We explain what a midlife crisis in men is, its symptoms and when it occurs

Crisis Irina Vasilyeva Married representatives of the fair sex after 30-40 years are often concerned about the same question. How does a midlife crisis go for men? Is it possible to save the family during this period? How to prevent a man from going “to the left”? And what to do if he does “go”? But, since my blog is equally aimed at representatives of both sexes, the discussion of this topic will take into account the interests and needs of everyone: both men and women.

Good afternoon, dear reader! Today you will learn about the male version of experiencing a midlife crisis from all sides at once: biological, psychological and social.

What is a man's midlife crisis?

From the outside, the situation may not seem as critical as it actually is, although he is experiencing extreme stress.

What is a man's midlife crisis? This is a rethinking of values, an analysis of the life lived, thoughts about unrealized plans, the inconsistency of today with dreams and ideas about the ideal.

At what age does a man have a midlife crisis? Over time, the crisis becomes “younger”. If earlier it clearly manifested itself after forty years, now it has captured the age even after thirty years.

A representative of the strong half of humanity changes his attitude towards himself, rethinks his role and significance in the family, at work, in relationships with friends. He takes stock of his achievements and assesses his financial condition. This usually ends in disappointment, dissatisfaction with oneself and one's life. It seems to him that little has been done, that everything does not meet the expectations of his wife and relatives. This is a transition to understanding and accepting responsibility for yourself and your loved ones.

A man begins to think that he is capable of much, he is drawn to exploits, and his actions are completely unpredictable. For no apparent reason, he can make expensive, inexplicable purchases, change his appearance, be capricious and find fault with his wife with insults. Or, on the contrary, fall into despondency, confusion and sadness. He gives up his favorite prestigious job, stops taking care of his appearance, forgets about the existence of children and home. From here it’s already a stone’s throw to depression.

Causes

A midlife crisis occurs under the influence of several factors:

Changes in hormonal levels, decreased testosterone (there is a questionnaire to diagnose decreased testosterone levels at home). The belly appears, the breasts sag, and potency deteriorates. The transformation happens unnoticed. Not everyone has the willpower to reverse the process through diet and exercise. As a result, dissatisfaction with oneself grows.
Routine at work, professional burnout, stagnation in self-realization.
Physiological changes: signs of aging on the face and body, the appearance of gray hair, deterioration of health, fatigue, chronic diseases, prostatitis. The man still perceives himself as twenty years old, but reality makes itself felt.
Emotional maturation of the individual, rethinking one’s own life principles.

Around the age of 37-40, a man begins to engage in soul-searching. He is suddenly no longer satisfied with his job, his woman, his children. It seems that life is passing away, but he has seen nothing, achieved nothing, old age is rapidly approaching, and he wants to experience fresh emotions. Often, during such self-analysis, a man devalues all the advantages of his life and sees only the disadvantages.

What do men suffer from during a worsening midlife crisis?

Causes of a midlife crisis in men

Oddly enough, but all doctors, when restoring and treating mental and physiological disorders, look for the root causes in adolescence. They all unanimously believe that the root of all evil is the discrepancy between the teenager’s expectations between the expected future and today’s reality. It is unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled plans and dreams that cause problems for an adult. The most common reasons:

Second youth (growing up).
Due to changes in everyday issues and family. In my youth, time flew by unnoticed, and every day passed like a whirlwind in worries about children, family vacations, trips, holidays, noise, quarrels, games and lessons. There was no time to sit, think and get bored, but even alone with my wife, there was often no opportunity to go or go somewhere. Now that the children have left and the house is empty, the worldview has to change. An understanding comes that you need to find other goals and interests, come up with something and move to a new level. There is enough time to build a new young relationship with your wife, try to return old feelings and make them mature and meaningful. But more often a man becomes confused and cannot find his place in the new reality. Health complications appear from somewhere: blood pressure jumps, the heart begins to play pranks, digestion is disrupted. And most importantly, all this is reflected in a decrease in sexual activity and marital relationships.
Why didn't you achieve what you wanted?
In defining any “why” they look for a reason. But if a person is in such an anxious state, then the search for the reason why his youthful dreams and goals failed will be biased. It consists of finding someone to blame. And depending on how a man’s life turned out, what he has and what he doesn’t have, there will be conclusions. If he succeeded as a businessman and achieved financial success, but did not start a family and did not build personal relationships, then work is to blame. And vice versa, he has a family, children, grandchildren and a seemingly happy marriage, but at the same time he is haunted by the thought that he he didn’t get enough of something, he didn’t spend enough time in his youth, he didn’t have a lot of fun, he didn’t buy himself what he wanted, he doesn’t have any savings either, but everything went towards everyday life. Of course, the family and everyday routine are to blame. This is the moment when a person realizes that time has gone irrevocably, nothing can be returned, and there is still so much he wants to cover, all at once. He gets stuck in a difficult search for a landmark of happiness.

The desire to slow down youth
.
There comes a bitter understanding that young years are passing away. And with them -
beauty, smartness and activity. Envious glances now and then stop at boys and girls; a man imagines himself in their company. And here another extreme of the midlife crisis appears. In his quest for youthfulness, he sometimes becomes funny - youth clothes, teenage slang, night parties. He may dye his hair, start visiting a beautician and getting a manicure, go to the gym, doing his best to ward off the acceptance of age-related changes - thinning hair, wrinkles, a sagging belly, stooping. Sex becomes calmer, does not bring the former heat and rapture, sensations change. And the regularity of intimacy is less frequent. And in order to somehow assert themselves, especially wealthy representatives of the stronger half, find young mistresses, someone leaves their wife of the same age.
Echoes of youth.
The rebel in the man awakens. If you look at any teenager, his main behavioral feature is protest against restrictions, prohibitions, and in spite of punishments. Youthful, unfulfilled goals and desires in the present result in a rebellion, a protest against generally accepted rules and life habits. But if previously the teenager was limited by his parents, now the family is the culprit. And again the desire to free yourself and break free is born.

Results

So, the midlife crisis must be overcome with dignity and resolved through finding new meaning and life guidelines. You should not think that the crisis is an unconditional evil. This is a shake-up of the personality, giving it new vitality. The main thing is to withstand this blow. If the situation is favorable, you will emerge as a renewed, improved, confident person in yourself and your life.

If it’s easier for you, then regard the crisis as a physical turning point. The bone must heal. However, if it goes wrong, it will be even worse.

In parting, I would like to recommend literature. I advise you to read a very interesting real story of a man who experienced a midlife crisis. The psychoanalyst himself working with him described in detail the entire course of many years of events. The book is written in two parts: “Midlife Crisis” and “Midlife Crisis. Notes on Survival." Author: Daryl Sharp. The work describes his client’s breakdown with himself, then with his wife, which resulted in divorce and a long recovery of his personality.

Well, in conclusion, I would like to remind you that any problem (disease, disorder, crisis) can be treated by eliminating its cause. It is the causes, not the symptoms. So we need to start by identifying it. The questions that arise in your head will themselves suggest the area where the contradiction lies.

Always remember that contradictions and doubts are a sign of personal development. I wish a successful update to those experiencing a midlife crisis!

A deeper look from psychologists at the causes of a man's midlife crisis

The depth and extent of the age-related turning point varies from person to person. It depends on character, behavior, social relationships. The basis of all these manifestations is in childhood and adolescence, in relationships with parents, classmates, from the ability to make decisions in childhood, to have one’s own opinion and to be independent. The more clearly these characteristics manifest themselves, the easier and calmer the period of crisis will pass.

Role in society.

From about the age of 12, a boy begins to worry about the question of what impression he makes on his peers, who treats him how, and what significance he has in the company on the street, among classmates, among school students and teachers. Here are the most important questions that interest him:

self-importance;
how seriously his opinion is taken;
how they react to his jokes;
communication issues.

The opinion of the environment about a teenager is fundamental in determining his social role, his place, his value and significance. Based on this principle, he forms his circle and changes it. The smoother this process goes, without conflicts, the fewer hidden complexes, unresolved issues, problems remain and go with it into adulthood.

How might this affect the future? A man will have difficulty determining his profession; he will constantly think, search, try, but constantly doubt his abilities. If in his youth he was timid and did not dare to take the first step towards intimacy with girls his own age, although he really wanted to, then in an adult relationship it will be difficult for him to be open and frank with his companion, sex will be complex, with an eye on “what if he doesn’t like it” , I’ll be worse than others.”

Parental control.

Every teenager wants to become independent as quickly as possible and get away from the control of their parents, make decisions, do something on their own. If relatives, especially mothers, allow the child to take this step, make his own mistakes and learn from his mistakes, this is the best way to ensure that he develops self-confidence and resistance to stress. As an adult, by the age of forty, he will not make the discovery that he did not live himself, but did only what they wanted. Otherwise, he will have a severe nervous breakdown - he will give up everything, leave his job, and maybe his family, turn his life upside down and start making mistakes, trying and making mistakes.

Physiological features.

The midlife crisis is expressed not only in psychological changes. Physiology changes. From about 40 years of age, the amount of testosterone in a man’s body begins to decrease and andropause occurs (similar to female menopause), that is, the aging process begins. What does this mean:

fatigue increases;
the skin becomes flabby and wrinkled;
problem areas with fat deposits stand out, weight increases;
joint condition worsens;
frequent ailments worsen and become chronic;
decreased sexual function, difficult erection.

Other reasons for the crisis period.

A little more about psychological reasons. Unlike a woman, a man has a program at the genetic level of a protector, a hero, a breadwinner, a “stone wall,” a support and the head of the family. Based on this, all his goals and plans are formed: to build a house, plant a tree, “give birth” to a son. By the age of 45, this program has most often been completed, the adult children have left to study, and he and his wife are left alone. The question arises - what to do next to be a hero and arouse admiration?

Intimacy with a wife is no longer inspiring, because the wife and her husband are going through a period of change, and she has her own age-related difficulties. Therefore, the most popular option is a young mistress. She will admire him, please him, thank him for gifts and pleasant little things. This is a new type of relationship in his life, although often he does not plan to leave his wife and is very attached to her.

Professional area

In the course of the study, I. Yu. Filimonenko determined that men more often suffer from the awareness of “not their path in life” and adapt less well to it. That is, this is often the main cause of a midlife crisis. This phenomenon, according to the author, is due to the psychophysiological characteristics of the male brain (it is less flexible to external conditions). The second reason is the narrow focus of inclinations from birth.

The crisis of the wrong path manifests itself as follows:

the constant thought that nothing is working out and the universe itself is set against you;
constant fatigue and tension (even achievements are not encouraging, as they were achieved through sheer force of will);
lack of joy and satisfaction from achieved goals.

Under such conditions, the man is completely at the mercy of the crisis. Moreover, if he chooses not to endure his work, but to supplement it with something for the soul, then he makes it even worse. This has been proven to be a dead-end strategy. It destroys a person’s personality and body (we’re talking about psychosomatics).

There is another dead-end strategy - “wedge by wedge”. A man (sometimes without realizing it) embarks on a wild and dangerous lifestyle in order to displace those sensations with more intense ones. That is, he takes the path of self-destruction.

How to overcome a midlife crisis against the background of dissatisfaction with the profession? The answer will not please everyone, but there is only one correct and beneficial option for the individual - quit your current activity and look for yourself in other areas.

How does a man's midlife crisis manifest itself at different ages?

The difficulty of overcoming a crisis is that it can last for several years and become worse during periods of the year. Therefore, you need to be patient and persevere in the struggle.

The character and behavior of a man changes radically. He begins to behave directly opposite to his usual way of life. He can plunge headlong into fun and carefreeness, disappear into companies and parties, or, conversely, become withdrawn, angry and harsh even with his loved ones.

Problems will most likely arise at work. Dedication and productivity will change, because he will be gnawed by constant doubts that he has achieved little in his career and does not have the desired position. He understands that there is less and less time left for growth and achievement, and his inner core has softened. During this period, he is likely to change several jobs.

All psychological anxieties and experiences are complemented by deteriorating health. Psychosomatics transmits the signal “everything is bad” to the entire body, and symptoms of various diseases appear without previously visible reasons.

There is constant dissatisfaction with all aspects of life. I’m not happy with something that I didn’t even pay attention to before. He behaves like a bore, a grouch, causing irritation and rejection among the people around him.

Psychology divides a man's midlife crisis into several periods.

The first wave occurs in the period 30-33 years. It is associated with a feeling of joy, jubilation from one’s achievements - financial freedom, personal development, career growth. This is the peak of flowering. The danger is that a man may get a taste for freedom and stop wanting to bind himself to any ties or responsibilities. For example, a bachelor will completely lose the desire to get married, and a married man will have affairs or leave the family.

The cause of the crisis is the understanding of the beginning of the process of withering. He sees how appearance, feelings, and physical condition change:

hormonal changes;
the appearance of excess weight;
fatigue and apathy;
decreased sexual activity, problems with potency.

The midlife crisis in men is similar in symptoms and manifestations to female menopause. Both are associated with a decrease in the production of sex hormones and the resulting changes in health and behavior. But if for women this goes more smoothly and is less reflected in changes in lifestyle, then for men it is more vivid and demonstrative.

It is important for him to constantly prove his worth as a hero-lover, and the result is frequent relationships, changes in partners, endless dissatisfaction and fingering.

If the period up to 35 years can be defined as a time of search, victories, self-affirmation and achievement of goals, then after 40 years comes the time for summing up the median results, re-counting and re-evaluating achievements. At this turning point, the following indicators are important to him:

work – highly paid management positions;
family – stability, security, the head of strong relationships;
confirmation of achievements - an expensive car, holidays at first-class resorts, a decent amount in the bank account;
in communication and environment - authority of opinion, respect, recognition of his achievements.

3.
But the strangest thing is that even if the understanding comes that everything planned has been achieved, there is still a feeling of dissatisfaction. And then there’s a new question: if this exists, then what else do you want and what should you strive for? 50 years is the age when the last period of the midlife crisis begins for men.

The wife gets tired of all these changes and thanks less passionately and joyfully for gifts and attentions.

The more soul-searching a man does, the more noticeable his main pain is – decreased sexual activity and a decline in intimate life. To be convinced of the opposite and to prove to himself and those around him that, as before, he remains a “strong male”, he goes “all the way”.

As a medicine, men choose lovers much younger than themselves. They believe that this will correct the situation, increase potency and return them to youth, turning a blind eye to the real reasons. Wanting to recover for family life in this way, the man makes things even worse.

Any wife feels and notices the changes happening to her husband if he goes outside. She knows that she is also not getting younger and does not look the same as before, her sexual desires are also becoming different. Therefore, she perceives all her husband’s saving actions as an insult and betrayal. And instead of solving one problem, another arises - saving the marriage.

First year of life

At this age, the baby begins to develop basic trust in the world and people. If parents really love their newborn son, give him a lot of attention, care and love, then the child will subconsciously be sure that:

he will always be okay;
he is surrounded by kind and friendly people;
he is truly worthy of attention and love.

If the parents neglect the child, do not show their emotions, constantly argue and sort things out, then in the future the boy will avoid people, be afraid of them, and think that life is a difficult test.

Scientists have proven that the subconscious of most men who sacrifice themselves for love and fall unrequitedly in love, in the first year of life received the instruction that love must be earned, because no one loves anyone just like that.

How long does a midlife crisis last for men?

It is impossible to identify universal boundaries of this transition period. Just as it is impossible to predict how it will affect the family, how his wife and children will survive. It is also not clear what consequences this will lead to. Everything is purely individual.

But taking into account all the details of the changes taking place, you still need to think with your head, control your thoughts and emotions, so as not to “break the woods”.

For a woman, the worst thing in this situation is betrayal and her husband leaving for a young mistress. In this way, the man tries to find a panacea and heal from the symptoms of the crisis. But this won’t last long; he and his girlfriend will have too different interests and lifestyles.

After some time, he will be drawn back to the family again, and if his wife forgives him and comes to terms with the betrayal, then their relationship will become even stronger and closer over time.

When does it occur and how long does it last?

The severity of the crisis, the time of its onset and the duration of the period of occurrence are still purely individual and depend on many factors.

However, the average varies between 40 and 50 years.

This means that in the event of serious difficulties and failure to provide proper psychological assistance, the crisis may turn out to be quite long.

How to help a man survive a midlife crisis

If a woman wants to help her husband cope with this difficult condition, support him, make the period less problematic and protect him from bitter consequences, she must behave very correctly, be patient and attentive. The worst solution would be an open offer to consult a psychologist or be treated by a psychotherapist.

So, how to help a man during a midlife crisis and what should a wife do?

A woman should constantly communicate with her husband, but without boring him with stupid tugging questions, but bring him into conversations on general topics, discuss issues that interest him, hobbies, interests. We must strive to ensure that he talks, enters into dialogue and does not withdraw into himself. It is important to try to get him to have an open conversation so that he decides to open up his fears and anxieties. To do this, you need to show your love, care, the husband must understand how dear he is, and how highly everything he does for his wife and for the children is valued, how you rejoice at his successes and achievements.

But words alone are not enough. A woman should act actively and unobtrusively. It is important to make changes to your usual way of life. Regardless of whether the children are at home or grown up and moved away, you need to take the process into your own hands. What do we have to do? Something that hasn't been done before. There are a lot of options: go on vacation, go to a cafe and cinema, meet friends, have a picnic, go hiking, do extreme sports, change your eating habits, learn a new cuisine, buy him a boat with a fishing rod, start a hobby. Only it should not look like confusion and chaos, but as a systematically built system. You yourself must be passionate about the process and try to captivate your husband by introducing new ideas and tasks that require his activity and intervention.

And the main question that constantly haunts a woman is: at what age will a man’s midlife crisis end? Although, regardless of age, the ways to support and help your other half will be similar. Despite the criticality of the situation, it is necessary to approach solving the problem comprehensively.

And the most important aspect is sex. Well, in some ways, here a man must be two hundred percent confident in his abilities. But he needs help, to return the romantic hero, conqueror, conqueror and insidious seducer. Come up with a role-playing game, rent or buy a sexy suit, new sexy lingerie. Light candles, have a relaxing massage with aromatic oils, have a chocolate-strawberry-champagne evening. The choice is huge - to be a fatal beauty, a mysterious stranger, make a date with him at a hotel, rent a room for a couple of days and do what you were embarrassed to think about before. He will definitely appreciate this!

Why does a crisis occur?

Until a certain age, a man lives with his eyes closed. He does not feel age and does not notice how his biological clock is ticking. When age-related changes make themselves felt, their eyes “open”, men suddenly begin to fear old age and its consequences. The main factors that create a midlife crisis in men are:

Hormonal changes in the body. Some experts call this phenomenon “male menopause.” In women, age-related changes begin with menopause, in men - with a decrease in the body's production of testosterone, which entails a decrease in libido, deterioration in potency and poor erection.
Deterioration of health. A man becomes more vulnerable to disease, loses his former strength, develops a paunch, and has problems in his intimate life.
Lack of achievements and career growth. The man suddenly looks back and realizes that by his age he has achieved practically nothing, and there is not much time ahead for this.
Lack of family and children. Some men under 30-40 years of age do not want to start a family, preferring a free life. But during the period of maturation of age-related changes, the realization comes that he does not have a successor to the family. This affects self-esteem and provokes depression.
Increased self-criticism. For men after 40, during a midlife crisis, there comes a moment of looking for mistakes in the past and great worry about this. They evaluate their past actions from a negative perspective.
Lack of self-confidence. A man wants to change his life for the better, to commit a significant act, but lack of confidence in his abilities prevents him from achieving what he wants.

What a woman should not do during a man's midlife crisis

In order to survive this period with the least problems and losses, a woman needs to be strong. There is no point in panicking and resorting to alcohol, binge drinking, shopping and disappearing on social networks.
No need to cry and make a scene. Let him know that everything is fine with you.
You shouldn’t set him harsh conditions, present him with ultimatums and blackmail him with divorce; this may push him to leave home.
There is no need to consider yourself guilty of his crisis; it is pointless to reproach yourself. It has nothing to do with you, even if he thinks otherwise.

The only best help is to create a comfortable psychological environment, not to bully, not to educate, but to be a slightly caring wife-mother; remind a man of the value of life, family, caring for loved ones, trusting relationships, try to smooth out corners and defuse the situation with jokes.

Overcoming

Self-acceptance is the main way to survive a crisis. You need to realize the naturalness of aging and learn to appreciate your experience. You need to change your life, but in such a way that it is a truly effective step, and not a cry for help. If you don’t like work, think about what will bring you true pleasure and become your life’s work. It is important that this combines “can”, “want” and “must”. In fact, you don’t love your wife for a long time - calmly talk to her about it and go your separate ways. Etc.

It is important! In any case, it will not be superfluous to visit a psychologist.

Prevention of midlife crisis in men

The period of crisis can proceed in different ways - more smoothly or abruptly. It can be preceded and complicated by family quarrels, problems at work, and everyday difficulties. Therefore, all conflicts should be extinguished before they begin.
You need to look at life soberly and understand that the ardent feelings of youth and youth will no longer exist. The longer people are married, the weaker the mutual affection becomes. There is no escape from this and we need to rebuild relationships and change the value system.
Monotony, routine and everyday life themselves become the cause of the crisis. They nullify all feelings and relationships. Thoughts and doubts will begin to “wander” in your head on their own. To avoid this, you need to work on your life and relationships. Life and planning must be added to the “home-work-home” scheme. New places, vacations, trips, a change of environment will bring variety and refresh feelings that have cooled over the years.
It is useful to change the interior of your home periodically or annually, if you wish: new colors, fresh paints, bright details will make it desirable to return home and communicate with your family.

Prevention

There are no specific methods to prevent plunging into a crisis. In general, doctors advise after 25-30 years:

physical activity in the gym (3-4 times a week for 1.5 hours);
proper nutrition (preference should be given to meat, vegetables, eggs, dairy products, fruits and whole grain cereals);
giving up smoking and alcohol (beer is especially harmful, as it has a detrimental effect on the male body, making the figure more feminine, as well as reducing desire and erection, due to the presence of plant phytoestrogens);
regular sex with your favorite partner;
annual medical examination, it is especially important to undergo a urologist and andrologist.

Hormone replacement therapy is recommended in extreme cases (when the amount of testosterone in the blood is 2 times less and more than the lower reference level, that is, below 5 nmol/l), so that synthetic drugs do not inhibit their own testosterone production.

What recommendations should be conveyed to a man to overcome the midlife crisis?

These simple tips for men will help make the period of crisis less stressful and protracted, and reduce the risk of undesirable consequences.

Systematic exercise of any sport will make the body resilient, fit, stimulate the production of hormones, activate mental activity and fill it with positivity. An excellent option is joint jogging, mountaineering, parachuting, rowing.
It is important to listen to your health and respond to changes. They will come in any case, because the body wears out over the years, its work changes, and the further you go, the more regular “maintenance” and consultation with doctors should be.
Learn the most important quality in life - to accept yourself as you are, and to love yourself with all the advantages and disadvantages, with excess weight and the first gray hairs, a major leader with a big salary and a happy father, grandfather, not a superhero, but a simple man and husband, the support and support of your wife. This is an ideal option for a happy old age. After all, you can't turn back time. So why ruin the rest of your life for yourself and your loved ones who care about you and love you.
Be more forgiving of other people's shortcomings, treat others with understanding and kindness. All people with age acquire their own characteristics and oddities, and they need to be accepted as such, especially those who are careful in the area of intimate relationships.
Be more open, communicate more with friends and family. Be understanding of the point of view and views of others.
This is the ideal time to develop, work, learn new professions, and gain knowledge. It would be great to find a hobby and start making money from it. Bypassing the concept of “retirement age,” on the contrary, it is the peak time of usefulness to a person, the knowledge, skills and experience he has accumulated.
It's time to get acquainted with a new personality again - yourself. Only now recognize yourself from other sides. You can consult a psychologist, take tests on personality traits, and diagnostics of professions.
If before there was no time, and there was a whole life ahead, now is the time to make a plan, define personal and family goals.
Now there is time to try and do, to realize your childhood dreams, because now no one will say “you can’t.” It's time to become a well-rounded person.

Additional advice for wives

Do not abuse prohibitions and moralizing, because a man will act out of spite against the backdrop of a crisis. It's better to remain silent. The main advice to wives, in addition to patience and understanding: you need to determine the lines that it is better for your husband not to cross, and be able to be decisive in defending your position and your rights. It’s one thing if a spouse suggests going to football together, and another thing when he wants to invite a girl for a threesome.

How long a midlife crisis lasts depends on how correctly a man is treated. You need help getting out of depression. But you can’t lay yourself out like a carpet in front of your husband, so that he doesn’t trip and hurt himself. Remember: the absence of any restraining factors can lead to devastating consequences, for example, the breakup of a family.

At-risk groups

Is there any group of people particularly vulnerable to this threat? Psychologists are unanimous here: this can be influenced by the past. If someone fails to develop a full sense of personal identity during puberty, they still don't know who they are, don't accept their own identity, and then fail when trying to form truly deep and mutually beneficial connections with other people. Concentration only on oneself in such a person increases significantly.