The recipe for madness is quite simple: divide your attention between several things and be constantly stressed by the accumulated tasks. This is how the sense of control is lost, which has a detrimental effect on physical and mental health. What should you do to avoid being crushed by the rubble of unfinished business? One of the best ways is to learn to prioritize.
This is an important skill because without it we tend to take the path of least resistance. The most difficult, important, unpleasant things are relegated to the background. In the meantime, we are doing something fun and easy. This leads to extreme stress in the end: a drop in self-esteem, loss of self-esteem, awareness of wasted time.
There is a high probability that you are involved in many areas during the day: health, education, work, family. And this is not to mention the fact that you want to have at least a little fun. And when there is a lot to do, the most difficult, but also important, thing is to understand what to do first.
What does it mean
Priority is the most important matter at the moment, for the solution of which all time and energy are concentrated.
Often there is a kind of dispersion between a mass of small but urgent tasks that consume energy but do not produce practical results. Following a certain hierarchy will help distribute them according to urgency.
There are many directions, the main ones are:
- health;
- family;
- career;
- financial well-being;
- basic needs for food and clothing;
- communication;
- self-realization;
- creation;
- rest.
Choosing and prioritizing in life will help determine which option requires the closest attention today.
Upbringing
The issue of forming life goals and priorities is mainly relevant for new parents and those whose upbringing for some reason is only in their own hands. Most people want to raise a son or daughter or to be happy and properly developed themselves. Parents’ own understanding of the correctness of priorities is a key factor when choosing the value system that they want to instill in their children.
If a child’s life goes without trauma and severe shocks, the ideas developed in childhood (about love, family, material enrichment, education, self-development and career growth) will be fixed in the subconscious for life. As a rule, families of workaholics and careerists grow up to be working and ambitious individuals who actively strive for a certain status. When love and close people are a family priority, a child grows up who values feelings and relationships.
Your priorities largely depend on your life experiences and what you deal with every day. It is pointless to convince the younger generation of the importance of family values if, for example, the father is not at home because of work, and the mother pays all her attention to her friends. Parents must demonstrate what they believe is right and appropriate by example.
Additional Tips
Make a list of important things to do.
This is a very useful practice. You need to make two lists.
First: cases that represent the big picture. For example, learning English, reading three books on communicating with people and implementing tips in life, creating a startup.
Second: what you need to do every day. These could be repetitive activities: exercise, reading, meditation.
It is important to break down the things on the first list into their components and start doing them. At the same time, make sure that the tasks from the second list are also completed. Balance is what will allow you to live a fulfilling life.
Maslow's pyramid
This famous table systematizes human needs. All our needs are built here in a certain subordination in relation to each other: without satisfying the lower level, it is impossible to move higher.
The relationship between the practical and the spiritual has long been proven. Without satisfying basic needs, you will not be able to take a step further. The system, developed by psychologist Abraham Maslow, clearly shows the possible definition of priority tasks and goals. He based it on physiological needs that give strength to move along the road of life. The next requirement is the safety of the person and his loved ones. Next comes the need for love, which is complemented by the desire for recognition of merit and respect from other members of society. At the top he placed self-expression as an act of supreme creativity. But it is impossible without compliance with basic requirements, at least to a minimum extent. This distribution must be taken into account, otherwise plans risk remaining in the form of tables and graphs, without having a basis for actual implementation.
Books
Setting priorities is a process that requires the development of many skills. You need to learn the art of time management, how to make lists and much more. Here is a list of books that will be useful at the start:
- "On the Limit" by Eric Bertrand Larssen.
- "Effective Time Management" Brian Tracy.
- "The Book of Self-Power" by Tony Robbins.
- “Power is limitless. How to Achieve Personal Achievement by Tony Robbins.
- “What will you choose?” Tal Ben-Shahar.
- "Don't Distract Me" Edward Hallowell.
- "Getting Things Done" by David Allen.
- "To hell with all of it! Go ahead and do it." Richard Branson.
We wish you good luck!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- How to prioritize when everything seems important: 7 techniques
- How to organize your business using Agile
- The best blog content in 2021: time management and productivity
- The art of prioritizing
- How to turn a deadline into a friend?
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- Personal Development Plan
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- How to Develop an Effective Action Plan
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Key words:1Time management
Time to make a choice
How a person’s fate will turn out, whether a dream can become a reality, depends only on him. Knowing what it is and how to correctly prioritize in a person’s life, work, affairs and how to learn this, opens up space not only for self-improvement, but also for ordering one’s destiny. Entire systems have been developed for this; they are based on the assertion that each person goes to achieve a goal in his own way and propose models of behavior. All that remains is to delve into their action and choose the option that is closest to the algorithm. Any of them involves several stages of implementing the plan. If you feel that some area of life is getting out of control or is preventing you from reaching the next level of development, change the situation immediately.
How to determine your priorities
In order to be able to correctly prioritize in life, you need to decide on your desires, to do this, analyze your own thoughts, spending some time on this. For example, you need to ask yourself questions like:
- What do I really want?
- My goals, what are they?
- In order to achieve them, what am I willing to do?
- What can you give up in the near future?
Questions of this kind seem very ordinary at first consideration, but with due attention to them they will be able to help reveal the full importance and possibility of achieving what you want, most importantly, they will push you in determining priorities.
Important! By answering these questions, a person, without knowing it, can already at least partially understand how to set priorities in his life.
Prioritization
Men's priorities
Life priorities are also a sign of gender. A man is rightfully the protector of his family and home; he is a support and leader for loved ones. Self-realization for him is not an empty phrase, it is very important. It is in this status that a man feels good and confident.
Financial independence is an important male priority. The most common goals for men are:
- Providing finances;
- Career, work activity;
- Health;
- Complete rest.
Men's priorities
Women's priorities
The aspirations of women are fundamentally different from the values of men. The fair half tends to pay much more attention to family concerns, relationships with their significant other, and children. Comfort in the house is important to them, so that everyone living in it feels good and comfortable. They take care of the health of each family member and observe traditions.
With some exceptions, women most often place work at a lower place in their list of values. Priority value areas for women:
- Home and family;
- Health status;
- Development and spirituality;
- Quality rest.
Women's priorities
Third - plan for upcoming actions
When the goal is clear and the starting level is visible, it is time to carefully develop a step-by-step progression towards the ideal. You cannot move a rock with your bare hands, but you can break it into pieces and gradually move them one by one. This is what I recommend to those who decide to change everything for the better. The global goal should consist of a series of intermediate ones; a time is determined for them and the necessary steps are calculated.
Sometimes you meet people who have tried to immediately grasp the immensity. As a result, they lost faith in themselves and gave up. It is difficult to work with such clients, but you can help them by going through the preliminary stages with them and jointly mapping out ways to achieve the goal. As a rule, their second attempt is much more successful.
It is important not to notify others about your plans until their implementation has begun. Empty talk wastes precious energy, turning good initiatives into bragging and can cause serious harm.
Tips for prioritizing
1. Study your life over the last year, month, two weeks to figure out what you devote the maximum amount of effort and time to.
2. Write down your values in order of decreasing importance - this will help you understand what you are striving for in the long term. Once priorities have been set, specific goals can be formulated with a mandatory deadline for achieving them.
3. Get a diary and get into the habit of planning things out for the coming days and weeks.
4. Divide big goals into a collection of small tasks to determine the course of action and eliminate fears about failure.
5. Get rid of those activities that do not bring any benefit, replacing them with those that lead to your goal.
6. Under no circumstances leave unfinished tasks, moving on to a new task only after completing the previous one.
7. Analyze your actions and determine their effectiveness.
Understand that the list of priorities cannot be dimensionless.
You can’t waste yourself on everything that comes into your head. In other words, your list of priorities will not be able to accommodate an unlimited number of items. And all you have to do is come to terms with it.
Let's try to give an example. Imagine that your list of priorities consists of five items. If you have already filled them out, it will be impossible to add a new item. The only thing you can do is cross out one of the written priorities and put a new one in its place.
Let's summarize: in order to add a new priority in life, you often have to give up some old one. It is impossible to simultaneously combine such things as health and smoking, comfort and a career, high earnings and eternal entertainment somewhere on the Cote d'Azur.
First of all, a correctly set goal will help you refuse something like this. But in order to formulate it correctly, think about this: how do you want to feel? Perhaps you are not ready to spend most of your life in the race for success, but want a calm and measured life? Or, on the contrary, do you quickly get bored of being in harmony? The main thing is to answer these questions as honestly as possible, because they determine how satisfied you will be with the quality of your life. Form goals that will allow you to achieve your desired state.
Know where your priorities are today
Even if you've never thought about how to set priorities before, you still have them. Everything you have now is the result of their arrangement. And it doesn’t matter whether you did it consciously or not.
Unconsciously, you often set priorities based not on what will be necessary and useful, but on what is important to you at the moment. When you're lying aimlessly on the couch, it's important for you to lie down.
When you get up early to go for a morning run, it's important for you to run in the morning. In the same case, when you are lying on the couch and thinking about how good it would be to go for a run, it is important for you to lie on the couch, pretending to be deeply concerned about the state of your health.
Learn to recognize your own priorities - this is one of the most important steps in order to build an honest dialogue with yourself. Honestly describe everything you have now: family, friends, work, earnings, health, bad and good habits. Let this be your starting point.
3. Check how your priorities correspond to your inner values
Values are our desires that come from within. Priorities often turn out to be imposed only from the outside. And this is a really important issue. When your values conflict with your priorities, what do you think happens? That's right, nothing good. You're just torn between "this is important to me" and "this should be important to me." The result is a bad mood, increased anxiety, and in some cases even depression.
If you want to know your real values, look at what you spend your free time on. If you publicly talk about how important it is to read, encourage your acquaintances and friends to play sports, repost master classes on social networks, but you yourself prefer to waste your time on activities that do not bring any benefit, the conclusion is obvious.
The second way to test your values is your energy. When your priorities go side by side with your values, what many call a blind spot in a person’s life happens. You are moving in the right direction, so it is easy for you to achieve your goals. If you have to spur your energy in various ways, for example, with the help of caffeine or the promise of entertainment, then it is worth analyzing whether you are really doing what you want, or whether you got down to business only because you should want it.
Don't live for a testimonial or a resume.
We often talk about life as if we were at an interview, and a strict personnel officer was sitting opposite us. We have lost the habit of speaking in simple words, doing simple things, and helping people around us. Our focus is on achieving qualities that can be put on a resume.
Yes, they help us gain a good reputation, get a dream job and stand out among hundreds of thousands of specialists like us, but they don’t make us human. But it’s how you build a family, maintain relationships with friends and, in general, live outside the work space that is much more important.
Happiness is not always career achievements. Sometimes this is an ordinary life with the possibility of including those closest to us and maintaining the wealth necessary for our comfort. Of course, this life scenario is not suitable for everyone, but it brings us down to earth so that we can once again evaluate our priorities.
Include leisure and hobbies in your list of priorities
We usually list hobbies last on our list of priorities. But it is a hobby that makes us feel happy. If you want to enjoy life, leave some time to be able to do what you love every day.
You should not treat a hobby as an activity that you must choose once and for the rest of your life. Yes, it happens, but in most cases, over time, our hobbies undergo changes. Also, you shouldn’t think that you have to earn money from your hobby. If you're a good singer, play a musical instrument, or can even combine the two, sometimes it's better to just do it for fun.
Methods
Each person has his own algorithm, you need to choose a method that resonates with life rhythms and then the result of your efforts will increase several times. You can try them out in practice or trust your intuition.
Eisenhower Matrix
To implement it, priorities are distributed according to two criteria - urgency and importance. They are written out according to the principle of a coordinate system, where tasks are lined up diagonally from the upper left corner to the lower right.
The table is clear and allows you to evaluate both the overall scale and the number of intermediate stages. It protects against cases falling into the category of urgent ones falling out of sight. Such a system is not only convenient to use, but also disciplines and coordinates.
Making lists
Some people don’t understand how important it is to be able to properly prioritize work and life and what this means for achieving your goals well. By grasping at everything at once, they risk losing everything, like sand slipping through their fingers. The basic principle of the list is from the most important to the most unimportant. It is advisable to make 2 lists, focusing on importance and urgency, and then check them for matches.
Pareto rule
Another original and effective method is to select 20% of the most necessary tasks and focus your efforts on them, leaving the rest for gradual implementation as far as possible. It turns out that solving the main tasks first frees up a lot of time and energy for other activities, accelerating progress towards the finish line.
Descartes square
No matter what century a person lives in, knowing what correctly set priorities are will save him internal resources. It is simple, like everything ingenious, it requires concentration, but gives a very accurate result. Suitable for remote purposes for several years or a lifetime. Each is considered from 4 sides, which takes into account:
- consequences of failure;
- what will disappear or not happen when the plan is implemented;
- What can you lose if you don’t do anything?
The complexity of the process is compensated by the quick placement of tasks in order of importance.
ABC method
Eliminates the loss of significant things in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. To implement it, it is enough to distribute all tasks into 3 columns:
- important;
- not too much;
- you can get by.
Despite its apparent simplicity, the method works great; when used systematically, it disciplines thoughts and trains memory.
Olympic device
A competitive approach is used according to the “winner-loser” principle, where tasks are ranked by level of importance through comparison, the one that is recognized as more significant goes through the next round, from 1/8 to the final. A coherent system is being built that is no longer questioned and is a guide to action. This helps you understand how to prioritize something and achieve a positive outcome.
Pairwise comparison method
It is similar to a figure skating assessment, but in addition to “artistry and technique” there should be 3-4 more criteria, where significance is determined on a scale of 5 points. Leaders in total quantity are promoted to the first lines that must be completed. The ideal option would be a match in several positions, which means that the goals complement each other and will most effectively move the system towards the completion of the process.
Mutual influence
Here you will have to calculate moves, like in a chess game. The point is to find a goal that indirectly influences the fulfillment of others. For example, to get a new position, you need to undergo training, which will increase the respect of others and the person’s competence as an employee. To travel to courses, you need a certain amount of money, which will encourage you to look for new sources of income, and over time they will increase the well-being of the family as a whole. It is convenient to mark dependencies with arrows or any other icons. The one that is indicated by the largest number of signs becomes the main one at the moment.
Ask a question
Contribution to global goals
Here the search object becomes a task that leads to satisfying more requests. The method is diametrically opposed to the priority of mutual influence. Also worthy of consideration and fragmentary application.
Multivariate analysis
To implement it, you will have to allocate not just a free minute, but spend a significant amount of time, ultimately obtaining a fairly accurate work plan. To do this, everything is written out in a general list, several parameters are set, and each is given a rating from 1 to 5. The more criteria and the more honest the answer, the more accurate the forecast.
In addition to scientifically based methods, there are quite original ways of prioritizing tasks that are easy to do correctly. These include:
- the method of roasting a rooster when you can no longer put it off;
- a squeaky wheel, where the criterion becomes irritation from what is not accomplished;
- a target system that involves the implementation of what catches the eye.
Such methods of action give a short-term effect, but also have the right to life. The main thing is that they bring results.
The 2-minute rule saves you from accumulating annoying little things. It is used daily. The point is that if a task takes less than 120 seconds, then it is completed immediately and crossed off the list, without clogging up the space.
The wealth of methods allows you to choose one or several, starting with simple ones and gradually mastering more complex and effective ones. Organizing the use of time will result in an increase in the effectiveness of work on solving current problems. The proof of the statement is the example of the busiest people. They manage to accomplish what they have planned, go in for sports, dedicate a certain number of hours to their favorite activity, and leave the evening for socializing with friends.
Meaning of the concept
Human life has many facets; it is complex, unpredictable and individual. Each person has his own character, so people treat the same events in life differently.
Views on current events and their perception distinguishes one person from another. Everyone associates the word priority with different things. A student sees a long-awaited diploma in front of him, an athlete sees victory in a competition, a young specialist sees career growth. The concept of what life priorities are can be characterized by the following phrase:
“Priorities are activities that, after a certain time, can justify the effort and time spent on them.”
Basic values in human life
It is difficult to meet two people who have absolutely identical priorities. However, there are personal values that are common to all intelligent women and men. What can be the most important thing in human life? A person's basic values make up a short list.
- Self-love. It should not be confused with selfishness and narcissism. This is a sense of self-esteem, the desire to develop as a person, the desire to achieve happiness and inner harmony. Without a healthy dose of self-love, a person will not be able to live a full life.
- Family. For the vast majority of people, life priorities are to achieve family happiness. A wife or husband, children, grandchildren, a cozy home is a huge wealth.
- Career. What are the life values? Many people attach paramount importance to their professional activities. For active ladies and gentlemen, career growth sometimes means more than family, so they focus all their efforts on achieving success in the workplace.
- Public life. Altruists consider working for the good of society as their main priority. Such people usually put their own needs in the background.
- Self-discipline. Life values - what are they? This is the ability to direct personal activity to achieve any results in such a way that the actions taken do not contradict moral principles. Discipline is extremely important for an individual - the ability to fulfill responsibilities and promises given to oneself or others. Self-discipline requires enormous willpower and character, but it is incredibly beneficial for personal growth.
Values in a person’s life can be different, individual and completely unexpected. They are reflected in the goals set and ways to achieve them. If we talk about non-core values in life, what they are:
- honesty;
- health;
- optimism;
- patience;
- tolerance;
- spiritual development;
- respect;
- hope;
- creative realization;
- Gratitude;
- faith in people.
The list can be continued for quite a long time. All these priorities represent a complex structure. Thanks to them, a person can foresee the negative outcome of a situation and all kinds of failures. They are guided throughout life, but it is accepted that over time moral attitudes can change dramatically.
Classification of priorities
Values in life can be compared to guidelines. At the right time, a person can rely on them and use them to check the correctness of the chosen direction. These are personal qualities, human beliefs, ideals and a sense of the correctness of what an individual does in life. When priorities in life are vague, there may be a loss of meaning in existence and, as a result, a state of despair.
If, for example, there are problems with the position of the financial plan, or it is sometimes not too easy for a person to make a decision on some issue, this means that the world within him does not correspond to the surrounding reality.
Important! Priorities, which can also be called attitudes, are good companions for living a full, vibrant and productive life.
Priorities are a purely individual matter and different for each person, man and woman. They may depend on upbringing in the family, what was said and instilled in the child from childhood (how he was raised and taught at school). The foundation of a harmonious personality is laid from an early age through the instillation of moral qualities and other undeniable virtues.
Choosing Priorities
The list of priorities can be very long. However, out of the entire existing variety of values, three main ones are distinguished:
- Everything related to professional activity: business, career, work, job search, resume writing and everything related to the chosen path of work;
- Everything that relates to matters of a personal nature: personal relationships and personal life;
- Everything that can be considered personal development: spiritual growth, knowledge of oneself and life.
Factors influencing priorities in a person’s life
Habits of successful people - what to do every day for success in life
In order to set priorities in life, it is necessary to take into account the influence of some factors that may seem insignificant and simple, but this is only at first glance. In fact, they influence a person’s position in life and specific views:
- Time can be put in first place among all such factors. Many people in their youth do not often think about maintaining their health or family life. They give greater preference to career or fun. At a more mature age, they begin to place values in an order completely opposite to the first.
- The next factor is the events that happened in everyone’s life. Here, an important role is played by what they were like: bad or good, sad or joyful. These events determine how a person looks at this or that situation in life, having in his arsenal the experience of similar things in the past.
- The most important and even key factor is considered to be the experienced difficulties in life in any one or several areas at once. There may be two options for how events will develop. If some failures occur in work or in its search, a person may strive even more for a better result or, fearing past losses, completely lose all hope and put this priority in place last.
Examples
To better understand what prioritization is, let's look at some very simple real-life examples:
Example 1. A person leaves for a few days on a business trip. In five minutes a taxi should come for him and take him to the airport. During this time, he will have time to either wash the dishes or water the flowers. What's more important?
Priority task: water the flowers. Nothing will happen to the dishes during these days, but the flowers may die.
Example 2. A man went to the supermarket to buy milk for his child and some spicy meat seasoning for himself. Suddenly he discovered that there was only enough money for one thing. What's better to buy?
Priority task: buy milk. Seasoning is not something necessary.
Example 3. A sales manager was going to clear corporate email of spam. At that moment, a regular customer called him and asked him to accept the order. What should you do now?
Priority task: take the order. This is the main responsibility of a manager.
Example 4. A young man graduated from university. He set himself two short-term goals: to find a high-paying job in his specialty and to raise money for a down payment on a mortgage. What should he think about first?
Priority goal: find a job. Without this, the second goal is unlikely to be realized.
Note that all the examples listed above are unambiguous and even a little exaggerated: in them it is immediately clear what is important and what is not.
However, in real life, priorities cannot always be determined by eye. Sometimes this requires carefully analyzing the situation, considering the consequences and weighing all the possible pros and cons.
It is also important to understand that the priority of any task is usually a subjective concept. In the same situation, for one person it will be important to “finish a project at work”, for another it will be “to go to training”, and for a third it will be “to go on a picnic with the family”. Here, a lot depends on the goals and values of the person, his character and personal qualities.
Literature on the topic
Vital priorities are given a lot of attention in good literary works. With the help of these books, people can protect themselves from rash actions, discover new things and reconsider the significance of their own existence. Books about real, real values:
- "The Little Prince" (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry).
- “An alley cat named Bob. How a man and a cat found hope on the streets of London" (James Bowen).
- “The Second Life of Ove” (Fredrik Backman).
- “Welcome to the world, Baby!” (Fanny Flagg).
- "The Great Gatsby" (Francis Scott Fitzgerald).
- Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (Stephen King).
- "When God Was a Rabbit" (Sarah Winman).
- "While I Live" (Jenny Downham).
- “Magical cleaning. The Japanese art of putting things in order at home and in life" (Marie Kondo).
- "The Kite Runner" (Khaled Hosseini).
Life priorities, examples of which are: self-development, friendship, health and status - a compass for the correct life path of each person. All people choose what is closest to their heart and worldview. The main thing is that a person should live harmoniously and coexist with other people, nature and the world as a whole.
Limited list
The main priorities in life should not be confused with a wish list. To make a choice, you need to highlight several of the most important areas in life. Just imagine that the list consists of ten items and try not to exceed it. It is necessary to formulate goals that will provide the desired state. For example, you shouldn’t plan to have high incomes and at the same time not want to work, not want to give up bad habits and dream of good health. You have to be prepared for the fact that something will have to be sacrificed.
Three spheres of values
Priorities are individual and depend mainly on what a particular person was instilled in childhood in the family and school. Education of morality and other virtues is the key to a harmonious personality with the correct priorities of life values.
Their full list is huge. But there are three most significant parts of the values of a healthy personality:
- Business, work, business.
- Personal life and relationships.
- Own development.
In addition, they share material and spiritual values.
