads to a loss of faith in the relationship, creating trust problems in the future.
- Adolescence and the formation of the foundations of character. At this stage, the personality reacts especially sharply to the words and actions of others. This is a period when a child can be “broken,” embittered, so that he loses faith in love and acquires complexes that he will have to live with or cope with in adulthood.
- Further correction of adult personality. After coming of age, a person creates himself, focusing on the media, cinema, authorities, which he independently determines. At this stage, the personality not only develops the foundations laid in it, but is also able to completely change itself. Social injustice, distorted ideology of loved ones, stressful situations and lack of support have a negative impact.
A person is not always to blame for the formation of negative character traits: they were created by his environment, an unhappy childhood, careless words, and sometimes violence from adults. A person cannot change the past, but he must fight for himself in the future.
Live with purpose, have a vision for life
There is nothing greater and more charismatic than a person who lives his purpose. Who knows his true calling.
That person who has a clear vision of who he wants to become and what he wants to do in this limited life we have.
Knowing your life's purpose and vision instantly gives you confidence and strength to move forward, make decisions and take action.
Self-confidence, self-esteem and charisma are part of living a purposeful life.
If you are not yet sure of your true calling in life, make it a priority to work on yourself and understand who you are at your core.
- How to Find Your Purpose in Life
A life without a higher purpose is a wasted life.
When it comes to life's purpose, many people immediately think about what profession/job/business they want to do.
To make it easier for you, here's a tip: think about the kind of person you want to become.
Self confidence
A self-confident person is a priori in a more advantageous position than one who doubts. Confident people motivate and inspire, they can lead, these are true leaders. To develop this trait, start playing sports - this is not only a plus for your self-esteem, but also for the beauty of your body and for your health. And don’t take other people’s reactions to your actions as the standard of the norm. Don't look for approval from other people - you should live your life in a way that is comfortable for you, and only you can evaluate the level of comfort. Learn to take responsibility for your actions.
Be an interesting and dynamic person
How many hobbies and interests do you have now? How often do you step out of the world you know into a world you don't yet know?
How curious and enthusiastic are you about new experiences? An experience you haven't had before.
This is how many of us find ourselves in the rut of daily life. We tend to lose our interests and forget about our capabilities and passions. We become closed to new experiences.
It's no surprise that life has gotten a little more boring as we've gotten older. Rekindle that inner childlike curiosity. Get in touch with your interests. Explore new areas of life. Develop new hobbies.
Life has so much to offer. Good personality traits include being dynamic and interested in many areas. Stop limiting yourself to only a few boring things in life.
This will not only greatly improve your personality, but will also make your life more enjoyable and interesting.
Everyone wants to become at least a little happier, but few people understand that happiness in this world depends on having good character traits. This is easy to understand if you analyze the causes of happiness, and as a result of the analysis it turns out that the source of the greatest happiness is good relationships. A person is an integral part of society (with rare exceptions, of course), because every day we have to encounter other people, communicate, and jointly solve issues and problems.
Having good qualities, we thereby make the lives of other people better, for which they, in gratitude, make our own lives better, adding to our happiness in one way or another.
This may be easier to understand when applied to other people. Imagine two people: one is very good, the other is very bad. Which one do you want to do business with? Who are you ready to communicate and be friends with more? Which of them are you ready to help with something if he asks? Of course, you will choose a good person, and your feelings towards him will be sincere. This way, you will automatically be a source of happiness for him. And he is for you too, because there is an exchange.
Based on this, we can conclude: BEING A GOOD PERSON IS PROFITABLE! Because by showing good character traits, we attract good people into our lives and become happier.
What character qualities do you need to develop in yourself?
There are 26 qualities that are worth developing in yourself, they are described in detail by Torsunov in lectures, their explanations can also be found in text form on the Internet. These are the 26 qualities of a holy person.
simplicity gentleness (kindness) self-control non-violence forgiveness humility calmness (peacefulness) compassion for all fearlessness charity truthfulness absence of anger self-denial asceticism - performing austerities absence of desire to look for faults in others purity of consciousness unselfishness, absence of greed absence of envy determination determination perseverance purity study of sacred scriptures development of spiritual knowledge performing sacrifices modesty - lack of desire for honor
We can begin by developing several qualities that are understandable and acceptable to us at this stage of spiritual growth.
How to develop good qualities in yourself?
The secret is simple: you need to communicate with those who possess these qualities. With the kind of person you hang out with, you will gain those character traits. This happens automatically, by itself, without any special effort, and even without our desire.
By communicating with a kind person, we are “charged” (or infected) with kindness, and then for some time we radiate kindness towards others, which, of course, does not pass without a trace, because there is a law “what you emit is what you receive.”
You need to try to notice good qualities in people, note them mentally, concentrate on them, instead of concentrating on bad qualities.
We get more into our lives than what we focus our attention on. Parents know that if a child is constantly scolded for his bad character traits, they only become stronger. And vice versa: if you praise good qualities and encourage them in every possible way (within reasonable limits), they appear more and more. Both the children become happier and the parents - everyone wins.
By communicating with people, we can express our admiration for their good qualities, thereby adopting them - and these qualities will develop in ourselves.
When discussing people, it is better to discuss their good qualities, good deeds, and not what we are used to discussing.
Therefore, let's remember the secret: “What we feed with our attention is what we receive.”
As we gradually develop good character traits, we become happier because we bring more positivity into our lives, which “pushes out” the negativity.
Various practices of self-knowledge can also help well - they will eliminate accumulated negativity and misunderstandings of life or its individual aspects.
How to ruin everything
The development of good qualities in yourself can be spoiled by communicating with bad people, discussing them with others, fixating on someone’s bad qualities, watching TV programs that carry negativity and concentrate the viewer’s attention on the bad things that exist in our world.
We need to filter what comes into our field of vision, into our mind, into our consciousness, because what enters it then “sprouts” in our lives. And it grows solely due to the fact that we pay attention to it.
Knowing this, we can make our lives happier - one day at a time.
This principle of acquiring good qualities is well known and practiced in Hinduism and other religions: spiritual practice involves hearing (from spiritual masters) about the pastimes, qualities and activities of God, and those who listen to these narrations obtain spiritual benefit.
Stop trying to please people and be yourself.
It is so simple. Be a sincere, transparent person, be yourself.
Stop acting differently in front of people so you can look good in their eyes. One of the best ways to increase your individuality and become great is to stop caring too much about what people think of you.
The irony is that many people try to act a certain way just to show off their individuality, when in reality it only shows how insecure they are. Self-acceptance is the root of self-confidence and a great personality.
Difficulty choosing the direction of development
Many people don’t even think about taking the path of personal development. And a good half of those who do think about it decide to develop not positive, but negative
personality qualities.
Why? Because it is much more difficult for a soft, sympathetic, forgiving person to live in the modern world?
For example, reliability has long been perceived not as a positive quality, but as a trait that interferes with being happy, associated with weakness of character.
People prefer to develop in themselves those qualities that provide powerful “armor” - protection
personalities from everyone and everything:
- secrecy,
- unscrupulousness,
- composure,
- suspicion,
- mistrust,
- selfishness,
- hypocrisy,
- the ability to not pay attention to the feelings of others (the ability to “go over their heads”) and others.
Where does all this come from? Because of fear
life and misunderstanding of its benefits!
not be protected
growing “needles” like a porcupine!
Humanity
is not weakness or spinelessness.
It is important to understand that conditionally negative qualities are not always cultivated by a person consciously. It’s rare that someone decides, for example, “I’ll be greedy!”, but, nevertheless, develops greed and stinginess at the same time.
If a person does not move in the direction of developing his personality, he will certainly degrade.
